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Getting Rid of Yur Stepdaughter

I wanted to share my story because like all of you I hate my stepdaughter! However, I took action and got rid of her, from my life at least. I live with my fiance who had is 8 year old daughter every weekend when we first started dating. A year and a half later he sees her 3 to 4 hours every other weekend at his parents house. She is not allowed at our house because I don't want her too. I moved us further away from his parents so it takes him longer to drive, and I got rid of her room in our 3 bedroom home. She's an idiot, she'll be 9 this year and she can not even read and she's getting held back. I think it's histerical and to think I actually tried to help her in the beginning. None of her family cares enough to help her with schooling, but that is not the point. I wanted to give little details on how I did what I did so if it will work for any of you, you can use it! First I claimed we needed alone time, which got the visitation to every other week. Then he started working on weekends and I told him I am not his babysitter and I am not her mother so he has can not bring her to the house. Then one time when she was at our house (last year) she didn't listen to what I told her to do so I tore into her dad, he refused to talk to her about it so I told him that she is no longer allowed at our home. She hasn't been here in over 6 months! Since then I got rid of her bed and put a guest bed in the room, and I have been progressively throwing away her toys. Since we just moved into our new home they are still packed up so no one ever knows the difference. We moved another 30 to 45 minutes away from his parents house so by the time he gets off work on fridays he has no time to see her, and then he works saturday and then i let him go to sleep and don't wake him up so he dosen't go up there saturday until like 6. Then Sundays after work all he has time to do is go get her and take her home, which I join in on. I want to make sure she associates me with leaving and no seeing her dad. And sometimes I even fight with him when he goes to see her so he assoicates seeing her with us having problems, and sometimes he dosen't even go! Ladies trust me there are a million things you can do to move your stepdaughter further out of your life. Plan vacations on special events, demand that every other holiday you spend with your family (I did that one too, he hasn't had her in 2 christmas's!). Accidently have made plans with friends on her weekends, and tell your husband way before so he dosen't think to count the weeks and goes ahead and agrees! I love our life now that she's out of our lives, our relationship is so much better! Good luck!

cellens11 cellens11 18-21 190 Responses Jul 25, 2009

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Your are a Grade A piece of ****!! I can't believe you would ruin your husbands time/life with his daughter for your own selfish gain!! I hope to God he realizes what you did and leaves worthless ***!! That is so childish to just push her away like that, you realize that all you women in here are just trying to compete with his daughter for love!! As the father of a 7yr old daughter and having problems myself with my wife of almost 2yrs, i can tell you that there are times where the gloves come out but to just manipulate your husband like that is extremely elementary!! I guarantee you that most of you met your husbands daughters before you said yes, so there's no excuse for any of this! Life takes work, love takes work, and most of all family takes work!!!! Don't be so quick to take that selfish route because i have a feeling you all will regret it

You wouldn't break up your own family cuz your daughter has problems so don't break up his family!!!

This post is absolutely brilliant! Good for you for figuring out a way to rig yourself of such a burden. (Cue the applause)
I feel like a horrible person often wondering “How the hell did I become the evil step-mother?” I CANNOT STAND my SO’s daughter. I honestly care very much about his son and have a child of my own – all of them are under the age of 10 by the way. At first I tried to get close to the little girl but her bratty ways have completely turned me off to trying further. She’s been raised to where everyone feels bad for her cause her parents divorced – AND? Just because they divorced it does not mean that everyone has to make a big deal out of all her “cute” gestures and noises. (which are no longer cute after the age of 3 for any child). This kid is totally devoid of social skills and I would prefer for her to be shipped off to her mother, but then I reconsider because it would take a heavy toll on my SO’s income. My family and friends have also met both of these kids and have a really hard time warming up to this girl but go bonkers of over the little boy – he’s just easier to love. Also, she has this family defense mechanism where she’s always telling on my kid but never her brother, which makes me further dislike her. Like, seriously, she just smacked your brother to defend you and you’re crying, but you tell on my daughter for defending you and not your brother? We don’t condone any of them hitting each other but this is an example of thing she does that irritate me. Or tell my child something mean in a low voice to where she thinks no one can hear her then give a blank stare when you ask her about it, because my kid just read her her rights loud enough for us to hear. The way she walks, talks like a baby or totally exaggerated to the point where she sounds like a grown man, the way she’s a picky eater and the way she tells her brother not to call me mom (even though I’m the one that is with them all week) really make me hate her guts. I’ve gotten to the point where I tell my child and SO’s son that they’re my favorite in front of her so that she knows that dislike is mutual. The only think I am afraid of is losing my SO because he is amazing but I can’t force myself to stomach this child, especially when everyone acts as though she’s golden. I have voiced my opinion of her to him so hopefully he’ll ship this ugly Golum looking pest off sometime in the next couple of years or maybe she’ll develop a likeable personality (doubt it), cuase I don’t see me being step mom to this kid forever.

holy hell, thank you.

