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My Evil Step Dad

 i know hate may seem a strong word but in this case i dont think its strong enough. im 16 years old and live in england. my step dad treats me like a **** head i dont understand why when im a good child i get good grades at school dont ever get in trouble im just dont understand why he dont treat me well. ive lost alot of confidence in my self because he puts me down. its like i only do some think small wrong and he goes crazy and starts shouting at me. also when he walks past my bedroom he calls me names. i dont not what i have done. the worst thing about it is that no one else can see it. he acts so nice round my mum my friends and my girlfriend. the other day in fact she was telling me what a nice man he was. also he calls me lazy when i have a paper round job and i habe to wake up a 6.30 in the morning and one time my bike got a puncher an he was moaning when i asked him to take me round in his car :@. he dont even have a job he hasnt work for four years now. he has a heart problem but the doctor said he should go back to work maybe in shopping centre but all does he stay at home getting benefits. its not like we are a rich family in fact my mum stuggles with her money and it would be a great help if he even got a part time job but all he says is i dont wanna lose my benefits i mean come on how lazy can you get he doesnt even do any work at home. some times i cry with the way he treats me he hurts me inside i wonder what ive done wrong. so i plucked up the courage to tell my mum what i think of him so she said she would get rid of him. but they did this thing were it seemed like every think was my fault my mum was crying because she loves him. i called my best friend an he came round and told me that to make my mum happy would to tell her ill give him another chance. i did this every think was ok for a week then he was back to his old ways. i told my mum the other week im goin to move out but she said it would brake her heart to see me go but i cant live with this man any i try to avoid him but my mum insist i have to get along with him. hes also very racist i find that offesive seeing as i hang round with mainly black people an im scared if hes racist infront of them :/. i need help so please if you have any advice tell me thank you. x

itstwilton itstwilton 16-17 77 Responses Apr 13, 2009

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I see how you feel. My step dad has been married to my mom for about 5 years I think and he treats me like an a**. Earlier today I went in the kitchen to help my mom cook and he started yelling at me and telling me that my mom didn't need help. Of course she agrees to him. She always does. They fight a lot and he has moved out 3 times in the past year. He calls me names. One time him and my mom were fighting and my step brother pushed me into the washer and dryer and I went to tell my mom he told me to shut up you c**t and I told him no I don't have to listen to you. He came after me trying to hit me. He complains that I'm the messiest person in the house but my room is always clean and my stuff is always neat. Honestly my two step brothers are the messiest. When he goes to the store to get drinks and asks everyone what they want I tell him what I want, he either doesn't get me anything, gets me something I don't like, or gets me what I want but gives it to my brothers bc I've been "bad". He calls me fat and says I'm the one that eats everything in the kitchen but I don't I barely eat at all. Trying to overcome my ANOREXIA so I don't eat a lot. I used to cut because how bad he treats me but I've stopped. I usually always stay in my room trying to avoid him. I've asked to move out and I do ask about 5 times a month to live with my grandma. But she says no. When I tell her that I don't like him she says I'll think about a divorce but never does. I hate him. I am only a 13 year old girl and I hate my life being treated like a piece of sh*t.

My stepfather was very nasasistic, he played his plan to kick me and brother out of home by the age I was 15 and my brother 14, he would daily threaten me with how he will punch my head inn and how superior he was because he wasn't mixed race in the end he swing a punch at me and I swing back and won that fight I was kicked out because he had been planing it ( you may have won the battle but not the war) I was dealing with a weirdo who enjoyed playing mind games and lying..end the end years later I tricked him and exposed him to the mother as what king of scum bag he is, it took a while but as soon as I seen the opportunity I set him up and finally caused a divorce between him and my mother ousting him forever..I told him I set him up strange enough I was proud but even in victory there are always be scares, seeing the way he and the old lady argued and fought occasionally the mind games the drama the threats the racist taunts it wasn't easy but now as a adult I'm doing better then him he reign of terroir has ended

