Fat Wives Suck.

Brother let me tell you, it’s every excuse in the book for my wife to stay fat.

I can’t lose weight after having three kids.
My back hurts.
My knee hurts.
My thyroid isn’t working correctly. (Although she has had it checked 3-4 times in the last 10 years and it is functioning normally)
I don’t have any time because of the kids.
I am too tired.
It's to hot/cold outside.

If it’s not excusing to staying fat, it’s lulling herself in to a false reality that she is actually not as fat as she really is.

I am in pretty good shape compared to her (her being a nasty morbidly obese friend of hers.)
I still have good muscle tone.
I eat healthy.
I am in decent shape.
Blah, blah, blah………. Give me a freaking break.

Now I have gone to almost extreme lengths to provide her with the time and facilities to exercise. There is an $800 treadmill in my basement that doubles as a clothes rack and I have told her to join a gym. I have offered to watch the kids every evening and on weekends to giver time to work out. Does she capitalize on any of these opportunities, NO she doesn’t. She just lies on the couch and complains about how tired she is. You have to get up and force youself to make a change.

You have to find the time. I wake up at 5 am to go to the gym 4 days a week, and then I come home, make kids lunches for school, bring her majesty coffee in bed, then go to work. At work I run 3-5 miles three times a week during lunch. I pack my lunch and eat at my desk to give me the time to run. Make time, figure something out, stop with the negative attitude, and do something about you weight. You only have one person to blame and that is you, so stop blaming me, the kids, society, or some thin actress because she doesn’t look like a real woman. (Why the hell to women look at famous models and actress and just blast them with insults? I don't look at famous guys and think, what an ******* for being in such good shape. WTF?)

The moral of the story is you can’t change anyone. Seriously, you can’t change ANYONE, even if you are married to them. If you smoke, only you can quit. If you drink too much, only you can stop. If you are fat, only you can lose the weight. No one can do it for you and no one can change your attitude.

All you men out there with fat wives, stop trying to change them. If they are fat it’s their problem not yours. Your only problem is you are stuck banging a fat woman for the rest of your life, if she lets you bang her at all. There is nothing the social castration of marriage to suck the life out of a man. You wife won’t have sex with you, but you can’t have sex with other women because you are married and it’s socially unacceptable. You can’t expect or demand you wife to have sex with you because she is a woman, and a woman has a right to say no even to her husband. Expecting you wife to have sex with you is socially unacceptable. (Thanks Oprah and Dr. Phil for that little slice of bullshit.) So you are stuck, socially castrated and your sex life is over before you turned 40. If you wife decides to have sex (every 2-3 months) you have to grit you teeth and bang a fat woman.

Marriage, what a joke.
Space1999 Space1999
134 Responses Sep 7, 2010

Wow..lol. Tell us what you really feel. Geez. Just divorce her.

I feel your pain, I'm in the same situation as the OP. I've talked to my wife about making the time to get to the gym. I'll watch the kids, cook, and do chores so that she has that 1 to 2 hours a day to get to the gym. I hear that she is so tired of doing this or that, comes homes sits on the couch and does nothing. This aggravates me so much, and then complains there is no time. I've talked to her that she needs time for herself, either it be working out or just doing something she wants todo by herself. She has this in her mind that she needs todo everything around our home.
Then when I want to head to the gym I get an attitude, I think working out is something that you want todo, not something that someone can motivate you todo. Change can only come from within, and only if you want it that change more than anything else.

Couldn't have said better , I'm on the exactly same boat ,the only difference is that I work like a horse in the construction business , feel sad for you , but it comforts me to know I'm not the only one , thank you for sharing
There's only one solution for that , swinging life style ,,,

I agree with this article. I'm a woman I'm not fat I weigh 130 5 ft 7 I go to the gym 6 days a week and eat right. I feel this mans pain. I was with a guy who got fat and wouldn't change it was gross to stomach. My husband was married to a blimp. His ex wife is pretty gross not sure how he stuck his **** in that. She's even fatter now 10 years after the divorce.

I completely agree with this article. When a woman doesn't want to work out and take care of herself, its really because she doesn't care. No time and kids are all excuses. Women demand a lot from men. They hate it when a man is fat, but they expect fit, strong, well-built men. Its pathetic to be with such a large, lazy woman. If its me, I wouldnt compromise. Simply because I am married doesnt mean I am not an individual and I dont have desires. If the partner is too insensitive, I would chuck that for my happiness. Honest!!! Whats more miserable than having sex with a huge person. Unimaginable

Thank you... Nothing else to say... Thank you... You are 100% right, I almost had tears in my eyes while reading.... Stuck for life...

Fat women are nasty,simple as that. This woman is a selfish gluton. People with a unhealthy high percentage of body fat are biologically unattractive. Facts are facts. The people defending this blimp are probably overweight themselves. To all the women defending this fat *** *****, do you want to bang a fat man with a huge belly and can hardly breath walking up a flight of stairs? I don't ******* think so. This man had standards and that's perfectly OK. His wife is fat, nasty, and lazy. End of story

I am afraid your story is wrong.

How so? Please elaborate.

There is a punchline to the joke you call your life.

Your wife is only fat because she is depressed to realize that she committed to a man as narcissistic as yourself and she doesn't want to have sex with you because of the likely following issues:

1. You have a rather small penis and suck in bed. She simply can't feel you inside of her, so what's the point?

2. Despite your expectations for her to be attractive for you, you are rather ugly yourself and she feels nothing for you either because you are now ugly on the inside too.

3. Even though you say you are thinner than her you likely are fat as well, but cocky which makes you even uglier.

But in either case, back to what I was saying..

the funny punchline is that after you divorce your "fat" wife the following will happen:

she will drop all that depression weight she gained by being tied to such a judgemental man, gain confidence and joy, become hyper sexual and get down on her knees to unzip the pants eagerly for a man who is rich, confident, good looking AND has a big schlong .

I see it happen all the time to shallow, demanding, ugly men and it's always amusing to watch.

You might be right but you're mean. I love it. LOL

Sounds like a lovely fairy tale. You must be a blimp as well. He had standards for what he finds sexually attractive, I'm sorry but a relationship is nothing without sexual intimacy for many people. And definitely nothing if you aren't attractive to your partner. It's selfish to think it's OK to carry on being fat and nasty especially when your partner communicates to you that he isn't happy.do you know that exercise actually makes you feel better physically and mentally by releasing endorphins in your brain? Probably not because you're either ******* ugly, a *****, or a fat ****:)

You are so funny, probably a bbw that gives blow jobs to anyone at the end of the party and you are the only thing left and maybe better then a jerk off or cheaper then a hooked when drunk , now I ask you ,,do you have a man that is ok ,walking around in public places holding your hand for more then a month ?

There's always more to the story and it seems as though she's got depression. If you really do love her then you should focus on the real issue of getting her better rather than expecting her to be like you. Empathise! As for believing that (abstaining from sex) is purely a 'wife' thing?.....unfortunately it's not. I could pick up in a heartbeat but my husband NEVER kisses me (& I mean ANYWHERE) & he acts as though he's done me a favour when he 'lets' me suck his ****. Your post has come across VERY selfish, insulting and misogynist but I believe that it's because you've written it while angry. I don't want my husband to let himself go either and we BOTH tell each other when we think that a little kick up the bum is needed...... however, having someone dictate to you how you need to look for them to be attracted to you is permanently damaging to your relationship! I have recently had to put on weight and scale back my training because my husband is 'grossed out' by muscly women. Pfffft! You and him should focus on what's really going on with us instead of just focussing on what effects YOU. 😋

have you tried to join a gyn together that has child care, my wife went from 115 to 190 and quit everything she tried until finally we found a gym that had child care and go together in the evening. not sure if it will work but my wifes attitude towards exercising has started to change.

i have a gf...and i hate that she's loosing her figure ...while i keep a close maintenance of my health...but my gf is depending on me very much...my feelings is mess up...pity,lust and love seems very mixed up on me.

You should be confused, because she is the one that will love you unconditionally when your big pot belly appears after 60.

Right, because everyone should be, or will be a lard *** in your opinion, huh 🙄

Most women dont just suddenly let themselves go overnight and never have sex with you blah blah blah etc. There has to be a lot of hatred towards you for all that to happen. My question would be what did you do to cause that hatred, but after reading this and hearing your attitude and all your name calling I dont even need to ask at all! I bet you attack this poor woman all the time and make her sick to her stomach! The only times ive let myself go is when ive been with someone disgusting like you, otherwise if im with someone loving the man im with now that doesnt happen because I dont hate him enough to make myself fat and feel sick to my stomach 247

These men are so selfish and clueless. They should send their fat wives to me so they can finally experience gratitude.

Add a response...

Why is this so common?!?!? I don't expect my wife to be as slim as she was when we first met, but a little effort...I won't leave because of our kids. When I weight the two, I'd rather have my kids and a fat wife than have my kids half the time (while I'm involved with a more attractive woman). But what about when our kids are out of the house? I've thought about it. I'd be in my mid-fifties. She can have the house, though I doubt she'll be able to afford it on her on. We might have to sell it and hope we break even. I don't really care.

Oh please do and please post the results of this house "giveaway after divorce" experiment.

I promise you, she will get that house, finally get fit and in addition will add the young landscaping guy to her bed like she always wanted.

And your old man self will be chasing young, yet terrified and disgusted girls. I can't wait to hear the result of this story.

Right, because some young landscaper really wants to be with a 50 year old fat woman 🙄

My wife started at a beautiful 130 pounds after 3 kids, and a decade of mild depression she was 205. Then she had a friend whose husband had cheated on her. My wife had an awakening. She knew she needed to change. I would never cheat on my fat wife. My fat wife didn't let that security stand in the way of changing. She has a goal to get to 139 pounds. She is currently 157. This is amazing. I was just getting to the point of not being interested at all sexually in my wife. Now...we have sex about 28 times a month. We got a magic wand vibrator, she ******* anywhere between 5-20 times per night. She is walking with a fitbit. She curls her hair, she holds my hand, she wants me. She is not as lazy, she actually folds laundry! She has cooked a few meals, and is watching her calories, approx 1250 per day. She loses about 1.5 lbs per week. I never gave up hope, but I almost gave up on sex and kindness.

Don't stop believing, I just hope it's not too late when she figures it out for you to have a great sex life. We used to make love once a week if I was lucky, and it was more about me then her. She now freaking loves sex.

You almost gave up on kindness? Seriously? Think about that for a moment.

I feel sorry for you buddy. Lots of us are in the same situation, and it sucks! I don't know why these wives let themselves blimp like this? You will be ripped for not being " crazy " about your fat wife. Please don't bang her. Mine eats Bacon sandwiches almost every night, then has ice cream :( I think, " that's it fatty, keep getting bigger " It's a awful sight :(

No matter what my weight or physical fitness (5'4 & 110 lbs.) NO man I've dated complimented me, ever. They always found some little thing to try and make me feel bad about myself, while they were anything BUT perfect! They would like it when other men looked at me, but they never expressed their approval. I didn't want other men to look at me; I wanted MY man to look at me. Since my boyfriend, now husband, never complimented me when I was ripped, I lost self-esteem and gave up. It's depressing when you don't hear nice compliments. Now I weigh 140 and my husband hates my curves and nags me to get back down to 110 lbs. which is also very depressing. He's 6'1 & 190 Lbs. so he isn't ripped either! His nagging has completely killed my feelings and attraction to him.
GUYS, compliments are a lot more motivating than insults! When I was 110 lbs. he would pinch my skin as to insinuate skin was fat! Now, I see how mean and sick that was, and I can't believe I'm stuck married to him.
I'm a size 6, still very attractive, smart, and I want to be a size 0-2 & ripped again; however, I also kind of don't want to be ripped, because I don't want to make him happy! How to make him pay for being so critical of me even at 110! HA! But, I'm not happy and I do want to be ripped again. Unfortunately, for our marriage, I don't know if I'll be able to forgive him or be attracted to him ever again!

You are a joke! If you truly love your spouse you would love her no matter her size! Just that you have contemplated making love with other women proves that you are a horrible husband. The true reason your wife doesn't make the effort to lost weight is because of you... You aren't worth the time, effort and energy. You need to do some deep thinking about your relationship. You need to find the true issues in your marriage. " If you wife decides to have sex (every 2-3 months) you have to grit you teeth and bang a fat woman." I can't believe that you said this... It proves that sex for you is just a release of your *****, you aren't any better than an animal. Sex between a husband and wife is about showing how much you care and love each other. Your attitude is no different then a teenage boy's! Your wife doesn't deserve a horrible husband such as you!

