My Evil Step Dad

 i know hate may seem a strong word but in this case i dont think its strong enough. im 16 years old and live in england. my step dad treats me like a **** head i dont understand why when im a good child i get good grades at school dont ever get in trouble im just dont understand why he dont treat me well. ive lost alot of confidence in my self because he puts me down. its like i only do some think small wrong and he goes crazy and starts shouting at me. also when he walks past my bedroom he calls me names. i dont not what i have done. the worst thing about it is that no one else can see it. he acts so nice round my mum my friends and my girlfriend. the other day in fact she was telling me what a nice man he was. also he calls me lazy when i have a paper round job and i habe to wake up a 6.30 in the morning and one time my bike got a puncher an he was moaning when i asked him to take me round in his car :@. he dont even have a job he hasnt work for four years now. he has a heart problem but the doctor said he should go back to work maybe in shopping centre but all does he stay at home getting benefits. its not like we are a rich family in fact my mum stuggles with her money and it would be a great help if he even got a part time job but all he says is i dont wanna lose my benefits i mean come on how lazy can you get he doesnt even do any work at home. some times i cry with the way he treats me he hurts me inside i wonder what ive done wrong. so i plucked up the courage to tell my mum what i think of him so she said she would get rid of him. but they did this thing were it seemed like every think was my fault my mum was crying because she loves him. i called my best friend an he came round and told me that to make my mum happy would to tell her ill give him another chance. i did this every think was ok for a week then he was back to his old ways. i told my mum the other week im goin to move out but she said it would brake her heart to see me go but i cant live with this man any i try to avoid him but my mum insist i have to get along with him. hes also very racist i find that offesive seeing as i hang round with mainly black people an im scared if hes racist infront of them :/. i need help so please if you have any advice tell me thank you. x

itstwilton itstwilton
86 Responses Apr 13, 2009

What you describe is abuse. Someone suggested writing down the awful things he does and that's a good idea. Put it on paper so you don't carry the anger and shame in your heart.
This is what happened to me as a child and how it effected the remainder of my life. Maybe you can take heart in knowing that the abuse you suffer is wrong. I wish that I had spoken up as teen and reached outside my family for understanding, compassion and help. Looking back, my mother was not in a strong enough position to help me. I think that the first step in recovering any sort of normal adult life is owning your truth. Here's mine:
I am 52. My mom married my step-father when I was age ten--over forty years ago. I won't go into the details of his emotional/verbal abuse, the drinking and all the inappropiarate situations that were common place in "his house". ("His house", because he owned it prior to marrying my mom. The fact that her income and labor helped pay for the house, and that her I both lived there, never entered into his equation.) It took a few short years of living under his over-critical, cold shadow to change my personality from a healthy bubbly happy kid to shy withdrawn sickly teen. I missed 4 months of school at age 12. By age 15, I was attempting suicide. After the second attempt, when the parent of a school-friend notified my mother, I was brought to the pedetrician for an examination. He recommend physco-therapy. Dutifully, and in complete stoney silence, my mom drove me 40 minutes to and from the shrink every Tuesday afternoon for two months. (I still don't understand why there was never any mention of family counciling, nor any follow-up with the therapist, nor any attempt, by any adult, to even ask why I felt so worthless and wanted to die. My suicide attempts were a grave source of shame for my mother; therefore, never discussed. One time, 35 years after the fact, when my bio dad died, I attempted to raise the subject with my mom. She became uncharisitically hostile--reinforcing what I insintively knew as a child--that she considered my unhappiness disgraceful.)
Back to my tale of woe. At age 18, I left home. Despite attending private school and coming from an educated, middle class family I did not go college. For some reason I believed that I wasn't smart enough and that my "parents" couldn't afford the expense. Instead, I became involved with a series of abusive and "unavailable" men.
Eventually, I did put myself through school and started a career. But any success came years after distancing myself from the hostile environment that my step-father's presence created.
As the decades rolled on, I like to think that my mom began to relize how her husband's negativity damaged me. I image that her guilt was too much for her verbalize. I rationalize that her strong attachment to my children and involvement her grand childrens' day-to-day lives was a means for her to correct past mistakes. She even saved money and earmarked a fund to cover her my childerns' college education. When my mom died, after 40 years of marriage to this a-hole, her husband, my step-father took all my mom's saving and the inheritance from my grandfather (my mom's dad), and the house she promised to me. He also took control of my kids college funds. She was dead only four months when he began seeking a new partner. Just after his wedding , my step-dad and new
"step-mother", told me to never contact them again. When I try to maintain a relationship with him, because he controls the funds designated to pay my kids college expenses and the inheritance promised by my mom, he and his new wife get on the phone and scream at me and my teenage children.
All I can say is: try to keep a loving relationship with your mother. I know its hard because you probably have resentment for her not protecting you. I forgave my mother in my heart and in conversation multiple times. I told her that, now that I am a mother myself, I realize that she made hard choices the best she could given the circumstances. I told that I didn't fault her for her past choices. I don't think she ever understood what I was trying to communicate. In retrospect, I should have been more direct. But even in this writing, i find the facts and pain of my childhood too much for words.
Don't give up on sharing how you feel about your step-father and never pretend it's "OK", like I did. At some point, your mom will need your strength to leave the cruel relationship. That's where I failed my mom. I stood by, as an adult, while his abuse turned toward her. I should have told her to leave him.

I didnt thought i m gonna join either, but as soon as i came across this page i felt like i should share too. I m in similar situation my whole life (i m a girl) and the problem is with not only one family member, but with whole family. My real dad dint care about me he used to come home and tell my mom to shut me up because he cant watch the tv when i was a newborn, so my mom kicked him out and he never showed up to see me out of caring. Only twice and only cuz he wanted to get some money from my mom. He also drinked a lot, never shared any money he made and also was a complete diva making dramas and even tried ti scare my mom with making suicide and once purposely shot himself into stomach. We all lived in tiny apartment with only two combined rooms. Me, mom, grandmom and grandad. My grandad drinked a lot in my early age too and often acted violently against us. My mon started to date some guy at my age of 8 or smtng and she started drink often too. My grandmom had depression her whole life and holded some weird grudge on the family, she once tried to choke me with a pillow when i was 6 or some, i suppose she just put anger out on me that time, and when she got ill she didnt wanted to live and i had to sit with her , feed her and watch how she slowly dies for couple months, she didnt even talk. It was already bad experience for such young age. Later grandmom died at age 53 only and everything went to bigger ****. My mom met my step dad, first everything was okay he seemed like an intelligent man with high diploma in maths and physics , but then they both started to drink A LOT. They drinked for a week straight, then had around two week brake and after that again a straight week of drinking . They couldnt stop unless the body couldnt take anymore. My granddad stopped drinkig at that time and took care of me for a while, but got ill aswell and soon i just became alone. I needed someone to help me with school etc...i was around 11 years old. Instead...i was bullied at school for not having best clothes,being silent and shy and so on, but worst thing is that my parents , when they drinked they turned into monsters, they became agressive and very violent, specialy step dad, he beated me up every day for no reason whatsoever...sometimes he woke up half sober and being angry and then just came into my room in the middle of the night and just throw me out of bed and kicked me and said my mother should have made an abortion because i m not worth any more than that. There was a lot of violence against me for many years like this. Couple times i got beaten up till bleeding ******* puddles. That was my everyday , bullied at school, then coming home and got beaten at home. I once had enough and after one beating still laying on the floor i screamed at my mom that his a monster (they both where drunk) and i wont stand it much longer. So what she does? She hits me in the face and tells me "If you think i m going to leave him because of such little ****,you are wrong" and spits on is something noone at such young age should experience. When they where sober they used to tell me bad thigs all the time like if they wanted me to brake. Things like "you are stupid, ugly, fat, worthless" and so on and on and selfesteem was below zero. They also hanged all the blames on me. If they broke something, i m blamed. Our cat once got beaten by someone outside and they occused me for many months for that, even thou i m this kind of person who would never do anything like that and i think they knew it but just tried to make me feel guilty on purpose.It continued till age of 17 after that i had a chance to live elsewhere and i took the opportunity. Then my mom kinda realised i m gone and blamed me for being bad daughter and running from such "loving" home and all. I also failed school before that because noone ever helped me and my grades became worse so i didnt finish the school (i did now) then i rant an apartment with my boyfriend and lived in peace for couple years. My mom coded herself against drinking for some time (its like they give you some kind of drug and you feel disgusted by alcohol) then we contacted pretty well for some time, but she started drink again after that med was expired and destroyed all my attachment to her. My step dad never changed,he bacame less physically violent, but not less violent in mouth. He continued to put all sorts of blames on me? Never ever interested about me and talked to me only when he wants to say something bad and still does. All those years i had nightmares every day, i m mentally sick person who cant take control of her life and be happy at age 23, i feel like i will stay like this till the rest of my life now and it will never go completely away, it affects my life and i have depression along with all sorts of other problems. I m trying to have a carrier now and my step is still not supporting any way i said i want to work and earn money in a way that makes me happy like artsy stuff and he said i will never make it and i m doing **** and should just go get a real job. I dont understand this hate towards me, other people like my work and i m very slowly but at least mooving forward, but ofc he has to put me down. Whats more sick is that i never called police or any instances for help because despite all that crap i loved my mom and i didnt wanted to do her harm and i realise now it was a bad thing i did to myself. I should have call them to take responsobility to what they did to me, but i didnt, in fact i tried to make tings better i always gave them botj nice presents for any occasions and always acted nice amd they still dont learn anything and probably never will. I also tried commit suicide many times. The only reason why i m alive is my boyfriend who was taking care of me and sometimes with all my problems i dont feel like he deserves such broken person with mental health problems who gets constantly sad without any reason just because i spend my life surrounded by sadness and violance. Yet i m so thankfull for his help to to just keep me alive. I know this thread is old, but someone will definetely come across it still and my advice would be - dont stay silent, no matter how hard it is to give in your own family, if they betrayed you like that first, dont hestitate! All that happens to you, your surroundings will affect your life in future and trust me you dont want to become a broken person and suffer for the rest of your life cuz some morons made you that way. Dont be afraid! There are people who want to and can help you and they will! You are not alone, i wished i would come across those threads long time ago, but back then i hadnt internet and thought i m truly alone. I too share my story to help you to feel supported and encourage you to move further for your own sake. Even if you completely loose contact with your so called "family" who abused you, dont feel guilty! I regret not leaving them and cutting all contacts it made everything worse, i wanted to move to another country but didnt cuz my mom suddenly started tell me how she will be alone and all and i just god damn stayed witch is a mistake and you should not allow those people who used to abuse you and never even apolagised to mess with your head like they do with mine. Also keep up and try to avoid suicide, i k now that feeling when you feel so empty and want to end your life not because it is a one minute feeling , but when you just feel dead for a long time mentally feel no hapiness ever and being tired of existance, and later its very hard to find an enough reason to keep living and having pleasure in life, but you never know whats up around the corner, be a survivor not a victim and if you ever feel down about this remember you are not alone, we all share same problem here and the best thing we can do is to survive and encourage others to do that aswell. I hope this will help someome. Just please dont stay silent and dont allow people to abuse you no matter what and who!

