My Stepdaughter & My Mental HealthLike most of you on here I have a similar experience with my SD. I always thought I was the only one until I was approached by someone at my work who asked me for some advice on dealing with her stepchildren. My SD is six years old...and she is a terror. In the three years that I have been with her father she has caused me to have two complete nervous breakdowns because of her behavior and how she treats me.
the catch is, she's only six. at her mothers house she is spoiled rotten and has become a miserable little girl. when I first met her we hit it off and got along great she enjoyed spending time with me and doing things with her father and I. she talked to me a lot about her day and what she liked to do. However when her father and I moved into a home together the story changed. whenever I am around she just stands there and gives me dirty looks and I tell her this is not appropriate or nice and she needs to stop. Her father tells her as well but to no avail. she makes me completely miserable and is essentially destroying my mental health one pout lip at a time.
we have her every other week for the entire week and it is a living hell for me. I dread Sundays when we have to pick her up and the entire week we don't have her all I do is count down the days until i am in hell with her again. she refuses to follow rules, refuses to listen and is not happy unless everything is about her...and i mean EVERYTHING. when you talk to her about anything whether it is her father or I she stares off into space and makes it very obvious she is not listening to you at all. any attempts to get her attention back is met with disdain and a dirty look.
her father and I are getting married soon and have talked about having children together however I am unsure because I am petrified she will abuse my children and/or her negative behavior will rub off on them. I believe in running a structured environment and having rules that every child follows just the same. In my house we do not act the way she does and I have told her this multiple times to no avail.
she refuses to let me help her with anything, let me near her or her room. the only time she will allow my attention is when I am buying her something. even then she shows no gratitude. in one day she destroyed a brand new dress I bought her just to do it. she is sneaky and she lies constantly to everyone. you never know what to believe because she barely tells any truth. I have mildly discussed this with my fiance and explained to him how things have to change. I have not told him however how his daughter ruins my day every time I see her. she drives me 100% nuts and she knows it and enjoys it. shes out of control and it is making me wonder sometimes if I am going to be able to stay in this home with my fiance and her.
please help me, I've run out of ideas!