Frustrated

it all started over 7yrs ago. my husband and i got married in aug of 2005. one month later, my step-daughter's mother unexpectedly pasted away. it was very sad, i felt very badly for my step-daughter, she was only 7yrs old. my father pasted away when i was 9, so i could relate and understand how difficult this would be for her. i welcomed her with open and loving arms. i went so far as to quit my job to be a stay at home mom, to help her adjust to all the changes in her life. i made a beautiful room for her and showered her with gifts. i read stories to her before she went to sleep, tucked her in with kisses and just generally tried to make her feel at home. she had other problems as well, she was a bit slow and had difficulty in school, reading was a big challenge. i put my all into helping her with those problems as well. it wasn't easy but eventually she settled in and started improving in school. she's 14 now, almost 15 and it's been a rough 7yrs. every little thing just seems so difficult with her and i've found that i just don't really like her as a person. i don't know if it's me or her or both. i'll be honest, i never wanted children. my step-daughter has problems, she's still a bit slow and she's immature for her age. all children are immature, what i mean is she acts like an 8yr old. which in some ways is good, she doesn't like boys yet! lol. but she has no interest in doing things for herself or learning new things, for example how to cook something simple. she enjoys talking like a baby, literally. i don't know if she thinks it's cute or what but it drives me nuts. in school she tattles on everyone, to the point that teachers have repeatedly complained to me about it. she's also very whinny, lies about things constantly (she thinks if she lies instead of telling the truth she won't get in trouble) and if you try to sit down and talk to her about something, she just shuts down and won't say a word, which is really frustrating because she refuses to tell me how she feels or explain her side of things. she not a bad kid, she's just really annoying and frustrating to deal with.
mimelmo mimelmo
41-45, F
2 Responses Sep 23, 2012

I have been looking online for stories that help me to understand that I am not alone! She isn't my stepdaughter yet, but she's 7, and her dad also has full custody due to a worthless mother. She has a hard time learning anything, she doesn't try at anything, she cries from everything, is probably the messiest human being alive, and they've lived with me in my place about 1year and a couple monhs. He's also not the most tidied person . It's really frustrating just trying to get used to a kid in the house, I also didn't want children. But I try and try and try to teach her to read, to put the hairbrush back where it goes, to not lie about things, help her with matching her clothes, snuggle time (very difficult when I'm so frustrated) but I know she needs my patience and support. But I need to vent about it! When I go to her dad with how frustrating it is trying to get her to do anything, he thinks I'm bad mouthing her. I went to parent teacher conferences, and we decided to get her tested for learning disabilities. I just don't know where to find any more patience. I'm losing it quick. I want my job back (also became stay at home to help him out with her), and for just a little tiny bit of help from either of them would be nice.

Wow, our stories are very similar, I'm just a bit further down this road than you are.
You are not alone my dear! Getting back to work is a great idea, it helped me a lot.

Ur lucky I wish my 14year old step daughter acted like a kid still instead she thinks she knows it all and a smart azz with an arrogant attitude! I raised her since she was 4years old, her two sisters and my son! The mother is a dead beat and not much help just only into raising her son by another and working not paying any child support! My step daughter is awful! She acts like an angel to other and only those who live with her know the truth!! She even beat up her dead beat mother! Her father never punished her for that and is always sided with her cuz she gets good grades! I tried my best with and may even try again tomorrow but she always have a smart azz mouth talking back and she gets what she wants even if we are broke!! My life sucks!