Cruel step families are so common they feature in fairy tales. Trust your instincts, they are right, the step parent IS being cruel to you. I'm 35 now and have the benefit of hindsight. I can tell you that in my experience the step father never bought me a present or did anything together with me in 25 years he has been with my mother. I moved out, I moved out of the city, to get away from it. But my mother has been in denial the entire time, and believes we just need to be the happy family she dreams of - it hasn't happened now it never will happen.

I will say this to teenagers in this position. In the animal world the cubs of other males are often killed by other males, and I believe this instinct still exists deep down in humans. Yes you are in danger, yes cruelty will make you mentally ill eventually, yes unkindness IS A FORM OF CHILD ABUSE and you need to get away from the situation. Keep a diary of what happens and how it makes you feel, it will empower you and also give you evidence if you can't see a way out and need to tell a responsible adult about the abuse.

My stepdad is kind of the same let me tell u a story or whatever: When I'm at the house with my little brother and sister and he is there when my mom is at work he is all mean for no reason like one time I asked my sister to help me clean our room and he shouts at me and says I'm being a bully, and he got into a fight with me and I said why did u come into my life and he said I didn't I came into ur moms and I was so upset and to top it off he said that I ruin their marriage😕He acts so nice around my mom but when she is gone,all hell breaks out with that dumb *****😒(Sorry for cuss words) and my stepdad and mom started to fight about me and I was talking to her and he thought I was talking about him and he walks in there and he like ur such a little ***** and I'm like what did I do,I even told him to plz not act like my real dad because he is not my blood my real dad is and he said I have to do what he says if I live under his roof...I have not been eating...I haven't ate for 2 and a half days now I'm not hungry because I'm so depressed I told my mom she needs to leave him because he is a devil...he even ruins my moms life she had to call him and tell him she had cancer and he started talking over the phone cussin her out because he was in front of his friends,sound like a real man to u?He has even cheated on her and lied about it and he lies so much,he has the nerve to tell me I'm a liar:(I just don't get it why does this happnen I just want my real dad back my mom said she can't even leave him because she has money struggles also:( he has a fake job at Walmart stocking for like a few hours and he sleeps all day,Could u sleep all day if u just had to work for like 3 hours I can't even sleep for a whole day:(He just needs to leave he has ruined my childhood most of it,and my moms life:( I just feel like laying down and not getting up;(I'm not gonna commit suicide because I'm not to that point of doing that and it says in the bible that it's against it and I'm not that commited to doing it:( I hope u get to feel better too😘I know I'm late but I just wanted to say this

This is actually incredible... I can't believe how many people share such similar experiences. I always realised people have their own issues and demons but after coming across this page asking Google if I should KO my stepdad in a moment of anger, I was amazed at how many people share the same story.

I'm 18 now and I've always had problems with my stepdad. For as long as I can remember. Literally. My father passed away when I was 6 months old so life being hard in Brazil being widowed and with a child and all, my mum moved to England with me and met this angry, hate filled **** with a short man complex when I was about 2 years old. So like I said, for as long as I can remember there's been issues... My mum always told me, "it's the person who raised you that's your true parent." Yeah, if they actually treat you in that manner... My stepdad has never treated me like his own. Thing is, he has 3 other children with my mum but doesn't act like a father should... The only time he's communicating with them, is to tell them off about something stupid like, they haven't made their bed or there's a bag on the floor. I've never seen him hug them. I can't remember the last time he asked them how school was. I've been through all of this and now he's doing it to my younger brothers. Just makes me think he likes being angry. He's small and scrawny... I think for this reason he likes to put other people down a lot. But he can never find good enough reason to. He's sexist, racist, homophobic. It annoys the hell out of me because there's no good reason to act like that and think that way. It makes me uncofortable because I have friends who aren't strait and who are from many different parts of the world with different religions. Luckily, I've never let him meet any of them because I always felt he was gonna say some stupid ****... He had no problem stating his opinions on it around me my mum and brothers so...
I try not to let him **** with me anymore because since the age of 14 I started smoking cannabis. That just made things worse between me and him but what Cannabis did for me was open my mind to new experiences and got me thinking outside our system, so I had various experiences with different psychedelics and learnt a lot about myself and others around me.
He's an extremely jealous man. That's it. I know this. I've known this for ages now. And I see it. As it happens.
Whenever I had my girlfriend over and she stayed the night, he would complain to my mum. My mum would raise the issue with me at some other point in time and tell me that when he was younger, his parent never let him have girls over. He's jealous of the time I spend with my girlfriend.
He constantly complains about money, even though he has money. He has a bunch of crap that he hordes in our garage that's worth money, and complains he doesn't have enough. He ignores the true riches in life. He's got a wife and he's got 3 children but ignores that and puts everyone else down. He's jealous of the world. He's sour. On days that I allow myself to think deeply into my situation and how he acts around the house, around me, my brothers and my mum, I think, "what can I do to stop this?" So
I think, he complains about money and me being lazy and not working... Okay, I'll get a job. I got myself a job. I put some food in the house, I buy everyday **** to use like, toothpaste, shampoo, food for our dogs. Nope, he still acts like a ****. So I think again. He hates the fact I smoke cannabis on a regular... Okay, I'll cut down. So I cut down smoking cannabis. Nope, he's still a dickhead. I'm cautious about everything I do and I try to think whatever I'm going to do, how that can affect everything else. So I don't let me brothers in my room when I've got real dank **** in there. I don't let them see me smoke. I try not to influence them in the wrong way and be responsible. But my stepdad couldn't see that. My brothers found out I smoke cannabis, because my stepdad made a huge scene in front of them telling them about it and how I'm a bad person for doing it, that I'm lazy and good for nothing. He threatens to call the police a lot. I can never remember why. Just goes to show it's always about something stupid and unnessasary.
For a long time this **** gets me so angry that I still haven't figured out how to make peace. I've tried talking to my mum, doesn't work... Tried to respect his views, he's still a ****. I'm at the point of swinging a bat to his throat the next time he start shouting at my brothers for stupid reasons. But that would be bad for me and many others. I could just knock him out, put him outside without keys, but he'd probably get the police and snitch on me for having a bit of weed. That's just the type of person he is though...

But thanks to pages like this we can all share thoughts, ideas, solutions if possible. We're all going through similar struggles. This pages shows that we don't have to face them alone. However hard they may be. I've been putting up with this **** head for 18 years. It hasn't been easy but the more you learn about yourself and the one who's bothering you, it will stay just as hard as it's always been... Pay more attention to the little detail in life. Figure out what makes you tick. That way there's less of a chance he'll get to you. This make it easier to study what makes him tick ;) then you know that you can just as easily **** with him. He wants to **** with you? **** him back with a cherry on top.

I found out my stepdad had also been smoking cannabis. I had suspected it from the way he acted sometimes and the trade mark stoner red-eye... So one day trying to find a pencil, I smell cannabis in my parent room. I his draw I found a cigarette box with to baggies of weed and a joint rolled up. I new it wasn't mine, I don't use bleached papers, and I wouldn't hide my weed in my parents room. There's no way my mum smokes weed, I would know or at least suspect it if she was. So I new it was definitely his. Remember what I was saying about finding out what makes him tick? And if he ***** with you, you have the right if you choose to do so the same to him?
Yeah, I nicked his stash, and I smoke it! xD every time I found weed in any part of the house other than my room, I knew it wasn't mine, but I knew who's it was and I nick them... He thinks he's being smart and sly. But I'm on to the ****** and I don't let him **** with me. Neither should any of you. Stay strong! I know this was a ******* rant and a half but, the more experience and knowledge on how to handle certain situations that we give each other, the easier it will be to deal with issues in life, stepdad related or not.
✌🏻️ Live life to the fullest.

hard for me to really answer as i have the same problem. However, I will do my best. It seems he is jealous of you from what i am hearing. Do you help your mom with money? The reason I'm asking is because if he is unemployed and unable to pay bills and you are helping your mom then your mom may be praising you to him. If she is praising you around him then he may be getting jealous and it may not even have anything to do with but with himself. He is probably feeling inadequate. I have to say though I wonder if he is acting the way he does because he is racist and you have black friends.. that too could be a possibility. At 16 years old you should not be going through this... as it can affect school and more like your mind. You need to seek help from either a family member or ask your mom (if you trust her) to monitor him more closely so that she can see the abuse. If none of the above work you may want to move into the home of a family member or contact social services if you are afraid for your life. If social services finds your stepfather abusive then they will tell your mother she either has to leave him or they will place you in a different home. All of these options are hard but you need to think about your own well being. I hope that things look up for you soon .... :-)

I can't quite relate to your story. But I do understand the feeling of hating your stepdad. My stepdad is a committed sex offender and I hate his guts. I am almost 16 about the same age as the girl he had tried to, you know do that thing to. It freaks me out and I always feel really uncomfortable and take a bath or when im in my swimsuit around him. He makes my mom cry sometimes because she loves my sisters even though I'm the only one she fought for custody for. He hates them though for no reason the only one I can think of is because they don't like what he has done in the past and that their little sister is living with him. Sometimes I just wish that my mom had never met anyone. I just wish he was gone.

