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She's Not a Bad Kid

She is 14 and decided to move in with me and her dad soon after I found out I was pregnant, this is my first baby and is actually my husbands first baby also... He didn't get a chance to help raise her as he got someone pregnant when he was 14. He didn't see this child till she was 5 years old. Their relationship has been jadded from the begining. Anyway with out too many crazy details... let me move on to my rant or my vent. She is a liar, she is two faced and a horrible person. I can't stand to look into her face. she sent an innocent man to jail because she claimed that he touched her.. It was her soon to be step-dad and she didn't like him.. well she got what she wanted. She smells. She refuses to take showers on a daily or even every other day basis. her dad is oblivious to how much this person bothers me. She is a burdan to us. Financially, emotionally and in everyway a Burden. I can't stand her in my home and if I would have known that she would end up with us I don't know if I would have married my husband. I don't trust her in my house alone, which has to be done becuase she gets out of school before I can get off work. She eats like a freaken pig... She is a waste of my resources. A waste of my money, and emotions, I hate her. I want her out of my house as soon as possible. I will never allow her to babysit my child. I will never accept her as my own. I cannot stand that she is even near me... I come home late from work to avoid her. I stay in my room until my husband comes home from work. I don't care how her day is. I don't even care if she has eaten. I hate her..... GO AWAY! and I especially hate that she knows and loves that she is ruining my life.
tatiana tatiana 26-30, F 79 Responses Dec 3, 2007

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I
Have the same prob with my sd.She was ok
To begin with but when her dad n I got serious she did everything to split us up.When that didn't work she tried to split her mum
N step dad up then when my daughter was born she asked to c her.i gave hr ghe benefit of the doubt despite her lying about me n Mkn my life a misery.She was only allowed to c my daughter If I was present coz I knew her dad wud not think twice about leaving them alone together and after her mum telling me she had Bn deliberately. Hurting her half brother I would not allow that.Her dad went behind my bk one day to let them c each other and I find out before it happened n stopped it so she went mental threatening me and my daughter who was six wks old, tampered with tyre on car under where she knew my daughter sat nade false allegations against me.She has Bn stopped seeing my daughter but am
Worried if she went to try n get visitation would she get it? I am
In Scotland and think she wud do it just to get at me.She is dangerous, even her mother has said that but she is now allowing her contact with her half brother and things are fine between her n her mother now.i am worried about my daughters safety if this girl went for visitation.She even told her dad during a confrontation with him which she was the instigator that he is lucky she has not tried to get my daughter taken off us.i just wish she wud really leave the country.Her dad always paid maintenence for her then in October she applied for it to b paid direct to her and my daughters child tax was tkn into account, so now he pays more for her than before we had out daugher and she told everyone the only reason she dun it is coz the more she gets the less me n my daughter get.I fully understand where u r coming from, u just have to hope that her dad eventually sees her for what she is.

I love my step children. They are my children. I have raised them for the past 10 yrs. They are now 13, 14, and 15. The youngest is going through some issues right now. She lies alot and has a very bad attitude. At first I took it personally and it was causing serious marital problems. I've taken time to think about things and realized she is a teen and has been through alot and needs me more than ever so I just can't let her push me away. These kids have the typical teen problems and the issues deep down of a broken home and missing parents. They often ask what they did for things to happen the way they did with their mom, they don't realize its not their fault.

It is difficult to have a teenager in the house. I have fell out with my own daughter. She is a liar too. She lie to me many times. She doesn't want to talk honestly. We try to help her and give her the best life but she think we are rubbish. I can't stand her anymore and enough is enough. I get rid of her from my life.

I totally understand your story. My SD is like yours. She is a liar and a mess. She can stand not to take showers for one week in summer. And she has all trashes on her floor, throwing dirty words to her brother and punch him whenever she can. I was there for her since she was 3. Her mom left her when she was 1.5 and never contributed anything to her since then. I was the one who took care of her since she was 3 year old. And now I don't want any relationship with her. She is horrible. She uses F words to other people and keeps bad mouths her brother who is 4 year younger than her. She doesn't want to do her homework and keeps lying to us and her teacher and tried to play her father to make him against me.

Now all I matter is my own life and my own kids. She is out of the picture. I don't talk to her except I tell her to do something. And I don't take her anywhere on the weekend. I told my husband that all I have done worth nothing and I decide to jump out of the motherly role. It's not my job anymore. Besides, she has her own BM who lives not far from her. And all my SD's needs should be taken care by her since she claims that she is her only mom and doesn't even allow her to call me mom. I used to feel frustrated. But now, I feel released. I DON"T HAVE TO BE HER MOM! I HAVE A CHOICE.

