I Dont Hate Her I Am Just Overly Pissed At Her

 I have known my step daughter for atleast 9 yrs now. thats how long her father and i have been together. now I became her stepmother only 4 yrs ago. I dont understand what happen. At first it was really great. She has always been srta shy n quiet but really nice. I loved being her stepmother I bragged about her all the time. Now she grew up with her grandparents because her real mother gave her up the day she was born and my husband didnt know he was a father till the day she was born. I never had a problem with my stepchild's family. Only her mother. but i hardly ever saw her or talk other so no big deal. Even after we gave her a sister my husbands child became more involved and was always willing to be part of family events. we didnt ask much out of her only to be part of her sisters life. we take her shopping if we could if we had the money for it we take her sister to see her at school or at her grandparents house when she was home from collage. It wasn't until about a yr ago when i gave birth to our son she had started to change. She has only seen her brother for 10 mins out of his whole life and he is 18 months now. She refuses to call ont heir birthday, holidays. She still talks to my husbands parents but not us. She has been very balgeriant to both of us and now she lives int eh same town as her bio mom she has had her mother threaten us and be extremely rude. I personally have no idea what could have caused her to be so mean. She is 21 now and sh called her father only to tell him she never asked for this life never asked for siblings and didnt like me calling her my child. I lost my trewmper ( being a redhead) and yes i said some pretty and i mean very narley nasty things to her. After the fact i asked her to keep her doors of communication open with her siblings not to puncish them for what ever reason she is mad at her father and me for. She accused him of getting anew fmaily. Look i have a half brother older then me and I understand a lil bit of what she is going thru. She sees her dad with a nother life but she was never cut out she was there first even if he never did raised her. I never ment to take over if that is how she sees it. but i dont understand why she has to be so extreme as to getting her mother who wanted nothing to do with her untill she became of party age and her friends who have no idea what really is going on other then one sides story. I wish my step daughter would drop what ever this funk is and get over herself and realize we are not the bad guys and if we knew what really was wrong we would do everything in our power to help fix it. She does know this. i love her, i just cant stand my family hurting when there shouldn't be a reason for all this. She has me blocked from everything I figure over time she will see the what a waste this all was and realize we are here no mater what. i just hope its sooner then later i dont want my kids to grow up without their sister.
RDavenport RDavenport
4 Responses Apr 18, 2012

im so sorry to hear that....she hasnt done that in fact my husbands family has been getting the same treatment from her mother and grandparents on her mother side. his whole family threw out her life have tried and always got the boot. so im lucky on that i guess. but i agree it has to b her jealousy..i cant think of anything else. i hope she gets over herself. I hope the best for you too

It is probably jealousy. My step daughter, who was 11 when I met her, and 12 when I started dating her dad, has always been extremely jealous of me. She hid it at first, but now she does everything she can to make EVERYONE in her dad's family hate me , as well as her two older brothers. She lies, about me to all of them, and even though they all told me what a liar she (and her mother) is, they choose to believe her. She did everything she could to break her dad and I up and when it didn't work, she started on her brother's, mother and all her dad's family, and it is working. Fortunately most of them live across the country from us. I no longer visit my husband's family with hime when he goes because of this

well she was the one who left her daughter the day she was born. and she never once made it a thing to get back with my husband when she had 15 yrs to take a chance. also when we had our kids her mother was happy for my husband and was even happy when we got married. so i dont think she is hurt my husband got a new fmaily. and first of there was no first family to begin with. My husband was sinlge was hardley allowed to even see his daughter he was alone. and when i started to date him i made it a point for himt o be with his daughter as mucha s possible id have to forvec him n threaten him if he didnt call her right back if she would call. i also talked to her about having kids with her dad and she was excited. not once did tell me no. I didnt make anew fmaily with her dad, he didnt have one to begin with. She was in his life first and i have always respected that. But thats no reason y her dad couldnt find love when her mother did it way way bfor he ever did. Im just upset that she dosnt want to be part of this family. she is punishing her dad for him trying to make a life for himself. and we have always bend over backwards to c her to talk to her jump thru fire n hoops and she never saw that but yet we r the bad ppl making excuses and not being there. there is so much more to this then i first put. i just want her to see we still love her she is part of this family no matter what and to keep contact with her brother and sister

Maybe her mother showed how hurt she was about her dad having a new family and since the daughter felt bad for her mom she is acting the way she has been.