I knew people would rip on you for not just accepting your wife as she is. This is totally the wrong attitude. If your wife lets herself go like this, then she has no respect for anyone, including herself. There is no excuse for this. It's just plain laziness. O i know there is all of these " fake " reasons that people give. It's just not the truth. The reason why is because the " Truth " hurts! It's easy to be complacent, and do nothing if one is overweight. It takes real courage to get up, and do something about it. The reason i know is because i was about 30 pounds overweight, and did not feel good at all. I have lost most all of it recently, and i feel so much better about myself. It was not easy at all. I have cut out junk food, and really try to workout everyday. Ask Richard Simmons. I respect that he says, " Why are you fat " on his license plate! I am not making fun of people who are overweight. I am saying if you are Married, you should try to keep yourself in decent shape, if you love your spouse. The Body is the " Temple of the Soul " I think we are supposed to try and take care of our Body, since it is a Gift from God. I know you that hate, or don't believe in God will rip me for this. I will close with: I don't care if you like being fat, that's fine with me. You are the one that has to drag around all that fat. I am happy that i lost weight. I'm going to workout right now, and i'm not lying. :)

Hi there...no some of us out here agree with you....and are woman. I'm working out right now thinking of staving off my own inner Jabba the Hut lol. I will not subject my husband to this kind of existence. As long as I'm healthy, I will remain as in shape and sexy as I can. I'm 44 and fat wives hate to see me coming lol...but they should not hate sexy fit women...they should join ranks!!

A 44 year old that lies about her age in here.

I am a man and I like women who have some shape on them, not a competitive man pleaser without a backbone who lies about her age. Shallow.

As if God has anything to do with this. Lol!

If you believed in God at all (which I don't think you should, but you threw his name into it) , you would also realize that lust is a sin and that he built all humans in his likeness, all humans. Not just your built body.

Well I am a woman and I have 2 adult children. I work out regularly. I stay in shape, keep my hair and skin up, dress sexy, wear the lingerie. My husband lusts after me still after 15 years and that's exactly how I want to keep it. He will have little reason to run out and seek attention from another when all he can think about is coming home to his very own vixen. I am sick and tired of people saying how a man should love his wife no matter what size she is. Number one, the OP apparently does love her. He has tried to impress upon her how he desires to remain attracted to her so that he can be completely happy with her and only her. Sounds like he has not cheated....he really needs to vent out his severe frustration with this situation. It is a fact that men are very visual. They also express love through sex....they operate differently than us women. I could say that she is the one that acts like she doesn't love him as she has routinely ignored his pleas for her to get into shape. It's selfish for her to laze around and let herself become Jabba the Hut while he increasingly feels trapped in the marriage. I see so many women let themselves go and wonder why their husbands eyes rove elsewhere. Give the man something sexy to look at! He is TRYING to look at you! Make that possible. Make his home a true castle by being the beautiful queen he desires. What's wrong with that!?? The womens lib has ruined more than a few marriages giving qomen the false idea looks do not matter with a husband and he does not need sex. If this is an uncomfortable idea for a woman...she shoukf look into another institution other than marriage. He is your husband girls...make him happy. After all....we expect him to do his part. Stop with the excuses.

A shallow, ridiculous slave to visuals and emptiness.

You may ralley against women's lib, but let's see if your man still finds you sexy after menopause.

Every woman's face starts to fall and their stomachs expand after menopause, it's a natural, okay process, And there is no saving you unless you start starving yourself and every day you will go more hungry than the last trying to please your man.

Very soon you will trapped in the non "women's lib" world trying to keep with 20 somethings as a 50 year old post menopausal old lady and getting older and uglier and ridiculous and it's sad. And you would have trained your husband to think that is what he should expect. So foolish.

Thank you Mikki! Very well said. It's a shame that more women aren't like you. It seems the majority of women think it's perfectly normal and fine to let themselves go once they're married and become fat and sloppy. I don't blame the OP when he says he has to grit his teeth and bang the fatty. I'm sure if she looked like that when they met he wouldn't have even gone a first date. What I don't understand is how he can even do it. A man needs to have an erection in order to have sex, how can a man get an erection with someone who appears disgusting to him physically? He obviously still loves her, but doesn't love what she looks like. Can loving who someone is actually give a guy a *****? And to people that say sex is an act of love, well no, it isn't. Sex is an act of passion, I'm sure most, if not all of us have had sex with at least one person we didn't love. If his wife actually loved him, she would have tried to maintain the figure she had when they got married, or even improved upon it, not the opposite. Sounds like bait and switch to me.

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I really wish I had the chance to talk to your wife woman to woman. Besides the weight, every wife needs to keep their house very clean, cook breakfast, lunch and dinner for their family and give that love to their husbands. I am very thankful with God that I read this. I am the obese wife married to a very responsible and loving husband. We meet 5 years ago and I was still obese. Same weight as today. I am 5 ft 6 weight 250. And Im angry at myself for still being this way. Blaming that I can lose weight due to the death of our son and giving birth to two other children. I pretend to be happy and I am not looking this way. I always get the your beautiful from many people even strangers but it stops there. And our sex life is wonderful. We have a great time sometimes many times a week and we never go longer than 2 weeks. Of course it would be great to be able to do other positions more than 7. But I don't want my husband to get tired of me looking this way. So I started eating healthy a very clean diet and I already lost 10 pounds in 2 weeks. It's not much but it's a start of a healthier me. Im only 24 years old. I just hope that your wife realizes that we are all worth it and we all deserve a healthy life. Yes I know it's not easy but I'm giving the best of me. God Bless and try taking your wife to counseling. Hopefully talking to a couselor would open her eyes. I wish you the best.

U go girl!!!!! So happy to read this.

How ridiculous.

But of course, you believe it is your duty as a Christian to serve someone.

Interesting how enslavement is always the way of Christianity.

Enslave the Romans, enslave the Jews, enslave the women. Serve serve serve.

Girlfriend if you are unhappy being overweight, by all means lose it. But it isn't your duty to be thin for anyone else but yourself. Grow a backbone.

Don't listen to dumber than you, you should lose weight for health reasons being that you're 100 pounds over a healthy weight. You obviously don't have to lose weight to please your husband though, he must like fat women.

I am stuck in this situation, too, except I am a wife stuck with a 450 pound morbidly obese husband that I have to try to get hot for the once a year we have sex. We don't even sleep together because he is so big. Unfortunately, I am in my 30s and in the middle of my sexual peak. Like you, I am married, so won't sleep with someone else. I try to get him to walk with me, but he won't get off the couch. You posted this 4 years ago. Has your situation improved?

He probably killed her and buried her in the basement

No, he probably ran out of pork rinds with lard dip and ate the poor woman

Why would you bother trying to get a 450 pound guy to have sex with you? Husband or not, that has to be disgusting! If he's going to allow himself to be like that, he's basically disrespecting you and your marriage. He also has to realize that you want sex more than once a year, but doesn't care enough to get in shape, or please you. I know if I was 450 pounds, I'd pretty much EXPECT my wife to have an affair.

amen.. i feel your pain..

Women like this are lazy and selfish....allowing themselves to turn into the type of woman that her husband wouldn't even go near if he were single. They're pathetic.


heard all this before like a record playing.

I am one of these guys stuck in this situation. And after going through everything I have decided to grit my teeth and live with it, mostly for my kids. There is a history of what was tried, so I dont need advice on how to change it; the time for that is past. Regardless of the quality of this decision, I am asking for advice on how to live with it. What do you do to cope with it? How do you live day to day going forward? Thanks.

As an aside and just to avoid questions, my wife is 5 feet over 200 pounds and has put on at least 75 pounds. We are both in our mid 40s married for 15 years. She has been this way for about 8 of those years. I am 5'8 160 the same as I was when we got married.

You have one life only. Don't settle for being miserable. Marriage is a true joy with 2 committed partners. A woman who allows herself to become morbidly obese and disgusting demonstrates a complete lack of respect for her partner and her marriage. Get out and find a true partner.

I have a suspicion that even though you are middle aged, you are a single man.

So what if he is? You're a middle aged single guy that sounds gay. No straight man says "girlfriend" when addressing a female. But it seems that you like fat chicks, so maybe you're bi. Doesn't really matter to me, just pointing that out for you.

I suggest you drink an entire bottle of whisky before copulation and also a blindfold (on yourself)

Or, you could actually try complimenting her constantly on how gorgeous she is so she actually finds being pretty for your worst her time and go to counseling to figure out why you are so brainwashed by society so much that you don't see beauty in the woman that decided to devote her life to you.

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You know....thank you for this because I am one of those wives. I'm a 250lb 5'7" insecure wife with every excuse in the book. Don't get me wrong I do work my big *** put in 45 hours a week to help my husband but lately I've become those fat wives who raises hell when she catches her husband looking at skinny women. It's all my fault. I've made my husband go into mental depression and I'm pushing him away every time it happens. I stay at home don't join him to certain events because my insecurity and the fact that I'm not attractive. I'd like to thank the writer for this because you are absolutely right. I can't live my life like this because I will lose my family. If my husband were to cheat on me I'd completely understand. Sometimes us fat women just need a harsh truth spat at us. I'm gulity of buying excersise equipment not using it and gym memberships. I came to a conclusion I should do this for my husband and my family but also for me. I want to be the woman every man looks at I want to dress slutty give my husband a night to remember. So thank you to all the jerks out there. You just woke up a double chin obese wife into reality.

Wish my wife realizes and takes serious efforts to reduce weight. I cannot escape the situation, because of my kids, and have not had sex with any other woman, other than my wife. All I can say is, I feel very unfortunate and wish I have better chance in my next life.

Actually, studies show that fat shaming causes people to gain more weight.

But now, with that said, I have a nice big one and love women with a little meat on them. I would never stray for a skinny lady. So if you ever split, give me a ring.

It's not meat, it's fat. You know, the part you cut off and throw away, the stuff you don't eat.

Why do you raise hell when you catch him looking at skinny women? Would you be mad if he was looking at fat women instead? Probably, right? That's normal.

Congrats for realizing what's up before it's too late.

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Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails.
When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child.
When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.
For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

I don't understand what you mean but I think it is love when you see your wife fat and call it that way. That is love to keep her from a heart attack.

happens several times at our work place...fat woman just dropping dead..it's not good...everyone should watch their health....and stop making lame excuses...we eat to live...not live to eat.

Of course you don't understand something as eloquent as that.

Beautiful stated.

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Thank you so much for sharing this-- I feel exactly the same way! I know that pregnancy is a major travail for women, but two years after giving birth, my wife's gut still hangs out past her breasts!! I often say, "maybe we should become vegetarian, maybe when you go to the gym you should do some abdos in addition to your regular workout, maybe you should learn yoga or pilates," to no avail! As you said, blaming "rail thin" super models and being too fat are two different problems.

Rather than blaming it on your wife, have you considered the fact that it isn't her fault?

Hormones go insane for some women, after having a child. A hormone imbalance will almost never correct itself if the person isn't aware of it. And they wouldn't know because hormones affect moods as well. And metabolism. And nutrient absorption. And energy cycles or the lack thereof. It's a downward spiral - a vortex, really. Tell her that you're worried about HER - NOT her weight or moods or anything - being unhappy... that you can sense it. That you'd like to take her in for testing and to talk to someone about taking time and care for her nutrition/hormones. It can last for YEARS, without assistance. I had the same problem until this past summer... more than 7 YEARS after the birth of our 3rd child, when I was 23. With a few months of the correct vitamins and supplementing my hormone levels with natural progesterone, the weight is falling away. My skin is clearing up. The constant fatigue - mentally, emotionally, and physically - is almost gone. The correct balance of vitamins and hormones makes doing things - even CONSIDERING doing things - possible. Desired, even.

She doesn't want to look awful or feel poorly about herself. No doubt, she DOES. HELP HER!

And STOP "being helpful" in the ways you've been doing, right.this.minute. I cannot imagine more hurtful insults. AS IF she wants to look the way she does. AS IF it is her fault.