I feel much happier since then.

This is exactly why I would never take leftovers... I don't mean to be disrespectful, but I would never, ever, ever, EVER go with a divorced man who has children under 30.

I couldn't have said it different. You hit every on stick to the tee with what I go through. It made me chuckle as I read this because it seemed like every sentence you write was mirror image of what I am going through. But now what? How did you solve it?

I understand how you feel. I hate my step-daughter, she is a horrible person too. When I had my son she was 7 and decided she did want to be a part of our family so she told everyone her dad "touched her in a bad way" which was totally not true! He lies were so far fetched then she told that truth that she made it up. My husband has been trying to get more time with her, we have her on the weekends. and he threatened to call the cops if the BM didn't comply with the parenting plan, which got to my step-daughter and now she said she hates him and will do what ever she can to make sure her mom get full custody of her because "we are always calling the cops on her mom." He did call on her once 8 years ago when she comply with the parenting plan and I called on her step-dad who showed up drunk to pick her up so yeah he got a DUI. I am afraid she is going to accuse him of something else. I hate seeing my husbands heart get broken by his daughter all the time. I am glad I am not alone.

I have done nothing but treat her like one of my own for the last 7 years. Take her to do fun stuff her mom is to lazy to do with her. I go out of my way to make sure she keeps her room clean so she doesn't get into trouble (my husband is strict, but this is her one and only chore), go to all sporting events, cheer her on and was even team mom when she asked me. Only to find out she tells her friends she is a slave at our house, she is always in trouble, she hates me, and talks **** about my kids. Btw she is also 14, but i can't stand her anymore. I hurt me at first but I'm now over her.

My SD did the same thing. I was her only parent for many years. Her dad worked all the time, and when he was off, he had his hobbies, so I always had her. Her mom only came to get her when she needed money. She would pick her up and ask my husband for money so they could go do something. This was only about once every 3 or 4 months until she was 11. She was 3 when we started dating. I did all the school functions, plays, volunteered, field trips, dance classes, soft ball, etc. I made sure she got a bath and brushed her teeth every night, tucked her in, read her stories, played tea and barbies, helped with the homework, cooked and cleaned....... all of it. And the same thing..... I was a monster. I made HER do everything...I wouldn't wash HER clothes (this because I told her I would only wash what was in the laundry room). The list is endless of how horrible I was to her. She is 8 years older than our son, her half brother, but she tells everybody how mean he was to HER. UGH....She is 25 and telling more and more lies, she says her dad chased her with a belt all around the house ( Oh, if only he had once or twice...) and she tells that her brother slapped her so hard one time that she had a welt on her face. (never happened, she would have killed him) Even her doting dad was afraid to leave them alone in the room together. She always managed to "accidentally" punch, kick, or knock him off of something usually resulting in a bloody nose, lip, or knee. We never left them alone. I have been the only person in the whole world she could count on all through her life, and she bad mouths me and manipulates her dad to get around me to this day. Good luck with your SD, I hope your story ends better than mine. After reading and posting to all these stories, I think I finally am realizing that it is all futile, and even if I lose everything I have and love, it will be better than living the rest of my life in constant dread of what she will do or say next.

i feel they exact same way

If her parents taught her right from the beginning you wouldnt have this problem bad parents = bad kids.

Not totally true.....and very unfair to assume such!!

Those that have trashed this lady are idiots and living in a surreal life. I have a 10 year old stepdaughter who hates me for no reason other than the fact that I am here for her 350 days a year and her real father is only available 15 days per year. She literally spits on me and locks me out of my house while laughing. I have sympathy for her situation, but her father lives 1 mile away....he is still alive, healthy and able to spend time with her.....but chooses not to. Kate is an absolute ******* ***** to me and my kids - she is 10 years old and not a baby - I am completely on the OP's side with this one and the rest of you need to get out of your ******* stepford wives world and understand what we have to deal with.

