My Step Daughter Hates Me and I Hate Her

 It all started in 1976 when I married her father. He had been raising his child along with help from his parents. She was 10 years old and looked like she needed some extra love and attention. I on the other hand happen to be 22 years old no children of my own. I had always loved children and I thought I could help my new step daughter with new experiences such as fashion,learning how to cook and how to do  her hair and nails. She had never really known her biological mother as she never cared much about being a mother to my step daughter. The mother didn't come into the picture again until the year before I married her father and that was by mistake when they happen to run into her at a place were she worked and they had went into to get a bite to eat. After that she might have visited my step daughter a dozen times but nothing really ever came of the relationship,she still calls her mother and sees her a few times a year. Her mother still has no time for her(mother is still self centered as well as her daughter is)

 As much as I seemed to help my step daughter nothing would ever be good enough. She would go crying to her grandparents if she didn't get what she wanted from her father or I. She would go all out to get what she wanted even if she had to lie to get it. She told her father so many lies about me that many times he believed them,it took a few years before he caught on that it was she not I that was doing all the lieing. I didn't  know if my marriage would work at times and it was so nerve racking I thought I would have a break down. Her grandmother thought that she was the little angel and would telll other family members that I had been mean to her grand daughter. Later on in life the grandmother found out just what a angel she was! Anyway,my step daughter would break things of mine,and lie about it,even if I caught her red handed she would still lie. After my daughter was born she tried to burn her with hot qrease from a skilllet,she was 13 at this time and my daughter was 3. She told my husband that the baby pulled the hot skillet off the stove. Later when I questioned my little girl she said her half sister picked the skillet up and splashed the grease in her face(my step daughter was frying a egg). I told my step daughter if she ever harmed my daughter again it would be on. Later on at 15 she scalded my 5 year old(same child) in the tub by turning on the hot water while the little girl was taking a bath. She said she didn't do anything she had just used the toliet and the 5 year old did it herself. Both of these accidents happen while I was at work in the evening(5-10pm)and my husband babysat the two girls. But the five year old said again that her half sister did it to her.

 I have tried in vain to be good to this girl,she is now 40 years old and has been married 4 times,had 4 children and didn't raise any one of them so they were put up for adoption because she wanted to party or run with men,she has nothing to show for herself.I took care of them and fed them for months after she decided to run off with one man all the while caring for my own two young girls. She is very smart and made very good grades in school. She never finishes anything she starts. She still calls us if and when she doesn't have any place else to go. Uses us for what she can get for a few months and then starts with the same old crap. The lieing,stealing and telling everyone she knows lies about her father and I. She told her youngest half sister(her father and I have two together)that she hates me,and that I am mean to her father and to her. Years ago she told a group of people she worked with that her father had molested her for years when she was young. A friend of mine worked with her and my step daughter didn't know she was a friend. The friend called me and ask to speak to my husband and told him what his daughter had told at work that day. It upset him so bad,that he cried and thats not something that he does easily. When he questioned her about it,of course she lied about it. He told her he had to live in this town and thats the way things get started in small towns. The next day she was gone and of course to another state. We didn't see her for three years or hear from her. It has just been here the last year that she has been coming back around and a few months ago started this crap again. It upsets my daughters and keeps us all uptight. What can I do,or should I do. She knows the type of person I am,if she calls she knows I will help her. I have done some things to her,it has not been all a bed of roses. I have not been the perfect step mother,I have got back at her for things she has done when it got so bad I thought I would break. She told me she didn't want her father and I together and was going to do everything she could to break us up(at 13) I told her go ahead,because the harder you try the harder I'm going to stay! As long as she gets what she wants and is the center of attention of all men and I really mean that she is happy. She wants no one telling her what to do but then she'll ask for advice. She doesn't want to work and expects others to support her and give her money. If she has a boyfriend and they break up...she has another man as soon as she can find one,looks doesn't matter as long as she can benifit until a better man comes along. For example: She may have a older man on the string getting money from him and all the while seeing another young guy for sex. I mean it feels good to get all this off my chest. My sister said its a wonder I'm not crazy after putting up with her all these years.