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I just joined and its funny because that wasn't my intention. I ran across your story and I decided to join. This is my very first time hearing about this site. I wasn't aware of sites like these being out here. I can relate to your story because its also my story. I felt I was the only person experiencing this. I knew others hurt too and have been through things but your story really hit me. The part where you say how you see it but no one else does because he pretends to be this nice guy and your Mother. I've been through hell with my Mother's husband shocking stories the nightmares at night and if he had it his way i wouldn't be alive but you see he doesn't have that power God sees everything and i cried so many days and nights then i had a breakdown I reached the lowest I never experienced before I was ready to commit suicide and I even drew the knife to. My mother had to hold me down I figured if I couldn't remove myself out of this physically i would kill myself. I attempted it almost daily. I didn't eat I became really thin. I cried every day for about two weeks iv'e over came it for the most part but the trauma is still there the anger and i'm still bitter He never apologized the proper way. I never told anyone i hate them but i meant every letter when i told him. I will overcome this and so will you. You are incredible and that takes courage to open up and share your story. And Iv'e opened up too thank you for inspiring me to. Your value is not determined by your stepfather its determined by God and yourself you are a beautiful creation on this earth to do spectacular things thank you for lighting a light in my dark areas. It wasn't only my Mothers husband it was my brother too. I defeated the demons and I got the victory and so do you. I will soon be registering for college I made it. I may have been wounded but I made it through the battle and so have you. You hold your head high. You are stronger than you know and I don't for religion on people but you belong to God there's nothing Satan can do because you've already won and Thank you for sharing your story. Stay Blessed.

I guess most step dads are just big jerks most of the time, I've never been beaten or anything but my mom is stubborn and she always comes running after him even when he curses at me and my mother. Hes pretty messed up he gets drunk every weekend and when he isn't drunk her never says anything and hes quiet and polite but when hes drunk he acts like a fool curing me out in my face threatening me and my family members. I can't stand him (he talks the most crap around his buddies and family, but when hes alone hes quiet ). Hes a sadman quiet frankly and I hope I never meet someone as annoying and evil as him. as soon as I graduate and have a decent job I'm so flipping out of this house. Good rittens.

I see how you feel. My step dad has been married to my mom for about 5 years I think and he treats me like an a**. Earlier today I went in the kitchen to help my mom cook and he started yelling at me and telling me that my mom didn't need help. Of course she agrees to him. She always does. They fight a lot and he has moved out 3 times in the past year. He calls me names. One time him and my mom were fighting and my step brother pushed me into the washer and dryer and I went to tell my mom he told me to shut up you c**t and I told him no I don't have to listen to you. He came after me trying to hit me. He complains that I'm the messiest person in the house but my room is always clean and my stuff is always neat. Honestly my two step brothers are the messiest. When he goes to the store to get drinks and asks everyone what they want I tell him what I want, he either doesn't get me anything, gets me something I don't like, or gets me what I want but gives it to my brothers bc I've been "bad". He calls me fat and says I'm the one that eats everything in the kitchen but I don't I barely eat at all. Trying to overcome my ANOREXIA so I don't eat a lot. I used to cut because how bad he treats me but I've stopped. I usually always stay in my room trying to avoid him. I've asked to move out and I do ask about 5 times a month to live with my grandma. But she says no. When I tell her that I don't like him she says I'll think about a divorce but never does. I hate him. I am only a 13 year old girl and I hate my life being treated like a piece of sh*t.

My stepfather was very nasasistic, he played his plan to kick me and brother out of home by the age I was 15 and my brother 14, he would daily threaten me with how he will punch my head inn and how superior he was because he wasn't mixed race in the end he swing a punch at me and I swing back and won that fight I was kicked out because he had been planing it ( you may have won the battle but not the war) I was dealing with a weirdo who enjoyed playing mind games and lying..end the end years later I tricked him and exposed him to the mother as what king of scum bag he is, it took a while but as soon as I seen the opportunity I set him up and finally caused a divorce between him and my mother ousting him forever..I told him I set him up strange enough I was proud but even in victory there are always be scares, seeing the way he and the old lady argued and fought occasionally the mind games the drama the threats the racist taunts it wasn't easy but now as a adult I'm doing better then him he reign of terroir has ended

I had a step dad like that he abused my mother and hit my brother I waited till I grew up till I was strong enough to defend my mother and brother until one night I heard shouting downstairs. I tried shutting it out but I felt anger and rage inside and thought this bastard needs a lesson so I opened my bedroom door walked downstairs and knocked the **** out of my dad and called him everything in the book. My mom was slumped crying on the floor before pulling me off him. My little brother of course out of curiosity walks down stairs to meet the state all of us where. He then hugged my mom and then I got on my knees and whispered to him and said "I'm making a stand to you *** hole hope you learned a lesson then I pushed him out of the door and locked it. He comes back now and then asking for forgiveness shouting through the letter box but I tell my mom not to listen I'm sixteen and made a stand. So should you

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You have to stay strong, he is your dad, go and talk to him if why is he like that to you:( I feel so sorry for you when I read your story but stay strong sis :) if you need help please add me on facebook, Faimafiliosamoa Utuva Tupu, I will always help you :)

I'm 15 and my stepdad always goes around the house mumbling and getting mad about everything. My room is relatively clean, my things are not everywhere, the only bad thing is my grades which he doesn't care about, and which aren't even that bad, I got two D's last year that's it. I have a boyfriend in the next town over who always wants to see me so he and my mom have to drive me 45 minutes to go see him but idk why that's so much to ask I mean he is home most of the day, I work more than he does,use my own money for things, etc so idk why a 45 trip is so bad especiay cause I help out a lot.

I know how it feels. I'm 15 and my step dad is a c**t to me. I am dyslexic and he finds in funny that I struggle with my writing and reading and he feels it is right to make fun of me rather than help me. He has been married to my mum for about 10 years in October and he has never tried to make an effort for me. I am also overweight sometimes if I go into the kitchen to make my lunch he will call me a pig or another name and he has always put my self-confidence down. When my Mum is working or away out I just like to sit in my room because if I sit with him in the living room something will always kick off with it somehow being my fault. Even sometimes when I am just in my room he will come in and seem to make up an issue like if I have forgot to make my bed or something. I talked to my mum about this and she doesn't think it is that bad but when I am anywhere near him it makes me mad. Too the point where multiple times I have moved into my aunties (I don't have any other close family my auntie is the only other family I have). When I am at my aunties I am a lot calmer and tend to do better in my school work. My step dad also has 2 other children which he had with my mum one who is 5 and the other 3. He treats them 10 times better than me. Sometimes if he is out to the shop and he will get them a drink or a sweet I'll ask him "Did you get me something?" and he will reply with "No, I didn't because you don't need anything more fatty!" which really puts me down. At the age of 13 my mum decided to take me to a therapist because I was felling so depressed with my life and how I was treated. We talked for a few months and he basically sad he thinks my depression was because of my step dad so he suggested we should try Family therapy but my step dad refused to come and that was the last time I spoke to my therapist. So now I don't know what to do continue living with my auntie or go home. I miss my mum, brothers and sisters so much back home but I don't want to be there if my step dad is. So yeah that's my story.

I feel you man. My stepdad is a d**k. I cant stand him. He treats me like s**t anf gives my little sister all the love in the world only because she is actually his child. I love my mom and my sister but I cant stand my stepdad. My mom never used to drink before she met him, now she is an alcoholic. He works and pays bills, and i respect that. But he calls me worthless, lazy, and disrespectful. He is the disrespectful one, he talks aboutf***ing my mom in front of me. My life isnt the greatest anyways, and its tough coming home from a bad day at school and having your d bag stepdad call you worthless. I have honestly contemplated suicide, but then i remember about all of my friends and family that i care about and that care about me. My stepdad can call me useless all he wants, but i know that im not, and you should too. Just completely ignore him if that is what it takes.

I'm really sorry about that, I hope you're doing better now. My mom remarried when I was 4, but my stepdad didn't move in until the fourth grade when I was like nine. I remember trying to commit suicide so many times and cutting myself too because that's how depressing my life was with him. My stepdad's a nice person overall, and he treats my mom well so it's not like I can be like "hey you jerk, get out of my life" or anything like that. And everything I believed in was aparently wrong in his eyes, and he grew up being the oldest child out of five so he's bossy and narrowminded. I can be really sarcastic when I'm mad, and he can be controlling so I guess our relationship never really worked out.
I hope you didn't move out or anything like that because I mean not that I don't have faith in you, but life just gets harder when you're on your own. Try ignoring your dad. Suck in everything mean he tells you and just hope that you'll one day get a high paying job (or if you're still in high school like me, get a scholarship far far away from where you live) :)
And I know how much his words can get to you, and I understand how unfair and frustrating it is, but don't do anything rash like cut yourself or anything as stupid. Because in my case, the scars don't go away. Not now, not ever.
Sincerely yours truly,