To the haters-suck it! 14 is not a child couponclipper, a minor sure, but a child? Nope. Some adolescents are a pain in the butt hole and then there are the step adolescents and they not only are butt hole pains but narcissistic, entitled, pity party of one, butt hole pains! I'm 26 my SD is 13 and I have had her ft since she was 7. No bm in the picture. She has always been a lying, manipulative, conniving, beastly brat, but after figuring this out when she was 9 during a particular nightmare she decided to put her dad and I through for attention, I simply decided to quit trying to be a mom-figure and focus on just getting along. This worked for a few years but come to find out she was just lying and stealing and acting a ho the whole time. As of last month when **** hit the fan for real (I found her stealing my lingerie and underwear and wearing it to school amongst other unsavory thigs ) I simply ignore her unless I'm telling her what to do or wear. I don't want a relationship with her anymore. Its like when you break up with someone her betrayal was more than I could take the proverbial last straw. Her dad and I have been at odds since this and she is all over him now its gross and weird and very uncomfortable for me. But to those of you who think tatiana is horrible or mean, you have no idea what she's going through, its not worth it being a stepmom because you step kids make it miserable even when we just want to love you. Its unfortunate for everyone involved but the step parent is the one having to make the biggest adjustment of all ,becoming a live in outsider is the worst!

For those people that think that she is wrong, let me ask you...are you in her shoes? Of course not!
Step kids are a pain in the ***....it's not fun dealing with them and the ex

You are horrible, horrible, horrible! Having been the step-daughter to a step-mother just like you... I just pity you. I've realized her abuse was not about me but HER. It made her feel powerful, superior, and like a better person as long as she was better than me. Bullies are nothing but weak children underneath. And you too will use your step-child to vent life's frustrations, and treat your own as a king. Shame and pity on you, she's only a child. Did you think maybe she is going through something being a teen? I bet you were perfect growing up eh? I'll pray for you and your poor step-child.

She is not a horrible person! Sounds like you were just another bratty spoiled stepchild sucking the life out of your stepmom! The step parent in a family is definitely the one getting the **** end if the deal. Ever been an outsider for YEARS ON END because spoiled kids have a problem minding their own damn business and all they want to do is mind yours??? I didn't think so. So **** off and pray for your hypocritical self!!!

Wow..You REALLY don't need to be a mother at all.This is not a rant,it's a hate speech! This is a CHILD and you talk about her like she is an ADULT.You really make me sick.I support you,in the fact you KNOW your not the right kind of person she needs in her life.Get this: YOU KNEW HE HAD ANOTHER CHILD BEFORE YOU MARRIED HIM.

Yes she knew. But how the hell was she to know the daughter was a little ****??? You don't know until you try and then its too late. Ever cut your hair off because you thought it looked great in the picture but come to find out it made you look ugly and it was undisciplined and unruly and completely unmanageable once you got home and had to style it yourself the next day? Yep same thing, only on a more life altering scale.

I do the same stay out till her mother come, or like now am in the room till her mother comes, i have been their since she was 2 and just the other day she has the guts to tell me that am not her dad and that her mum has been both dad and mum. i feel like a prisoner in my house but what hurts most is that the mother sides with it all. but i have a plan. All the best.