 I know this is hard to believe but I am telling the truth. She has stolen from other family members as well as her father and I. She has used social security numbers from my two daughters to get telephones and such and ruined their credit with the phone company. When my oldest turned 18,she wanted to get a loan to buy something(at the time I can't remember what it was)and when the loan officer checked her credit,my step daughters birth date was on the credit(bad credit)but my daughters name and social. So please keep a check on your childs social number flag it if you can to stop others from using it if you feel someone is using it.

I have taken care of my step daughter when she was ill,cooked for her,washed her clothes,bought her fashionable clothes to wear,gave her money out of my pay check,took care of her children when she had them,went to the hospital and took care of her when she had the children. Gave her the clothes off my back,filled her apartment with food and furniture and she says I have been a mean step mother?? Should I care..not really because god knows whats gone on...but it hurts me so to know she hates me..I really don't hate her,I just started out with a rant. You can't make some care about you who only cares about themselves. This girl uses and them spits people out.

 Recently a few months ago she came to our home again,down and out. This time she said she would never leave and wanted to stay on a pieace of property her father and I own out in the country. Her father and I let her stay in our home for one month,fed and clothed her and gave her money while we decided what we would do for her to get her on her own. We bought a older used model trailer for her and put it on the property. It needed work,painting the outside and alittle paint on the inside and have the electric turned on(we already had another trailer there with electric that was our weekend trailer)we ran electric cords to the old trailer while we cleaned it up.(AND saved the money to get the electric on,we are retired now) She moved in and did some decorating(not much)had one of her older men boyfriends buying her things to spruce it up. She got a job and worked two WHOLE WEEKS! Then quit the job because she said her older m an boyfriend gave her money why should she work. Anyway,after letting her live with us in our home for a month,she only stayed at the trailer three weeks. The third week,the next week after quiting her job,her father ask her why she wasn't working...and you guessed it...she didn't want to work and she knew if she stayed she'd have to work so she moved(only after leaving all her newly aquired things in the old trailer for another month before she and the older man boyfriend and another old hag came and got the stuff) We found out later she had plans on trying to get the larger trailer,move a old boyfriend and his children in and squatting until her father died to get the property(34 ac.)to sell after her fathers death. A so called friend of her's told me that on the phone. What do you think of that. We have no will as of yet,but in the next week we plan on going to a lawyer. How does one leave a child like her out of a will when they don't deserve anything??? I am very tired....Why do I care about this girl when she cares for no one. I think its because I love her father so much that I can still care about her. I think the best thing to do is just not to have anything to do with her anymore. If she calls I just don't think I can answer the phone. Her father doesn't want her around any longer,it makes him stressed out and sick he said. He does expect me to take care of most everything that concerns her and even did this sometimes when she was younger,which used to cause alot of arguements betweens us. I just don't know what else to do. Do you think I should just wash my hands of her? Her half sister have got to the point they don't want to deal with her either. Has anyone else experieanced a step daughter like the one I have. This has been going on for 33 years now. I'm just 51.

bluejeankindagal bluejeankindagal
51-55, F
23 Responses Jul 6, 2008

Ok.I can't feel sorry for people who allow a grown woman to use her.and your hurting your other kids by having her around.and couldn't you got her arrested with the criminal things she did. All I know if you let her bother your kids might end up hating you. You should speak to your husband.he is just enabling is daughter. smh