I can relate, my parents got divorced when I was 11 and my mom married him (step-father) when I was 13. She kept the relationship secret for a while until we saw some flowers on the table one day (only flowers she gotten shes told me). It was less then a year after my parents split, and it was another year until she had me and my sister meet him. I didn't understand why she was dating him because I just didn't see his appeal, he was southern like hick almost, and he seemed a lot older and like a lot older. Turns out, he was the man I saw briefly when I was 11 after church camp one year. My mom had driven us to a house somewhat near our camp to visit a "friend." I just remember a elderly couple and my mom running out of the car to hug the elderly man. It turns out that the "elderly couple" I had seen was him and his mother. When they we just dating I just figured it wouldn't last long but not too much longer later he proposed, I remember being so depressed they day. After they were married I started experiencing anger issues because I didn't like his alpha-male mentality. He grew up in a household where men were dominant. He had this ego where he thought he could do no wrong and that he always thought he was right, it drove me mad. One of the first things he ever said to me was "Now your just a kid, you don't know much, but if you listen to me you'll be smart like me one day." (add heavy southern accent) Now this is the same man that around the same time he told me this, he told my younger sister to walk around with a bag on her head to see what its like to be blind, and her being so young, did it and fell down the stairs. I don't mean to be mean but he isn't the brightest man, he's pretty ignorant. Simple minded I'd say. He's done some good things though, like saving my cat, paying for stuff he didn't have to like my car insurance (I never asked him to and feel bad that he does since I don't like him, but he insists), etc. And his family is also real nice. But the bad out-weights the good a majority of the time. My mom feels stuck in the marriage a lot of the times. He drinks heavily, and has trouble keeping a steady job. The only job he's had awhile is at Wal-Mart. He's so proud of that job and acts like it earns more then my mom's substitute teaching job which she went to college for, and he is just a stock person during the graveyard shift. He lied to her about making over 30,000 a year with it. It's like stuff like that, that drives me insane about him. Like why lie about something like that? He also has hit my sister in the past. She was 12 and wouldn't tell us where she was. He had been drinking, and he took me and my mom in his truck to look for her. We found my sister at her friends house. He trespassed into that friends house and physically removed her from the building kicking and screaming dragging her outside down the brick steps, when he had her in the front yard he told my mother to hit her and they both started hitting her repeatedly (my mom always follows directions by anyone, my grandmother raised her like that, she wouldn't have done it otherwise). I was standing in my sisters friends living room and her mother called the police along with some neighbors. My sister later told me that when she was alone in the truck with him he smacked her in the face and said something like "can't do anything now can you?" and laughed. He wasn't charged with anything but we lived with our grandmother for a week. His drinking was always a problem. That was the only incident that was real bad. I was a terrible kid after they were married and I feel bad about some things I've done/said to him but he didn't exactly make it easy. I did lock him in the garage at 17 when he was drinking and he knocked the door down threatening to kick me out of the house. I don't blame my mom because she is just a genuinely sweet lady and he put on a mask when they were dating, and she can be easily manipulated and gullible at times. She regrets it now, it took it like 3-5 years for it to start to fail. They go through cycles. It's hard for me and my sister to watch. It's been 10 years almost and I have no clue how I've lived with him that long. His habits like hanging the hand towel on the back of the door drive me crazy on a daily basis. I'm moving out with my boyfriend later this year and it just can't come soon enough. I live in my mom's house in a 2 bedroom home, with 4 people living here, my mom, sister, me, and him. My bed is in the living room, and he wakes me up almost every morning being loud in the kitchen, talking to my mother, or saying goodbye to his dog that is on the couch 5 feet away from me! I don't like that he thinks its okay to be that close to me when I am asleep, I mean he's not a blood relative, he's a random guy my mom dated twice when she was 20 and re-dated/married after my parents split. Which makes it creeper. Thank god I'm getting out of this soon. Wish all of you guys luck!

I'm sorry for your situation. Sometimes our mothers can betray us with who they choose to show more of their love to. Sometimes I feel I shouldn't talk bad about my stepdad because my biological father is much worse, but then I see how she works herself to the bone...even giving her meals to him when he says he's hungry, gives him her money, sleeps on the couch when he wants the bed to himself. He works when she has the courage to complain but most of the time isn't. I do what I can but it's hard when she doesn't want me around most of the time. Life's hard but all we can do is be better than they are. All I can say is I've sworn off of marriage till the day I die.

I know how you feel. Only this time it is my biological father. My mother does not even want me going to the store because he has kidnapped me before and he could do it again. Not to mention that he has a shotgun, possible black market. He has tried to use his shotgun on my mother. I only fear that he will hurt my mother or my brother. So i really know how you feel and then some. The best thing to do is to have a strong education, move out, get a high paying job based on your choice, invite your mother to live with you, and then forget about him. It did not work for me because i am still a kid but i will never give up on my future. (Yes my mom considers being 15 a kid). I am glad my bio does not live with me but he knows where i live.

I think that all the people who are thinking of moving out should move in together. We could share stories and support each other because no one int eh same situation can ever understand me. If only it was possible

maybe try to tell the school or the police. your mother should love you enough to leave this cruel man. my stepfather abused us for years. he also beat my mother. now my back is crooked from working as a young teenager. because I had to pay for my own school fees and clothing. He also broke my nose. He is dead now. but I am sure he went to Hell. I have a hard life now. no education. hardly any money to raise my kids. I am a single parent now. but hate my mother and stepfather to this day for putting me through such a cruel childhood. I was in foster care for about 2 years for neglect. They should have never got me out.

Well Jesus did say that it were better for a man that hurts children to cast a milestone around his neck and throw it in the sea. So yes, that man is in hell.

He sounds cruel. I had a step dad like that. he worked but was cruel. My mom of course loved him. they both are dead now old age. but they gave all the inheritance to my stepfather's child. she is my half sister. they left me with nothing. I am poor and my sister is rich. she inherited large sums of money. I would try to plead with your mom to leave him.

Put foot down. Tell him that the day he gets off lazy *** 2 help pay bills or clean house is day he can start treating u like old donkey. Say if he doesn't like it, there's always door he can use 2 kick himself out. Them add another insult. Like "oh that's right, you can't walk out the door. If u do, you'll be out on streets like useless beggars." He won't bother u no more. He probably won't have none enough courage 2 even look u in eyes. If it keeps going on, talk 2 máma. Tell her, either he leaves or u leave. In my country, there is saying "if u luv something, set it free. And if it comes back, set it 2 flames." If u tell her that, she'll know what needs 2 be done. Ur stepfather is a chilito, pinche pendeja, puto, panzón who apedrears. U and ur máma deserve better. Good luck. And if any questions, message me. :)

My stepdad is a ******* ******* too! He makes my mom cry and i always ask her why she married him and i dont even think she even knows. I get great grades (all A's) and I behave well, but that ****** still likes his own dumbass children better than me! my step sister is 19, dropped out of college and is in hair school! she's a ******* weed head and hates my mom! i hate living with him i just want to leave so badly but im only 14. i think i may ask to live with my gma. today my mom was trying to clean the ******* house but my stepdad's **** was everywhere (he's a ******* 40 year old DJ.... ******* idiot!) and she moved his speakers in the already ****** up basement and he threw all of our **** in the basement outside! he has anger issues and im afraid he's going to put his hands on my mother. im sure he hates me too. he is very childish and anytime my mom wants to talk things out he acts like a kid and puts his hands over his ears. maybe you could call the police. make sure u and ur mom are away from him and call the ******* police!! im serious! if my stepdad threatens my mom im gonna call the police. anyone who already has an abusive stepdad should do so too! STEPDAD'S ARE ****! PS im a girl :P

U r the girl version of my stepdad is a racist as well..cept mines does work but likes to get all the credit to himself..he complains saying how America is full of b****s and h**s and all the profanity words u can think of..he has hurt my mom my little sister and I..broken promises and lies about him getting hitched with my mom..emotional abuse as well as disrespect..he wants no happiness for no one..all eyes on his royal highness we must say good mornin or else he wud be cranky..ask his permission for anything...he needs to kno absolutely everything what's goin on in our lives..I wudve moved out but I made a bet with myself I won't leave the house till he is gone..he had told my mom that I wud be the first to leave with the first assh** that runs into me..Im a bit hardheaded myself but I won't let him don't let ur stepdad day u will be older enough to Stand on ur own 2 feet and defend ur mom and urself..don't let ur stepdad overwhelm u..I kno our stepdads are words can't even describe what they are..but I assure u once u graduate school find a Part time job and continue school..don't let him win u have to win no Matter what and be thinking 2 steps ahead of them..times will be like hell and I also cry but i have a goal and my goal is to move my sister and mom ahead in life so Im not gonna make some loser that isn't my blood make me feel inferior or that im trash or an unblessed don't make that loser that u call a stepdad make u feel like ur nothing..u r something and for u to share ur story made me feel I'm not the only one goin thru make a goal to help ur mom move ahead and give her a better that one day u can tell that loser to kiss ur *** and have a nice day..

Good luck and hope things turn out the best for u..:)

Well try confronting him in front of your mom maybe spill all your feelings and say he is making you feeling uncomfortable and worthless ( which I think as you explained you are ) and you think that if she cared about you she would do this for you. If that doesn't work try the " I'm a victim " look with a pouty face.

Hey man my stepdad is such an ***. He comes home and does nothing but yell and scream. He beats the living **** out of my dog and my siblings and I but my mom ignores it, and when it tell her about it, she acts like its the first she's heard of it! He talks so much shi about my dad even though its all lies, probably just mad because my dad smashed mg mom first. I know he's jealous one day I get home and tell him stop hitting my dog and he puts me down literally saying things like, no one likes you, you ain't got no friends, no girls want your ugly ***, your dad is a stupid mother ****** you look just like him. Every day I think of killing him. I've got tons of ways set out, all of them guaranteed not to get me caught. What's holding me back? I don't know but something better change I can't continue to live in a house where I hate the people in it and live I'm fear every single day.

I know exactly how you feel. My stepdad is bipolar and when he's home he always has to be a smart *** to me. We can't have a normal conversation without him saying something that makes me wanna talk back. He always complains about me, and will never shut up. He always finds something to criticize me in. He says he's trying to be a father figure, but that's a damn lie, he's awful, mean, and only treats me bad, not his kids. In reality my only father figure has been my grandpa, but he's currently dying of cancer. So right now my life is really tough, I'm failing math, I'm sad about my grandpa, and I have to put up with my awful stepfather. I haven't talked to my dad in years, he left me when I was little so I wish he was the one dying of cancer. No one can understand how much I HATEE My Dad. Goodluck to all of you with awful stepdads as well

Same situation here. My dad left me because he was a philandering *** hole. He hasn't been supporting my sister and me. I've been living with my mom and step dad for only 2 years. I never have a father figure because my grandparents disowned my mom and never really have family member can talk with. Most of all, I hate my father and my step father. They hurt my mom so much and I just don't know what to do. I am scarred for life because of the situation I'm in right now. My step father threaten me to kick me out of the house and he told my mom that I tried to destroy his marriage. She verbally abuse my mom and my mom just mope around and does nothing about it. I don't know what to do. I feel like dying so my mom can financially just worry about my sister and herself. So I am scarred for life and I promised myself not to get marry and have children. Life is just depressing right now. I was only 4 when my father left my mom and only 16 now.