I completely undertand all of these stories. I thought I was the only one dealing with this situation. Although, I have a great husband, he has three kids where the oldest is 26, and pretty much has her own life, and is very respectful, and the other two which are 19 and 17, are demons from hell. (These two have a different mom). Currently, we do not have any kids, still working on that, but with all the stress, I'm wondering if it will ever happen...To make a long story short, the 19 and 17 year old have been brainwashed, and manipulated, every since there were young. It has become worse because my husband went to court to fight for custody for the 17 year old daughter when she was 14 back in 2009. He won custody hands down because the mother was proven to be abusive, showed differences with her other kids, which she has a total of 4; the other two are by different men; moving from place to place with section 8, different men around, and married to a guy in prison, can't keep a job, habitual liar, thief, and the list goes on and on....the son at the time wanted to live with his mom behind the scene making up lies as well; so thats why the daughter ended up living with us. When she came to live with us the first time, my husband enrolled her into a very good high school (she was so behind in school credits because her mom had moved so much, she had been to at least 5-10 schools prior). The first time she lived with us for about 8 months or so maybe even close to a year, all of sudden, she becomes defiant, plots a story with her mom and brother and calls department of children services. She lies on me, my husband, steals his cell phone in the middle of the night when she ran away, stole jewerly from me, (The piece to my wedding band, fashionable jewerly I had long before she came to move in with us, and other personal items of mine.) My husband did not know she had ran away until the next morning when we woke up...Finds out the mom had checked her out of the high school without his permission..so this was planned. My husband talks to department of children services while under this investigation and explains everything to them, they even came out to the home to interview the both of us. All of the allegations that she lied about were unfounded and we were cleared, and the case was closed.. Months go by, the daughter calls back basically crying and saying that her mom made her do it (same story she is using today) My husband believes her, and she comes back into my home. I obviously was pissed off because I knew it was not over. She comes back and this time, my husband enrolls her into another high school 10 minutes away from the house. I even asked a co-worker to use her address to get her into this school. Everything appears to be okay, but again she becomes defiant not wanting to listen, she love boys, didn't want to clean up behind herself, always want to hit the streets on the weekend, couldn't live without the cell phone, to the point to where she ate, slept, and took pictures of herself with the cell phone; which we later found out their were pictures of her pratically naked.) Anyway, for the second time because my husband didn't agree with everything that she asked for; she runs away for the second time, meets her mom and the local police station, and make allegations that my husband inappropriately touched her..The entire family could not believe that she had the ordacity to make up a horrible lie, and potentially get my husband arrested for some crap he would definitely not do, and ruin his career..Of course she goes back to live with her devious mom again. As the investigation is being conducted this time, two months or so go by, and she picks up the phone with her brother on the phone saying that her mom made her do it, she didn't mean to lie, so she tells my husband, she would call the same police department that she had previously gone to and confess that everything she said about him touching her was a lie..She does call and speaks to the detective on the case, and he records everything, and he tells my husband, I knew she was lying on you, I have seen similar cases like this...There were no charges filed and the case closed. Here we are again dealing with a bunch of lies...still trying to live your life, but you have tainted kids that are liars; and yes I know that it is a learned behavior......Months go by again, she's now calling her grandmother and my husband trying to make piece with everyone so that can come back around, and it works for the third time...but this time, my husband decides if I let you come back, I think it will be best for you to stay with your grandmother, and go to school with your cousin, and maybe she can mentor you, and you can have someone to basically watch you since the cousin was a senior at the high school. He enrolls again in the 3rd high school (she's obvioulsy still behind,with 9th grade credits). He's still doing his fatherly duties by seeing her everyday, buying her clothes, bus passes, enrolled her into drill team; which the total cost would have been 900.00 for the entire year. Again, as time goes on, she appears to be doing okay, her grades even improve for a brief moment, all of a sudden, she meets this boy, she's now not going to classes, not going to drill team practices, getting home late, talking back to her grandmother, etc...My husband puts his foot down by telling her he's going to take her cell phone, and stop her from seeing this boy, and what did he say that for, all of a sudden, she becomes this demon, now she's plotting with her mom again, by calling her saying she ready to leave and go back with her. She runs away for the third time, calls department of children services again, and make some allegations against now her grandmother and the other family members that live in the home...Investigations are now being conducted. She has recently come clean again by text messages and voice mail saying once again, my mom made me do it...She's jeapardized everyone that comes in contact with her, and this all she can say....I am so pissed off and tired, and my husband is obvioulsy tired of all the lies, but of course he obligated.. Although, she has come clean, she is not 18 yet (can't wait), but now my husband has to go to court soon to still prove himself and clear his name so that we can hopefully move forward with this marriage...and when you look at all the times he has forgiven this girl, all he was trying to do was help her to make her have a better life, but now our marriage is suffering, and I'm to the point, I can't take it any more. With the help of prayer, family and friends, everyone is telling me just see what happens after this court case..... So for those of you that don't understand how it feels, walk in someone elses shoes that has shared their personal stories, and then you can comment...It's not fun constantly trying to defend yourself, especially when everything is a complete lie, and it keeps being proven that we are not bad people, and his daughter keep confessing that her mom made her do it. At what point does she take any responsibility for anything? I'm just hoping that we can prevail from this because this time this can make or break this marriage.<br />
<br />
Signed, <br />
<br />
Disgusted and Tired