My SD is awful. I am at a constant battle with myself, debating whether i should just pack up my 8 mo old son and leave. I love my husband, more than anything. But his daughter is the banner of my existence. She is incredibly rude to everyone, very disrespectful, wants everything handed to her and fights even the simplest of requests. It's so hard, we were close when her father and i started dating but 4 yrs later she has made me incredibly miserable. I feel like a horrible person, she's his daughter. I choose this relationship, she didn't. But i can't help it and i can't take it anymore. Not to mention he moved her in here like 4 mo shop and did not even ask our really talk to me about it, hr just did it. She works very hard to make sure he and i never get any time together. She has come into out room at 4 am to interrupt our 'petsonal time' on purpose and he doesn't see a problem with that. She talks down to everyone. I hate her. I hate her so much. I wish i didn't....

I too hate my stepdaughter! She's 18 and acts like the whole world owes her something. She constantly sleeps around so she's not at the house much, until she breaks up with a boy, but then she's very clingy to her dad, which makes me crazy! She has no respect for anyone and treats everyone in her life like crap; even her dad who is a kind, loving man, but he'd rather put up with it than confront her, and that causes issues with us. My children also live in the home and they don't like her either. She is without a doubt the most disrespectful, rude and bitchy person I have ever known! He keeps making excuses for her, although I told him after I first met her that I didn't like her attitude; she even called him an ******* when we were shopping! I would've back handed her right then and there!!!!!!! She obviously has never had any discipline before and now WE have to pay the price for it. Her latest antic is that she took my extra set of sheets without asking, and put tem on her bed! I took them back when I found out, and now he's mad at ME????? I love this man but don't know if I can deal with her any longer. Any suggestions???

I LOVE this posts. Thanks a lot to ALL, to Cellens and the ones who answered, even those who has no respect (must be a stepmonster). Anyway, I met my wife at the end of the 80s in the middle east, we went back to our countries and she had a baby girl with someone who died later. I found her 20 years later, her stepmonster was 12 y.o. in that time. I need twenty pages to write about this little girl actions and i wont, i dont even want to write about all the nonsense, just one to define her, she can screamed to me F..YOU and i wont answer her back. she s now 18 y.o. and a bigger pain in the *** to whoever she meet. My relationship with my wife is the best relation i have ever had, I love her and i know she loves me back but this girl makes our life miserable, and the more I think, the more i want to go away because i dont want to see again in my life this girl. There is only one life, why i have to be unhappy? I rather loose the love of my life than live with a stepmonster. And we love kids, we are running a school and all kids love the way i am with them but this girl is too much to handle.

hello pabloandres, yes It's similar to my experience. children love me, I played in children's choirs for such a long time, and the children would run and yell out my name in happiness when they saw me, and would run to hug me. I love kids and they loved me too, so when I got married to a man with a daughter, i thought she would like me. My step daughter is so defensive about her mother ( a woman who cheated and got pregnant by another man while married to my husband, her ex) and is extremely loyal, and takes out her frustrations on those who she imagines are in her way. It is very difficult.

I know exactly how it is. My wife has a 13 year old almost 14 year old brat that acts the same way. I don't know what to do. that's why I have a bottle of whiskey with me.

im just happy my husband and I had a child of our own. After we did he was less obsessed with my stepdaughter. And now when he acts less interested her mother is crazy jealous over our new bundle of joy!

I here ya, I just had baby with my husband, and the same thing happened too. He is still paying his dues, aka child support, but he is so much more excited with the new baby. Due to his ex wife's cheating he was only able to raise his other daughter up to age 4, but i told him that NO ONE would take away this baby, that i will do everything to make our family happy and fulfilled. He is less obsessed with the other daughter and hardly talks to her on the phone. He would call her everyday, twice a day, and spend tons of money on her. Well no more, now he wants to spend money on baby stuff. Her luck ran out, no more taking advantage of daddy and spending his money on expensive electronics and clothes.