You really shouldn't promise yourself to not marry or have children the thing that's good about you is you'd never do that to your wife or kids. Try to get your mom to get a divorce and tell her he's ruining you and your sisters lives, making you depressed and not want to see the wonder of having children! Also try and get a job and get your sister a job ( depending On Her age ).

I'm so sorry and I feel you. My grandpa just died of cancer and he was my only father figure, but now that he's gone, I have no father figure anymore. My stepdad is a total ****. My grandpa was the only person that was a father to me

You know, I am 12, and my step dad hates me too. He beats me. He says I won't ever succeed in life because I am a girl. He thinks that all girls are Stupid. I get good grades. I just dont know why he hates me. Lucky for you, your mom cares about you. Every night when I walk through the door as soon as I get home from school, all I hear is threats from him like," You are a dumb*ss. You will never get a job.", or "Your children will hate you someday." Or "I will beat the living sh*t out of you until you bleed.". When my dad was a kid, his dad would beat him until he was "bloody to the mouth." He even has a scar of when his dad took a metal pole to his face. Now, he brings out all that anger on me. If it gets to the point where you're being beaten, move out. At least you can. I am still 12, so I can't move out yet. Don't sass your stepdad back, though. Because I sassed my dad once, I got a painful beating.
Four major words of advice:
1: If the emotional abuse turns into physical abuse, move out. Trust me on this one.
2: Keep your head down low. Don't cause any mayhem or attitude until you're sure you can move out.
3: Get by with what you need to get by with. I have a secret food stash in my room, so when my parents tell me no dinner or food that day, I still have something to eat at least.
4: This is the most important piece of advice: BE PREPARED. There might be a day where you just had enough. You might "set off a bomb" and get everyone emotional. If this happens, be prepared for anything. Like, moving out.
Well, hope you get good ideas out of my advice. Good luck with your step-dad.

Wait! I forgot:
5: this is the MOST IMPORTANT piece of advice. Please don't let your mean step-dad get in the way of you succeeding at school. If your dad says you're dumb, don't listen to him. A good quote: "If you dream it, you can do it." The quote means that you can do anything you want with your life. Don't let your dad grind down your self-esteem (or your grades). You can do anything that you set your mind to. Remember that.

Try alerting the authorities NeonPulse tell them they hurt you and sometimes do t give you dinner. I think you should tell someone quick before it gets to serious

Neonpulse, I agree with Helperperson. You should alert authorities AS SOON AS POSSIBLE! Shame on your mom for not protecting you! This ***** has no right to put his hands on you and no giving you dinner??! What the hell is up with that? What you're describing is a clear and SEVERE case of child abuse. You have to report them. Do it for you and all the other children who are abused out there and are too scared to speak up. You come across as an outgoing and extremely intelligent person. It's clear to me that you will be a very successful person in the future but the longer you stay there, the more in danger you will become. I know you're only 12 and are probably scared about what will happen in you report them but if your father beats you and it leaves any scars on your body, go report it to a teacher at school. Go to an adult you trust and they will help you. It broke my heart to read your entry. I wish you well and keep your head up. You are AWESOME!!!! Hug!

I totally feel for ALL of you guys. My stepdad is an ******* as well. I come from Poland but live in Cambridge, England with my mum, 4 (nearly 5) year old sister (who is my stepdad's biological daughter). He gets angry whenever I do ANYTHING wrong. You see, I'm clumsy. VERY clumsy. I probably smashed more things in the house than our whole family put together, and I trip up more often and more unfortunately than Johnny Depp as Jack Sparrow. Also, I often need guidance on how to do things, and I'm NOT very independent when it comes to things like that. This means my stepdad gets a lot of opprutunities to put me down. A good example is when I was once ill or it was the school holiday, and I was at home with my dad and sister (my mum works during the day). He told me to make cereal for my sister, and I accidentally poured in too much milk. He gave me an exasperated sigh and told me it was too much, so I poured out some and showed it to him. This time, he just took the bowl from me and made the cereal himself, all the time saying how I can't even make cereal and stuff. That is another thing I hate about him. His responses. You know how you shouldn't treat your parents as your friends? Well, that's exactly what HE does to ME. Recently, it snowed here, and my grandma and aunt came over from Poland for holiday, so I decided to chuck a snowball at them as they got out of the car (they were at Primark, I came back from school and was waiting for them outside our house). At the last second, I thought hitting THEM might not be such a good idea, so I let the snowball fly early and hit the window. My dad's response was something along the lines of "What the hell?! And you dumb or something?!". And that's not ever the worse of it. Often, he swears at me, and puts me down all the time. Seriously, whenever I try to help with something, he puts me down. Another example here - one time, my sister was naughty, and got shouted at by my mum, so she went upstairs. I calmed her down, and told her i'll help her do downstairs and apologize. We went down but she didn't speak, so I started to talk to her, trying to get her to say it(you know, things like "You know what you wanted to say? Come on."), but before I could say a word, my stepdad is all like "Shut up" and "She doesn't need lawyers" and "Go work on yourself, not on her. Get on with your own business", and he NEVER says anything nice to me out of his own accord. Even when my progress check is very good, or I write a good essay, he never says anything by himself - he only compliments me if I ask him "Do you think this is good?". But the WORST thing of all is who he treats my mum. Every time they get into an argument, he will swear at her, and abuse her, saying things like "You are ****** up", implying that something's wrong with her brain. Also, he absolutely NEVER helps her with anything. And I mean, NOTHING. My mum needs to make the dinner, wash up, everything. If something's not done, that lazy ******* won't even bother to do it. Another prime example here - my sister recently started going to reception. My mum needs to take care of EVERYTHING - make her lunch, do the homework with her, ever ready her clothes. Seriously! Once, my mum forgot to ready her school clothes for my dad to put on her, and guess what? That lazy ***** didn't bother taking her to school! Also, another incident - he once actually didn't take her to school because he OVERSLEPT! And the worst thing is, this all has an impact on my sister. Her attendance is getting progressively worse - my mum has been phoned my the school because of it. Seriously, this is the worst thing of all. His laziness. All he does is what he wants, gets on with HIS hobbies, and things about himself and himself only. I bet you, if my mum didn't cook dinner, and there was only a little left, he would first give some to my sister, then to HIMSELF, and only then to me. And if there was not enough by that time, well, tough luck for me. This is another matter. His favourising. He favourizes my little sister A LOT. I mean, I know my sister is his biological daughter, so I guess he might love her a TEENY bit more, but his favourism is over the top. In most matters, when there's an argument between me and my sister, he will come running and support her. And my sister is VERY bossy. She often tells me to do stuff, and gets angry when I don't. When I answer back, she starts crying, and her crying is like an alarm to my dad. But things and not so bad as I thought. At least my mum is not like the mothers of many here. She actually supports me, and often fights for me when my dad starts to abuse me - she often has arguments with him because of me. I wish I could move out, but I don't want to leave her, and also, I don't want to leave my school here, because it's an amazing school and I have friends in this school. The worst thing is that I actually have a choice, which is killing me from inside out. I can move over to my dad's at any time, and he's a very nice person, and I love him a lot. I don't know what to do! I'm torn between hate and love. Any advice would highly be appreciated. Also, thank you for sharing your stories everyone. Your situations makes me think mine is actually not that bad at all. The good thing is that I have hope. When I finish school, my mum is moving back to Poland, so I can come with her or stay here, and she will be happy. Also, once my sister grows up and starts eating hot means at school, my mum can stop cooking, because she wants us to eat something warm, and for now my sister eats school lunch. The problem is, if she cooks ANYTHING at home, our dad is onto it faster than you can blink. But once my sister grows up, we can all eat warm meals at our school/work, and my dad will be stuffed. So, I feel my situation is actually pretty good, because I have something to look forward to, I have hope. I hope at some point, you will all have hope as well, something to look forward too. Good luck everyone!


I'm really sorry to hear about your situation. But your not alone. My stepdad is evil too but only to me, he's really sly so that no one else can see it and I just sound like I'm starting a fight. I was in a similar situation as you- I didnt want to hurt my mother but couldn't go on living like that. I decided to put up with it, figured I had no place else to go and my mum made me feel really bad for her. I would strongly advice you against this!! I'm older now and realise that as my mother I should have been in her best interests, when I was younger he used to beat me when she was at work and threaten me so I wouldn't tell her. One day my mum found the bruises and went mad she had a go at him but he apologised and she forgave, she repeated to forgive him after he repeated doing it. I always felt like I was a bad daughter for arguing with him and causing fights but as I older now I know that I should have been the one she choose. Please be careful, it's easy for them (mothers) to play the victim so you feel bad and give in, I learnt the hard way that if you don't fight for yourself no one else will. You said It's continued and she's let it, chances are this is pattern that will keep repeating itself unless you do something. If you feel to move out then do, fight for your happiness, but be careful the world can be evil too, make sure you have a well thought out plan, make sure you know what you'll be doing, where you'll be sleeping, eating and how you'll get money. Hope for a better future always helped me get through the days, so don't lose your hope. Xx

Your post is the one that really hit home. I hope you got to a better place.

I am so sorry. I had the same thing, he was very sneaky. He put my sister and I in the worst school district on purpose, lies constantly, causes my mother and I to fight. He basically tricked my mother into mothering him instead of us kids. My advice to you...get away as fast as possible--but have a well-thought plan! I tried to get out without thinking and got into a worse situation. Keep taking care of yourself; he is trying to break you down to brainwash you to self-destruct.

Your not alone! I live in America and my stepdad is the same exact way! He always calls me a ***** and a ***** and a liar. But in truth I'm a straight A student, a virgin, I don't drink or smoke either. When my mom first told me they were getting married I cried and told her that he would ruin our relationship and never have I been more right. Just remember that you aren't alone! This too shall pass.

My stepdad walks all over me. And my mom lets him. After my stepdad start screaming at each other and I go to my room crying my mom will pretty much tell me I was right. But she will never EVER stand up for me in front of him. I told her I hated him before they got married and she promised me she wouldn't marry him. Now look what happened. I don't understand why she can see me so unhappy and not want to help. I hate him. So much.