OMG! I feel like I'm reading my own future with my stepdaughter. My story....
Her mom and dad had just started dating when two months in she is pregnant. Early on and unfortunately at that point by her dads admission he realizes that he doesn't want to date her because of her psychotic behavior. So they break up, but they do put an order in place with the court for child support etc. My husband is career military and dutifully pays support and gives her money for everything and anything without fail. He has also deployed to provide extra income for his daughters benefit. At the time of the child support agreement her mom made about one tenth of what she makes now. She makes about 3 to 4 times more than what he makes. Although its well within his right to do so, he has not requested a hearing for child support modification. All he wants is the relationship with his child. It's heartbreaking and infuriating to see him begging to see her. Begging to spend time with her.... And without so much as a card when he deploys to the middle east, or when he has surgery, or on his birthday..... The only time she seeks him out is around holidays and birthdays so she can tug on his heart strings while she empties his wallet. I see no problem with giving gifts and doting on her but she wont give him the love he deserves. I would love to dote on her myself except she won't even meet me....(we've been married for almost 4 years).... Her mother told her dad to leave my name off every card he sends to her and every gift.... And without telling me he did do what she asked. That was soooo hurtful. She is now having her Bat Mitzvah and he responded we were coming.... Well she, the mom, has unleashed the gates of hell. She has text messaged the nastiest most unthinkable things to her dad. They say not to bother coming if he shows up with me. I really just don't understand. I can't comprehend why they behave this way. She (the mom) wasn't even married to him and he has done the right thing for his daughter. He's not a bad guy and has been begging to have the kind of relationship other parents have with his daughter. It's gotten pretty bad with our marriage though. The stress level is just off the charts. He even gave her 700.00 for the party without telling or consulting me. And we don't have that kind of money to just hand out freely. We have two other children also and try to be conservative with our spending. If I was her mom I'd be happy that he found someone who is looking forward to having a relationship with their daughter. I'm not the wicked stepmother and I don't want to be, but boy..... When they ( the mom, daughter, and grandma) call and text the most evil vile messages to your phone and to my husbands... It's hard to come from a place of love. My husband says its been this way from the beginning. The very beginning. Before his daughter was born her mother was writing the most evil things to his parents, calling the department of child welfare and safety on his parents and his grown siblings, writing horrible things on baby pictures and sending them to him and his parents.... I just don't understand. I can't get my mind around it. Besides the fact that don't you want to act like a lady? Why put me down? (she talks bad about our children, makes fun of their looks.....isn't that awful!) I am a beautiful person inside and out. I LOVE my husband. But... It is getting harder and harder to know just what to do in this situation. I'm afraid of ending up (no offense ) in the same situation as Blujeankinagal. I can see it already. And I don't know if my husband is being too soft, I don't know if I'm not putting my foot down enough..... I really don't think I could trust her around my children either. And I'm afraid of what this is will do to our marriage.
I told my husband last night that maybe he should go to the Bat Mitzvah without me. I want to be there to support him, and to celebrate her big day even though she hates me, but I don't know what to do. His poor parents are heartbroken also because they can't have a normal relationship with her either. They say her mom and maternal grandmother are completely evil and psychotic and although they have tried and tried to ignore it and turn the other cheek it's at the point where they can't. They aren't going to the party. And you know grandparents will do ANYTHING for their grandchildren. They can't take it anymore either. They have been on the receiving end of the texts and phone calls from hell as well.
We have boys and I was really looking forward to having her as a daughter.
I don't want to leave my husband but I can't continue like this much longer.
I pray for everyone here. Xo

Just leave. Enough is enough

i have been with my boyfriend for 6 years his daughter is a lier. she loves me to my face but behind my back she hates me wants him back with the girl before me. my boyfriend and her mom broke up before she was born but that dont stop her mom from telling my boyfriend leave me or he will lose his kid. he did for two weeks, at one point after the lies she told his family went to far, he was done he did not talk to her or see her. mind you she only cares at christmas and her birthday. but a few weeks ago outta the blue she just walks into my house like she can with this smile like i am back she is 14 but i am done with her for good. he has lied about talking to her and seeing her which i always told him that is your kid just see her at his parents. we live together and his kid does nothen but bad stuff to my 3 kids she breaks there stuff lies about them. but when i allowed her here she was like my own kid but the second she leaves the lies start i told my boyfriend maybe we should just end it cause this will never work when a kid is pulling what his kid is. he is in the middle it aint fair, but it aint fair to me and my kids. she knows right from wrong she just dont care. sad thing is i can say I HATE HER AND MEAN IT. i love her dad to death but i will not give her anymore chances to make my family upset. she is hurtful a lier she needs help alone with her mom which has 4 kids by 4 diffrent guys and still tries to run all there lives. should i leave him cause i cant be in her life every again. she is fake and makes me sick just to hear her voice sad but true thank you for your time PLEASE SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT TO DO ..