I wonder if anyone is stuck in my situation but doubtful... Im the odd kid in the family...different last name yet same mother but a scared freaking 16yr old I cant tell no one cause my mom is happy with my step dad and I don't want to make her unhappy plus he is our main money source and were about to get a new home near were he lives... my step Is kinda sexual with me all he can do is spank my moms *** then mine sometimes he watches **** when Im around and he is so sick! Also he hates his step father cause he used words to put down his mother and some hitting on him here and there and 6 yrs ago he quit hitting us but today Idk what got into him he just got out of his chair told my brother (who latly has been acting like both step fathers) told him to stop scream then hit him then spanked him then I screamed stop but he is like a little spanky wont do anything but it adds up with the spanky and hitting he first scared us then I when and ignored the yelling and hitting and he started to ignore me then when the sexual things got worst I started cutting but I didn't want to die so I quit and my brother when into sucide thoughts and Im worried either now my brother will kill someone (he had threated before) or kill himself....Hes only 12yrs old...

I had a step dad like that he abused my mother and hit my brother I waited till I grew up till I was strong enough to defend my mother and brother until one night I heard shouting downstairs. I tried shutting it out but I felt anger and rage inside and thought this bastard needs a lesson so I opened my bedroom door walked downstairs and knocked the **** out of my dad and called him everything in the book. My mom was slumped crying on the floor before pulling me off him. My little brother of course out of curiosity walks down stairs to meet the state all of us where. He then hugged my mom and then I got on my knees and whispered to him and said "I'm making a stand to you *** hole hope you learned a lesson then I pushed him out of the door and locked it. He comes back now and then asking for forgiveness shouting through the letter box but I tell my mom not to listen I'm sixteen and made a stand. So should you

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You have to stay strong, he is your dad, go and talk to him if why is he like that to you:( I feel so sorry for you when I read your story but stay strong sis :) if you need help please add me on facebook, Faimafiliosamoa Utuva Tupu, I will always help you :)

I'm 15 and my stepdad always goes around the house mumbling and getting mad about everything. My room is relatively clean, my things are not everywhere, the only bad thing is my grades which he doesn't care about, and which aren't even that bad, I got two D's last year that's it. I have a boyfriend in the next town over who always wants to see me so he and my mom have to drive me 45 minutes to go see him but idk why that's so much to ask I mean he is home most of the day, I work more than he does,use my own money for things, etc so idk why a 45 trip is so bad especiay cause I help out a lot.

I know how it feels. I'm 15 and my step dad is a c**t to me. I am dyslexic and he finds in funny that I struggle with my writing and reading and he feels it is right to make fun of me rather than help me. He has been married to my mum for about 10 years in October and he has never tried to make an effort for me. I am also overweight sometimes if I go into the kitchen to make my lunch he will call me a pig or another name and he has always put my self-confidence down. When my Mum is working or away out I just like to sit in my room because if I sit with him in the living room something will always kick off with it somehow being my fault. Even sometimes when I am just in my room he will come in and seem to make up an issue like if I have forgot to make my bed or something. I talked to my mum about this and she doesn't think it is that bad but when I am anywhere near him it makes me mad. Too the point where multiple times I have moved into my aunties (I don't have any other close family my auntie is the only other family I have). When I am at my aunties I am a lot calmer and tend to do better in my school work. My step dad also has 2 other children which he had with my mum one who is 5 and the other 3. He treats them 10 times better than me. Sometimes if he is out to the shop and he will get them a drink or a sweet I'll ask him "Did you get me something?" and he will reply with "No, I didn't because you don't need anything more fatty!" which really puts me down. At the age of 13 my mum decided to take me to a therapist because I was felling so depressed with my life and how I was treated. We talked for a few months and he basically sad he thinks my depression was because of my step dad so he suggested we should try Family therapy but my step dad refused to come and that was the last time I spoke to my therapist. So now I don't know what to do continue living with my auntie or go home. I miss my mum, brothers and sisters so much back home but I don't want to be there if my step dad is. So yeah that's my story.

I feel you man. My stepdad is a d**k. I cant stand him. He treats me like s**t anf gives my little sister all the love in the world only because she is actually his child. I love my mom and my sister but I cant stand my stepdad. My mom never used to drink before she met him, now she is an alcoholic. He works and pays bills, and i respect that. But he calls me worthless, lazy, and disrespectful. He is the disrespectful one, he talks aboutf***ing my mom in front of me. My life isnt the greatest anyways, and its tough coming home from a bad day at school and having your d bag stepdad call you worthless. I have honestly contemplated suicide, but then i remember about all of my friends and family that i care about and that care about me. My stepdad can call me useless all he wants, but i know that im not, and you should too. Just completely ignore him if that is what it takes.