My wife and I have been trying to have a child of our own. but its hasn't worked out and now she is discouraged. I was really hoping for the out come that you have but its been unsuccessful. God bless you and good luck

I am glad you where able to move her out, however, I am dealing with a grown 27 year old married with a child who still lives with us our whole 2 year marriage. I don't like her and never will. At first, I did until she tried to act like she wanted to fight me and then all bets was off. She miserable, and if her father would of made her be a wife to her husband maybe she would still be married, if she wasn't so busy trying to make my husband think he didn't need a wife like he made her think she didn't need her husband things wouldn't be like this.


I understand how some may find your candidness abrupt, uncaring, and disrespectful. Sadly I understand what you are going through. My husbands ex, his daughter -totally run our lives. She has been brought up with attachment parenting, breastfed til she was five, and is downright mean to me. I love my husband dearly but if I had to do it all over again would never. The father/daughter relationship will beat the husband/wife relationship every time, leaving me feeling hurt, regretful, inadequate, and deflated.

Wow! Awesome job! I am not able to do anything from the above. That brat is living with us 24/7 . Guess what is the only reason me and my husband are arguing about? That's right - my stepdaughter.
She has a learning disability so either pretends or she is really stupid.
I've made a decision to leave his *** because this marriage had brought out the worst of me. Can't wait to create my own family where kids love and respect me- their mommy :)

I know exactly how you feel. Our relationship will soon end as well. The difference is she is a married 27 soon to be 28 year old who don't know her place, and would rather be sleeping with her dad than being his daughter.
Please reply with authenticity, support, and respect

You're the kind of step-mother that make those evil step-mom stereotypes. You aren't allowing your husband to see his daughter! It looks like you just want to keep him all to yourself and your children, and keep the poor youngster from her father.

You're a cruel, selfish woman.

Sounds mean but I agree totally. People wouldn't really understand until they're in our position. Sometimes I feel like I should go to work Sunday to Sunday just so I wouldn't have to deal with her. Her mother is neglecting her and her father is allowing it but I'm sorry I AM NOT HER MOTHER, I have my own child who give me no trouble whatsoever and I shouldn't have to deal with another's problem. Her mother's negligence towards her is not my problem and it should not fall on my shoulders to compensate. That's just not fair to me.

When I first read your posting I felt somewhat bad for the little girl, your step daughter. I thought that maybe you were just impatient or maybe too young to understand.

I have since recognized the sheer gleefulness of eliminating her from your life.

I have a 13 year old step daughter, she is a spoiled princess. It's not her dad that seems to be the main issue in her upbringing, you see, she lives very far away from us, so my husband depends on the idiot mother, and the grandparents to help out. They have spoiled her rotten, and all because they feel sorry for her.

She has taken full advantage of this, by demanding anything and everything her little **** heart desires.

She recently stayed with us for the summer. I am pregnant for the first time, a high risk pregnancy, difficult and delicate, and my husband decided to bring her here for TWO months. I have dealt with a spoiled, selfish, jealous whiny little ***** for two months. He has spoken to her about her behavior, but he is not consistent, and eventually goes back to coddling her and overcompensating again.

She will be gone in two days, and I am so relieved. I TOLD my husband I do not want her for MY baby's birth. His parents want to be here, I don't want them here either. My father-in-law coddles her more than everyone, told me that he buys her whatever she wants, whenever she wants it with no question. My fear is that they will bring her, and they will pamper to HER needs while I am in labor and when the baby is born. The attention will be about how SHE feels, and my baby and I will be left behind, forgotten. I will NOT allow them to do to my child what they do to me. NO FREAKIN WAY.

My husband is the only one allowed in the delivery room, and my parents will be the only ones allowed to come to meet their ONLY grandchild when born.

Applause to you. I have gone through hell with SD and also was recently successful in removing her from our life. My husband asked me to take down her pictures, he is completely done. Thank god!!! It only took 6 years of misery and verge of divorce many times. Now we can move on with OUR family and OUR two children. The drama is finally over. Ps until you have been in these horrible shoes, don't judge!!!! You would never understand what we go through.

thank you and well said.
Please reply with authenticity, support, and respect

Congratulations at least someone out there had the balls to stand their ground against these unwanted leaches who do they think they are trying to barge into your new life I really can't stand these god awful brats that think the world owes them something because their parents aren't together boo hoo daddy's got a girlfriend so that gives me a right to be a disrespectful little ***** I don't think so! They should all get a grip and stay with their useless mothers who weren't good enough to hold on to a man big applause to you lady!!