My husband and I have been together for 12 years. When I first came along his son was seven and living with him, and his 3 year old daughter and 12 year old step daughter were visiting every other weekend and the son would visit the mother every other weekend. One night in those early years I was visiting when all three were there, we had been together about 3 months at this point. It was getting rather Late and I thought I would leave, the 3 year old was in bed and the son and his stepdaughter were up playing it was roughly 8:30 in the evening So I announced I was leaving, and the 12 year old stepdaughter says "oh you shouldn't walk home alone it's too late and dark, you should drive her home dad". As the relationship was new, my now husband felt guilty and agreed, but I insisted that it was no trouble as it was only a block away and I had walked it a billion times even later, and the three year old was in bed and we would have to get <br />
her up ect... Then his stepdaughter starts saying, "but dad I can look after the kids" her words, and that her mother and new step daddy let her do it all the time, and they have a newborn that they let her look after,(Yes the mother has four kids to three different fathers) and they go out all night and you guys will only be a few minutes. As she finished desperately pleading her case to be taken as a responsible young person, my hubby suspiciously agreed, but was firm and said do not answer the door or phone, I will be two minutes, all along I kept saying no it's o.k. So we leave and we get around the corner and my husband gives me his mobile and tells me to call his house to see if she answers as a little test. The phone was engaged, so the little brat was on the phone.<br />
The next day was a Saturday morning that I will never forget, I was super excited because we were going to take the kids to a fun park, I get to my now husbands house and here he is packing all his stuff as though he is moving. I said " what's happening? Where are the kids?" Then through a slight sob he starts telling me that when he got home he started questioning his step daughter,( whom he raised since she was a baby) about who she was talking to and she wouldn't answer him so he sent her off to bed, his seven year old son followed, then he gets a knock at the door, and it's the bio mum's butch lesbian sister, yelling" how dare you leave those kids alone! "I am taking them." With that she snatched the three year old from her bed and marched out with all three of them, just before leaving he stopped his son and said, " do you really want to leave?" and the son simply said yes. Which was the worst for my husband because he had complete custody of him after the mother got rid of him at age four when she didn't want him. My husband was a wreck, he couldn't eat or sleep, hoodwinked by a twelve year old. After that he was only allowed supervised visits at the local Mc Donalds, for three hours every second Sunday, it was first proposed that the stepdaughter go along, but my husband refused any further contact, as he couldn't trust her anymore. Then one day my husband gets the news that they are moving to the other side of the country, even more crushing. For the next three or so years we only saw them for three weeks each Christmas, and each month we would send a care package, and call them each fortnight. The son called us one night crying that he had made a huge mistake and he wanted to come home, that was heartbreaking because court orders were in place and the mother didn't listen to her kids pleas. Throughout this time, the mother changed the kids names to her surname, poisoned their minds with parental alienation, cut off all contact until I wrote to her, did everything in her power to be completely difficult. Then one day out of the blue we hear they are moving back to our state but still a couple of hours drive away, then still we were only able to see his two kids every six months or so. For years she would train these two into saying that the stepfather and his family were the kids real family, the kids loved me but would repeat the horrible things she would train them to say, like your dad can't have kids cause he had a vasectomy, which was true, but little did she know he had had it reversed. But it was still hurtful to me cause we wanted a child together and weren't certain that the operation was a success.<br />
Fast forward a few years by the time his son was 17 and his daughter was 13, we welcomed a son, this sent the birth mother to be institutionalized, because of severe alcoholism she blamed all of her problems on my husband, by this time they had been divorced 13 years, she had remarried another guy with whom they share an eleven year old daughter, they had by this time divorced because she never worked, and spent his money like crazy and slept around. The eldest daughter my husbands stepdaughter had moved into a trailer with a boyfriend, it was so crazy, always has been.<br />
By the time my baby turned one, my husband starts getting phone calls from his daughters school which is three hours away, saying that she is severly malnourished and neglected, so with the help of school counsellors, she came to live with us by the time she was 14. Without any fuss from the alcoholic mother. By this time the son who my husband desperately misses moved in with his girlfriend and her family, and has very little interest in visiting us unless he can cash in. ( just like the mother) he still goes by her surname. Right when hubby and I had our baby, he got engaged to his girlfriend, and used the apparent ring that his mother was given by his father when he was born, while my hubby protests there is no such thing. The son also makes flippant comments like: "It will be a sad day when mom dies" and "my mom is a lady" and "I remember when it was just me and dad" and so on. But the daughter who now lives with us has changed her name to ours, but because of her upbringing, she is not so great at school, suffers chronic asthma cause mom and stepdad smoked around her, she was getting drunk at ten, arrested for shop lifting at 12, kissing 18 year olds at 13, was barely fed, she is happy with a mayonnaise sandwich or garlic or plain butter. Now after living with us for a year and a half it is hard to get her on the right track, cause sometimes we see the light but then she goes back to spend time with her mothers side of the family, and slides right back into old habits because there are no rules. But we can not keep her from them. The step dad seems to have this weird hold over her also, even though he is divorced from the mother she speaks to him the most out of the two if them. My husband has no connection with her cause he never raised her, it has all been lumped on me, and I have bonded with her over the years but I guess a lot changes when you are all of a sudden made to parent a teenager. She was also self harming and anorexic to top it all off. It amazes me that someone who tried so hard to keep her from us, could now not give two rats about her. My husbands ex stepdaughter who was in the middle of all this rubbish has now cut off her mother and wants to make amends with us saying she was her mothers puppet, but she still doesn't hold much integrity to me, as she is shacked up with a guy but is pregnant to another guy.(like mother, like daughter) All in all step children suck, if your potential next parter has children run for the hills. It never ends, the nasty comments, the parental alienation, the mental toll, and most of all it usually does not matter how bad a person the biological parents happen to be, the kids will still hold them in a higher regard than the step parent, it is primal instinct. I travel the world as a classically trained singer, have a masters degree, come from old money but am not usually a bragger. Am related to celebrity, have featured on television many times have eight properties, can speak three languages have won many awards, and donate to charity, but at the end of the day they only care about their alcoholic mother who finished school in grade 9, and that's it, apart from all of the above and then some. Why is the world so unfair