I'm really sorry about that, I hope you're doing better now. My mom remarried when I was 4, but my stepdad didn't move in until the fourth grade when I was like nine. I remember trying to commit suicide so many times and cutting myself too because that's how depressing my life was with him. My stepdad's a nice person overall, and he treats my mom well so it's not like I can be like "hey you jerk, get out of my life" or anything like that. And everything I believed in was aparently wrong in his eyes, and he grew up being the oldest child out of five so he's bossy and narrowminded. I can be really sarcastic when I'm mad, and he can be controlling so I guess our relationship never really worked out.
I hope you didn't move out or anything like that because I mean not that I don't have faith in you, but life just gets harder when you're on your own. Try ignoring your dad. Suck in everything mean he tells you and just hope that you'll one day get a high paying job (or if you're still in high school like me, get a scholarship far far away from where you live) :)
And I know how much his words can get to you, and I understand how unfair and frustrating it is, but don't do anything rash like cut yourself or anything as stupid. Because in my case, the scars don't go away. Not now, not ever.
Sincerely yours truly,

I can relate, my parents got divorced when I was 11 and my mom married him (step-father) when I was 13. She kept the relationship secret for a while until we saw some flowers on the table one day (only flowers she gotten shes told me). It was less then a year after my parents split, and it was another year until she had me and my sister meet him. I didn't understand why she was dating him because I just didn't see his appeal, he was southern like hick almost, and he seemed a lot older and like a lot older. Turns out, he was the man I saw briefly when I was 11 after church camp one year. My mom had driven us to a house somewhat near our camp to visit a "friend." I just remember a elderly couple and my mom running out of the car to hug the elderly man. It turns out that the "elderly couple" I had seen was him and his mother. When they we just dating I just figured it wouldn't last long but not too much longer later he proposed, I remember being so depressed they day. After they were married I started experiencing anger issues because I didn't like his alpha-male mentality. He grew up in a household where men were dominant. He had this ego where he thought he could do no wrong and that he always thought he was right, it drove me mad. One of the first things he ever said to me was "Now your just a kid, you don't know much, but if you listen to me you'll be smart like me one day." (add heavy southern accent) Now this is the same man that around the same time he told me this, he told my younger sister to walk around with a bag on her head to see what its like to be blind, and her being so young, did it and fell down the stairs. I don't mean to be mean but he isn't the brightest man, he's pretty ignorant. Simple minded I'd say. He's done some good things though, like saving my cat, paying for stuff he didn't have to like my car insurance (I never asked him to and feel bad that he does since I don't like him, but he insists), etc. And his family is also real nice. But the bad out-weights the good a majority of the time. My mom feels stuck in the marriage a lot of the times. He drinks heavily, and has trouble keeping a steady job. The only job he's had awhile is at Wal-Mart. He's so proud of that job and acts like it earns more then my mom's substitute teaching job which she went to college for, and he is just a stock person during the graveyard shift. He lied to her about making over 30,000 a year with it. It's like stuff like that, that drives me insane about him. Like why lie about something like that? He also has hit my sister in the past. She was 12 and wouldn't tell us where she was. He had been drinking, and he took me and my mom in his truck to look for her. We found my sister at her friends house. He trespassed into that friends house and physically removed her from the building kicking and screaming dragging her outside down the brick steps, when he had her in the front yard he told my mother to hit her and they both started hitting her repeatedly (my mom always follows directions by anyone, my grandmother raised her like that, she wouldn't have done it otherwise). I was standing in my sisters friends living room and her mother called the police along with some neighbors. My sister later told me that when she was alone in the truck with him he smacked her in the face and said something like "can't do anything now can you?" and laughed. He wasn't charged with anything but we lived with our grandmother for a week. His drinking was always a problem. That was the only incident that was real bad. I was a terrible kid after they were married and I feel bad about some things I've done/said to him but he didn't exactly make it easy. I did lock him in the garage at 17 when he was drinking and he knocked the door down threatening to kick me out of the house. I don't blame my mom because she is just a genuinely sweet lady and he put on a mask when they were dating, and she can be easily manipulated and gullible at times. She regrets it now, it took it like 3-5 years for it to start to fail. They go through cycles. It's hard for me and my sister to watch. It's been 10 years almost and I have no clue how I've lived with him that long. His habits like hanging the hand towel on the back of the door drive me crazy on a daily basis. I'm moving out with my boyfriend later this year and it just can't come soon enough. I live in my mom's house in a 2 bedroom home, with 4 people living here, my mom, sister, me, and him. My bed is in the living room, and he wakes me up almost every morning being loud in the kitchen, talking to my mother, or saying goodbye to his dog that is on the couch 5 feet away from me! I don't like that he thinks its okay to be that close to me when I am asleep, I mean he's not a blood relative, he's a random guy my mom dated twice when she was 20 and re-dated/married after my parents split. Which makes it creeper. Thank god I'm getting out of this soon. Wish all of you guys luck!