Love it!

holy ******* ****!!! that 9 year old girl deserves way better than you and her "dad". your husband has zero balls and just like someone else said, god will get you. i seriously hope that girl grows up not knowing either one of you. and i hope that your ovaries and uterus and **** all get cancer and rot off your disgusting body. you are a ****. no wonder the girl doesnt listen to you, she can tell that you hate her. and to start fights with your husband to brainwash him is terrifying. it shows how selfish you are. you dont give a **** about him. all you care about is yourself. well let me tell you something you little ****. you better watch out cause that 9 year old girl is going to grow up to be a 21 year old like me and **** man, i do horriffic things to my step mother. i put sugar, salt and oil in her gas tank i put bleach in her contact lense solution, i put bleach in all of her potted plants, i spit lougies into her shoes, i wipe my **** with her housecoat sleve so it gets on her hands and face. and on my last day here im going to ******* snip all of the wires under the hood of her truck. i ******* hate my step mother but unlike your stupid, ***** whiped ***** husband my daddy loves me and doesnt let his **** get away with a lot of ****. that little girl will make your life miserable. karma will kick you in the teeth. and im going to pray to god to ask him for revenge for that poor girl. i hope you rot in hell you peice of ****. its people like you that are ruining this world. go die

Get a grip you have obviously never been in this situation retard!

Are you mad bro?

This... right the reason why step kids should rot in hell.

I understand you perfectly. My step daughter and her son are living with us and now I want her out of my life!!. I emigrated her, I paid for it (because my husband hasn't had a good job) we wanted so badly have her with him. When finally she was able to come to USA she moved in with us. I started to notice her behavior, she is lazy, dirty, sleeps a lot, she thinks she knows everything, she always is right, and so on; I told my husband that she needed to accept the "rules" of my house if she wanted to live with us. At the beginning she agreed to the rules but after and slowly she was doing wherever she wanted. Until I got pregnant of our first baby, I was getting mad every single day because of her and her behavior. My husband told her to go back to her home, with her mom; she always was saying she would move back there. Then, one year later, she told my husband she was pregnant and that the boyfriend told her to go back to her mom's house. I said poor thing, ok, may be now that she is pregnant she is gonna change her attitude. We bring her back. But now she is even worse. She is been living with us for a year and my life is ugly like a hell. She doesn't work. She doesn't help with the chores at home. She has her bedroom dirty. She says she is tired of me and my rules. She is rude to me, she answers rudely, makes faces to me when I tell something to her. And the worse thing is that she doesn't take care of her baby. When he was like 1 month old she was giving him water instead of milk; she said that the water will helped his stomach. He cried a lot pretty much whole day because he was hungry, she would feed him only for 5 min. She would be at the computer in Facebook and the baby in her lap. She had the baby sleeping with her in single bed having a bassinet for the baby. She would feed him while she was sleeping. When he was sleeping she would put the blanket on his face. I have found the baby clothes with pop all over, which means she wasn't changing the diaper frequently. Now she has daycare (she applied for it). The baby is been taken care better, he doesn't cry that much. But in the weekends she needs to feed him, and because she is to lazy to prepare the food for him (we have the baby bullet to make things easier) she feeds him only with milk and even worse she gives him breast milk to avoid wash the baby bottles. Few days ago, the baby fell off the bed, she left him on the bed and she went to the kitchen, it was an night; we only heard the sound when the baby fell and he crying. The baby has some orthopedic issues and the Dr. recommended a brace for his legs and to use it every night, which she doesn't do. My baby and hers go to the same daycare. At the daycare the lady told me that I was been abusive with my stepdaughter, because she was saying that she was cleaning the house, making meals for me, doing laundry and everything at the house, that it was not okay which made me angry, obviously she is not doing anything at all. Sometimes I just want to grab my baby and run out of the house. I'm at the point where seeing her face bothers me. I feel sorry for the baby, that's the only reason for me no to kick her out, but I'm about to because I can't handle this situation anymore. My husband talks to her but she doesn't care. She wont listen. Obviously my relationship with my husband is deteriorating. I'm not longer happy.

I in NO way condone your behavior, but I understand your reaction. When a child makes it impossible for you to care, then there is no emotional attachment. You don't care because it's a sincere reaction. You are protecting your home environment. I think it take a real amount of maturity to get along with a step child, I'm not saying love, I'm saying acknowledgement and respect for their feelings. It's just a very hard situation in which your husband must have a clear view of his children's behavior, sadly most men are blinded by pity for their children, and they end up spoiling their kids.