I cannot believe you are routing for her! Reading you words i knew you're a woman. I'm not American, but american women are obsessed with their "rights". and being fat if the guy's fault. you women are unbelievable! you find excuses for everything. I signed up just to respond to you. I might not login again, and I don;t care what you think of me. But here is a piece of reality: "get your head out of your *** and force yourself to see things as they are. Stop blaming the poor man, and whether you like it or not, you are living in a man's world. We are everything, and please don't tell me that you are a strong "independent" woman, because you're not. It is just that no man had tamed you yet". Damn!

If ever you comeback, I said Amen to your comment. That woman must be lazy like my wife!.

If you aren't in America, why the hell do you care about women here anyway?

Go back to your ultra thin women and mind your own damn business.

Or wait? Do you have fat women bugging you there too?

I am a male friends with women all around the world and some are fat and some are thing, but the one thing I see I all the ones that have children? Their bodies change. Period and I don't see the ones in Europe bouncing back as quick as you proclaim they do, and some feel helpless.

You are an arrogant, European fool.

Your handler "Iamsmarterthanyou" tells me a lot about you, especially the "arrogance" quality.

I choose to place myself above your direct offense against myself and where I come from. I don't mind fat women as long as I'm not the one to penetrate them. I can be friends with any woman fat or thin. But I tap what I like, and that is definitely anything but fat.

There is things that bother me. Such as the double standards that women are exercising against men. Reject a woman because of her weight and you'd be called shallow. If she rejects a man because of his weight, she would be "he's not her type". That's bullshit, and yes, I'm shallow, and I don't give a single **** about it. One thing for sure, I don't lie to myself convincing myself that "everyone is beautiful if their own way", cause that is bullshit and everyone knows that.

If you choose to keep your head in your *** that's your choice. Word of advise, try to face your problems, rather than accepting them as they are. Everyone has a choice, even fat ladies with hormone disorders, there are therapies now that can solve that ****.

This makes me thirsty, I'll go grab a can of cold beer... Have a nice day

I agree with you. I have Many health ploblems including thyroid but I still get around even when I am hurting . with 3 rupurted disks in back but very supportive bf n neg ex husband never took up for me but yet took up for him larger size gfs. glad I got a good man to help support

It is possible that the man's wife is suffering hormone difficulty. What's far more likely is that she is just comfortable and lazy and takes her husband and her comfortable living situation for granted, secure in the idea that he should love her no matter what, and whether she's attractive or not. SHE can be as unattractive and do absolutely NOTHING about it, but should HE find himself attracted to other people, he is a cheater and a horrible person. However, none of us know for sure really, do we? Who knows if the man's wife has already been to a doctor. So, maybe you're right, but more likely you're absolutely wrong.

Let's just be honest as men here.

If we actually really love the women we are with, we understand them.

From what I can tell, being overweight is more bothersome to the woman than it is to the man, but depression is often the biggest cause. And the need to be thin to be desireable only deepens the depression.

What this woman needs is yes, a divorce from this poster so that she can finally find someone that loves every bit about her, fat and all.

I'm sorry, but this doesn't sound like a man's response at all. Not even close to what a man would say

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Here's a reality check for you... she's fat/slovenly/lazy (ie depressed beyond hope, at the moment) because you don't love her.

She knows you don't love her.

So why should she try? It's a living nightmare, to stay alive instead of killing herself. She lives the death she wishes for herself... being unhealthy doesn't matter because she doesn't care if she lives or dies. Sex doesn't matter either, because she loves you despite yourself... and hates herself for not being loveable. She has no idea it's your fault. She blames herself... she's not good enough for you to have sex with, in her own mind. She's not good enough for you to love, in her own mind. In her mind, she's thinking that it's better for you to be away from her... to push her away, because she's not worthy of you. She hates herself (and thus, any part of herself or worth.)

That's your fault. ONLY your fault. You don't love her. You never did. Her subconscience knows it, even if her mind doesn't recognize it yet.

wow, i signed up just to reply. your post stopped me dead in my tracks.

Really a cop out. Adults are wholly responsible for what they feed themselves. The fact is that sadly, an adult woman of average height and activity level can only eat about 1500 to 1800 calories a day without gaining weight. That is not much when measured in burgers and fries. Self control and honesty about what one is really eating are the means to weight loss. It is not fun but perhaps worthwhile if she would like to keep her marriage. Why should a man stay with an obese partner that he is ashamed of? Kids don't want an obese mother either.

So you expect women to starve themselves to keep a man like yourself?

This is very funny.

How the **** is eating 1500-1800 calories a day "starving" herself? Vegetables are very low in calories, very healthy, and taste good. I doubt you could even eat 1800 calories of lettuce in a day, it's very filling.

Thank you very much, doctor. NOT. Who the HELL do you think you are, telling him that he never loved her? It's painfully obvious that he loves her. If he didn't, he would have left long ago, never made any effort to help her get in better shape not only for her self-esteem, but for her health and longevity, if not for her own sake, for her children's sake. He can easily cheat, but does not. Why? You know the answer, professor. Or do you? It's because he loves her and is committed to her and RESPECTS the commitment he made to her. She obviously does not offer either him or herself that same respect. She's exactly the sort of person that enabling CREEPS like you HURT, rather than help. Get lost, loser.

How is this in any way obvious? Loser.

The only thing obvious is how depressed she is.


And I hope he did divorce her so that she finally can get out of this hellish jail and give men like myself a chance.

Women are so mistreated and disregarded. If it was me, I would rather be a lesbian than be with a man like this.

So it's not just fat chicks that you desire, it's DIVORCED fat chicks huh? Wow, you sure are setting the bar pretty high! Reminds me of that comedy sketch from Mad TV about the dating site called "lowered expectations" lmao!!!

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Ready for the truth......
She doesn't love or respect you. The problem is - SHE, is not aware of this. Discontentment can exhibit itself in many dis functional ways. When Children are involved some parents will tolerate almost anything to maintain Family security.

When there is chemistry between couples, they naturally want to satisfy the needs of their partner. They want to be desired and the giving and receiving of pleasure is mutual.

You are correct......YOU cannot change Her. Be open to your own insecurities and fears, You are in this situation for a reason....the answer unfortunately is in the subconscious of both of you.

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I personally like a thick fat woman with a curvy shape . Big fat thighs(drool) but if she looks like Danny Devito that is not good. If your wife is obese it would be good for her and her kids to try to lose some weight and eat better . And maybe she will get more attractive and leave you anyways.

I hate to say it but my Mom has turned into one of those obese nags for a wife.I seriously feel sorry for my Dad because now he is stuck with a totally dependent obese nag for a wife.
I think women should be able to take care of themselves.
Frankly if you can't that means your basically the same as a child not an adult.

Just get the guy a hot thin hooker for Christmas every year. At least it will give him one reason to stay off of santa's naughty list.

I'm going threw the same thing

There is no excuse for being over weight. I think that men or women that do it don't care the least for their spouse. NOBODY wants to sleep with or watch a porker that can't stop shoveling food into their mouths and is OBESE. Show your spouse what he/she married and stop being a lazy food stuffing porker. Good grief !!!

Close your mouth you little naive child.

Come back to this thread 3 babies, 20 years, 50 lbs added and one unhappy selfish husband from now.

To indulge these middle aged loser men with your adolescent girlish ignorance makes my eyes roll.

Perhaps you should reserve the "close your mouth" comments for the fatties, they're the ones that need that advice the most!

I agree Tina, these fat people don't seem to know how to operate their mirrors properly. No excuse!

I totally agree and I am a woman who eats moderately and exercises moderately, and through two pregnancies tried to take all fats, sugars, and junk food snacks out of my diet. My doctor told me that women who gain a normal amount of pregnancy weight generally have easier deliveries with less stress to their babies if they aren't carrying a bunch of extra weight. He said, "Just don't put one thing in your mouth that isn't good for you. I worked and exercised rather briskly (aerobics, long fast walks) through both pregnancies. In pregnancy 1, I had severe nausea and lost seven pounds during the first trimester, and so had a net weight gain of 12 pounds and gave birth to a 7.3 pound baby. Since he breast fed for a year, I lost another ten pounds during his first year. The second pregnancy, I was seven years older and I had to really limit my food intake, or the kinds of food I ate, because my body kept a sluggish metabolism, unlike the first pregnancy, so I found myself eating a lot of carrots and drinking a lot of V8s. In pregnancy 2, I gained 17 pounds, and gave birth to a 6.7 lb baby, and this time, breast feeding did not speed up my metabolism, it slowed it down. Both babies were exclusively breast fed for 5 months before taking solid foods and continued to nurse until they stopped on their own. Baby #2 fed voraciously from the breast every 2-3 hours for 7 months, and did not give it up until he was 14 months old. For the first year after my 2nd pregnancy, I carried an extra ten pounds even though I did not over eat. My body just seemed to want to carry 10 more pounds, because I was working full time after 5 months, exercising, and busily raising and supplying food for an infant and caring for a seven year old. When second baby ceased nursing, the last 10 pounds fell off in a matter of weeks, and that was my normal adult weight for the next 30 years--between 130 and 135 pounds at 5'7," i.e. a size eight or 10. I am really disrespectful of women who use pregnancies and more pregnancies as an excuse to let themselves go. One friend said, " well you know you're going to get fat anyway, and you feel so tired and overwhelmed with the other babies or toddlers that you just reward yourself with cherry cheesecake." To me it is a terribly cruel "bait and switch" method of working to be slim to be attractive enough to land a great, and great looking husband, and once you have secured him with the blue line on a urine-stained stick, you're home free and will never have to diet again. So women just allow themselves to get Wal-Mart Photo huge, have a baby probably by C-section due to obesity or pregnancy diabetes, have the baby, be exhausted nursing the baby and caring for the others, being sleep deprived, and being depressed that they are so fat that they eat more "comfort food" to help with the depression. And husbands look back at their honeymoon pictures 8 years ago and now have ZERO physical attraction to those once-nicely-shaped women they are now stuck with. To blame obesity on pregnancy is just a lie.Also, women do NOT need to punish themselves with massive work at the gym post pregnancy. Studies have shown that weight loss in women is and always has been mostly achieved not even with ANY punishment; just reduce the amount of food you eat through portion control, reduce carbs, fats, and sugars, fill up on lean proteins and plenty of fruits and vegetables as close to their natural state as possible, and get some calories burned with some kind of exercise at least 4 times a week.A woman who has just gone through nine months of pregnancy, several or all of which were less than comfortable, Heaven knows how many hours of labor, several weeks of soreness in the nipples and the cervical or vaginal tissues which may have been cut or torn, and which are made more difficult due to bleeding, severe cramping as the uterus regains its former shape--a baby sucking on your nipples, torn tissue in a place that is constantly wet and sat on, big contractions for weeks every time the baby breast feeds and no painkillers for any of it because you can't feed the baby your painkillers: this all REALLY REALLY HURTS, AND INTERCOURSE HURTS!--Well, this woman should not feel the need to punish herself with starvation and heavy exercise. She and her husband should be enjoying their family, because this is a really sweet time even though lots of it is hard, and should share the duties of shopping and cooking meals that are good for the whole family, and she should enjoy the wonderful exercises of daily swims or brisk stroller walks. Just be healthy, concentrate on what is fun (swimming or walking or bike riding with your family is always fun; so is preparing some baked chicken, a salad, a steamed vegetable, and some yogurt for dessert; so is enjoying a glass of wine together a couple of nights a week; so is just snuggling with your baby and toddlers and pets for a sweet, slow and easy part of each day.)
Space 1999, I am in total agreement with you except for the exercise machines, which I would never force on anybody, but that's because I find them punishing whereas I adore regular and all-in bike rides, brisk walks, pool exercise, fishing, horseback riding, roller skating, cooking, gardening both by myself and as a family. I think women who use pregnancy as an excuse to be and stay FAT (you've got to cut her a break and allow her a year to be a little bit plump, because if she's breast feeding, the baby is more in charge of her appetite, energy, hormones, and metabolism than she is) are like cheaters (not marital cheaters, but like used car salesmen, lawyers, politicians, kids taking tests or playing a sport on the field). The person who made her vows to you has so little respect for those vows, or for herself, or for you, or all of these, that she isn't even the same person she was, which definitely assures that you aren't the same person you were (You hate her). It's grounds for divorce if you ask me, unless some major illness is involved. These things should be negotiated before babies get made. A husband shouldn't be just a bystander to his wife's pregnancy. Men should inform themselves and if necessary, be the enforcers if the OB/GYNs will not: "Don't put anything into your mouth that isn't good for you, and for the sake of your delivery and your recovery over the following year, just be really careful with your weight, since for 99% of healthy pregnancies, there is absolutely no reason why the mother should gain more than 25 -35 pounds." It's a mother and child health issue, it's a physical AND mental health issue, it's a MARITAL health issue.