I can't believe there are other people out there that feel the same way in do. I started to think I was the worst person in the world to dislike my husbands daughter (can't even call her my step daughter). She really hasn't been in our lives. Her mother took off with her shortly after she was born and I met her dad a couple of years later, I was young and naive and didn't think him having a kid was a big deal, especially because she didn't even live in the same state as us. Now fast forward 16 years and she is 18 and I have an infant and she is slowly trying to become part of her fathers life. He doesn't see it but it is for no other reason then for $$. <br />
<br />
If I only knew how I would feel towards my husband for having a daughter that wasn't mine I might not have ever married him. I resent him everyday for the fact that our child was not his first, I feel like it wasn't as special for him. <br />
<br />
Sorry back to the daughter, she has been in some serious trouble lately with boys and drugs and now she is supposedly cleaning herself up and wants to stay with us for a little while. Is it wrong for me not to feel comfortable with her in my house with my son?? I don't want her around him. God if my idiot husband would have just bagged it that night 18 years ago when he himself was 18!!

To anyone judging, you just can't. You cannot know what you are getting into until you are living it. And every situation is different. There may be one step parent that adores their step kids and another that absolutely hates them. There are different personalities and situations involved. I would love to want my stepkids around and to truly love them. It would make things so much easier! But you can't help how you feel, only how you act. Lucky for me, my husband had stepkids when he was with his kids' mom, and knows what I'm feeling and dealing with. He has even said that he never loved them and would never want to be a stepparent again knowing what it's <br />
like.

I feel your pain!! I came here tonight because my stepdaughter made me so darn angry it's all I could think about. Thing is, she is only 7 and is generally an ok kid. She has a weird personality sometimes and has said some rude hurtful things to/about me in the past when I used to really try with her. Now that I have my son I don't even bother with anything I don't have to besides feeding her dinner and picking her up from school, but I still resent her. I honestly wish so bad that she just didn't exist!! That is mean I know, but it's how I've always felt about her..always! Ugh.

When I grew up I had a stepmother that I never got along with. She never really made me feel welcomed or loved. I am older now and married to a man with a daughter. Lets just say I dont blame my stepmother anymore. I dont think that my stepdaughter is horrible in any way (yet). But I can't seem to love her or really want her around. Her smell Irritates me, her voice, her weird disgusting habbits etc. I really wish I knew before I got married that I might feel this way. I hate this about myself but I dread when she comes over. I have my own girls which are now 1 and 2. Ever since my husband and I got together he forced me to watch her every other week since she was 2. At the time I was pregnant and out of work so it was fine. But she was in her terrible twos and it was frusterating. Especially potty training which took over 2 years to complete. Her father never changed a diaper and never cleaned up after her or spent any real time with her. Now that after I have had my own children I'm still forced to watch her and I hate it. He still doesn't spend much time with her and its like hes pawning his problems off on me. I really just wish school would start so I dont have to deal with this as much. I have enough to worry about and take care of.

I was a stepchild too, who totally gets it now. I could tell stepmom wasn't a mean person, but she really didn't like me at all, instead of taking it personally, I wish I had learned it just sucks to be obligated to a child that legitimately or not you just don't want to be around. And you don't really get it until it's too late for everyone and there is no good decision.

I Really agree w person that said u can't understand until it happens to you. It happened to me too and I'm reverting marrying my husband because of his son (who's 18 now) and his brat (now 9). She's come so far as to lie to my husband about me supposedly saying that she was nothing but trouble &amp;u that she should stay w her mother. Which I admit I feel that way, but those words were never uttered out of my mouth. HE said it to her! And now she DEMANDS an apology before she comes to visit in summer!!!

