I Can't Stand My Stepdaughter

My stepdaughter acts as a spy for her mother and stepfather. Every time she comes over she reports every single little detail to her mother and stepfather. She tells lies to her mother and for her mother. My husband and his ex are back and forth in court thanks to this child. When my stepdaughter comes around she acts very cold towards only me. I tried reaching out to her but she doesn't budge. I don't like her at all and what makes it even worse is that I cannot have children of my own so I constantly have to see his child which hurts me.

Let me start from the beginning. I have been with my husband for a year now. We met, fell in love, and wanted to be married asap. He was in high school when he knocked up a premiscuous girl. When I came into the picture, he wasn't seeing his daughter the way a father should have. We later found out it was because the mother of his daughter lied to everyone about his whereabouts.

The mother of his child:
- lied to her husband before they were married and said the father (my husband) was never around and she was doing everything by herself
- said the father (my husband) was an older guy who knocked her up when she was in hgh school
- her husband never even knew the father (my husband) was seeing their daughter at her mom's house

So **** hit the fan when I met a woman who was my stepdaughter's stepfather's cousin!! (Sorry if that's confusing) We were talking and found out we had something in common. She tells me about a young woman in her family that married her older cousin and everyone thinks she is just their for the money. Come to find out, that's the mother of my husband's daughter she was talking about. So now I reveal how my husband has always been around and she reports the lies and truth back the their family.

So, the fact that I have a constant lying stepdaughter stems from her mother's lies. Now every since her mother has gotten caught, my stepdaughter has been extra mean towards me. I feel it's all her mother's doing and possibly what the mother has been telling her. But this is an 8 year old girl. She is too young to be acting this way. Now she's their spy. Everything my husband and I do is thrown in our face via text message by the mother. If we talk about vacation around the daughter, she reports it to her mother. Anything petty, gets reported as well! Ugh!
AnnoyedStepMom AnnoyedStepMom
22-25, F
3 Responses Aug 5, 2010

She's eight-years old!!!!<br />
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Stop blaming her for the problems ADULTS are causing.

I'm in the same boat.<br />
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We have to be soooo careful what we do & say around my sd because she's a little tattle tale. One day we were talking & she said she wanted to go on a picnic so I told her we'll carry her to the Botanical Gardens & we'll have a fun picnic. She was excited. The next time I saw her "my mommy said people get robbed in the Botanical Gardens & dont carry me there".Mind u, no1 gets robbed there. The mom just tries to control everything & the idea of us having a picnic was prob too much for her to bare.<br />
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The bio mom keeps a journal of everytime we see / call her. What time the dad picks her up, drops her off, what we did, where we went, did we have her permission to go to that place, what was the child wearing.... & dont talk about the finances! She records EVERYTHING. So I'm certain she sits her daughter & grills her when she comes home from our home. I dont blame the child.

To SurviveRecover: Anytime I leave town, talk about vacation, buy new things or anything else that's considered normal, should not be reported to my SD's mother. As long as she is taken care of (child support paid, half of school and medical bills paid to the mother....etc) then there is nothing else the mother needs to know. We (the father and I) don't ask any questions about the mom and her stepfather. It's none of our business, so I expect the same respect.<br />
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To lyndallh05: I understand totally. The father and I will be having our actual wedding ceremony in Puerto Rico and when the SD reported this to her mother; the text messages came hard like daggers. She had the audacity to put me down and say I don't deserve a ceremony and that money should be put in an account for my SD. She doesn't know what I deserve. And my SD gets everything she wants in both households. What more does she need???