I have the opposite problem. Im a 41-yr old working woman, 5'4", 110 lbs, and my husband is overweight and has gotten diabetes and high cholesterol. He is now virtually impotent. Should I leave him?!

It depends on your whole life, whether you have kids, how old they are, what the economic impact would be to you, would you be homeless, would you have to pay him alimony, are you two the only ones that this would affect, would he be entitled to your pension, health insurance, etc? Is this the only thing wrong or one of many things wrong? Would he be willing to see a therapist with you, a real doctor who could refer you to dietitians, nutritionists? Is he willing to try to lose weight if you two took up some activities with each other, like walking fast, playing a sport, joining a gym, shopping and cooking with you? Has he been medically checked for a health problem which could contribute to weight gain? Do you two love each other, or do you like each other enough to explore whether the love could be re-kindled? Is he depressed? Would he get mean and nasty in a divorce? Do you have family members who could help you with the meanness and despair that come with divorce, and the impoverished, alone life afterwards, possibly without the home you've created?something happened to make this man change his life course. Is he willing to do the work to go back to that inciting incident and begin to heal himself in a constructive active way as opposed to clinging to passive inertia? Could you help him face what caused this change in him, and work with him to help him discover his joy in life. Is he willing to try? If he's willing to try, I would give the marriage a chance even though it will take effort. If he's not willing to try, and you can see yourself building a happy, quality life without him, then I would say he's already left you and if you can stand the hell of a divorce and beginning your life maybe in a different place with your income diminished, then I think, yes, give yourself the chance at happiness, especially if a divorce would not bring pain to children.

so when for better or worse was read, you must have been in the bathroom at this time

Give him a choice if you still love him. Lose weight or you will leave. You are young and have many options for happiness. Remember, you only have one life. Don't waste it on someone who puts food before you.

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I really bad for you and your situation.
I’m a very driven individual, BUT, I did the EXACT same thing when I was married 6 years ago. I’m 5’7 and on my wedding day weighed 135 lbs. My husband and I certainly had our issues. Over the course of a year I gained 45 lbs (It was horrendous). Prior to that I was VERY active, had a lot of interests, and ate a clean diet. I don’t have kids, since I will always be married to my career. But there were some significant stressors that lead me to pile on weight quickly. Fortunately for me, none of these were medical. However, a year later I hit burn out from work and his selfishness. He had been cheating on me long before we were married, I later found out and a year after we were married, we divorced. I fell into a deep depression and the weight kept piling on until I was 210 lbs. All the while I was gaining and didn’t care enough about myself to do anything about it. I took a look at my life and was mortified! One day I woke up and made a decision for me. Not anyone else, but for me. I didn’t do it to be attractive; and I didn’t do it because I thought it would get me generally further in life. I did it for me and for my health. I took baby steps, I didn’t jump in all at once, but I ensured that exercise was always a bit difficult. Anything that went into my body had to be unprocessed and contained little to no sugar. I drank only black coffee and water. I watched my portion sizes and ensured that I was eating FREQUENTLY. I was never hungry and it was always healthy. Though if I did indulge it was always a “small” or one serving of whatever I was indulging in. Food, good food with micronutrients will fix the “tired” issue but not overnight. It makes you feel good and you want to do more because of how you feel. Weight loss is a pleasant side effect of a healthy diet. You start dressing differently and you want to do things. How does this relate to your situation? I would say you need to have a frank conversation with her. Not in an “I can’t stand you, you’re so fat” kind of conversation. But rather, a conversation about where you two see yourselves in the next few years together. What do you want to do with your life and what are the activities that you want to try. What is your five year plan together? She may have issues with you that you’re completely unaware of. Spending your time playing video games is a great way to waste your life. You need to ask yourself as well what you want in life and out of a relationship. I’m going to assume that working yourself into exhaustion to support in game purchases and ramen noodles isn’t it. It’s your life too! If you can’t find a compromise and both make steps toward positive changes, then it may be time to separate. I can’t imagine living life and constantly be stressed and unhappy.

Come on, this guy doesn't care what her "stressors" are. He writes about her with a skill only an insensitive, selfish ***** can accomplish.

What she needs is a divorce from him just like you had from your husband so that she too can reevaluate and move one from douchebucket.

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I totally get where you are coming from except for the fact that I am completely turned off by having sex with a fat woman. All you fatties out there can get laid as often as you like by dudes with boobs. I am hardly ripped but I am active all day long, lifting and physically working. My wife lives on "Second Life" and spends every waking hour doing it. She is easily 70 pounds heavier than when we married and does nothing around the house. I cook, clean, do laundry and work my *** off 84 hours every two weeks at my primary job and work at least 40 hours a week at a second job. She ****** and moans about retirement at 55 because she is "tired". She ******* that I am not sexually attracted to her but won't lift a finger to try and change that. We don`t have kids because she had "medical limits" and I stopped wanting to have kids with her after she refused to take her health seriously. Type II diabetic, eats ramen noodles any chance she gets, goes into great detail about her bowel issues when ever she wants. I loved her once. I thought she was smart and driven but now she looks like a lame turd. I want to love her again if she would change but there appears to be no chance of that because anytime I bring up her behavior she accuses me of bullying her.

I hope she's either made changes or that you've left her since your post!!

Since you have no kids, then walk away. You made a marriage contract with someone who was 70 lbs lighter. YOU can't polish that turd. Only she can and doesn't seem to want to. Get out and find a healthy partner and have a happy life.

"Polish a turd" says an old man in his fifties.

Laughing hard over here.

The reason people turn to second life is to escape the current one. My assumption is she isn't so happy with you either. I am going to assume that divorcing her is the biggest gift you can give her, actually.

.....other than a giant plate of cookies

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My name is Diane

Rude how about fat husbands

My husbaned cheated on me several times when I go to work . He likes thinner attractive women. He feels that everything is my fault . And he would rather be a younger , thinner woman iwho is more attractive ..

Leave and let him have them. Then, become happy with yourself. You don't need him.

my husband is leaving me for some ugly fat american bleached blonde woman, the fact is why he is leaving for some ugly fat woman but I let him leave me and I get new handsome american men

I did not know what Lionel Richie was singing about in the 80's...Once , twice, three times the lady.....I am married to a 3x, not sex wise, dress size. Oh yeah, spotted a 4x the other day, oh joy...packing over 325 pounds now. Tried everything.
A friend says you cannot reason with a drunk, why do you think you can persuade or reason with a grazer? Moo.
Maybe we will hit 400 # this year. Go team.

Honestly, why do you stay? It must be so embarrasing to be seen with such a morbidly obese woman. Men are judged by the wife on their arm. Other men and women look at you and assume you are a loser because you have a fat wife. If you are not, get out. You can be happier than this. She has chosen food over her relationship with you.

Because all that matters in life is how other people view you?

What a dolt you are. So glad you are single (and yes, I can tell you are single.)

You're single too, and you can't even get the obese divorced woman you want. How sad is that?

Do you sad sack mean really think Tina is what she claims to be? No, She is a money grubber playing on your insecurities.

As a wife of an insecure man he had an affair over his size, i can tell yo uthe pain of an affair is excruciating. No matter what you choose to do, go or stay, do not cheat. It was devastating for me.

Who is Tina?

Who is Tina?


Misery loves company and I came here to get some company. I hate that my wife became so fat over the 8 years that we have been together. When we met, she was in shape and was so full of life. We worked out together and of course, had many other things that we loved doing together. After the first year, I could feel her letting go. I thought it was our relationship ending so we talked and she assured me that she wanted to be with me. As time passed, she put on more and more weight. I'm a big eater ant over 250 pounds...but I have 12% body fat. Think of the Rock only i'm about 3 inches shorter and not as handsome. Anyway, long story short, she's now about 70 pounds heavier and our sex life doesn't exist...her sex drive is gone and seemingly so is her desire to do anything to change her unhealthy ways. I'm miserable and it's depressing to think that things will never change. Yes...we have talked many times during every year that we have been together and nothing changes.

The fact that you said you looked like the Rock but not as attractive instantly explains the lack of sex life.

Just kidding. More seriously though, maybe if you just shut up for a little while about her weight she may be able get some self esteem back, but if she stays with you, maybe not.

I see her losing weight for the next guy though.

Haha me too
My wife of 25 years has blossomed t a size 20. I was a waist 30, now a 32-34 at the most
No enthusiasm & sex possible in one position great xxxxxxx love it
Not right, but. Girl at gym, 9 years older thAn my wife, 4 years older than I, is mega
Loving & being together so nice, beats being with a lump, sorry
So do I go or stay ?????


Go! you old ******! Let her be single and happier so she can finally lose the weight for a guy that she actually likes.

While noble ; deferring to
Your wife -what you are describing is slavery- not marriage.
If what you are saying is true; and she has checked out - she has done her duty and now enslaves you- too bad she is so wrong.
Respectfully- Oprah and Dr Phil while talented people - are wrong in this area
Listening to low level authority always has its disadvantages.
The Bible is very clear- she has duties to you too.
Not only physical but also emotional happiness.
Start your own search - and hopefully she will join you.
You will Both be so much happier
God Bless You Guys
Never Quit - that goes for her too.

Oh great, another idiot referencing the bible to support being a misogonystic, insensitive douchebag.

Believe me, he will divorce her, then after, he will cry and cry. Particularly when he sees all the post divorce weight loss. It will be brilliant,

Divorce her or stop whining you big *****.

I've read a lot of comments. I am young. 23 male. My girl is the same age. Few months older. We have a 3 year old son. When we met, in 2009, of course we both were smaller. I was about 160 - 165. A skinny one though, because she still talks about how I was so skinny. She, about 140. I weightlifted a lot in high school, so that athletic frame stayed with me. Year later we had a baby. She peaked at 202 pounds. I still remember her last weigh in before the baby. Fast forward to 2014. She is about 170 - 175. I am about 185. But man oh man, do we both wear our new weight differently. Like i said I weightlifted a lot in HS. So this extra 20 pounds I have, since our son, looks very regular on me. Most people that havent seen me in a while ask have I been working out. No, but like I said, weightlifting and HS football did me well. Her on the other hand...Her entire body, minus her stomach now, has gained the few extra pounds. Totally understandable, I can deal with that. NOW WHAT I CANT DEAL WITH IS THIS HUGH SLAB OF ROAST BEEF BELOW HER **** THAT HAS TO BE "TUCKED" INTO HER TIGHTS AND PANTS WHEN SHE PUTS ON CLOTHES!! TRYING TO LOOK NICE FOR A SPECIAL OCCASION?? BRING OUT THE HEAVY DUTY GIRDLE!!! SHE PUTS THAT **** ON AND I SWEAR SHE'S GONNA PASS OUT!!! BETWEEN THE ACTUAL TIGHTNESS OF THE GIRDLE, AND HOW MUCH BELLY FAT IT ACTUALLLY HAS TO PUSH IN AND HIDE, I COULD CRY!!! Now I love my girl SOOO MUCH that I actually want to marry her. She is wonderful. Great personality, smart, funny, we get along great. And she has a very pretty face. BUT C'MON! WE HAD THAT CHILD ALMOST 4 YEARS AGO!! THAT BELLY SHOULD'VE BEEN GONE 3 YEARS AGO!! I find myself being more attracted to other women! We have talked, had arguments, and almost broken up over this, cuz I've tried to express my feelings in every way possible. First nice, to be respectful of her feelings. And then mean, cuz she doesnt listen when I am nice about it!!! My heart somewhere my **** is totally not. And Im young. If I marry her, I feel i will have to deal with this roast beef for the rest of my life. I ****** up alot in my younger years, but for the past couple, I've been working 2 jobs and going to school. But I fear getting myself into this mess, may be my worst **** up yet!