I hate to be the bad person but really who likes step kids? All they do is ***** and whine , brutally terrorize half siblings, and manipulate their parents. They break up marriages and end up being a burden to society beacuse their biological parents dont raise them right and wont let the step parent step in. My step daughter is a grand example of this. 40 years old, has never worked a day in her life, sells her body for drugs, and terrorizes her 10 year old brother since he was born.She even tried to kill him in the washing machine when he was 2 months old. AND SHES A GROWN WOMAN!!! To all the step kids out there ( minus the good ones if there is any) GROW THE BLEEP UP AND LET YOUR PARENTS BE HAPPY!!!

I have to tell you that your story is so similar to mine that it's almost scary. One difference is that I have been dealing with it for about 11 years and you have had to deal with it for many more. I feell much the same way that you do - frustrated, angry, scared, ashamed - but mostly sad. My stepdaughter will be 18 in a year and then things will be different as she won't be allowed to live in our house if she won't follow the rules and if she can't show respect for me, her dad, and her older brother. I am saying a prayer right now for you and your situation and for everyone else going thru anything similar. God bless you, and please take care of yourself. That's something that I have to remind myself to do sometimes.

Here is the thing that really gets me... If she were your step SON, everyone would tell him to get his **** together and feel better about "tough love". But because she is a card carrying member of the vagina club, folks will continue to help her. <br />
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My step monster is 18 and lazy and terrible. She has pulled some stuff - but if she were to hurt my children, I would most likely be in jail because of what I would do to her. <br />
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You see, I absolutely hate her. She has made the last 7 years unbearable. I have no room in my heart, head or soul to forgive her and move on. She is unfixable and so are we. If my husband wants to continue to throw himself on top of her to save her from the "MEAN STEP MOM GRENADE", then he has made a poor choice.<br />
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Your step daughter and mine, should be sent to an island - with the rest of the entitled pieces of crap that are walking around too lazy and self centered to considered good people... to "delicate" for consequences and too stupid to understand that it is indeed THEIR major malfunction and not ours.... put them on an island. Leave them there.... and we can go back to our happy lives.<br />
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I am sorry you are dealing with this.

I really think it is funny, You always know who the mother's are that want nothing more then to hurt their ex husband/boyfriend.I am a step mother as well as a mother! My mother died when I was 10, my father remarried and I had the WORST step mothers! I could only wish I had a step mother like you!! I am now a step mother and I will do anything to not be the nasty step mother I once had, it doesn't matter because their mother is money hungry and only wants to hurt us (meaning me and my husband) and please I don't want to hear how I'm just mad because we have to pay child support, I have a son and I have not gotten child support in two years, It happens I go one! You people just make me sick with all the crap on, everything the STEP- MOTHER or STEP- FATHER have done wrong!! We all know you are all just mad your ex has moved on!! I have been read these things all the time, and keep my mouth shut, but this time I can't!! Good Luck and keep this girl OUT OF YOUR LIFE!!! You are a wonderful women!!

@2009lostsoul2009 Did you even read her entire post? A spouse is one person of a two person team. These people have vowed to be together for the rest of their lives. They have to stand on a non dividable front. If someone cannot put their spouse first, then they need not be married. If the child is not willing to accept this after countless talks, interventions and reassurance then the child has to grow up and face the consequences of their own rebellion. Children do not rule the house, they are part of the house until they are old enough to go out on their own and start their own families with their own life partners and their own families. This woman has no respect for herself, her own birthed children, or her parents. She is toxic and needs to be loved from a distance until she can learn to love herself. I had a horrific pre-teen, teen and post teen life, but that is no excuse for poor behavior. At some point I did learn what was right and what was wrong. Making excuses for the "children" gets old and it also keeps the children from ever taking responsibility for their actions. They grow up being victims and blaming everyone else for their own bad choices.

Sooooooo true!!! Thank you for sharing this!!!!

There is always two sides to every story. Maybe the daughter does not want to share her daddy, maybe the step mother, in her mind, is not and never will be good enough for her daddy, maybe the step mother walks all over her daddy, disrespecting him and talking down to him.<br />
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I guess we will never know...<br />
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<br />
Elk Grove, CA.

