It's Too Late Now...

My boyfriend and I have been together for 10 years.  I am 51, he is 55.  When we got together, he had been raising his 15 year old daughter since she was 5.  In the beginning, he said that he needed my help because she had no real female influence in her life.  (her Mother had had it with her because of her attitude and went on with a new family.)  I don't have kids so all I had to go by was the way that I was raised.    I pretty much gave up after the first 2 years.  In reality, her Father couldn't stand anybody saying or doing anything to her that upset her.  When she was 17, I grounded her and she got so mad that she hit me in the face and bruised me terribly.  Her Father just tucked his tail and tried to smooth it over.  She is now 25 with 2 kids (by 2 different men-no marriage.)  She is a total slob!  She will not pick up after herself or her kids when she comes over.  She is so nasty/lazy that she will even through bloody tampon applicators in the trash for everyone to see.  She leaves dirty diapers, full ashtrays, glasses, plates, you name it, strewn all over the house.  She lies, steals and because she has no job or does anything productive, she is all about drama.

Her Father allows her to continue this behavior.  If I say anything, he jumps on me and reassures her that she has done nothing wrong and I am just a  just a b....!  I guess I don't understand this parental guilt thing.  He is so afraid that she won't love him that he runs people off that might truly be trying to help him.  Anyway, I am currently looking for somewhere else to live.  She isn't going anywhere.  This relationship has aged me terribly. 

Thanks for letting me share.

attheendofme attheendofme
51-55, F
2 Responses Feb 26, 2010

well its easy to say forget her but when she does or say things to wind you up its not that easy and husbands inability to discipline his daughter just makes it worse my patner is the same i have to live with stepdaughter she is 22 but acts like a five year old i think men generally never chalenge their daughters it is a very strong bond so they see it like you trying to come between them ..the only way to deal with it aparently i have been told is to never say a wrong word about daughter to hubbie and when you are alone with her then is your time to make comments but keep them polite and subtle so that she does not run screaming or crying to dad saying you have attacked her ...i am not sure I can be bothere tho if the man was worth it i would but not sure he is !!

u said "when she comes over" so she doesnt live with u guys<br />
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uve been together so & long SHE'S AN DULT forget her & marry ur love. when she comes over go for a nice long walk