Tell her ( if you still live with her, I don't know if you grew up) that if she really loved you she'd file for a divorce.

I feel the same when reading those post about the stepfather , but i have a major problem i can't just escape because i'm under child protection.

but the far more worst thing is i have no proof that he is treating me like garbage!

Dear itswilston,
I know what you are going through because I have gone through similar situation. Let me tell you one thing, people like your step father never change. I am not trying to break your heart. I am trying to help you. My step father used to act the same. With time he got bolder. He would mock, insult, humiliate and threaten me before other people including his friends. My mum was as dumb as your mum. Love or whatever that thing is had made her blind. Later he would slap me before people and throw me into prison. at some point he refused to pay my college fee. with time I got so frustrated and I resorted to so much drinking. He waited for me one day when I was so drunk and attacked me with a metal bar. As we speak, I have broken arms and bones.
My advice is, you act like a man and move far away from your step father as possible. It will be difficult living on your own at first but with time you will get used to it. Get the help of a closer relative who can possible give you some place to stay before you can get your own. My step dad has done so much evil to me including chasing my girlfriend away. there is no point of forgiving people who cannot change. Hate is a habit that is so had to break away from. Please I beg you. act sooner or regret later.
Best regards.

wow. thank you. this wasnt my post, but it helped me. i have moved out, and i had to move back in. hes pissed, and my mom doesnt realize i just wanna hang from a tree rather than live in this miserable life. before reading your post, i thought i could have a stable relationship with the man, but now i know i cant. thank you

I totally get you, my stepdad well my moms boyfriend is just SOO horrible he moved into my house when i was around 7, when i was 9 i moved to england with my mom and my big sister and he stayed in this place, we came back like a month ago and i have never felt so horrible about myself. He calls me lazy, no good, stupid. Whenever i eat infront of him he says stuff like you are gonna just get SOOO fat if u keep on eating like a hippo. He says that I am really slow and that I should work out more often. He threatens that I have to go live with my stepmom and dad if i keep on acting horrible to him ( I really dont want to live with them because they live in a tiny house with around 7 people there and my stepmom lectures me as well) No one else gets it tho none of my friends have divorced parents and my stepdad likes my sister way more. Tho he does work alot and supports my mom, sister and I he never realises that hes being hurtful. He talks crap about my dad I know my dad cheated on my mom which is horrible but he just says stuff like i dont see ur dad around and such. And whenever i do ANYTHING wrong BOOM he lectures me for around 20 minutes he usually adds insults and highlights all the bad things about me. He really puts down my confidence

I no longer speak to my mother! All stepfathers 90% them are losers, these women want it easy they want sex and the **** all the time - the children pay the price for it! I'm 30 and i haven't spoken to my mother in 7 years when i left the house..i'm a girl and i used to be beaten, called names and abused by my mothers boyfriend then husband...none of these mothers care, its easier with the wrong man...but funny they divorce the children's fathers and stay with the abusive ****-suckers!

Simple record him and play the tape for your mother...tell her choose you are going to be around alot longer than him...he will be dead and gone in 20 30 years!

im im ****** 19 yr of age when my mom need a new **** to ****** i dont know why in the age of 40 so old but still wana ****** O_o i will kill my stepmotherfucker some dayyyyyyyy

I have the same story he gets mad at me because i idnt walk the dogs as frar as he wanted me too because i didnt take out the trash he starts screaming at me i have a sister and a brother that lives with me i had another but he moved out cuz my step dad told him he had to because he didtn like him and he made my brrother sighn a lease to live in our old house it was like 300$ a month for him so he moved to my grandmas house and i really miss him...:( Well now he hates me and probley wants me too move out but when me and him argue My mom starts yelling at me and she didnt yell before she met him...... I asked for a better phone once and he starts screaming at me telling me to shut up and how i dont apperciate what he does fo me and all this other carp and i start crying and wal out side and my friend comes and asked me what was wrong and i told her and i was hugging her and he comes out and tells my friend to leavse and tells me to get my butt inside he had called my mom and told her i said i hated my phone and o=all this other bullcrap and she said she was going to send me to my dads house and i ran in my room and got my stuff together because my grandmother came and got me and ... My sister has and i phone he has and 1phone my mom has an iphone and me and my brother are the only ones eho dont because the girl i said was my sister is my Step sister his daughter she gets everything one time he got in a big fight with her well it wasnt even that bad exsept when she started yelling i hate him and all this other stuff he went out and got her flowers i mean she even wants to move out becaue of him he ruins my life it use to be me my brother and my other brother untill he cam in and now me and him yell at each other every day i have told my mom a couple of times i hated him.... she dosent care at all my grandmother said she would keep me but she dosent have good schools where she lives so i am stuck with them and i hate it here my brother wants to live with our dad my step sister wants to live with her mom and i dont have anywhere to go because my dad likes my brother alot more than he likes my soooo i dont have anywhere to go Should i run away??!?!?!?!

I do not like my step dad either. First off, I have a dad that I get to see on a regular basis. So I do not think its right that my step dad constantly acts like my real dad. Now my step dad is in the army reserves and is also a cop. So he does help a lot with payments and I am grateful for that. But I think i speak for everyone when I say I would rather have happiness then money. He is obsessed with house chores. I do my chores but when they are not picture perfect I get in trouble by him. When he comes home from work he doesnt even say hello. He just goes straight to telling me what I have done wrong around the house. Also, he puts words into my mother's mouth. Just today he told me that if i didnt straighten up (which by the way he was talking about doing my chores correctly) that my mom was going to send me to my dads and i would start school there. My mom has never once said she was sending me to my dads. He is also always saying how lazy I am but I dont understand why. Over the summer I work with my uncle and I mow my neighbors yard. There is nothing else I can do. I am not old enough to work full time yet. Sometimes when the house is clean and Im done with all my chores, he will make up another chore for me to do and say that my mom wanted me to do it or Im grounded, even after I already talked to her. And now food. He always says I am a pig because he thinks I eat all the time. He freaks out if I go back for seconds at dinner or if i have 2 bowls of cereal for breakfeast. I am a growing teenager so Im going to eat. The thing is I just dont eat as much as he says I do. We will be with friends and he will always talk about what a pig I am. Money. Thats the other thing I am always in trouble for. He says we cant afford for me to drink a big glass of milk, but he can afford to take my mom to Jamaica and Aruba for vacation. HMMM thats odd. Now we do get to go on a vacation to Florida every year and I appreciate that. But like I said, I would rather have happiness then money....

You know i feel very sorry for your situation. cause i have really bad stepfather. He abuses me and my mom. He hits me, and sexually abuses my mom. I came to the usa 3 years ago but my mom lived with him all these years(2 before i came). and when he leaves i feel relief but after he comes back and it all starts again. i just hate him. And the thing is that he gets into my room when i am not at home. hi eats all my food that i buy for myself (i work i am 16). my mom works with old people and i began helping her on a 3rd day i came here. i work days and nights i am trying to take full schedule and take sports just not to see him. same as my mom. He comes home at 5-6 and i am not going to the bathroom or to the kitchen because of him. I am turning all the lights off because if someone is at home me or my mom he knocks until you open the door. I am scared about my mom and when i just came to this country i realized what she had to go through. I wish he would leave and never come back. he records everything. like you know you go to the bathroom and do what you do and then when you look down you see the recorder. My father died when i was 10 and my grandparents where not able to take care of me. and you know i didn't see my mom for 5 years and i missed her a lot. so i came with her. But if i would just know where i am going ... i will never come here.<br />
i hate when my stepfather gets into my room. 1year ago i worked from friday evening- sunday evening and he was getting in my room and checking my stuff( the doors were locked) as i understand he got on my territory. i don't smoke i don't get into trouble, i don't have friends( well i do, but only during school time) i don't go out. the only thing i do is work and study. he doesn't support me or my mom. i want him to leave so badly but he returns. he leaves in the morning and after you see him sitting in the apartment. even though we changed locks.<br />
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I would recommend you to record words as you stepfather say it, or put a camera good luck!!! (don't think that am i a cary like my stepfather) don't put a recorder in his room put it in yours. talk to your mom, tell her to understand i am not sure if you should walk to your counselor( mine didn't help me) he/she can make more problems but if you think he/she would help that do so. i hope something will help. i think it's also very hard to give advices, because it all depends on how hard it hurts you, and what relationships you have with your mom, with how many people you can talk when you have hard times. i feel sorry for you. because really it's hard to live when people don't trust you or understand you.<br />
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<br />
btw: i am a girl so i cannot protect myself or my mom.

My step dad is a fat loser! He would love me to be his real daughter and I know he's jealous. Everyone says how nice i am, how pretty i look and smart. I have good conversations with people and I am adorable. But my step dad doesn't even smile or say anything when someone says anything nice about me! He puts me down over everything and makes arguments twists it around so it's my fault.. I end up saying sorry all the time even when it was him. He calls me to my mum, she does stick up for me and has told him off but he still does it. He calls my dad and makes me feel bad. He doesn't ever have fun, he is so miserable, I like to be happy but he is depressing me I don't know what else to do. I have tried everything to ge nice, even his sense of humor isn't funny, calling me names and winding me up! Well he won't ever get wrinkles cause he never smiles sad f***er!

Kill all step dads ;D

you can't leave or it will break your moms heart. so try to talk to someone else or show prof of what he does or says or just stand up to him and say stop calling me names .