Some of the stories I'm seeing on this post make me sick.

Now here's a different perspective on the situation. I'm seventeen years old, and I hate my mother's boyfriend more than hate itself. They've been together since I was eleven. He hates me as well, but I honestly never did anything wrong... We lead a bit different lifestyles. He loves to stay up all night and partake in illegal activities and keep everyone awake, while I'm a junior in high school, an honors student, and I need my sleep! I try to tell him, nightly, but he won't listen. I guess when someone takes ten or twenty pills, they lose concern for others... Every single night, EVERY SINGLE NIGHT, he'll wake me up at least once. I carefully and cautiously come upstairs to ask him politely to please, please keep it down... And he screams at me, throws things, and refuses. I don't know what to do. I never feel well for lack of sleep, my grades are suffering, we're hating each other more and more daily, and there's nothing I can do. In my house, I was raised to be the mature and responsible one; I'm the oldest of five children, and I'm more like a parent most of the time than a sibling. I have to remind my mom daily when we need to go grocery shopping, when she needs to pay the bills, etc. This wouldn't be so horrible, but I have the responsibility of a parent, and the power of a small child. One night, after years of abuse (much more than I've mentioned here; he also doesn't allow me to eat or ridicules me when I do because I "should lose weight," etc...) I snapped and told him that if he can't show any respect for anyone, he needs to leave. He responded by throwing a vase at me (narrowly missing my head and smashing it into the wall behind me) and telling me that I need to f***ing leave. I informed him that this is MY house (This is true; my grandmother left it in my name). My point being, that I have no power to say when something needs to be done. My MAIN point being... I'm not telling you ladies and gentlemen that your situation is this severe, by any means, but maybe the step-child's behavior is partially your fault. You've all mentioned being stolen from, being disrespected, lied to, etc. Maybe this is your step-child's defense. Try talking to him or her, asking why they do the things they do. If you treat him or her civally, rationally, respectfully, and maturely, you could be surprised by their response. Maybe it WAS you who did something, but you were too busy criticizing his or her behavior to realize something you did had upset the child. If you feel this would not produce great results, have another family member, or family friend, talk to the child. I know from experience that if a child has an issue with a step-parent, he or she is more than willing to discuss it with anyone who will listen. <br />
I hope I shed a new light on this subject for you. It CAN be your fault, even if you don't realize you did anything wrong. Please, you're middle-aged ladies and gentlemen. Use logic and rationality. Be the bigger person.

You need to report this abuse. You dont deserve to be treated like this and your mother is not protecting you. At least when you turn 18 you can be completely on your own.

You are an amazing kid. Even if you weren't, you wouldn't deserve what you are dealing with. Now imagine you are grown up and as wonderful as you seem to be, and most of your decisions have been good, and you're saint like in your behavior, and you marry a man with a child that you decide to devote yourself to and despite your every effort (and based on your reasoned discusion they would be stellar efforts) you had a person in your household that behaved like your stepfather or worse. You perhaps wouldn't feel safe leaving your children with them, leaving them alone in your house, with pets, etc. You can't leave because then your children would certainly be alone with them and your staying just makes your miserable. You don't want things to be unpleasant for anyone, but this person is ruining their own life and they are going to take you and everyone your love and everything you care about with them. Maybe your step dad had some really horrible life experiences, maybe he was born a sociopath, but at some point you are really not going to care either way, you will just want you and your family to be safe and happy. Unlike you, we all had a choice about getting into our situations, unfortunately, sometimes we don't realize we are in over our heads until it's too late.
What you are going through is not your fault. Rise above it as much as you can and keep making decisions that will be good for you. Most of us would give anything to have a stepdaughter like you, and we would give you the support you deserve. Unfortunely, we didn't get you, and we're doing what we can with what we did get. Your words are definitely awesome and may help someone.

Thank you for your kind words. I'm mature enough and smart enough to understand situations such as my mother's, but too much is too much... I'm only saying that these "parents" need to realize when something is their own fault.

I really feel sorry for you. But let's look at this in another point of view: How can this guy do this to you? He is not even your step-father.
No matter if you admit or not, my feeling is: he can do this to you because your mom gives him the authority. Have you talked to you mom about this? What's her reaction? Why can't she just dump this guy because he is hurting you? She didn't protect you. But still, I don't see a word of blaming your mother instead of your mother's BF. I think your mom's BF definitely is a trash, but at the same time, your mom is not a good mom too.
Did you see the point here: Step-children always blame their step parents. And you just prove this.