Sounds like your the jealous step daughter

my stepdaughter behaves horrible. She yells and says bad things about me out loud in front of my face and my children. She tried letting her boyfriend live here and I said to my husband no way! She has been beyond reasonable since he told him to leave. She was letting her 2 dogs **** and crap all over the house, not cleaning it, not helping clean up their messes in the back yard and even letting them yelp in the room, or scratch on the doors unattended. My husband finally made her take the dogs with her, and tend to them herself...she tried again last night to bring her boyfriend over and let him at 1 am this morning it was again a battlefield, even to the point of drama queen on her knees begging daddy to let him stay one night...I am the evil one destroying her life? She comes and goes as she pleases, and this has not changed, vanishing for days on end, and just disrupting the home when she decides...this has caused me and my husband fights...I don't feel she should be allowed to behave this way period. It feels like her room is only a storage room, when it should be used for better purposes. She only shows up when his family gets sick of her and kicks her out for the night. She has stolen from me, lots!!! I even caught her red handed with my purse! I had my husband put a lock on my door. I live under lock and key when she is around. She is a heroin user, and lord knows what else she may be using...I am angry because she is high at times. She refuses treatment, and tries to convince her father that she basically can quit when she wants, and has this under control. She says I haven't used for the past 3 months? Yet is smoking pot and doing whatever else to get her fix...that does not say to me not using. Seems when I get really upset, my husband gets negative with me. He has said to me she is all he has? Does that make me her door-mat? She to date hasn't done a single thing but one sink load of dishes. I have given her money, but quickly caught on to the lies.Her dad wants to believe her lies. At times he is supportive, and other times, he makes me so upset with his pure and simple disregard for her bad behavior. Lately I have been very depressed. My cats disappeared, and my dog died as a result of her dog, the day before Thanksgiving this year. She was insistent on trying to ruin Thanksgiving, planning to leave me with her dogs, and her dad was going to allow it! Selfish and inconsiderate on both of their behalf's. I refused and thanked my husband for ruining my holiday as well as my children, since I just buried Lily! He called her back and said bad idea...but she showed up anyway, and then tried to pull the dump the dogs and boyfriend the end of my rope quickly...she is19, I am trying to be mature and reasonable about all this...but feel like I am sinking. Is it just me? OR is it just her being a spoiled, selfish brat that wants everything her way? ~ Tanna~

You bet I have had this happen. For 31 years I have deal with a little selfish, worthless stepdaughter.<br />
It has almost broken our marriage up 4 times. She will never stop and there is nothing I can do. She is the ugly sister of three. The other two are attractive. She is just not. So Dad feels really sorry for her and she knows how to play him. I honestly think I would have been better off getting out of this marriage while I was still young. Take heed all you 30's 40's stepmothers. Get out while you can still have a life. It's just not worth fighting the little ******* when they have" Daddy" yes still daddy at 55, wrapped around thier little fat fingers.

Dear "Bluejeankindagal,<br />
<br />
RUN as fast as you can RUN away from this NUT CASE before she does you and your husband some real harm!! This woman needs help desperately bad and should be locked up as far as I am concerned!! Don't keep giving in to her and keep her at a safe distance and don't keep giving her money, shelter, and clothes as she is only using the both of you. Practice saying NO and mean it and hopefully some day this woman will grow up, although I seriously DOUBT it!!

Sorry if this is harsh but....<br />
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Your step daughter always hated you. She told you that when she was 13, and she meant it. She wanted her dad all to herself, thus she told you she was going to do everything to break you up. She failed in that regard, and her behavior is a part of that. She became wild trying her hardest to get you too to end it during her teenage years, when she became a women she is still wild.<br />
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She actually needed counseling when she was a teenager, because as you see, when you became a part of her life it became a conquest to get her fathers attention, but you unfortunately seen it as a game like she did so you decided to "beat her". You did, congratulations, here is the result.<br />
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She wanted attention from her dad(a man), but since you took it from her, she got it from other men, various men(as you said). She also knew that when she gets in trouble or does anything wrong she will also get that attention. <br />
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This is also seen when she was hurting her younger sisters. It again is because she is jealous of them and the new attention they received because they were kids and needed a lot of attention. Again, a perfect she needed help professionally but it wasn't given .<br />
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Now at age 40, defeated, she doesn't care about either of you. She hates you for taking her dad away, and her dad because he kept you despite her efforts. She feels rejected by the man she loved the most(another reason she is promiscuous). <br />
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It isn't entirely her fault she is like this, its basic humanity for a daughter to be jealous, but something provoked her to act this way. Basically if you weren't in her life than she probably wont be this way, she probably knows that, he life is out of control and she knows it.<br />
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Harsh I know, but it is how it is.