I hate my stepdaughter too. But for good reasons. You are just a gigantic *****.

You people are fucken sick. The ***** that posted this should be arrested! God will make you pay sweetie. What you do done to her another will do to you or your kids.

All of you resenting stepmothers are very wrong. I am a step kid to 2 people who love me very much I imagine that if your child was sick in the head like that, you would call a doctor. Wouldn't you? Be the bigger person and make the appointment yourself, if you really love this person you would love his/her kid as well. My stepmother plans my trips to go to and from my mom and dad and she actually wants me to go over there a lot. I actually am very lucky for my step parents, my stepfather is a jeweler and he makes me jewelry from time to time and he also drives a limousine late at night to pay for my tuition and he don't give a sh*t cause he loves me and wants the best for me. Same with my stepmother, I have my own room and she went shopping with me for my Christmas presents and we spent just about $500 on just me bc I also wanted a hello kitty sowing machine. I am very grateful for that shopping spree and that was just presents from her, not my dad. My dad gave me a $100 bill. For those women who want no stepchildren, just leave the man and consider a single man who will have time for you and have time to start a family. As many women said here that ex's of your husband couldn't keep the family together, we'll try it yourself and see how 'easy' it is to you.

Your love is based on expensive presents and your tuition being paid. You have monetary conditions with your step-parents. It is shameful that you cannot value your relationships with you step parents without mentioning a pay out, money or presents. This says more about you than them. It seems that you are the kind of step child/ person who can be bought out. What if they were all really tight on money, what if it was impossible for them to buy you so many gifts and pay for YOUR tuition. Would you still admire and respect them. I don't think so. Tell me about their qualities as human beings, about how much they respect your relationship with your dad, but don't tell me how much money they spend on you. You sound really spoiled.

You have no idea what love is. You sound stupid!

I know that love is not based on money. Love is something you feel for someone regardless of how much money they spend on you. This is a sad generation of spoiled, overcompensated children of divorce who take great advantage of their step parents, and especially of their biological parents. You depend on the guilt they feel to get what you want. You are confused and truly do not know YOURSELF what real love is. When you GROW UP and stop feeling sorry for yourself, hopefully, your little brain might understand. Spoiled, selfish, self pitying brat.

well said and thank you.
Please reply with authenticity, support, and respect

I'm sorry peacemaker, your stepparents are paying for your tuition and according to your profile you are between 41-45 years old??? I should jolly well think you have your own room if you are of that age. Are you really who you say you are, or are just here to cause a little trouble, and if you life is so wonderful why are you on an internet thread discussing issues with stepdaughters?? Believe me if I had been allowed to, I would have dragged my partner's horrible Daughter to the nearest psychiatrist, but as we were not married I had no parental rights over her, plus the fact that her Father thinks she is perfect, which seems to be a common problem with single Fathers to Daughters, something I have done much research on. All I can say is that I have been the victim here, I used to take her to school, pick her up, pick her up from her Mum's for her weekend visits, I have done it all including spending my own money on her and believe me it got me nowhere. I never used to resent my Stepdaughter but she unfortunately resents me simply for being with her Father. Sorry I am still laughing at the thoughts of a 40 something woman on her Hello Kitty sewing machine. Cover your tracks a little better before thinking you are clever.

she's probably just a step kid trolling this forum

3 More Responses

After reading these posts I can see where you are all coming from. I am just about to walk away from the man who was the love of my life, I just cannot take his one sided behaviour any more. My stepdaughter was 6 when I met her and already showing sociopathic traits, which I observed and kept quiet about. Twice I caught her throwing my beautiful elderly saggy 8 year old rabbit to the floor and kicking him. A year later when our cat gave birth to 6 dead kittens both myself and her Dad cried. She never shed a tear, just kept wanting to go and gawp at their dead bodies. I also caught her locking my puppy in a bedside cabinet. When her Dad was out of work I paid for EVERYTHING for a whole year, including his maintenance to his fruitloop of an ex partner. I also bought shoes for his Daughter as I was sick of seeing hard skin on her feet through ill fitting shoes. There is really too much to tell it would take me ages,but lets just say that I know she has some sort of problem and is now 11 years old, nearly as tall as me, and quite frankly she gives me the creeps. Ive caught her analysing me when she thinks I cannot see her, she steals from me (sentimental things that cannot be replaced). I wrote her Dad a heartfelt letter last week, and when some more of my jewellery went missing I went into her room to look for it. I found a small picture of her Mother and tucked behind it in the frame was a piece of paper folded up into tiny squares, and when I opened it, it was a copy of the letter I had written to her Dad, she had copied it out word for word then stuffed it behind the photo of her Mum. I am at the point now where I am not going to wait around until she either pushes me down the stairs or stabs me in the back, literally. Ive googled "mini wife", she fits the bill, she fits the bill for sociopathic, phycopathic and other disorders but her Dad thinks she is his little princess and can do no wrong. I have now decided to cut my losses and leave them to it. I would never harm her but I seriously hope that she does the same thing again to his next girlfriend, as he seems to think that sacrificing the love of his life is worth it to keep cossetting this horrible child. We were supposed to be getting married, then she upped the ante with her behaviour. I would imagine she will be grinning like a cheshire cat when I leave, but he is terribly afraid of being alone and the minute he brings next girlfriend into the equation, the merry go round of **** will start all over again, and by this time I will be long gone, maybe then and only then will be realise that the true love of his life was trying to warn him and tell him the truth. His loss, not mine.