I'm sorry for your situation. Sometimes our mothers can betray us with who they choose to show more of their love to. Sometimes I feel I shouldn't talk bad about my stepdad because my biological father is much worse, but then I see how she works herself to the bone...even giving her meals to him when he says he's hungry, gives him her money, sleeps on the couch when he wants the bed to himself. He works when she has the courage to complain but most of the time isn't. I do what I can but it's hard when she doesn't want me around most of the time. Life's hard but all we can do is be better than they are. All I can say is I've sworn off of marriage till the day I die.

I know how you feel. Only this time it is my biological father. My mother does not even want me going to the store because he has kidnapped me before and he could do it again. Not to mention that he has a shotgun, possible black market. He has tried to use his shotgun on my mother. I only fear that he will hurt my mother or my brother. So i really know how you feel and then some. The best thing to do is to have a strong education, move out, get a high paying job based on your choice, invite your mother to live with you, and then forget about him. It did not work for me because i am still a kid but i will never give up on my future. (Yes my mom considers being 15 a kid). I am glad my bio does not live with me but he knows where i live.

I think that all the people who are thinking of moving out should move in together. We could share stories and support each other because no one int eh same situation can ever understand me. If only it was possible

maybe try to tell the school or the police. your mother should love you enough to leave this cruel man. my stepfather abused us for years. he also beat my mother. now my back is crooked from working as a young teenager. because I had to pay for my own school fees and clothing. He also broke my nose. He is dead now. but I am sure he went to Hell. I have a hard life now. no education. hardly any money to raise my kids. I am a single parent now. but hate my mother and stepfather to this day for putting me through such a cruel childhood. I was in foster care for about 2 years for neglect. They should have never got me out.

Well Jesus did say that it were better for a man that hurts children to cast a milestone around his neck and throw it in the sea. So yes, that man is in hell.

He sounds cruel. I had a step dad like that. he worked but was cruel. My mom of course loved him. they both are dead now old age. but they gave all the inheritance to my stepfather's child. she is my half sister. they left me with nothing. I am poor and my sister is rich. she inherited large sums of money. I would try to plead with your mom to leave him.

Put foot down. Tell him that the day he gets off lazy *** 2 help pay bills or clean house is day he can start treating u like old donkey. Say if he doesn't like it, there's always door he can use 2 kick himself out. Them add another insult. Like "oh that's right, you can't walk out the door. If u do, you'll be out on streets like useless beggars." He won't bother u no more. He probably won't have none enough courage 2 even look u in eyes. If it keeps going on, talk 2 máma. Tell her, either he leaves or u leave. In my country, there is saying "if u luv something, set it free. And if it comes back, set it 2 flames." If u tell her that, she'll know what needs 2 be done. Ur stepfather is a chilito, pinche pendeja, puto, panzón who apedrears. U and ur máma deserve better. Good luck. And if any questions, message me. :)

My stepdad is a ******* ******* too! He makes my mom cry and i always ask her why she married him and i dont even think she even knows. I get great grades (all A's) and I behave well, but that ****** still likes his own dumbass children better than me! my step sister is 19, dropped out of college and is in hair school! she's a ******* weed head and hates my mom! i hate living with him i just want to leave so badly but im only 14. i think i may ask to live with my gma. today my mom was trying to clean the ******* house but my stepdad's **** was everywhere (he's a ******* 40 year old DJ.... ******* idiot!) and she moved his speakers in the already ****** up basement and he threw all of our **** in the basement outside! he has anger issues and im afraid he's going to put his hands on my mother. im sure he hates me too. he is very childish and anytime my mom wants to talk things out he acts like a kid and puts his hands over his ears. maybe you could call the police. make sure u and ur mom are away from him and call the ******* police!! im serious! if my stepdad threatens my mom im gonna call the police. anyone who already has an abusive stepdad should do so too! STEPDAD'S ARE ****! PS im a girl :P