Dear bluejeankindagal,<br />
My advice to you is for you to listen to your husband and do what he asked, do not have anything more to do with this daughter. Don't try to help her anymore, and try to keep her out and at a distance. Of all the things you could do, this is the only choice that will keep your health, and your husband's health. You both have gone through too much, and this daughter is heavy duty. I am sorry to hear your story, and my heart goes out to you. You cannot listen to anybody that have not been a step parent before, and their opinions don't matter. What matters is your health. When your daughter/step daughter is older she will realize, someday, all her sins against both of you. Right now your job is to minimize or eliminate the damage that she has done and will continue to do. She will not change much unless she faces the consequences of her behavior.<br />
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If she stays away from both of you, consider it a blessing. Do not make any effort to try to relate to her. If she comes around disrespecting both of you, your husband needs to be firm and tell her that both of you will not relate to her unless she learns to resepct both of you.<br />
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As for the will, for as long as she is the way she is, leave her out of both of your wills, or spend it all, spend all your money. Don't leave anything for her. It's YOUR hard earned money, and she deserves none of that. She has not treated both of you with the least respect.<br />
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Do not beat yourself up anymore for this person. Practice separation and tough love. She'll grow eventually...

I just wanted to add that nothing has changed much since I posted my story. So far 13 months ago she came to her father and I for help again. Stayed at our home for a month after her boyfriend kicked her out. Of course we fed,clothed her and gave her money but it wasn't enough. She told me to my face that she hated me. So I have now washed my hands of her,I told my husband this and he said he didn't blame me at all. I don't care if she comes to see her father but I will not put up with any of her antics or help her at all again. I deserve more than the way she has treated me. As for 2009lostsoul2009 comment,you have your opinion I have mine. This girl never had her mother around and was raised by her father and grandparents. Her mother never wanted her but did raise another daughter and worshiped her,so what gives?? She gives all the credit to her mother and none to her father and grandparents. Both are dead beats,she's been married 4 or 5 times and her mother has too.

