An 11 Yr Old Nightmare!

Ever since I met my husband and his daughter, I knew she was trouble.  She is a manipulator and I cant stand her.  When she was 6 she would kick her dad, stomp on his foot or check him with her shoulder just because he brushed her hair!!!!  She hates the idea of pain, (dont we all?) But she goes overboard! About two years ago she kicked him so hard she dislocated his finger!!!!  Even to this day she gives us major issues about brushing her hair.  If it is not one thing it is another.  It used to be sleeping in her own bed. Dad used to let her sleep with him , so the first year I had to fight to keep her in her own bed.  My husband would have to go lay on her floor until she would go to sleep. Just to find that she had snuck in our room in the middle of the night to lay on our floor.   She was 6 then.  this lasted over a year.  We finally got past that and moved on to other things.  Now it is every time she is told no , we get into a yelling match and she ends up getting grounded.  I cant stand this.    I used to only have to deal with her on the weekends.   The worst of all of this is she just moved in with us about 6 months ago and it has been horrible.  Her mother is bipolar and is a major source of my stepdaughters "issues".  and she was having a hard time in school so I thought it would be better to have her safe in school with us and  we could have more weekends to ourselves. She lives with us during the week and goes to her moms on weekends.  But when she is here, if she doesnot get  told "yes" to everything, she huffs and puffs and throws little tempers.  She lies, cheats, and sneaks things. She will purposely go around me to ask her dad if she can have something.  Daddys problem is he is tooo much a yes man. 
She is such a brat,  I cant stand her.  and when she tries to hug me I can feel that there is no warmth in it.  I have tried so hard to be a good stepmom .  I hug her and talk to her and tell her that I love her but I really am not feeling it in my heart.  I used to, but since she moved in my feelings are really fading.   I think it is because when I discipline her, my husband tries to defend her like he is her bodyguard!!!!  Hello  teamwork?  Marriage?? Remember me your wife???  I have a son who is now starting to talk back due to copying his new bratty step sister.   My husband is starting to side with me a bit, but he has A LONG way to go.  Of course he loves her, but I am so sick of him trying to make excuses for her or try to make sure that I have all the facts before disciplining her.  I have never disciplined her for something she didnot do.   I cant wait til summer she will be gone for several weeks in a row.  Her mother has actually told me that she is happy to get breaks from her too.  She gives her mom as much trouble as she does me.   I feel like such a bad person, but sometimes I just want to punch her in the face!!!  I would never do it, but I sure feel like it.  What is wrong with me????
feelalonestepmom feelalonestepmom
4 Responses May 6, 2012

been there too, NOTHING IS WRONG WITH YOU, i said the same thing i would move out before she moved in, but one day the mother just dropped her at our front step and we live in different ends of the country (us east them west) anyway i was very against it, but ended up accepting her because of the way things happened, (she said her mom dropped her and left her alone, no cellphone, 12 yrs old) turns out, IT WAS ALL A LIE, the mother was right there watching from the corner we found out 3 months later, manipulation lies, it wasn't long enough before the mini manipulator made her own bed, trying to rule our house, disrespecting both me and my husband, even her own friends, so i know it is not personal, education is learned and she has learned to be a manipulating, lying, disrespectful bratt from her crazy mother. anyway, she went back. IF SHE EVER COMES BACK IM OUT, there will be an end to the madness in my life, i had the cops 4 times during the course of 3 days in my house, because she was grounded, so she had no internet, she still managed to get on the neighbors wi-fi, contacted her mom, and the mother sent the cops, because she was worried for her daughter, (YEAH RIGHT, then why did she drop her with us!!!) Her dad had to go get cameras and set them around the house because she was afraid about her getting us into trouble, he was so afraid he didn't even force her to give him the borrowed cellphone he gave her back, the cops had to take it away from her they were so sick of coming all the time, they had better real matters to take care of and this stupid bratt wasting everybody's time and creating unnecessary drama. She was even rolling her eyes at the cops when they were drilling down on her,.............................Anyway she is finally gone, and a disrespectful bratt can turn you into a crazy person that you really not recognize anymore,................ the further the better, hang in there, if there is any hope she will change, you will be thanked for the patience, if she doesn't have any remorse nor plans to change,.......... it comes out,............. trust me,.......... people that don't respect other people and that lie and manipulate, aren't that smart, they think they are but they aren't,.............. if her plan is to stay this way, it will be make it or break it, if if gets as bad as it got for me, and your husband doesn't stand by you, your sanity is worth running away. From my experience though, as they age, it starts getting less tolerable,............ it is insanely annoying to see a 12 year old throwing a fit,................. it is no longer even understandable, i mean this girl has bubs and is taller than me already.............. GROW-UP! or get -out.............. sorry, not sorry

If the mom is bipolar, good chance the kid is too. Have her tested. As bad as this may sound, she needs to be retrained. Old dogs can learn new tricks. Although a good swift kick in her *** might feel just as rewarding. That's the point where I'm at right now. You are not alone. I have a step daughter and she is horrible and getting worse. The lies, manipulation, exaggerated stories, "everyone misunderstands me".... The crap is old. I have a daughter. She would never behave this way because she would get her *** in trouble. My step daughter doesn't need a counselor, she needs a physiatrist. Plain and simple. Hang in there. I feel for you.

feel for you i have been marriaged to my hs for 4months and his d has created marry hell.she 26 married with a 6year old it like she his ex a living nightmare.problem is it turning me in to a ***** as hb will not do anythink were have all the men with back bones as if step daughers rule the world.

there's nothing wrong with u at all!!! its okay to feel the way u do. we all have at one point or another. Maybe talk to your hubby and ask for some free time just for the two of you like date nights sometimes it helps. best of luck. FYI our stories are remarkably similar but i would leave before the brat ever moved in.