U r the girl version of my stepdad is a racist as well..cept mines does work but likes to get all the credit to himself..he complains saying how America is full of b****s and h**s and all the profanity words u can think of..he has hurt my mom my little sister and I..broken promises and lies about him getting hitched with my mom..emotional abuse as well as disrespect..he wants no happiness for no one..all eyes on his royal highness we must say good mornin or else he wud be cranky..ask his permission for anything...he needs to kno absolutely everything what's goin on in our lives..I wudve moved out but I made a bet with myself I won't leave the house till he is gone..he had told my mom that I wud be the first to leave with the first assh** that runs into me..Im a bit hardheaded myself but I won't let him don't let ur stepdad day u will be older enough to Stand on ur own 2 feet and defend ur mom and urself..don't let ur stepdad overwhelm u..I kno our stepdads are words can't even describe what they are..but I assure u once u graduate school find a Part time job and continue school..don't let him win u have to win no Matter what and be thinking 2 steps ahead of them..times will be like hell and I also cry but i have a goal and my goal is to move my sister and mom ahead in life so Im not gonna make some loser that isn't my blood make me feel inferior or that im trash or an unblessed don't make that loser that u call a stepdad make u feel like ur nothing..u r something and for u to share ur story made me feel I'm not the only one goin thru make a goal to help ur mom move ahead and give her a better that one day u can tell that loser to kiss ur *** and have a nice day..

Good luck and hope things turn out the best for u..:)

Well try confronting him in front of your mom maybe spill all your feelings and say he is making you feeling uncomfortable and worthless ( which I think as you explained you are ) and you think that if she cared about you she would do this for you. If that doesn't work try the " I'm a victim " look with a pouty face.

Hey man my stepdad is such an ***. He comes home and does nothing but yell and scream. He beats the living **** out of my dog and my siblings and I but my mom ignores it, and when it tell her about it, she acts like its the first she's heard of it! He talks so much shi about my dad even though its all lies, probably just mad because my dad smashed mg mom first. I know he's jealous one day I get home and tell him stop hitting my dog and he puts me down literally saying things like, no one likes you, you ain't got no friends, no girls want your ugly ***, your dad is a stupid mother ****** you look just like him. Every day I think of killing him. I've got tons of ways set out, all of them guaranteed not to get me caught. What's holding me back? I don't know but something better change I can't continue to live in a house where I hate the people in it and live I'm fear every single day.

I know exactly how you feel. My stepdad is bipolar and when he's home he always has to be a smart *** to me. We can't have a normal conversation without him saying something that makes me wanna talk back. He always complains about me, and will never shut up. He always finds something to criticize me in. He says he's trying to be a father figure, but that's a damn lie, he's awful, mean, and only treats me bad, not his kids. In reality my only father figure has been my grandpa, but he's currently dying of cancer. So right now my life is really tough, I'm failing math, I'm sad about my grandpa, and I have to put up with my awful stepfather. I haven't talked to my dad in years, he left me when I was little so I wish he was the one dying of cancer. No one can understand how much I HATEE My Dad. Goodluck to all of you with awful stepdads as well

Same situation here. My dad left me because he was a philandering *** hole. He hasn't been supporting my sister and me. I've been living with my mom and step dad for only 2 years. I never have a father figure because my grandparents disowned my mom and never really have family member can talk with. Most of all, I hate my father and my step father. They hurt my mom so much and I just don't know what to do. I am scarred for life because of the situation I'm in right now. My step father threaten me to kick me out of the house and he told my mom that I tried to destroy his marriage. She verbally abuse my mom and my mom just mope around and does nothing about it. I don't know what to do. I feel like dying so my mom can financially just worry about my sister and herself. So I am scarred for life and I promised myself not to get marry and have children. Life is just depressing right now. I was only 4 when my father left my mom and only 16 now.