I blame my mother as well. She\'s not made great decisions. She\'s tried to make him leave, though, and he downright refuses. She won\'t get the police involved, in good reason. They\'ve done nothing but add to the problems. Things are looking up now, as horrible as it may seem to be saying this... He has cancer. Super advanced stage 4 cancer in multiple areas. He doesn\'t have much longer. For this reason, I\'m trying to be tolerant of him. I\'m doing my best. All I can think, though, is that karma is a beautiful *****.

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Do y'all think that's right what yall are saying?? I am 13 years old.. Y'all should be ashamed of yourselves. Do y'all know how childish you sound.. Y'all act younger than me.. Do u think God wants y'all to say those things.. Ur suppose to except everyone no matter how they are.. Your just jealuse of someone else's kids... Get Over yourself. Excuse my language but Y'ALL ARE ****** INSAIN GET A ****** LIFE.

You said basically the same thing I did, but you helped their point, honey...

I have a completely mirrored situation!! I HATE MY STEPDAUGHTER TOO!!and I too had I known that she would have to live with us n ruin our relationship with my own two daughters n new baby boy together, I'd never have gotten together ever with him!! Her mum (his ex) became a crackheads n basically sent kids to children's aid so we get stun with now 5 kids instead of my two n baby!! The both of the kids r so needy n have Psych problems!!!! AHHHHH HELP I WANT THEM OUTTA MY LIFE MY HOUSE MY HEAD my EARS!! I can't wait till their old snuff so I can kick them out!!! I never will accept them as my own, they still don't get how to behave n its goin on three damn years!! Lost causes I wish wed never taken on the responsibility! I CAN'T STAND THEIR LOOKS THEIR VOICE THEIR COMPLAINTS THEIR STUPIDITY N BAD INFLUENCES...ARGGGGG GET OUT!!

Now this I DON'T LIKE.I understand that some people have problems with their step children but you sound like you LOVE your own and HATE them? Come on! YOUR KIDS ARE NOT MORE SPECIAL THAN HIS.GROW UP! I cannot STAND when a woman/man marries someone and "doesn't want to EVER except them as their own" You should have THOUGHT ABOUT THAT BEFORE YOU EVER MARRIED HIM THEN!

I have a completely mirrored situation!! I HATE MY STEPDAUGHTER TOO!!and I too had I known that she would have to live with us n ruin our relationship with my own two daughters n new baby boy together, I'd never have gotten together ever with him!! Her mum (his ex) became a crackheads n basically sent kids to children's aid so we get stun with now 5 kids instead of my two n baby!! The both of the kids r so needy n have Psych problems!!!! AHHHHH HELP I WANT THEM OUTTA MY LIFE MY HOUSE MY HEAD my EARS!! I can't wait till their old snuff so I can kick them out!!! I never will accept them as my own, they still don't get how to behave n its goin on three damn years!! Lost causes I wish wed never taken on the responsibility! I CAN'T STAND THEIR LOOKS THEIR VOICE THEIR COMPLAINTS THEIR STUPIDITY N BAD INFLUENCES...ARGGGGG GET OUT!!

Here is all simple. She feel power other you, but you are afraid of her. Don`t afraid her, be better. I give you good advice : ,, Beat her by her ,,arms,,`` You will see, she will change.

And I thought I was alone. OMG. How I hate the fact that he gives in to every whim and desire of hers. I have 3 children from my first marriage and he died. I met him and he said his daughter lives away from him, but she comes home every weekend. Now we are expecting our first child together and he is not excited. His dillemma is whether his daughter will accept the baby. My 3 kids totally accept the idea of me having a new baby. the eldest is 14, the same age as his spoilt brat. She is always Dad this and Dad that even when I am around. I have not seen someone as jealous as this brat. She goes to the most expensive school while my 3 kids go to a charity school. He gives her presents which cost the earth while he scrimps on me and my kids. I dont know how he is going to treat my new baby with this brat around!

It sounds like your problem is with the father, not the child.

dpbg,
The problem is almost always really with the parents. They usually create the problem with bad parenting, but think of when you are subjected to a super bratty kid, you don't always automatically think, "Man that kid's parents are really bothering me." And people aren't bad parents because they want to be, they just don't know how, or they don't know how to implement good parenting.