At night when she's sleeping she pulls the cover over it so I wont see. Put I pull it back. When she is laying on her side, her stomach extends a full 7-8 inches in front. I measured it! I challenge any woman to lay on her side, get a tape measure, and extend it 7 inches in front of your stomach! That a lot of fat!!! So I do that math, if she weighed 140 when we met and she's 170 now, thats 30 pounds. Divide that in half u got 15. Now one 15 is distributed through out her whole body. That other 15, PURE GUT!!! 15 LARD POUNDS OF PURE GUT!!! And she only 5'3"

Now Im gonna go shower and go to class, to see pretty women, whom I know some have kids, more than one I might add, and they dont have a gut like that! Also watched maury while i typed this. The woman was complaining that her man started cheating after she gained weight....but she had lost weight, and thought he started cheating again. Man took that lie detector, passed with FLYING COLORS!!! Proof no man wants a woman with a pot roast for a stomach!

Your girl at 5''3 is 40 lbs overweight. She could lose the weight but still have quite a bit of belly skin left over from the pregnancy. If so, she would be a candidate for a tummy tuck procedure. That could really solve her issue but is expensive. You are very young so probably just getting out of this relationship is your best bet. Some men have a hard time with the after effects of pregnancy on a woman's body, some don't. You could both be happier with other people.

You, my friend are young and naive, but are training to be a rather empty, shallow husband and father.

The fact that you are training your son or daughter to view women this way is utterly disgusting.

How dare you compare your 23 year old non pregnant yet somehow miraculously lean body to a beautiful woman that just magically carried two of your children?

I hope you do leave her so she can finally find love. You are horrid.

He compared her to other girls that had kids and aren't fat and nasty. She also didn't "magically have 2 kids", she only had one kid, and it wasn't magic that got her pregnant, it was *****. It's becoming pretty obvious that you actually aren't smarter than anyone.

LOL you measured her hahahaha but jeeze... someone needs to hit the gym huh


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Same here. Dont know where to turn.

Boom! Nailed it. Biggest mistake of my life. I married the wrong person. She's up five pounds a year for 11 years running with no ability or will to change. Marriage, what a bleepin joke.

I completely understand you help2005 and of course the post by space1999.
I am married to someone who used to win beauty pageants as recently as 6 years ago (when she was 29) but now she's just an ugly overweight frump that I cannot stand...
And like space1999's missus: she blames everyone and everything for her unattractive 'condition' including on old time favorite and total MYTH: the birth control pill (which she last took in 2011 anyway).
I have a tendency myself to easily gain weight, but unlike these fat wives of ours, I keep an eye on it. I don't care what my wife or what others perceive me as, I MYSELF like to see an attractive, toned man staring back at me whenever I look at him in the mirror.
It just totally baffles me why she and other obese wives cannot adopt the same philosophy - I always thought women were generally a lot more vain than us men could ever be... Not so!

lazy, thats the problem. After women get married they think, ok i got him trapped now i can sit down and eat bon bons. ha ha My moms friend got divorced and she was a cow then suddenly she lost about 70 lbs and started looking for another man. I am sure that after she hooks another one she will turn back into a cow and stuff her face again.

Probably, yeah. But what you've just described about your mom's friend proves one thing which I've always insisted: It IS their fault and therefore they CAN do something about it if they want to.
Thanks tina...

I would not want a guy with a six pack to get a big beer belly after he married me, **** that would suck. So I know guys wake up with a cute slim girl that is hot so he wants her badly all the time and can't stop thinking about her. So i think staying in shape is the way a woman should take care of her man ...!!!! period

tina, yes and that's what makes it even more disappointing for me. I still weigh the same as I did the day we first met (+/- maybe 2 lbs). I have a little more grey hair, but apart from that I have TRIED to maintain my looks as best I can.
She by contrast, just let herself rapidly deteriorate from someone who only six years ago, won a beauty pageant to a fat, sexless frump that I cannot even look at anymore, never mind have sex!

No. It proves they are incredibly unhappy in the marriages and lose weight when they finally are released from the bonds of doom.

yep! Typical a story. This is true. Women often find themselves unhappy in marriages, gain weight and lose it after.

I am so embarrassed to be a man and read these comments. Truly the stupider sex.

No, you aren't just vain, you are also incredibly dull.

Hormones and birth control do actually lead to weight gain. Plus a ton of other things. Boredom for one, I imagine you bore her greatly.

In either case send her to me. Slightly chubby beauty queen sounds good.

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I agree with the posts that say that your wife should try her best to stay healthy. Kids should not be an excuse. I know many women who had lost the baby fat in less than a year. I think that if you love your man, you should try your greatest to stay healthy and show him affection and positivity every day. Women need to understand that men connect best with their partners during sex, just like how women believe that they themselves need their emotional needs (because it is important) satisfied by a man. The largest problem with being at an unhealthy weight (according to men) is that the woman loses her confidence in her appearance and her sex drive. I'm not saying that you should divorce your wife immediately after she gains 40 lbs. What you should do is try to motivate your wife, if you do love her, and bring her into therapy and health classes. And men, don't whine about your fat unattractive wives if you are also considered fat or overweight with a beer belly equivalent to the size of a pregnant woman's 7 month old baby bump.

It seems that women always think that a man should understand and deal with it, bullshit. I am female and i stay fit. I intend to stay fit and i understand why a man does not want to F*** a fat woman, its gross. Globbys, rolls, dimples, uggg..... Lost weight women and if you cut off your man from sex i hope i find him.

Physically fit, trashy, and a hint of ****? That is definitely every mans dream!

So says to two young girls. Listen ladies, I know you have only had twenty something years on this earth, but do check back in here after you have a few kids and pass age 35. You won't be so naively cocky and your husband too will be complaining about your "laziness"

Thank you tinatina55... It's a shame that only a tiny fraction of women share your PROPER / NORMAL attitude and worldview.
Whether those indoctrinated, deluded feminists (who promote 'fat acceptance') like it or not: Men are attracted to what they see and what they see is on the OUTSIDE (of the body)... BBW [Big Beautiful Woman]. What bullshit! That phrase is in fact the perfect paradox!
PS: I hope you find me!

whats the difference between an elephant and a dyke with a flannel shirt????

about 50 lbs.....

tina, is it really THAT much? LOL!

That's why us dykes prefer to have the company of a woman, because we don't criticized by you narcissistic men

Well you don't have a lot of choices anyway.

This is the "I hate my fat wife" blog. You need to remove your cruel post and attach it to an " I hate lesbians" thread.

You are such a stupid person. It's incredible.

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I should have seen the red flags but ignored them because I was never in a relationship that I thought was this good at the start. I'm not into blondes and she was a blonde. I tried to push that out of my mind. We had several break ups over dumb things. Not like anyone cheating on another, just she'd nick pick about things to me. I don't drink, smoke, do drugs and she didn't either. She was younger then me by a few years. We weren't suppose to get married but she rushed it when we should have been broken up completely. 6 months before the wedding, she said she wanted to lose 50 lbs to get into a nicer dress. it was then that I noticed her breasts and waist. She has an H cup bra size which to me is simply gross. her face, arms, stomach, entire body is a blob. If you saw what she looked like a decade ago, she got free food, coffee, gas at the gas station and looked like a legit model. now if she was dating someone else and I didn't know her, I'd feel sorry and embarassed for that guy. I agree with that guy about the sex comment. I'd rarely to never touch her at all. Especially sex. I'd rather meet other girls for a one night stand or see a ton of **** then give this fat *** a kid. When I looked at photos and videos of what I was like before I knew her and during 6 month long break ups, my life with my family was great. I had everything going well and no debt. This pig I married spent over 900 dollars on kick boxing classes and never went. She had 2 gym memberships and never went. She bought weights and other things but never used them. She just lays on her broken down couch with her ugly *** pets that vomit on the couch and give off sand fleas, and she just moans and says, "I'm sooooo tired...." She buys hundreds of dollars on veggies only to see them rot every week. She buys expensive blenders and never ever uses them. She has tossed the same clothes around filled with dirt, dust, her hair and pet hair and lets it sit there for MONTHS and never cleans. I offer to do it but she flips out that I touch her clothes. Seeing her bra hang up in the bathroom makes me want to actually kill myself for real. I see women daily where I go and I'm a A-C cup fan and I don't care if she's 100 lbs-150 but my fugly wife is over 200 lbs and it's so gross especially with those huge ugly breasts and tiny nips that couldn't breast feed a field mouse. You could think a pimple is a nip during forplay easily. I find it funny when her ex's contact her while shes married to me because i personally could care less. My wife is like the women on plenty of fish. THey look thin in pics of their face but if you see them in person, you'd run, change your voice and pretend you're not from this country. I'll never give this cow any kids and I've been told by my entire family to divorce her already. I'm working on that in 2014. Working on my plan what she did to me first... The women out there that I see I like a lot more because I learned the hard way that if you date a woman and she's thin and young but her family is fat, especially the women in her family, then she'll turn into an elephant too. It's in the genes. Geez I look at old women in their 50's-70's and think, man at least they're still average to thin. But this one... man, no one in the world would marry her. I sent a pic of her before and after and made it a pic and showed it to a friend of mine and he was like, "dammmmn... what the hell happened to her?" lol This pig wants a brat but not a house and she has NO money. Yeah... and you wonder how could some people do such terrible things to others in the news daily? This is the prelude that leads to such terrible decisions. Bottom line- date a small breasted woman and make sure her mom and sisters r thin too. Otherwise stay single. Who cares of her color of her skin, race, creed, religion. Worry about that later, as long as you can bang a woman you love that's thin and actually attractive.

Actually you are dead on the money. I walk through the malls and some women treat me mean because of how i look, their husbands stare at me, i just smile at them. Most of the older women that are married are tubs of lard and they put on makeup and buy the best clothes to look good but are fat. Comon ?!! A women does not have to look like a teenager all her life but as someone said on her, to gain 11 lbs a year is stupid. If you EXERCISE and control your eating some you can look good all your life. Also looking at her family is smart, if her mom is a tub of lard or crazy acting, watch out. Good advice. I worked out hard in high school in gymnastics and you can bounce a quarter off my ***. My goal is one lb per year in weight gain and hopefully its muscle. Besides if some guy tries to hurt me i can put it all behind my foot into his softies. ha ha

You are such a ******* idiot

There is nothing wrong with a nice pair of big natural boobs. I am a natural 32G. I'm 5'4, 115 lbs, I'm petite, yet I'm curvy and have a bubble butt. My fiance worships me and I can't go anywhere without men and women hounding me. I blame this on my ethnicity. I'm half Mexican and half Irish, which is a very exotic look. Anyways, yes small breasts are nice, but I love my boobs! I've had two kids and my boobs are still full, bouncy and firm. My nipples are perfect. My body is still tight and amazing, no stretchmarks... not even a hint of childbirth ever taking place. I'm rambling. Anyways, I took the liberty of wasting two minutes of my life explaining how awesome I am because there is nothing wrong with having big boobs. You shouldn't advise men to only date women with small boobs. It's small women like myself with large breasts that are actually wild in bed. I wouldn't trade them for a smaller pair if my life depended on it!

That really is soul-crushing, and I thought I had it bad. I broke up with my GF of 10 years a year ago and since then it was pretty sh*t (well, it was already crappy 2 years before that). I instinctively know what you've described about the family of your potential GF. I dated a girl for a short while and what put me off (not exclusively but it had its fair share) was the looks of her mother and sister (so different to her!). I like girls like you: thin smaller-breasted. Perhaps this is because I myself am 190cm/90kg (my ideal weight is 85kg, but I am also quite muscular) and if I "bred" with someone large, we would have huge offspring :-) But it's getting exceedingly difficult to date a thin girl as they are disappearing fast (even here in Middle Europe). Last Summer I had a flight through Heathrow and THAT was really painfull to look at the women there.

Good luck, but I suppose you have every right to fulfill your sexual needs (whatever that requires). This even looks like you should get a divorce.

Your writing has a wonderfully descriptive flair and I'm glad to see a blog that is written on such a taboo subject has gotten so many reasonable responses instead of just a string of obscenities people are yelling at each other. Your situation sounds unbearable and I know you can't reverse a horrible mistake you made 6 years ago, but 6 months before you married her, you saw that it would be a big mistake, so I am so troubled about why you married her! At any rate, it sounds like these problems are all her own and not caused by you or your relationship, so I don't see how a counselor would help, but I believe in vows, so I would give counseling a committed try, and I would certainly keep her on a tight budget so she could not get you in further debt. To me the filth is a symptom of the obesity which is a symptom of her depression which you are not causing. Just set a timeline in your mind and a route and a date and by which you are going to give yourself a shot at happiness, and share it with her, and if she won't agree to contribute or work towards her own happiness too, alongside you, then recognize that she has chosen to be miserable and would be miserable with or without you. This sadness and this filth, my a heavens this is not a third world country where poverty contributes to filth, and to starvation as well as obesity, and no one should have to live like this, and you don't either. If she won't work with you to change it, end it. Don't " do terrible things," above all! You don't want to end up life in prison because you acted on your revulsion to your fat filthy wife!

