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Adult Stepdaughter Causes Arguments Between Us

I moved in with my partner about six months ago and we have a baby together ...anyway to cut a long story short my partners daughter who is 22 was already living there for a while( she had moved out before becuase she was arguing with my partners ex and it caused a fight between him and his partner and this was partly the reason they broke up.
Recently his daughter caused  a huge row by involving his other adult daughters who do not live with us and all have their own families etc  by complaining to them about me being in the house and my child getting in the way with toys and bottles etc.they had a meeting with me which turned into an attack ...I was very upset and angry about some of the things said as i was told that this meeting was a chance to build bridges and hold out an olive branch ..and it ended up in being a slanging match about how i should not have got involved with their father and broke his last relationship up (which was over anyway and they hated each other) my partner was also completely unaware of what they were planning they basically attacked me to try to push me out of the house verbally ..after this they proceeded to try to cause more problems by inviting my partner and my baby out to dinner but make a point of not invting me..my partner was very suportive and picked them up about their behaviour at the time and just said we were all to try and get on and be civil with each other regardless what  opinions we have of each other..
since then the daughter that lives in the house has continued to find fault ..complain etc and i hear about all the things she is saying though my partner..i suggested that i cook a meal for his family to settle them and keep them happy and he thought this was a great idea..i did and it went ok although his eldest made some inflammatary comments which i ignored  about the cooking which was excellent and the rest of the family enjoyed it immensely. I still feel angry about what was said and his daughter is still complaining about whatever she can..but my partner has said he does not want me attacking his daughter..so i am not allowed to even speak to her about the issues even though she lives in the same house.

I am at the point which i have told my partner where i  would be more at peace in my own home if i moved out ..i have about two months till i can financially afford to get my own place for me my partner and baby  but i feel like this situation is tearing our relationship apart i dont want to have sex with my partner because of the stress and now he feels rejected.... not sure what the best thing to do is???!!!my partner says if i leave then it would be the end of the reltionship  and that he will not move his daughter out  either
I guess i just have to wait for a couple of months and then move us out me my partner and baby and tolerate her moaning in the meantime beacuse i am not alowed to adress her about anyhting otherwise my partner will be furious with me and say i am attacking his precious daughter

kirstenhummerstone kirstenhummerstone 36-40 3 Responses Dec 6, 2010

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I absolutely hate my adult stepdaughter also. She is 23 years old. Today was just the straw that broke the camels back when we found out that she is working as a ********. She has two little half sisters she should be trying to be a role model for. I am embarassed that I have the same last name as her. And it isn't just current issues. From the time she was 9 when I met her, she was rude, obnoxious and deceitful. She is really one of the most manipulative people I know, telling me stories about how everyone at school would make fun of her for being a virgin when she had been having sex for years. She betrayed my trust too many times to have anything left with her. She has caused so many arguments between my husband and I that I am just so done with it. I want to leave and be on my own but I have 3 smaller kids that I worry about. I don't want them to be damaged by the divorce but I also know that ever day they are hearing arguments and seeing that I am extremely unhappy and have been for years. Anyways, just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. Step kids seriously suck. I hate that I am in a blended family and wish I had never gotten married to someone with kids. It will NEVER work the way people want it to, no matter how hard they pretend it will.

I absolutely hate my adult stepdaughter also. She is 23 years old. Today was just the straw that broke the camels back when we found out that she is working as a ********. She has two little half sisters she should be trying to be a role model for. I am embarassed that I have the same last name as her. And it isn't just current issues. From the time she was 9 when I met her, she was rude, obnoxious and deceitful. She is really one of the most manipulative people I know, telling me stories about how everyone at school would make fun of her for being a virgin when she had been having sex for years. She betrayed my trust too many times to have anything left with her. She has caused so many arguments between my husband and I that I am just so done with it. I want to leave and be on my own but I have 3 smaller kids that I worry about. I don't want them to be damaged by the divorce but I also know that ever day they are hearing arguments and seeing that I am extremely unhappy and have been for years. Anyways, just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. Step kids seriously suck. I hate that I am in a blended family and wish I had never gotten married to someone with kids. It will NEVER work the way people want it to, no matter how hard they pretend it will.

Oh god , you are going through it , Your partner must feel like he is the one in the middle , trying to keep you happy and then his daughter as well , He loves you but he loves his daughter as well ,<br />
The best thing to do is step back let him have a relationship with his daughter and your baby as well.<br />
Pretent it isnt bothering you , don't let her get to you , and I know this is going to be hard , but she one day will be living away from home and married with her own family , then you and your partner and baby can get your lifes back . <br />
She is jealouse of you and seeing you with her dad upsets her , she is behaving like a spolt child and need to grow up .If she wants her dad in her life she needs to know your not going any where and for her dads sake try and get on with you .<br />
One day I hope you can be friends , and if not it's her loss .<br />
As for inviting just your partner and baby is terrible ,cruel and selfish of them all , I'm so glad your partner stuck up for you , good on him . he need to do this more then she will know you come first , the both of you must come first in this relationship then the kids , Then they all know where they stand here . Good luck and happiness for the future , DON"T WALK OUT stay and make it work .