The only way things could change is if he realizes that she is causing the issues in your relationship. If he can't see her for what she is, a little sociopath, then he might the one being pushed down the stairs one day. I would like to say that there is hope, but while the father does not stand up to his kid, then he will leave a trail of hurt women. All hurt by a little *****, that was never taught to respect her father's decisions. Even if you do stay, there is too much hurt, she has done too much. Believe me, she has learned to manipulate adults, and will go on manipulating men her whole life. I know there are "step kids" on here that will disagree or will try to defend that callous behavior, but truly no one can honestly say they are willing to put up with this type of sociopath behavior, from ANYONE. Biological parents are blind to their kids horrible behavior. Step parents DO NOT have to put up with it. He either chooses to make her respect his decision to stay with you, or you leave, and make him regret being such an manipulated and permissive parent. TO THOSE STEP KIDS ON HER: RESPECT YOUR STEP PARENTS, AND MOST OF THE PROBLEMS WILL GO AWAY. I DON'T CARE WHO YOU ARE AND WHAT YOU THINK YOU DESERVE, IF YOUR STEPMOM/DAD IS HAPPY THEN YOUR OWN BIO PARENT IS HAPPY AND GUESS WHAT? THAT WILL MAKE YOU HAPPY. Spoiled ********.

Thankyou Melinashi for that reply. It makes me really sad that my relationship is at an end, but relieved in a way as if I had married this man I would have had to tolerate his offspring for the rest of my life, and I truly believe that she would never stop. Her Mither still behaves in a disgusting manner as does her Grandmother, to be truthful the whole family are abnormal. I challenged him about the letter that I found and he denied it was her writing, destroyed it, then claimed that someone must be breaking into the house and stealing my beloved items, then planting letters in his Daughter's room for me to find!! I mean, have you ever heard such a load of old guff in all your life?? As he has a habit of destroying the evidence, I have now taken to photographing the letters (several so far) on my smartphone so I have at leasy got something I can print off later if I need to. I am still living in the house as I cannot afford to do otherwise and I am now thinking of getting a covert camera to catch her in the act, and then, and only then will he believe what's been going on. I truly believe though that even presented with undoubtable evidence, once he is backed into a corner he will simply tell me to leave, rather than admit that his Daughter is evil. She talks to him like ****, like she is on the same wavelength and certainly behaves like his girlfriend, not like a Daughter and quite frankly I am glad I never married him because he is looking ever more spineless the more I know him. Trouble is I know I am still in love with him and always will be unless I get out of this madness.

I am married, first time, with a divorced man. He was married barely out of college at 21, with a woman he was pressured in to marrying as she was pregnant. He met her when she was cheating on her boyfriend, my husband was the other guy. His culture is very conservative, as is mine so he got married to please his father. Four years later, this woman gives birth to a baby, a son, that my husband thought was his. He did not see a resemblance. He filed for divorce when he discovered she was having a long affair with a police officer. He demanded a paternity test during the divorce proceedings. She begged him to refuse the test, swearing that the little boy was his. He was not persuaded by her tears. The test came back negative, my husband was NOT the father. He finalized his divorce. His daughter was around four years old when she was separated from her father. Very sad, as it was not her fault. Four years later, we met at church. He admitted to having a child and being divorced, I saw the divorce decree and pictures of his daughter, oddly enough she looks nothing like him either, but oh well. He proposed after one year of dating. This is what I said:


(sorry for the caps, but I was firm when i spoke)