You really shouldn't promise yourself to not marry or have children the thing that's good about you is you'd never do that to your wife or kids. Try to get your mom to get a divorce and tell her he's ruining you and your sisters lives, making you depressed and not want to see the wonder of having children! Also try and get a job and get your sister a job ( depending On Her age ).

I'm so sorry and I feel you. My grandpa just died of cancer and he was my only father figure, but now that he's gone, I have no father figure anymore. My stepdad is a total ****. My grandpa was the only person that was a father to me

You know, I am 12, and my step dad hates me too. He beats me. He says I won't ever succeed in life because I am a girl. He thinks that all girls are Stupid. I get good grades. I just dont know why he hates me. Lucky for you, your mom cares about you. Every night when I walk through the door as soon as I get home from school, all I hear is threats from him like," You are a dumb*ss. You will never get a job.", or "Your children will hate you someday." Or "I will beat the living sh*t out of you until you bleed.". When my dad was a kid, his dad would beat him until he was "bloody to the mouth." He even has a scar of when his dad took a metal pole to his face. Now, he brings out all that anger on me. If it gets to the point where you're being beaten, move out. At least you can. I am still 12, so I can't move out yet. Don't sass your stepdad back, though. Because I sassed my dad once, I got a painful beating.
Four major words of advice:
1: If the emotional abuse turns into physical abuse, move out. Trust me on this one.
2: Keep your head down low. Don't cause any mayhem or attitude until you're sure you can move out.
3: Get by with what you need to get by with. I have a secret food stash in my room, so when my parents tell me no dinner or food that day, I still have something to eat at least.
4: This is the most important piece of advice: BE PREPARED. There might be a day where you just had enough. You might "set off a bomb" and get everyone emotional. If this happens, be prepared for anything. Like, moving out.
Well, hope you get good ideas out of my advice. Good luck with your step-dad.

Wait! I forgot:
5: this is the MOST IMPORTANT piece of advice. Please don't let your mean step-dad get in the way of you succeeding at school. If your dad says you're dumb, don't listen to him. A good quote: "If you dream it, you can do it." The quote means that you can do anything you want with your life. Don't let your dad grind down your self-esteem (or your grades). You can do anything that you set your mind to. Remember that.

Try alerting the authorities NeonPulse tell them they hurt you and sometimes do t give you dinner. I think you should tell someone quick before it gets to serious

Neonpulse, I agree with Helperperson. You should alert authorities AS SOON AS POSSIBLE! Shame on your mom for not protecting you! This ***** has no right to put his hands on you and no giving you dinner??! What the hell is up with that? What you're describing is a clear and SEVERE case of child abuse. You have to report them. Do it for you and all the other children who are abused out there and are too scared to speak up. You come across as an outgoing and extremely intelligent person. It's clear to me that you will be a very successful person in the future but the longer you stay there, the more in danger you will become. I know you're only 12 and are probably scared about what will happen in you report them but if your father beats you and it leaves any scars on your body, go report it to a teacher at school. Go to an adult you trust and they will help you. It broke my heart to read your entry. I wish you well and keep your head up. You are AWESOME!!!! Hug!