I'm 24,and had to move home after college. I am 1 class away from getting my degree and should be finished in May. My step-dad lives in his own little bubble fantasy world where he can do no wrong and is infallible. His ego is HUGE! He belittles anyone who goes against him and makes you feel stupid and worthless to make himself feel better because he is also extremely self conscious. He is by far the worst example of what a man should be that I have ever come across or could ever imagine. <br />
<br />
Also he has a weird psychological issue with food and feeding. He has killed two of our pervious dogs by over-feeding, I'm talking 20 treats a day and going through the mcdonalds drive through to buy them hamburgers a few times a week. I brought my dog back from college with me and he has since gained 25lbs! So, I have no choice but to send him to my dads across the country until i can find a cheap place to live (not so easy in Orange County, CA). He's overweight, can't go for a walk without being out of breath, but still talks about how he is in better shape than us (me 24, my sister 20, and our mom) and we are so weak and he is so muscular and we cant keep up woth him. ironically he's had a heart attack, eats fast-food for at least 2 meals every day, and is a HEALTH TEACHER! (wtf, whoever hired him id out of their minds)<br />
<br />
Every night he comes in from bowling and yells at my mom about how stupid she is and how he's put up with us long enough and he could just leave us with nothing and she's not even in his will (though they've been together for 18 years).<br />
<br />
He talks about how I have personality issues and how i'm lazy and stupid and worthless. I know he's the one with major issues, but he still makes me feel like a terrible worthless person. He also makes chauvinistic comments that convey women as weak and stupid all the time without realizing anything is wrong with them. It makes me resent my mom because this has been going on for about 10 years and she always says shes gonna do something about it, then never does and nothing ever changes and she never stands up for me. <br />
I'm gonna try and save up and get out and then concentrate on my dads side of the family because I can't deal with this situation every day any longer. <br />
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If any one has any advice or similar situations I would LOVE to hear them. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only person who has this issue and it's extremely comforting knowing I'm not alone.

my stepfather is a pathological liar. They warned my mother about him, but the bad boy thing must have attracted my mother to him, she loves drama, she loved to live in misery. He is an alcolholic. He wrecked my brothers 1972 chevelle. That should have been the first hint. Then he moved us to hillbilly country from beautiful new england away from our father, family and friends. Mother already had us screwed up some by then. We moved 27 times from the time I was 8 until 18. WTF? Our stepfather shot up the beer coolers in the store they bought. My mother sold our child hood home and lived off of it until it was gone. You know what they say about a fool and their money. He attacked my mother one nite, we called the police, my brother tried to protect her and got hit and had to spend the nite away from home that nite. <br />
My mother let us drop out of high school. I noticed a pattern later in life, when we got close to 12 grade, she would start packing up and moving around again. We were never stable, just always looking for greener pastures, which never happend.

I hate my stepdad alot too and he hates me too.he is so mean that wen ever he yells or hits me I yell and hit him back but I dnt care if I get in trouble with my mom cuz im not scated of her.but what I hate very much about my mom is that she doesnt really do anything either so I get mad at her too and dont talk to her for a while.but sometimes wen I tell her she goes n talks to him den start having a big argument.i also dont like wen he bothers my sisters.he has two kids n dnt like wen he hits em or sometimes he defends em n says lies but my mom listens to me . its like everything I do he <br />
has a problem wit it n sometimes I end up getting in trouble cus of him.oneday im goin to run away wit my sis n go wit my gosh why the heck are all stepdads so freakin mean because they also disrespect us.well I know some ppl who have stepdad n they r very nice to em n respect em.i get so pissed off wen ever he does something to me. I wish my mom n dad had never gotten devorcied.i miss my dad so much I want to live wit him instead of wit my mom.

my stepdad called my real dad a ******. he doesnt know that my real dad has been dead for 7 years

well he is a ***.

What a d*** !

my stepdad called my real dad a ******. he doesnt know that my real dad has been dead for 7 years

My advice to you, and I have been through the same experience, is to get away as soon as you can. You can't change him, he will never change. You can't change the fact that your mom apparently needs him. The psychological damage of dealing with this type of abuse is lifelong. Trust me, as hard ascit may be, you need to get away from this, even if it means legal emancipation.

I have a ***** step dad too... i Jusst hate himm...... He is really mean ... and in front of my mum he says that he cares about me. But i know that he is lying...I just moved to his house 5 months ago.. and is like hell... His children are very weird... Especially his daughter is such a knowing-all... and his son is 16 but his like a baby... ! My older brother is back to greece... and i dunno what to do.. because i miss him so much and sometimes i cry ....! Well my step-dad doesnt make it any easier.. he is always such a ***** to everyone... And he is always saying that his children are the best.. His children Eleni and Nicolas are such a *******.... WE use a common bathroom and once i heard them talking about their dad.. They called him mother ******.... My mom a long time ago said that she cares about me and being in a good school and become a doctor... My mom is such a *****... Yesterday they made me cry ..... because i was in my dads house in PHiladelphia.. and i had an extra credit exercise and i couldnt remember the title of the book... and blackboard was locked to other states... They called me spoiled because i was telling to my mom to find the book... (THAT WASNT BAD ... THAT WAS JUST SOMETHING THAT I ASKED.... I MISS THE WAS THINGS USED TO BE... MY MOM WAS DIFFERENT) I miss everything even the smell of the grass when i did wake up in MY house... A lot bigger than his house.. His a rich ***** but he doesnt spend money not even in his children .... (what an ***) I Feel so sad because im only 13 and i dont have nobody to help me.... I wish i could go live with my dad but i have to finish school first because i think one more new change will screw me....I m just waiting for it... I cant live in this bad enviroment anymore....My mad has a really small house.. but i dont care! im not like my mom....i tell to everybody how mean is that man.. but nobody can believe me... I CANT STAND THIS ANYMORE ,... PLEASE GIVE ME A SOLUTION I FEEL LIKE AM GONNA KILL MYSELF

My stepdad is just like that, since a few days i got the same feeling, He's just extremely annoying and yels at my sister and me when we forget something or made a small mistake, Its really ******* me off and i just want to scream my opinion at him but im sure he will just put me down if i do that and i bet my mom will just help him out and will be shouting at me aswell.. I really can't take it anymore either and i feel like living with my Dad, He's a really nice guy. But the problem is that if i go out i can't finish my ICT School, So i don't have any other choice to just finish school and get the hell out of this house.. I know it will hurt my mom but im done with this guy, Im also just ignoring him the most i can, But if i dont answer him when he talks to me he starts yelling at me aswell, When i tell him to stop acting so bossy and mad he tells me he isnt Mad or bossy at all, Im sure its all lies.<br />
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Goodluck for you aswell.

Exactly the same thing going on here :(
I can't stand my step dad he's such a smart *** he just trots around the place like he's top dog and yells and carry's on if something isn't done the way he likes it and it has been a long 13 years (he came when I was 3) and I just can't take it anymore.
good luck to you all.
Whatever you do don't try suicide it just makes things either worse or just more messed up,
We don't need this drama,
We don't deserve this depression
We don't deserve this feeling of hate
We deserve better
I'm in the sticky situation of finishing school. ^so is this guy

My stepdad is just like that, since a few days i got the same feeling, He's just extremely annoying and yels at my sister and me when we forget something or made a small mistake, Its really ******* me off and i just want to scream my opinion at him but im sure he will just put me down if i do that and i bet my mom will just help him out and will be shouting at me aswell.. I really can't take it anymore either and i feel like living with my Dad, He's a really nice guy. But the problem is that if i go out i can't finish my ICT School, So i don't have any other choice to just finish school and get the hell out of this house.. I know it will hurt my mom but im done with this guy, Im also just ignoring him the most i can, But if i dont answer him when he talks to me he starts yelling at me aswell, When i tell him to stop acting so bossy and mad he tells me he isnt Mad or bossy at all, Im sure its all lies.<br />
Goodluck for you aswell.

My stepdad is just like that, since a few days i got the same feeling, He's just extremely annoying and yels at my sister and me when we forget something or made a small mistake, Its really ******* me off and i just want to scream my opinion at him but im sure he will just put me down if i do that and i bet my mom will just help him out and will be shouting at me aswell.. I really can't take it anymore either and i feel like living with my Dad, He's a really nice guy. But the problem is that if i go out i can't finish my ICT School, So i don't have any other choice to just finish school and get the hell out of this house.. I know it will hurt my mom but im done with this guy, Im also just ignoring him the most i can, But if i dont answer him when he talks to me he starts yelling at me aswell, When i tell him to stop acting so bossy and mad he tells me he isnt Mad or bossy at all, Im sure its all lies.<br />
Goodluck for you aswell.

that's horrible, i sometimes want to kill him or kill myself, i can't stand this situation anymore!!, i've been living with him and my mom for 8 years, and it's been such a hell!! he's a nice person and he supports me with everything, but when he's drunk, he's worst than the devil himself, lately he has been telling me that i'm useless, that i'm trash and my dad's trash, why does he tell me sh*t about my dad? .. My step dad is old he's 62, my mom is 35... i don't know how she can stand such a horrible and disgusting person!! my dad is 42, and i love him, i want to live with him but i love my mom too and i won't like leaving her

that's horrible, i sometimes want to kill him or kill myself, i can't stand this situation anymore!!, i've been living with him and my mom for 8 years, and it's been such a hell!! he's a nice person and he supports me with everything, but when he's drunk, he's worst than the devil himself, lately he has been telling me that i'm useless, that i'm trash and my dad's trash, why does he tell me sh*t about my dad? .. My step dad is old he's 62, my mom is 35... i don't know how she can stand such a horrible and disgusting person!! my dad is 42, and i love him, i want to live with him but i love my mom too and i won't like leaving her

same my step dad is fk kill me im was 12 to 21 but im deaf and my mom love him alot like forever i dont know why my best friend not help me and what im doing someone never help me step dad keep bad month with me alll time and my name and he text my phone said : come down please i was like wtf for real? how what im doing plz help me im go die someday my mom i dony know how i feel os hurt and im keep cry soo **** alot ....</3

ya my step dad is so mean yesterday he sent me to bed at 6;30 because he had a bad day im 13 and he makes me go to bed at 8;00 everynight when his biological kids can stay up to 9;30 and hes always hitting me and when i yell at him for it he tells me im grounded and my mom gets mad but doesnt say anything hes always mean to me. :(

i read your story im sorry he treats u that way maybe you should record everything he is says and then let your mom listen to the recording of the stuff he says My step dad have a up and down relationship I love him but he can be an *** and mine can be emotionally and physically and mentally abusive but he has helped me and tried to but i have pushed him away a lot and mine has thrown things at me to and he cares for me but he picks on me too much also which sucks but he just wants whats best for me to but i'm sorry but your step dad needs to get a job and do something with his life

I understand how you feel. Both my two cats are sick and I took them to the vet and my step dad and mum came along with me. My adult cat Twinky has conjunctivitis and the kitten has a respiratory infection, he may have a virus and die too. When we were all in the vet room I asked the woman to get the kitten examined for a virus and when she left my step dad started raising his voice and said "We can put him to sleep here and now." and I told him I didn't want to put the kitten to sleep I just don't want him passing the virus on to my adult cat I got when I was 12 years old. He's really inconsiderate and gets mad at me a lot and tries to argue with me. I started crying when I got home from the vet and mom didn't even take up for me when he said that. I admit I do hate my step dad. He's a ****.