My Stepdaughter.<br />
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I think I have a very sad story to describe here but I need some advice…and I don’t know that is me if I’m doing the correct thing or if I’m way wrong…but I just want the best for my kids…I will describe what is going on for the last 10 years and you guys let me know what is wrong…:<br />
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My wife and I are together for over 13 years and she has 2 daughters one of 29 and the other one 19 we got married 10 years ago and we have 2 kids my son of 9 and my daughter of 7…since the beginning everything from the side of the daughters was only hate they always blame me for take her mom away from them…and make my live so miserable any way many years pass and now the second daughter finish high school and went to college and my wife wants to keep her room as is and no one allow to get in even thought my 2 kids share the same room…I talk to my wife that since her daughter doesn’t live in the house we should give her room to my little one and she refuses and the reason why is because every weekend for the last 6 months her daughter only come home for the weekend and as soon as she come home she is going out and she sleeps out of the house in a relatives houses …? Why I told my wife that her room is not a closet that she must stay at the house an used or else…I will take that room for my daughter but she always refuse…neither the less she was always mean with my kids and not even say hi to them or anything…and to me she always insult me and say gross words even in front of my kids when she was under edge she call me the police because she blame on me that I took a calculator from her room and even my wife get in her side…nothing else to said but just the next morning after that day she found the calculator under her bed and come to me to say sorry after all the big show…right away I call the police and I make the police take her words to put it in the police report…? Do you believe that?<br />
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Years ago I use to have business with South America and all the things that I bought come to the house and she was stealing from me one day I say something to her and she got crazy and start getting everything and throwing everything all over the house when I saw all this I just walk away and I called my wife and told her what it was going on…when she arrive home the house was spotless like nothing happened that makes me look like a big liar …?<br />
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Another opportunity she was insulting me in front of my kids and I couldn’t take it no more and I took it from her arm and I send it outside until her mom’s come from work…guess what…she went to the hospital to the emergency room and said that I broke her arm…a big and very well plan to get me in jail…but thanks god the doctors knew that she was lying…because she didn’t have anything…and even she bring me police to the door of my house and they were ready to take me in…and even with my kids…feel so embrace because I work so hard to have my house in a nice neighborhood and all my fellow ask me what is going on or just look at me as the bad guy of the movie.<br />
This morning and just to finish she pass in front of all of us not even good morning to no one and went to the basement and her way back I said how hard is to said good morning…and she right away star raising her voice…and I said no more…that’s it because I told her when she turn 18 that no more shows or raising voice in the house I told her show is over now no more police or shows because you were under edge …well she star with the famous word I Hate you and all this in front of my kids when we having breakfast how nice ehhh…of course my wife always defend her against everything saying that I provoke that…and that was enough I said this morning she is got to go…pack her things otherwise I’ll do it…I won’t take it no more I won’t take her insults or offensives words the worse of the worse that in front of my kids.<br />
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She get into her room and start screaming that I’m leaving and my wife begging her to stay a whole new show…I took my camera just in case and I record the whole thing.<br />
Personally it was very strong experience for my kids and personally to myself I wasn’t raise in that kind of environment and I can’t take such an aggression.<br />
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After that I took my kids to school and of course they were crying also I told them to calm down before we get to school…that nothing will happen.<br />
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I know this is just few days before Christmas and I know that my wife for now on will make my live very miserable but guess what I have my kids and the rest believe me I don’t personally care…many times I told my wife to get divorce because her daughter but things happen and we still together.<br />
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Now you guys decide and help me how to approach all this conflict that to me looks very complicated.<br />
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Email me

I can't see where its the step mothers fault. All she has tried to do is help the girl. It seems to me that she is a VERY SPOILED brat. If you read the first line or so it says she was being raised by her father and his parents,so its not like she didn't have a stable life already. And where was the mother in the picture it seems that 1976 would make the girl born in the 60's so her mother must have been no good at all for a father to have custody of a child in that time period. I'd say wash your hands of her and let her suffer some. It seems as if she has always been catered to and thats why she does the things she does because she knows old dad and step mom will help her out of her situation. This WOMAN is 40 years old. My gawd. Shes not going to be young forever.

I am sorry to hear what you are going through. Sounds like you never have peace in your life. I hope that your step daughter figures her life out soon, she will regret it one day!!<br />
@ 2009lostsoul2009: Don't you think with 40years she should have taken her life's in her own hands? Her Step Mom was not evil to her she was giving her a stable family life.<br />
It drives me insane when grown up people blame their hard upbringing on mistakes they make in life... because that is self destructive and it is an easy way out. Work on yourself and make the best out of it and hopefully try to be different with your own children!!!

U have no idea how a child feels when a stranger like u comes into their lives for the first time.<br />
Poor kid has lost her mother and you are a threat to her , and she scared about losing Dad as well know.<br />
Kids need space they will come to you when they are ready, feel at easy .<br />
You have come into this childs life ,no choice by child ,and taken the biggest part away from her Dad.<br />
I can say this as my daughter going through similar experiences, expect Mum is in their lives.<br />
Children are not excess luggage when you meet someone new, there were there first so respect them and their bountries.

I say use tuff love. The girl doesn't respect herself so how will she ever respect you and her father. Wipe your hands clean of her and maybe with God's love she will staighten herself up. As for you all you guys need a vacation away from her.

Have you tried talking to her doctor about her erratic behavior. The girl needs help. Do you think she really believes her lies. Are they delusions ? I would try getting her psyciatric care before I washed my hands of her. Good luck. so sorry you had to deal with such a horrible girl! i say, you and her father sit down and tell her you two want nothing to do with her until she straightens her life out. giving her money and help whenever she cant get a guy to get it for her isnt going to help her at all! please keep me updated on this! you need to have a group of support around you!