I totally feel for ALL of you guys. My stepdad is an ******* as well. I come from Poland but live in Cambridge, England with my mum, 4 (nearly 5) year old sister (who is my stepdad's biological daughter). He gets angry whenever I do ANYTHING wrong. You see, I'm clumsy. VERY clumsy. I probably smashed more things in the house than our whole family put together, and I trip up more often and more unfortunately than Johnny Depp as Jack Sparrow. Also, I often need guidance on how to do things, and I'm NOT very independent when it comes to things like that. This means my stepdad gets a lot of opprutunities to put me down. A good example is when I was once ill or it was the school holiday, and I was at home with my dad and sister (my mum works during the day). He told me to make cereal for my sister, and I accidentally poured in too much milk. He gave me an exasperated sigh and told me it was too much, so I poured out some and showed it to him. This time, he just took the bowl from me and made the cereal himself, all the time saying how I can't even make cereal and stuff. That is another thing I hate about him. His responses. You know how you shouldn't treat your parents as your friends? Well, that's exactly what HE does to ME. Recently, it snowed here, and my grandma and aunt came over from Poland for holiday, so I decided to chuck a snowball at them as they got out of the car (they were at Primark, I came back from school and was waiting for them outside our house). At the last second, I thought hitting THEM might not be such a good idea, so I let the snowball fly early and hit the window. My dad's response was something along the lines of "What the hell?! And you dumb or something?!". And that's not ever the worse of it. Often, he swears at me, and puts me down all the time. Seriously, whenever I try to help with something, he puts me down. Another example here - one time, my sister was naughty, and got shouted at by my mum, so she went upstairs. I calmed her down, and told her i'll help her do downstairs and apologize. We went down but she didn't speak, so I started to talk to her, trying to get her to say it(you know, things like "You know what you wanted to say? Come on."), but before I could say a word, my stepdad is all like "Shut up" and "She doesn't need lawyers" and "Go work on yourself, not on her. Get on with your own business", and he NEVER says anything nice to me out of his own accord. Even when my progress check is very good, or I write a good essay, he never says anything by himself - he only compliments me if I ask him "Do you think this is good?". But the WORST thing of all is who he treats my mum. Every time they get into an argument, he will swear at her, and abuse her, saying things like "You are ****** up", implying that something's wrong with her brain. Also, he absolutely NEVER helps her with anything. And I mean, NOTHING. My mum needs to make the dinner, wash up, everything. If something's not done, that lazy ******* won't even bother to do it. Another prime example here - my sister recently started going to reception. My mum needs to take care of EVERYTHING - make her lunch, do the homework with her, ever ready her clothes. Seriously! Once, my mum forgot to ready her school clothes for my dad to put on her, and guess what? That lazy ***** didn't bother taking her to school! Also, another incident - he once actually didn't take her to school because he OVERSLEPT! And the worst thing is, this all has an impact on my sister. Her attendance is getting progressively worse - my mum has been phoned my the school because of it. Seriously, this is the worst thing of all. His laziness. All he does is what he wants, gets on with HIS hobbies, and things about himself and himself only. I bet you, if my mum didn't cook dinner, and there was only a little left, he would first give some to my sister, then to HIMSELF, and only then to me. And if there was not enough by that time, well, tough luck for me. This is another matter. His favourising. He favourizes my little sister A LOT. I mean, I know my sister is his biological daughter, so I guess he might love her a TEENY bit more, but his favourism is over the top. In most matters, when there's an argument between me and my sister, he will come running and support her. And my sister is VERY bossy. She often tells me to do stuff, and gets angry when I don't. When I answer back, she starts crying, and her crying is like an alarm to my dad. But things and not so bad as I thought. At least my mum is not like the mothers of many here. She actually supports me, and often fights for me when my dad starts to abuse me - she often has arguments with him because of me. I wish I could move out, but I don't want to leave her, and also, I don't want to leave my school here, because it's an amazing school and I have friends in this school. The worst thing is that I actually have a choice, which is killing me from inside out. I can move over to my dad's at any time, and he's a very nice person, and I love him a lot. I don't know what to do! I'm torn between hate and love. Any advice would highly be appreciated. Also, thank you for sharing your stories everyone. Your situations makes me think mine is actually not that bad at all. The good thing is that I have hope. When I finish school, my mum is moving back to Poland, so I can come with her or stay here, and she will be happy. Also, once my sister grows up and starts eating hot means at school, my mum can stop cooking, because she wants us to eat something warm, and for now my sister eats school lunch. The problem is, if she cooks ANYTHING at home, our dad is onto it faster than you can blink. But once my sister grows up, we can all eat warm meals at our school/work, and my dad will be stuffed. So, I feel my situation is actually pretty good, because I have something to look forward to, I have hope. I hope at some point, you will all have hope as well, something to look forward too. Good luck everyone!