I sincerely hope you left her so she can finally marry a loving person. I read your post thinking you must be in your twenties and it turns out you are in your late 30s. Which means to me, you have the mentality of a child. You truly are such a disgusting creature.

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Okay, let's say this guy starts to become obnoxious while in public on a regular basis to the point he embarrasses his wife every time they go into public. What should she do? Should she not say anything because she loves him and if he wants to change it is up to him? Lets say he owns up to his behavior and says he will try to change his behavior, but after a few months he goes back to his old self. Should the wife then say--well this is just who he is. I need to love him for he is is and not try to change him?

Good argument dannyjohn123

I sincerely hope she leaves him before he does. There would be great comedy in that.

So...has SHE ever complained about her own weight? You haven't given any evidence for this. It sounds like only YOU are the one with a problem about it. Have you considered that she might be perfectly happy at the weight she is at? If she isn't doing anything about it, it must mean she feels content. You've led a horse to water, but the horse isn't thirsty, so it's not going to drink. I should think the answer to all of your questions would be totally obvious if you stopped to think about it from her point of view, and not your own selfish view of what she "should" be doing.

You are clearly a fat chick and don`t understand what it is like to be sold a bill of goods by both a woman who wants everything but it not prepared to offer everything. I will say this. There is enough data out there that tells you that smoking is bad for you, and mismatched HDL to LDL and that PCOS is essentially Type II diabetes for 90% of women with a BMI over 30. My advice to you tubby is to focus on the war on women that is holding you down. As a guy who married a beautiful woman who was smart, funny, educated and driven only to see her abandon OUR LIFE and PLANS to become a fat, self centered, lazy miscreant who is now the bane of my existence. She has the absolute gall to tell me to "quit picking on me" when all I ever say is "honey I am worried about your habits". I deserve a partner who cares for herself as much as she cares for me. What you, you fat piece of **** don't understand is that guys are as much attracted to women who execute on a plan and hold themselves accountable.

You are right. You have a right to pursue happiness. Just leave her and find someone new. It will only only be difficult for a short time.

Listen here dumbass, a woman isn't "goods" and she didn't sell herself to you. She certainly didn't sell her looks to you, she decided to partner with someone to create a family, grow love and companionship.

If we follow your idiotic standards she should sell you to the glue factory the moment you get some gray and your already limp **** can't raise anymore due to age. I mean you did "sell her" YOUR goods. (Which I suspect aren't that "good")

Happy people act happy or at least normal. They don't live on sofas infested with fleas and dog hair.

Look who she is tied to? Can't see much to be happy about.

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It is sad you do not like your wife because she has become fat and do not want to change herself. It seems you both have very diferent life style. I could live comfortably in relationship with a fat or obese woman like your wife is. But for me even very fat women are attractive.

Yes I know there are men such as yourself who indeed PREFER obese bodied women... Unfortunately I am NOT one of them, nor are most men.
You're lucky.

Well have at pard. The buffet is open in this country. You can't swing a dead cat without hitting a dimpled cheese ***.


You don't love her, you love some idealized version of her physicality that she may have resembled long ago before she sacrificed everything to have your kids. You talk about her as though she's just a body, not a mind. Good for you that you keep in shape if that's what you want; guys are supposed be more muscular, but you sound like a fanatic. Do you want your wife to be the same as you. Do you need to compensate for something? Women are supposed to be softer and more nurturing.

My guess is that you'd rather have arm candy to show off to your peers rather than a soulmate that gives you sublime satisfaction that no one needs to brag about.

I disagree with you DoctorFill. You have to find your mate attractive. If seeing them naked repulses you then there will be no intimacy in the relationship. And that is a huge part of loving someone.

Of course it's a big part, but if you commit to loving someone in a marriage you understand that physical appearance is fleeting. If you love her now and not 30 years hence when aging takes its toll, that's not really a mature relationship.

Well DoctorFill, perhaps we should blame God or Nature (if agnostic). I cannot help my sexuality and that dictates that I'm naturally attracted to slim / petite women (as my wife was when we married), but NOT at all attracted to fat, rolly-poly frumps, that look like the Michelin Man's daughters. I cannot help that - it's the way I was made. I honestly wished I could be attracted to overweight frumps, but I am not and I don't think I ever will be.
Fat women CAN lose weight (i.e. change) men however, cannot change their sexuality (thus what they are attracted to) - ask any gay man.

Ha Ha Ha Ha (rolly poly frumps) !!! Women naturally carry more fat than men and some women have slower metabolisms than others. But to lose weight and look great to attract a man then let yourself go after marriage is bullshit and a sorry thing to do to someone. I don't blame a guy for looking at me in the mall. Why should his wife get mad at me when it is her that is letting herself go?!! I had a guy follow me in a mall one time when his wife was out shopping. It was real obvious that he was keeping me in his vision and walking behind me. He sat down on a bench outside a store and i just walked out and sat beside him. I said hi. He said hi. I said i noticed that you were following me and watching me walk a lot, do you do that because you like the way i look? He said you are hypnotic to watch and i could follow you to Arizona. I laughed and said oh thanks and i am happy to be entertaining for you !! We talked and he laughed and had the best time. I told him how happy i was to be a source of his enjoyment and its a real complement to me to actually be followed. He sat and praised my legs and butt and entire body and said i was so much fun to watch and apologized for bothering me, he said that he hoped i would not notice. I told him that i am wearing cutoffs and a little bit of a torn t-shirt with no bra because i am comfortable. He said your muscular legs and that great tan is fantastic and i blushed. He also said your boobs are bouncing and moving so good and the side *** thing out the side of your shirt it too much to bear !! I blushed again and asked oh you like that. He said every man does and you know it. I said oh i do, ha ha. He said and every man appreciates it and watches you just like i do. He said i have seen you here in this mall so many times and love the way you move and look. I told him that i want him to stop me every time he see's me and we can have lunch or something but i don't want your wife to sit on me. He busted out laughing and said you feel my pain?! I laughed my *** off. I said well I have to get going it was nice talking to you. He said do you mind if i follow you and stare some more. I said no i don't and is there anything special i can do for you? He said oh don't ask or i might insult you. I told him that i cannot really be insulted by a man that adores my body. He stared like he wanted me badly. I pulled the front of my Tshirt and it exposed most of my *** on the side of my tshirt opening and he sat and stared at it then reached out and ran his finger over it. He said it is so soft and beautiful and that line is wonderful. I told him bye bye. He got up and walked behind me and i was getting horny knowing that he was just staring at my butt while i walked. He was obviously an example of what Julian3333 is talking about and i did feel his pain. When he found his wife she was facing him and i turned and blew him a kiss and he tried to hide the smile. I think i made his day, ha ha I know he made mine.

Thanks tina, you might also enjoy my reply to the appropriately named "That1isstupid" below...

I hope we can get together sometime for a cup of coffee.. You are such a nice, understanding young and best of all: FEMININE woman (a TRUE girl). You are a welcome change from the usual feminist brainwashed fatties and general man-haters that make up most of toady's younger people. (And that includes young MEN). Feminists have all but destroyed women, not to mention Western society. They can try all the ridiculous propaganda they like, but they will never convince a real man to accept fatness in women. BBW - what a JOKE!
They also promote the idea (and have lobbied for and won laws) that define men who are attracted to 18 year old 'children' as pedophiles.
They are actually trying to convince men to be attracted to 'cougars' or 'MILFs' instead of what they are naturally attracted to (young nubile and fertile, attractive women / girls), because of their bitter, sexual jealousy of their younger competition. That's why you often see the fat (JEALOUS) old hags protesting outside beauty pageants and the like...

Have a good day - I know you can only have a better day than me!

Hahah you are such a sleezy pedo. I knew this was coming.

You hang out a lot at the mall. You seem the perfect age and cognitive level for old, unhappy Julian here.

It's just 6 years. By 30 years she'll be a beached whale. And he gets to live through every one of those glorious years....

Hear hear...

Good to hear from another fat hater. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, even when that beholder is oneself in the mirror. Enjoying life is not all about "discipline" to maintain a gymnast's weight, and I must strongly disagree with you--there is not a single study to show that all fat people are condemned to a life of disease, just as none show that all who smoke will get cancer. Stories abound of athletes and other apparently healthy people who adhered to your philosophy yet died prematurely anyway. Exercise is important, but a moderate to extreme amount of body fat can be more healthful than a compulsively self-starved anorexic lifestyle.

Health issues aside, I contend that "LOVING herself" is not always manifested in strict diet and rigorous exercise. Some of us, even those who are not fat, love the look and feel of it on a partner. Nothing hurts the body more than constant yo-yo dieting or forcing a body to conform to some arbitrary standard of thinness imposed by a fickle society and fashion industry at odds with ones own genetics. The fat woman who finds a lover who adores her fat is much better off emotionally and physically than the woman constantly worried that she's not thin enough--and the disgust with her own image will keep men away more than any other physical imperfection.

Enjoy your world of compulsive exercise, Draconian diets, and constant self-loathing; just please don't apply it to everyone else on the planet. Leave it to you to suggest personal lifestyle choices be subject to a now-dysfunctional healthcare system and government. Is there no limit to the amount of personal freedom you people would curtail?

These people need to watch a couple of documentaries. One: The Men Who Made Us Thin, and Two: The Men Who Made Us Fat.

Yes YOU really do live up to your screen-name That1isstupid. That 1 being you!
No 'Men' made any woman into a FAT ugly frump, nor did any man or 'Men' make them into skinny (Thin) bulimics or anorexics. They THEMSELVES CHOSE to be fat or thin as the case may be..
I've NEVER told my wife to eat (no need to - she does that ENTIRELY on her own volition very well, but far too often... And that's why she's now the fat slob she is. No coercion from me or any other 'Men' needed. She CHOSE to eat more than she needs to, she therefore made herself FAT.
So, what MEN are responsible for that??
And by the way, those FEMINIST inspired and directed documentaries you recommend everyone should watch, would be the biggest load of gender hatred screened on TV. If the genders were reversed, some 'Men' would surely be facing imprisonment.

But of course women can do whatever they like, say the most HATEFUL things (about men) even murder them with impunity...
And on top of that you expect us to love, fat, ugly old frumps too.

Yes you are indeed the stupid1

Actually, if you'd bothered to watch the documentaries, they were made in the UK by men, yeah, that's right, men. I did not say one hateful thing to this particular man, or you, for that matter. You don't see me calling you "stupid" for disagreeing with me, which you are free to do so. You are not intelligent in the sense that you seem to believe such an obviously fake story from that "woman" up there. It sounds like a male posing as a woman because they think that it's funny. Like a Penthouse man's fantasy.

If you are real, I apologize. You have to admit, it sounds completely made up. I would like to know how you will feel when you are no longer attractive to men. You seem to value your beauty and the opinions of others so much. I hope, if you are real that you find someone else to base your value on.

I'm not saying that men being attracted to thin is evil. What's evil is tricking a woman into thinking that you'll love her forever, and then treating her like **** at the first sign of imperfection. When I married, my spouse and I said vows, "I promise to love, cherish, and honor you, for richer and poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part." Most people don't take that seriously nowadays. Fortunately, I was intelligent enough to choose a man who doesn't value appearance above all else.

If you don't love you wife, leave her. You are not fooling her, contrary to what you may believe, and even if you have to spend money to get out, it's better than staying there and making you both unhappy. And for the love of whatever you may believe in, do not remarry, don't impregnate some poor girl so that's she stuck with you, don't give girls any idea that you're capable of loving them, because truth is, you're not. When you value appearance above all else, you stop loving them as soon as age steps in, or they gain weight from bearing Your offspring. You don't like the truth. Sorry, I don't hold back.

As long as you're completely honest, you are not bad, at least not from my point of view. I understand being young and stupid, and marrying the wrong person. You can correct that mistake now.

She is eating to escape the reality that she is married and raised children with to an abusive, ridiculous, idiotic, unrealistic, unforgiving, judgmental, *********.

I hope she has divorced you since this post.

You make good points. Fat women should be with men who like fat women, not with those who are disgusted by them. Life is too short to be with someone you hate.