I am 13 and my step dad and my mom married when I was 6 now I have a 6 year old half brother and a two year old half sister. My steploser of a stepfather is wicked abusive and crazy. I cry constantly and am often bruised. He was arrested for domestic violence after he attacked my mom. she bailed him out and let him move back in. I hate him and he tried to commit suicide and drinks alot. My mom doesn't care that he hates me and is always being mean and putting me down. I am a straight a student have never gotten in trouble don't have a boyfriend or anything else that would tick him off but he still is abusive and degrading I don't have a real dad so I'm stuck here good luck!

Tristanruiz79- Just tell him how you feel and tell your mom to nicely make him quit that messed up BS.

Tristanruiz79- Just tell him how you feel and tell your mom to nicely make him quit that messed up BS.

ik how yall feel its ******* crazy geez i cant wait to leave my mom n sd ******* house ugh .tired to tell her what was happing she dont give a **** hes even abusive to her only thing she cares about is his **** like wtf she suppost to protect me.... but she'll get hers she gonna lose mi n wonder where iam whens shes old..... i wont help her widd nunthing ima let her suffer how i had to suffer idc if she has to be in an nursing home hate her for not loving me n letting thaat crackhead husband be evil to me

My stepdad is lazy, my mother has heart, diabetes,spleenless, and muscle problems. this mother*****er sits down watches T.V. and will call me or someone else to get him a pop, he never does anything around the house... he doesn't only bother me but all my siblings, If I ever leave anything around the house such as my clothes after I have a shower (becaue I don't want them wet) he throws them at me, If I leave some of my belongings he'll call me to get rid of them, he makes fun of me with my phobia of spiders, he always needs to kow what I'm doing but If I ask him what he's doing he'll give me a very dirty look and will say" What does it look like I'm doing?!" when he drives he tailgates and if someone does something he doesnt want he'll speed up to their car and use foul language. He smokes all day and drinks coke when he isn't smoking. He usually is more rude and disrespectful I won't go into detail about that, but the 2 things that really get me mad is when he tells me to be helpful like he is BUT HE ISN'T!!! the other thing is when he tells me oh your young you have nothing to worry about.. <br />
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I won't go into futher detail because its gets wayyyyy more worse.<br />
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I'm 13 my mom has been with his fatass face since I was 6 So I'm guessing I'll die from second-hand smoke

Dang me too! What is it about them? They are all lazy, abusive, and liars. Unfornuately, when I leave town, I'm cutting him off (and my mother) completely! It's like she cares more about him than she does her kids. And why do the moms always try to deny it?

Me too. I'm almost 21 and it still feels like my mother cares more for an abusive boyfriend than her own kids. I can't wait to leave town so I can cut him off (and her too) completely!!

my dad gates me when ever i do something there is always something i did wrong i want to move out but i can im only 13 and on my birthday my mom wasnt here it was me my stepsister and my step dad and i was playing xbox and ge comes in yelling at my and thretnig my my eyes start to tear up and her graps my by the throwt and shacks my saying do u want me to make u cry for a better reason and i just cant stand him my step bro and my real sis all left at 18 i wish i could of gone with but my mom would be crushed and my dad would always find a way to bring me back. my friends all hate him i do to he wont let me talk to my real dad when i called him he almost punched my but my mom walked in and idk if i can handle it:(

Im 11 years old<br />
My stepdad is always telling me off, my mum does nothing (once she told him to not speak to me like that!) and he has two bratty daughter one i hate from inside out is called annabel, she is a babyish backstabbing twit who says things about me behind my back shes 15 but acts like a baby. She goes to a private school and gets away with things i would be hanged for! Michael just shouted at me coz i was 'cheeky' 2 him but i wasnt coz he was comp,aining that i have a keyboard downstairs where i bother everyone and told me to have one in my room i said he had one downstairs he shouted at me mum says i was a little rude but i dont care hes not going to ruin my saturday! ;) kiss my *** michAel

My step-dad is a little *****. He is a fatass loner that thinks he is so tuff, but he is tubby. He goes crazy for no reason on me and even flipped our dinner table. He even chucked a bat at me. But im so tired of that *****, i thought back. I uppercutted him so hard it made my six pack hurt. He still ran at me, but i drop-kicked him back. I then shut my door, and locked it. He later chilled and has been pissed ever since. He makes me shake and cry all the time. I don't know what i have done. He is just plain stubbern as a ******* donkey. He slaps me all the time, and even threatened to kill me. He also called me fat when i weigh 104lbs. i just don't know what i have done. He takes the fun out of everything. :(

I'm sorry to all of you. I am now 52 years old and my evil stepfather is still a brute...still trying to bully me around. I left home the day I turned 18, but he still haunts me daily...emotionally. Get help with the perspective you need now, when you are young, or your entire life will be ba<x>sed around pleasing that man somehow...which is impossible. Please get some help.

ohhhhhhhhh buddy. don't even get me started about my step duecher of a father. this ******* has been in my life for idk, maybe 11 years now and it has been hell. this man lives to get me in ****, and we have had more then 8 physical altercations. this man has stolen my mother away from me, and attempted to ruin my life in the process. don't get me wrong, i've tried to ruin his as well. didn't get me anywhere good though, just the streets for hmmm... a year? yeah... oh and to top it all off, he used to walk around the house naked with his huge discusting harry beer belly hanging out. tell me about traumatizing. it sucks, because whenever my mother and i get into a fight he's always there to back her up and try to act like my father! **** that. i can't wait to get the **** out of this country and never see his face again. he got what he wanted.... he won..................

my step dad is evil to but my mom sees it and she looks scared when he is on a rampage and he made my butt turn purple

my step dad is evil to but my mom sees it and she looks scared when he is on a rampage and he made my butt turn purple

man i wish id known this was all stepdads when i was a kid. i had also a narcissistic stepfather, who would jump down my throat all the time just for doing what kids normally do. I didn't have to do anything wrong for him to go crazy on me, on a near daily basis. He was with my mom since i was about 5 and married when i was 6 or 7. <br />
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One time I told him "you are not my real dad" when he was yelling at me about something like a maniac, and he said something negative about my dad that I must have blocked out as I can't remember after "You're real dad is.." I go blank. Then my dad died when I was 9. I was stuck with him before my mom finally wised up and divorced him around when I went for college.<br />
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I don't talk to him at all if I'm not forced to, but my sister is his daughter, so it's not always avoidable. Just most of the time.

ver sor my friend!i know how much this hear because i grown up in the same life like you!what i want to tell is try to avoid him when he come afler you and what else you have to do is to find a private chance with your mom so as u can tell her everthing your stepfather done to you and she will find a way to finish my email mayb i can advaic you mor

Wow. My story is almost exactly the same.

same i hate my step dad

Ya, there's nothing to do with an awfull step dad. Mine is pretty much like yours. I've been living like that for 15 years now. I'm 23 and I can't afford moving out cause I'm in university in engineering and I can't work much. There's nothing I haven't tried. I tried beeing nice, I tried talking to my mom about it, I tried beeing distant and I tried beeing just as an ******* as he is. I even tried running away. It never changed anything. He lives in his own little bubble; he has no friends no familly. The only person who wants him is my mom for some odd reason. A couple years ago we were arguing and it ended by him slapping me so hard my mouth started bleeding. Then he left... and my mom cried her eyes out for more then a month. Can you believe I felt so bad that I apologized to my mom! And he came back with his old ways. An other time he wrote all the definition of beeing a parasite on post-it and put it all over the stairs to be sure I couldn't miss it when I leaving my room. <br />
He is such an awfull person. He calls me name all the time. Does everything to put me down. He told me my mom was tired of me and wanted to kick me out when I wasn't even 15. He would let me walk under the rain to go to school when he was home not working and shout at me that it suits me walking like a dog under the rain. I cry too but I never let them see it. I'm kinda mad at my mom too because she lets him. <br />
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You know what, there is nothing to do with people like that. As soon as I get my diploma I'm leaving this hell and I'm NEVER comming back again. <br />
I haaaaaate him!

Your step-dad/situation sounds a LOT like mine. I'm 24, had to move home after college and am 1 class away from getting my degree. My step-dad lives in his own little bubble fantasy world where he can do no wrong and is infallible. He has killed two of our pervious dogs by over-feeding, I'm talking 20 treats a day and going through the mcdonalds drive through to buy them hanburgers. I brought my dog back from college with me and he has since gained 25lbs! So I have no choice but to send him to my dads across the country until i can find a cheap place to live (not so easy in Orange County, CA).

Every night he comes in from bowling and yells at my mom about how stupid she is and how he's put up with us long enough and he could just leave us with nothing. He talks about how I have personality issues and how i'm lazy and stupid and an worthless. I know he's the one with major issues, but he still makes me feel like a terrible worthless person.

He also makes chauvinistic comments that convey women as weak and stupid all the time without realizing anything is wrong with them. It makes me resent my mom because this has been going on for about 10 years and she always says shes gonna do something about it and never does and nothing ever changes and she never stands up for me.

I'm gonna get out and then concentrate on my dads side of the family because i can't deal with this situation any longer (they've been dating since i was 5, married since I was 13).

If any one has any advice or similar situations I would LOVE to hear them. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only person who has this issue and it's extremely comforting knowing I'm not alone.

i have a mean step dad too.<br />
hes deffinatley not as bad as yours, but he gets mad over little things too. he calls me names and threatens me. one time he threatened to rip my throat out for being a "smart ***". and theres times he grabs me by the neck and says more threats. but my mom doesnt care. =/<br />
and like you, i dont do anything either. i just clean alllllll day, and go out to friends house's when im done cleaning. <br />
i hate step dads.<br />
haha.<br />

your dads a ****.