She visits us during the summer, she is very spoiled, and I blame her grandparents. They live in another state, her, her mother and her grandparents. Whenever I visit I feel like an outsider, BUT, my statement stands. I am NOT expected to do anything I do not feel like in regards of her. If I make her a grilled cheese, I'ts because I WANT TO, there is nothing forced. She respects me, I respect her, there is no love, and barely a friendship. My husband stood up to her once during a family trip, OUR FAMILY (which does include her) when she was acting really spoiled, turning her back on me, ignoring me and marking her territory in the hotel rooms, heck even in my bed. My husband saw her doing everything possible to ruin our trip, I did not utter a word. He took me by surprise and told her to respect me because I am his wife. Still today she is quiet and respectful. I don't have to do anything, because actions speak louder than words, and her actions were appalling during that trip. Truth be told I have been very patient, and have not provoked her in the least, so my husband can see for himself and decide to discipline her when necessary, in return, I give them all the time in the world to hang out and go shopping. I purposefully stay home, or got out by myself. I am sincerely pleased when I see them happily getting along, they both have the same personality, and it is funny to watch them.

I feel for you, really, i want to say that things will get better, but that is in your husbands hands. If you truly want to stay with him, why not suggest a counselor, so he or she can point out his mistakes. Although if you decide to leave, it would be easier to do without children of your own. If you have children with him, it is worth a shot, trying to stay together. You don't want your kids to have to deal with the same issues you are dealing with. Pleas take care.

You should be committed. Leave the relationship you loser. You don't scar a kid who's clearly going through something.

Pinche pendeja, how old are you? are you really that dense?, have YOU ever dated a divorced man with children? Are you lame? What the hell is wrong with you, are you some little spoiled brat who wants to take her frustrations out on me because you have a b!!tch of a step mom. I am not your step mother, I don't have to put up with your bullshit. So until you grow a bigger brain, Then STFU

I have never scarred my step daughter, I have never scolded her or insulted her ***** mother. You are so ignorant. Did you even READ my response. What the hell is wrong with you. Are you so blinded by anger that you find it difficult to have appropriate reading comprehension? I am not leaving MY MARRIAGE (NOT RELATIONSHIP YOU IDIOT) with my HUSBAND because he calls my step daughter out when she behaves badly. I am fortunate enough to have a husband who sees the bullshit and acts accordingly, someone who loves me and expects his daughter to respect me. so fack off and target YOUR step mom, the one that hurt YOU. I am not her.

I've recently done the same. It was hard, it never got as far along as your experiences, but it wouldhave done.
Please be assured that you have done the right thing.
I have now met a wonderful man, also had children but it's a totally different world.
Please be strong.
He will NEVER truly hear the truth, I tried and tried to the point of being really cruel to my ex but he had no remorse, he knew exactly what was going on but didn't care.
Only when the same child turns on the parent will they realise but they still won't care!!

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I have an 18 year old stepdaughter and I met her when she was 15. I know you are a b+i+t+c+h. A 9 year old kid, come on already, you are not only selfish but you are also insecure about not only your relationship but your own identity. That's sad. You are the one who needs to be dropped sweetie. You are pathetic and have no reguard for any other human being! You are selfish and you don't deserve what you have and he will figure you out eventually and drop you for the b+i+t+c+h you are. Grow the **** up already for real, *******!

My marriage has fell apart because my spouse of full time rights back to his kid, every thing revolves around her, all we do is fight because he wont discipline her, he ignores the baby... I think since he see's his self as christian he needs to re-read his bible and see that the marriage comes first and Abraham sent away his child and the mother and the same needs done here. WHat does he do? buys stuff he doesn't take care of the physical constant demands he isn't the one getting held back on a career because he wont take the ex for child support so mountian heart will accept his child but will mine! I suffer from her, HE DOESN'T, because he has no responsibility I have it all! My child suffers from having a neglectful father because of it! I think if he is going to let that woman see her that woman needs to take the responsibility and be a mother not a friend! I want to help the mother get back her rights back so at least one of the natural parents will be taking care of her! because neither one really does anything! I can't do nothing for myself or my daughter because I'm stuck taking care of his kid while he is at work, and with him constantly telling me how much he doesn't love me I want to get my career in place so I know we will have something to go to when a divorce happens and I wont feel so bad for his kid for not having anyone decent taking care of her. Just thrown in and out of baby setters, daycares, schools, and god knows what. He doesn't have time to be a father why should I waste my time taking care of his baggage while I have my own child to take care of! God knows the little pill head isn't gonna pay child support that is the only reason he took the other kid he didn't want to pay his ex any money because he is a dickless pos!