I'm really sorry to hear about your situation. But your not alone. My stepdad is evil too but only to me, he's really sly so that no one else can see it and I just sound like I'm starting a fight. I was in a similar situation as you- I didnt want to hurt my mother but couldn't go on living like that. I decided to put up with it, figured I had no place else to go and my mum made me feel really bad for her. I would strongly advice you against this!! I'm older now and realise that as my mother I should have been in her best interests, when I was younger he used to beat me when she was at work and threaten me so I wouldn't tell her. One day my mum found the bruises and went mad she had a go at him but he apologised and she forgave, she repeated to forgive him after he repeated doing it. I always felt like I was a bad daughter for arguing with him and causing fights but as I older now I know that I should have been the one she choose. Please be careful, it's easy for them (mothers) to play the victim so you feel bad and give in, I learnt the hard way that if you don't fight for yourself no one else will. You said It's continued and she's let it, chances are this is pattern that will keep repeating itself unless you do something. If you feel to move out then do, fight for your happiness, but be careful the world can be evil too, make sure you have a well thought out plan, make sure you know what you'll be doing, where you'll be sleeping, eating and how you'll get money. Hope for a better future always helped me get through the days, so don't lose your hope. Xx

Your post is the one that really hit home. I hope you got to a better place.

I am so sorry. I had the same thing, he was very sneaky. He put my sister and I in the worst school district on purpose, lies constantly, causes my mother and I to fight. He basically tricked my mother into mothering him instead of us kids. My advice to you...get away as fast as possible--but have a well-thought plan! I tried to get out without thinking and got into a worse situation. Keep taking care of yourself; he is trying to break you down to brainwash you to self-destruct.

Your not alone! I live in America and my stepdad is the same exact way! He always calls me a ***** and a ***** and a liar. But in truth I'm a straight A student, a virgin, I don't drink or smoke either. When my mom first told me they were getting married I cried and told her that he would ruin our relationship and never have I been more right. Just remember that you aren't alone! This too shall pass.

My stepdad walks all over me. And my mom lets him. After my stepdad start screaming at each other and I go to my room crying my mom will pretty much tell me I was right. But she will never EVER stand up for me in front of him. I told her I hated him before they got married and she promised me she wouldn't marry him. Now look what happened. I don't understand why she can see me so unhappy and not want to help. I hate him. So much.

Tell her ( if you still live with her, I don't know if you grew up) that if she really loved you she'd file for a divorce.

I feel the same when reading those post about the stepfather , but i have a major problem i can't just escape because i'm under child protection.

but the far more worst thing is i have no proof that he is treating me like garbage!

Dear itswilston,
I know what you are going through because I have gone through similar situation. Let me tell you one thing, people like your step father never change. I am not trying to break your heart. I am trying to help you. My step father used to act the same. With time he got bolder. He would mock, insult, humiliate and threaten me before other people including his friends. My mum was as dumb as your mum. Love or whatever that thing is had made her blind. Later he would slap me before people and throw me into prison. at some point he refused to pay my college fee. with time I got so frustrated and I resorted to so much drinking. He waited for me one day when I was so drunk and attacked me with a metal bar. As we speak, I have broken arms and bones.
My advice is, you act like a man and move far away from your step father as possible. It will be difficult living on your own at first but with time you will get used to it. Get the help of a closer relative who can possible give you some place to stay before you can get your own. My step dad has done so much evil to me including chasing my girlfriend away. there is no point of forgiving people who cannot change. Hate is a habit that is so had to break away from. Please I beg you. act sooner or regret later.
Best regards.

wow. thank you. this wasnt my post, but it helped me. i have moved out, and i had to move back in. hes pissed, and my mom doesnt realize i just wanna hang from a tree rather than live in this miserable life. before reading your post, i thought i could have a stable relationship with the man, but now i know i cant. thank you

I totally get you, my stepdad well my moms boyfriend is just SOO horrible he moved into my house when i was around 7, when i was 9 i moved to england with my mom and my big sister and he stayed in this place, we came back like a month ago and i have never felt so horrible about myself. He calls me lazy, no good, stupid. Whenever i eat infront of him he says stuff like you are gonna just get SOOO fat if u keep on eating like a hippo. He says that I am really slow and that I should work out more often. He threatens that I have to go live with my stepmom and dad if i keep on acting horrible to him ( I really dont want to live with them because they live in a tiny house with around 7 people there and my stepmom lectures me as well) No one else gets it tho none of my friends have divorced parents and my stepdad likes my sister way more. Tho he does work alot and supports my mom, sister and I he never realises that hes being hurtful. He talks crap about my dad I know my dad cheated on my mom which is horrible but he just says stuff like i dont see ur dad around and such. And whenever i do ANYTHING wrong BOOM he lectures me for around 20 minutes he usually adds insults and highlights all the bad things about me. He really puts down my confidence