You so don't see their point, hahahha

You are too well worded for these people, it's way over their heads.

First of all, not saying that this particular guy is a jerk. He seems to care about his wife. If your husband leaves you regardless of your attempts to stay healthy, then what will you blame it on? It isn't about fat. Point in fact, everyone grows old. Metabolism slows with age. If appearance matters that much, that a person can't look past it, maybe they should look at themselves. Guys who are jerks will find any excuse to leave, because they aren't nice guys. Appearance just happens to be their first choice because guys are supposed to be visual. The visual thing is not entirely true. Studies have been done that show that when guys are sniffing the vaginal secretions of ovulating females that they don't care what she looks like, they mark her picture as attractive. There are ways to be "big and healthy" because what is considered "big" nowadays isn't big. The whole food and diet industry sprung up from greedy people saying that there was a problem when there wasn't. The problem didn't occur until later when greedy people figured out that they could make highly caloric food for cheap, people would eat it because that is what we are genetically programmed to do-eat highly caloric food, and then the diet industry could say, "Hey, you're fat, eat, drink, and do this to lose that excess weight." So, we do what the diet industry says, The weight falls off temporarily, they make money, then our bodies go, "OMG! I'm starving!" And the weight and then some is added back on. Because we do what we are genetically programmed to do. Eat while we can because there might be a drought or famine later. People have this stupid notion now that fat is ugly. You tell me, who is likely to survive in a famine? Slightly overweight with fat stores, or stick thin model that they're touting as beautiful? I'm not saying that morbidly obese people are necessarily healthy, but they aren't inherently unhealthy just because they're morbidly obese. I've seen skinny people with a lot of visceral fat-fat covering the organs, but not noticeable on the outside-they eat what they want, and you want to tell me that they're automatically healthier? Seen plenty of morbidly obese people according to BMI that have more muscle mass than any skinny person. Is that completely unhealthy? They eat a balanced diet, and exercise more than their skinny peers. I'm not buying these blanket statements that come from ignorance. Not saying that you're stupid-just uninformed.

Excellent reply bellamae! Wished my wife had such wisdom.

well i think he is saying that she should not get FAT you know excessively overweight. I think everyone expects the other mate to gain some. But many women do just let themselves go and turn into the goodyear blimp and there is no excuse for that at all. To me it just shows a total lack of concern for your mate when you do that.

You can't be for real. Are you Julian in disguise?

Hey Fill. I am a health care provider. Women are not designed to weigh 200 pounds at 5'3". Their joints fail, their kidneys go down, their small coronary branches occlude and they become debilitated. If you knew that this was as likely to happen because of your life style as getting breast cancer is when you genetically test positive for BRACA 1 or 2 would you just **** off and do nothing? What we want is a partner who cares for herself as much as she cares for us. We care for them richard, we love them but that does not make them entitled to disregard our needs. We need them to put down the donut, to put down the 3 gallon diet soda, to quick ******* lying about going through the drive through and making excuses. I believe that viagra would be limited to, those suffering from pulmonary hypertension, patients with right heart failure diabetics, Bob Doles if more fat wives got their **** in line.

Is she behaving or did she ever behave like a soulmate?

Well said.

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I would rename your post, everyone is 100% responsible for their own happiness. I believe that when weight because a big enough problem as you're describing, there is an underlying depression/dissatisfaction. Until she accepts that and addresses that, her weight loss efforts will not produce long-term results. With that said, I hope you continue to move forward in positive ways in your life. Best wishes.

He doesn't care about her happiness, it is obvious from his comments. He is 100% disrespectful

This is my life....

ditto. Train ticket to fat express in hell.

ditto. Train ticket to fat express in hell.

I just broke off an engagement because my fiancé wouldn't watch his weight. If he can't in his 20's what will it be like when we're 50? I give you a lot of credit for taking care of yourself the way you do. Thank you for sharing - givin me an idea of what marriage to him might have looked like down the road. Keep up your hard work, your kids will learn a healthy lifestyle from you and that's one of the bet gifts you can give them!

I don't blame you.

Men are lucky. Weight drops off of them because they have more testosterone than women. You need to be patient. It took her how many years to gain the weight? It takes at the very least, 2 years to safely and permanently lose weight. Why? Because if she loses too fast, she'll gain the weight right back and even more so than what she had to begin with. For thyroid conditions, doctors have different standards on what is considered normal. Mine was not discovered until they tested my TSH(thyroid stimulating hormone). I also have sleep hypopnea, vitamin B12 deficiency, anemia, PCOS, and osteo-arthritis. These conditions make my energy level low, and can cause a great deal of pain. Pain so bad that some exercise really does hurt-a lot. And, the sleep hypopnea, left untreated makes it damn near impossible to lose because it messes with my hormone levels and my body stores fat because of the stress that it places on my body. She may very well be correct. She might have conditions that affect her weight loss. My husband didn't believe me until I was tested and the myriad of problems was found. You can help by being understanding instead of nagging, make her feel loved, the more you make her feel that all you care about is weight, the more she feels that it's hopeless, and not even worth trying to change because she thinks that you're going to leave her anyway. Appreciate and notice what she does do. Compliment her on what she does well. This self esteem building helps you. Stop bringing junk into the house. You want her to lose, provide only fruits, veggies, whole wheat, lean meats, etc. I know that it seems like you're baby sitting, but imagine if you were trying to lose weight, and everything you love is right in front of your face, and your spouse doesn't seem supportive. It gets easier for her to not have junk after a time, but right now it's a lot of change. Keep the diet soda out, too. It dehydrates and causes stress on the body. Check out clean recipes on line, and introduce her to clean eating. That is what has helped me. Make sure she drinks lots of water so she feels full and stays hydrated. Exercise is not the problem here. Nutrition and hydration is 99% of it. Have her check our Lacey Marks on Facebook, she inspired me.

Men can't lose face fat fast at all though. Women have breasts and the rolls in their waist and arms that all absorb the weight. The gut is last. No half *** quick Dr. Oz change of make up, cloths and shoes will change it. Men don't like fat breasts. Massive turn off.

Oh Yeah, its the thyroid excuse again. No one is born fat. If your thyroid is slow it does not matter. Will it take you longer to lose weight, yes! However you still gain weight at the same pace as everybody else. 3500 calories is still a pound. Your metabolic rate for a female is still 1600 calories a day just living. so if you eat just that amount and exercise, you create a deficit and thereby lose weight! These are medical facts people.

Not just a "thyroid" issue. As you can see from my post, mine was a myriad of medical conditions, not just one. Treating any one of those problems wouldn't fix my excess weight. I didn't start noticing any change in weight until they all were treated. And you Sir, do not understand the full mechanics of weight gain/loss. Not everyone has the same dietary needs. 1600 calories may be too little or much calories depending on a person's activity level, muscle mass, and metabolism. I can eat 1600 calories worth of Twinkies, and I may lose weight, but I guarantee that I won't have a lean toned body. Why? Because the carbs tell my body to store any excess energy as fat. I encourage everyone to research things before posting.

You are arguing with willfully ignorant men who do NOT have compassion for women.

And even worse, don't have compassion for women who carried and birthed their children.

They look like mindless fools when they boast about how they never gained weight and don't seem to remember that in most cases these women (even without thyroid issues or PCOS) gained the weight after going through childbirth. They can't tie one to the next or follow the dots.

They discredit hormones, PCOS, thyroid, post pregnancy diabetes.

They care more about getting their schlong wet than they do about the health and struggle of the mother of their children.

They are horrible examples for their children. This is not how a man should be. This is not a good example for women.

These men are fools and embarrass me.

Really some people are born fat. There was an Asian baby born a few years ago whose story went all over the Internet. He weighed like 20 pounds or more at birth and was already a Sumo. By age 3 he weighed more than 100 pounds. He has some kind of glandular disorder and was already having trouble with several organs. His body did not know how to metabolize food. And some toddler morbidly obese girl in the U.S. screams loud and constantly for more and more food. If she does not get huge portions all the time she has terrible tantrums and beats her head on the floor. She was pre-verbal at the time I saw this. They had to keep a kind of helmet on her to keep her from brain damage while they tried to figure out why she has screamed for food constantly since birth. It was pitiful. In addition to genetic propensities towards obesity, yes, in extremely rare cases, some people are born fat. Everyone without a disease or physical disorder who is fat has an unhealthy relationship with food. I think unless you love cooking, you shouldn't have a relationship with food at all, except for special holidays and occasions where food is celebratory. It should be just a pleasant part of your day. Fat people are always thinking about food, about what they want for supper, or where they want to go eat, or about what they need to quit eating, or what they need to sneak out of the kitchen to "break" a diet or "cheat on" a diet. Fat people are always either over-eating or under-eating in spurts, in a cycle of feeling good about themselves & "in control" or feeling horrible about themselves about the times they are constantly "losing control."I guess it's a compulsion or addiction. It's certainly like the third person in a relationship.

Great if she actually does something. What about the incalcitrants that tell you to **** off when you try and help by saying "lets work out together honey"

I promise you Mookie if the guy just lays off and let's her be and loves her as is, she will jump on the health train quicker, but you men are so dumb about psychology.

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Knowing from other friends about the post-pregnancy thing, I didn't say a word to my wife. I gave her 2 years after our last was born and she has it in her head that she is going to get in the same shape as when she was in her late 20s! Seriously? She eats crap and drinks soda and sugar-filled drinks and only does this bs fitness class 3 times a week. She lost some weight at the beginning, but plateaued and hasn't lost any since because she refuses to actually work out!!!

You got that right, her heart rate has to be at 130 or more to lose fat. A moderate paced yoga work out, or other BS is not gonna get her there. Also she definitely needs to CUT OUT SODA! Worst human invention ever. All sugar and not nutritional benefit.

Depends on her weight. At 280 pounds, just a walk at a pace of 1.5 miles an hour would be enough to get her heart rate to that level. She'll have to change her workout because her body will adjust. Interval training is short term hell, but it works. She can google it. I really encourage weight lifting of some sort as well though because you get muscle that keeps burning even when you're at rest. And the only way that she could get bulky is if she does it a lot and take steroids. I like Jamie Eason's Livefit on bodybuilding.com. Completely free and gives the diet, workouts, and everything. I did most of it. Found some modified versions of pull ups using google. I was 280 at the time, I think. I didn't lose a whole lot of weight, because I gained muscle mass, but my dress size changed. I lost 16 pounds during that 3 month program.

Bullshit. No proof that exercise causes weight loss. However cutting sugar will.

I promise that tons of exercise are not necessary. People who give up sodas can lose 30 or more pounds a year. Drinking sodas is the same thing as eating out of a bowl of refined sugar.

Actually, there is zero proof that exercise causes weight loss.,

Are you a ******* retard? Exercise burns calories you stupid son of a *****. Ugh, why bother, you truly are the least intelligent person on this forum.

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Oh man thanks for sharing. Brother you have to do you and get a side piece. Try plentyofish.com, or ashley madison. Forget doing the right thing and being faithful, she should be doing the right thing and stay thin. You have to take care of yourself first. Set up a little account for you. Throw $20 or $50 bucks in it whenever you get paid and when she's nagging you to get some treats, just go get a www.backpage.com girl and have some fun. You almost have to be that guy you don't want to be in order to keep your sanity. When the kids are all grown up go someplace else. Life is to short my brother. Soaxebes you are the reason men should never get married. Your attitude is wrong.

Maybe it's because she gained weight having your three kids dickhead. You need to grow up and stop because you don't deserve someone who obviously does everything while you just worry about yourself and how you look.

Oh please, go look at your family photos from past generation or find some old photos at your public library and look at the women in them. Guess what, they are not fat. They were taught from birth that a women is to mantain her figure. That being said men were also a lot thinner too. So they should get a clue to. The main point is, if you man is staying fit for you, you should stay fit for him.

Where did Peter Paul Reuben get his inspiration if women were all so skinny? You obviously have not studied fine art. Most nude women in those paintings have pot bellies. *Gasp*. It's fine to like what you like, but don't spread lies.

Maybe she wouldn't of gotten like that if you weren't such a neglectful dickhead. Or maybe you should learn to love people for who they are, not their physical appearance most women get fat and are tired all day because of overwhelming, either with kids or their husband never really caring or nagging them. The person you need to change is you, not your wife

This is a stupid comment!