Kids, teenagers, need their fathers to step up and discipline. No more feeling sorry for little sally, get it together and teach your children to respect their step mothers, and maybe stories like the original one posted on this page, would not happen.

Or teach you kids the sight of evil. So they can report it to the police

You have issues lady! Please seek help of a counselor before you continue this behavior or worse yet before you teach this behavior and bad choices that stem from it to others. This planet doesn't need anymore help from people like yourself.

Thank you I'm so outraged about this *** hole telling people this! Honest people actually looking for a way to connect with a stepparent is a real blog that we all need to start.

This is the exact reason why children do not trust their bioparents' new lovers/spouses. This is the reason they are horrible to them. Seriously, this is exactly the thing they fear, a stepparent who wants to take their bioparent away and willfully tries to destroy the parent-child bond they share.
I don't like children, in general. I won't ever have children of my own, and I would never marry someone who has children under 18 that he/she has contact with. So, I understand where you are coming from. They can be a pain, and after a while frustration will probably get so bad that you just want them out of your life and miserable for the rest of their days. But really, it makes you a pretty horrid human being. It's quite petty and childish to act like that.

shut up.

You should be arrested. I'm going to report you and I hope I can save your step child

I feel the same you are a blessing I can't stand my wife's devil's seed she's horrible she got pregnant when she was liked 15 we made her have an abortion and come to find out this little fun swollower has been having sex sinse she was like 12 oh I hate this *****

You can have your skid mark sent to placement actually if that was my state what she is doing is illegal! If she runs away ever... i expect she will there you go call the police have her sent to the hospital's psych ward over and over for running away, underage sex, and delinquency after 3 times you can have her sent to a long term treatment facility. I think little hoes need it she is probably doing drugs, and could be into self harming too since she has no respect for her body... having an abortion could be an attempt to have harm inflicted on her self... hell it doesn't have to be true even just get her somewhere that will treat her that behavior is worth treatment enough! (though our world is used to it so... you're gonna have to say what you can to get the police to take her) Having an abortion at 15! she needs to see a doc anyways that leaves emotional scars as it is! I can already tell you a **** seeking 12 year old probably has a borderline personality... divorce can cause that issue with all the pointless taking a kid back and forth between parents. (that crap isn't for the kid, is rarely good for the kid, and i believe it is only for the parent)

This is about the original post not some ******** opinion about a stepdaughter!
Come on already. What do you do for a living??? I do much more than you and no your way is not the way to help someone. If you aren't a professional or have your own experience about the situation then don't comment!

You aren't a psychologist, or behavior therapist, or school counselor so don't give out medical advice, ok?

Obviously she needs help, she's in a bad place! People like you disgust me, what have you done to be proactive in her life? What about your wifes feelings? Don't care? Looks like. Children aren't a devil's seed ***. They are a blessing and you take that on when you marry and take on step children, get a life and be proactive and help this girl! You won't be married long if you push this aside. May be divorced already! Maybe you are trash that doesn't care at all, sounds like it.

Maybe check your ***** she did a ****** up job raising her. She was obviously abused sexual to exhibit this behavior. Your probably the culprit

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And I say this to ALL bio moms who have a problem with step moms...

Stop having kids by men who don't stick around or that you can't keep!


If YOU kept your family together step mothers would be non-existent!

Also, sometimes it's not the "bio" mothers fault. Sometimes men just get can't force someone to be with you know matter how 'perfect' you are. Everyone one who's educated knows that.

Lol yeah I'd bet your man would get bored with you lol I hope you don't have kids because if so, they will totally have a stepmom.. Totally.

Your the most disgusting piece of human feces on this planet. You psychotic-sosiopathic disgrace of of a human being. I am normally not one to condone what I'm saying to you, but **** you, you worthless pill of filth. I hope he leaves you for a beautiful and wonderful woman so he can finally see the the difference between a beautful soul and a rotten pile of maggot soul. You digust me. If you were infront of me I'd spit on you.

Why do white ppl always wanna spit on someone. I seen this lady get her *** KICKED this past summer over the same thing... You white ppl gon learn one day. Smh

Because it's an utter disrespect to a person. I can understand why "someone" of your stature wouldn't understand. Don't worry, it's expected.

Lol How is it that I know you're fat??? Lol I know you'd never admit I'm right and will swear u look soooo good but I can totally tell you're fat just in your language. Kill yourself cow!