Bullshit, Bullshit, Bullshit, that same women that is so overwhelmed will become divorced, then she will manage a full time job, the kids, the house, and still find time to lose weight then so she can find herself a new man.

Just an idea... Maybe it's the guy that is making her feel overwhelmed. She's so stressed about losing him that she eats to alleviate the stress because that is how she copes with stress. Then he leaves, what she fears most has happened, and she's not as stressed anymore, so she doesn't eat so much, and the weight drops. Another reason for a weight loss... She could very well be having difficulties financially supporting her kids and she eats last, if at all. Not every man is rich enough or inclined to support his ex and kids after divorce. Men assume that divorce is great for women. Only when the man is extremely rich.

Lesson here guys: stop stressing her out. You might see change if you aren't mean to her. There are ways to politely express your needs. Google learning communication skills with your spouse or get therapy.

I know, for sure, that if my spouse dies, I will not be interested in finding another man. I will be interested in caring for my children. Sad to say, but I don't trust men who are interested in a woman that has kids. He could be a *********, looking to have access to my kids, and my kids are more important than me. I know, it's not good for me to feel that way, and I feel bad for thinking this way, but better safe than sorry. Also, I just don't think that I could love someone as much as I love my spouse.

How do you suggest the husband approach the issue. Obviously asking her to do somthing about is out of the question ( since you said stressing her out)

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I hate fat people in general. I may have commented on this before. Go **** someone better looking let her find and hey maybe she will change my wife did. If not well you off the hook man hope you have a good gym membership!

To all you guys, I feel your pain. I am with a MAN who is very overweight/ obese. I cannot stand to have sex with him... And he thinks its me and my hormones. Whatever. I look at men around me, and in the movies, and feel turned on by them physically. I love my husband, and he is a good man, but has NO motivation to really lose weight!!! He thinks eating salads for lunch is going to make him lose lbs... And that 2 weeks of really following NutriSystem to a tee he should drop 40 lbs? After this he gives up and wants to go eat Buffalo Wild Wings??!!!!
How do I get him to drop lbs? Support, cook, nag? Holding out on sex? I've tried ALL of them. Nothing is working. I'm very frustrated. I have sex with him only to appease him, and usually in the dark. But I can feel his squishy fat on me and my body goes numb, and I lose my turn on.
So to all you guys, here is a woman who is going thru it too. Maybe y'all can tell this in shape woman what to do with an out of shape man.

I hope that you find the nice looking guy that you want. Please do not stay with this poor guy. You will probably cheat on him because he doesn't turn you on. Check out the Other Woman group. They never expect it to happen. I just hope that your story doesn't end up like some of my friends. They were skinny as skinny could be. Couldn't gain weight for anything... Then, they got married, to nice looking guys. Then they got pregnant, and older. The weight wasn't as easy to control. While they were skinny, they never really learned to eat properly because they didn't have to. That combined with age and medical issues, and they gained a lot of weight. Once they started to try to exercise and eat right, they still had trouble losing weight. A couple of them have husbands that cheat. A couple of them are divorced, because while the husbands were nice looking, they wanted a nice looking wife, and they didn't put up with their wife getting fat. The divorced ones are having trouble finding dates. You want good-looking: be prepared to deal with the consequences of having someone just like you.

If you do the shopping buy nothing but healthy food and then hide the car keys. When he has to walk for that cheeseburger it wont seem so tasty. I am with the same women for 15yrs and she has steadily gained near 80 lbs in those ten years. Me about 35 and i just started to workout 6x a week to lose it. I looked in the mirror one day and said damn I'm fat. That was all it took for me. My advice flat out tell him that he disgusts you. Tell him its his fried foods or you. This will change him because no other women is going to want his fat butt.

Not true. Not all women care about looks. Six pack or huge belly. I will love my spouse forever.

I'm fortunate to say that I'm not in such a situation, but I do witness this.. a lot.

When the men want to go out, the outings are usually wholesome, productive, physically intensive and FREE. With women, on the other hand, the idea of "going out" is anywhere requiring as little exertion as possible, with food/drink/other unnecessary luxury and God forbid it was all affordable, because, like, that's so totally tacky.

What's most amusing is the effect my presence has on these types of couples. I'm single, fit and seemingly always occupied with some fun activity. When other men see this, they come to some revelation and will literally dump their mates.. so they can hang out with me! Meanwhile, the women, being the selfish and terrible beings they are, try to find some way to manipulate me to prevent their loss of control over their men. When that fails, they try to shine me in some unflattering light to deter their men from associating with me. Unfortunately, men aren't sheep; they operate on logic and reason, and usually come to their senses.

Bros, don't get married. Hell, don't even get into relationships. Any positives that you were led to believe about relationships is exaggerated, especially if you live in Feminist-Jew-run America. It's not worth it. The time you spend trying to please such ungrateful pigs, you literally could have invested that same amount of time helping develop 3rd world villages. You'd have met interesting people, experience wacky experiences, be fit as Hell and never be broke! xD

From a broader point of view, though, Americans in their entirety are lazy slobs. American men, you don't make as much effort in life as you delude yourself into believing, what with your Jew taught ways of doublespeak, wordplay and mental gymnastics. You're scum, really, and got exactly what you deserve.

I am in the same situation, and I hate it.

To all you fat women who responded to this thread and talk about how marriage is for better or worse, what jerks we are for not loving your wife and so forth, shut the hell up. Marriage is a two-way street. A wife, just like a husband, is responsible for staying fit and maintaining a healthy weight. This is a responsibility that is part of adulthood. A wife who wishes to abandon this responsibility is not mature enough to remain married. You don't like that, DON'T GET MARRIED, and keep your fat bodies and your immature little "I can't lose weight" minds away from us.

I here you. My wife blew up like a balloon too. I make good money, I'm college educated and I did three combat tours in Iraq. I'm very proud of my accomplishments - I take care of her and my family, I don't cheat and I feel that I'm at least a decent man. Some days though I don't know WHAT I'LL DO - I just wanna save up enough money and run off to northern Maine. Get myself a little shack near a lake and leave EVERYTHING behind. I miss the feel and the smell of an attractive woman. I want OUT - I want that little shack by the lake in N. Maine and DESPERATELY want to leave all this behind me.

Hell, I know what you mean. I'm reaching that position with my wife - slowly but steadily

Holy crap that is exactly where I'm at, EXACTLY the same place.

If you don't have kids, then do it. Why hang around? After the kids arrive, you won't have a choice. Life is too short for an unhappy marriage when you don't even have kids as a reason to stay together.

To the women in here thrashing this guy: you *know* you would feel the same way if you were shapely and fit, and married to a guy who has become a fat, nasty-looking slob, with whom you cannot appear in public without drawing all kinds of judgement and strange looks.

It's easy to judge and be all moral when you're not in the equivalent situation. And if you are, I *dare* you to say this type of thought has *never once* crossed your mind. You are a liar, whether you are deluding yourself or misleading the readers, if you do.

Amen Brother

you read my ******* mind....I'm in the same exact ******* boat and I'm near the end of my god damn rope, just need to tie the noose....we both packed on pounds after we got married...but guess what I did have hypothyroidism...I started working out lost 15 lbs....got my thyroid regulated and dropped another 18 lbs now I'm 10 lbs shy of what I was when we were 20....she thinks she has hypothyroidism too now, she also has been checked 2x so far...insisting that's what she it is even the doctor said no, her levels are normal....we haven't had sex in 2 months...i can't have her on top of me...used to be our favorite position.....but it become so uncomfortable and I couldn't bare the weight anymore...I'm embarrassed to go out with her, I just tell her (insert party/get together/social situation here) that it's a guys night out....I know she's not stupid she knows every time I go out can't be just for the boys. I just look at her with disgust and disdain....her spare tire morphed into a full size replacement for an 18 wheeler....I throw up in my mouth a bit when I see her naked

Excuse me sir. Do I know you? How are you telling my life story so vividly??

maybe she's diabetic and doesn't realize it? that would put her into a lethargic state where she'd be fatigued constantly.

my advice is have her checked out for diabetes... regardless of the outcome, make the cash inaccessable and bring home only lean meats, fruits, veggies, and unsweetened tea for the pantry/fridge.

Preach on.

Your wife must stop eating beef, pork, crisp ,cake, cheese and chips everyday. Encourage her to go ballroom dancing. If she continue in dancing she would quickly lose weight. I am in diet with eating fish, chicken, stir fry vegetables and drink 500 ml of juice everyday. I don't drink fat cow milk. I drink soya milk. I am not grow wider but my chests have been increase the size. I am going to cycling off from Spring time until Summer. I hate to be over weight bcs i look fumy on the mirror.

I was also led here by Idlewatcher (lesson learned....I won't follow you anymore...!!)....Mr. Space...you're quite the little gem, aren't you? wow

lol. Well, the story is two years old and Mr. Space hasn't logged in for more than a year. Maybe his wife sat on him?

And yes, I'm kidding! ;)

we got to be more careful

ha!! Right???


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idle i followed u here thinking this was gonna be a interesting story now im sorry i did

lol some people are so clueless sometimes.

its your fault *shakes fist*

You were the sheep following me to your slaughter - blame yourself! lol

lol you've "offered" to watch the kids? You are a husband, that is your duty homie.

There is a VERY good chance she is doing this to spite you for being a ***** about the whole thing. What is her motivation to look good for someone who doesn't appreciate her?

Well said....appreciation goes a long way

I luv bigger fat women way way more than skinny or fit women!!!

I've seen this story over and over again, only you don't see the whole thing yourself. Chauvinist man marries a weak, stupid woman because she makes him feel like the big man and is then surprised when, three kids later, he is married to a weak, stupid woman.

I am in the same situation my fat wife was abused as a child by her father, all she does is complain. I flat out don't like her at all she is a piece of ****. Who has a bunch of loud mouth girl friends that just start ****. We will call her little A, yet she is big A, aka the fat assfucking hog our marriage started going down after her old wind bag of a ***** mother came visiting from London ******* old wrinkled *****, go die.

Dude, you just said hrs she was abused as a child. Have compassion. Get her counseling. And if you can't have compassion, leave. You're doing more damage than good.

I don't know here. I work out more than my husband but still CANNOT lose weight... Wtf?? All labs are good, I work out with a trainer and run with my girlfriends. I have run one 1/2 marathon and will start training for next soon. So do you know for a fact that she isn't working at it @ all?? What if she truely tries and can't lose the weight?? What do you say to her then??

What's your diet like? 80% of losing weight is your DIET. If you're busting your @$$ but eating high calorie foods, you're just sabotaging yourself. Most people hoard bodyfat whenever they ingest carbs/sugar. I personally can't eat carbs aside from right after I workout and only limited too under 30grams.

I agree. I exercise a lot and eat a normal, healthy diet because I want to be in shape but don't need to lose weight. If I wanted to lose, I know that I'd need to go on calorie restriction. Exercising without restricting calories doesn't take off pounds. In fact, it can add them from additional muscle mass.

Guys have testosterone, hence it's easier for them to build muscles and burn calories. Actually, many women have the mistaken belief that weight lifting will make them bulky, like men, so they're afraid to do so. That is not true. It takes a lot of work for a woman to be bulky. But, muscle helps burn fat. And at first, you may gain weight if you build a little muscle mass because muscle weighs more than fat, but once it's built, the weight will drop. I see women killing themselves on treadmills, but cardio alone won't do it. And your body will adapt, so the routine has to be switched up sometimes. Check out FatGirlPhD.

If you love your wife for who she is not what you want her to become, she will love herself. Then she will be free to be who she wants to be. It will give her the energy and freedom to make her own choices about how to take care of herself. You will be amazed the difference. Haven't you heard of the 10 cow wife?

You're right, it's not right for anyone to stay overweight but let me also tell you, you married her for BETTER OR WORSE! She has to want to lose weight for herself and she obviously doesn't want to. So either accept it or leave. You want sympathy and let me tell you, all you're doing and every other man or woman on here complaining about it is just making you all look like A**ES! If you don't like it then just leave or shut up and accept it. No one is making any of you stay with someone you think if far or unacceptable. I bet you though that she has stood by you for better or worse. LEAVE if you don't like it....it's pretty simple. Cause guess what, someone else will accept her just as she is. That goes for all of you losers who complain about the weight...if they aren't going to do anything and you're not happy then walk away.

Just feed the fat b*** some unhealthy food and in time she will die and and you can finally get so good stuff...if you know what i mean :P