Fat Wives Suck.

Brother let me tell you, it’s every excuse in the book for my wife to stay fat.

I can’t lose weight after having three kids.
My back hurts.
My knee hurts.
My thyroid isn’t working correctly. (Although she has had it checked 3-4 times in the last 10 years and it is functioning normally)
I don’t have any time because of the kids.
I am too tired.
It's to hot/cold outside.

If it’s not excusing to staying fat, it’s lulling herself in to a false reality that she is actually not as fat as she really is.

I am in pretty good shape compared to her (her being a nasty morbidly obese friend of hers.)
I still have good muscle tone.
I eat healthy.
I am in decent shape.
Blah, blah, blah………. Give me a freaking break.

Now I have gone to almost extreme lengths to provide her with the time and facilities to exercise. There is an $800 treadmill in my basement that doubles as a clothes rack and I have told her to join a gym. I have offered to watch the kids every evening and on weekends to giver time to work out. Does she capitalize on any of these opportunities, NO she doesn’t. She just lies on the couch and complains about how tired she is. You have to get up and force youself to make a change.

You have to find the time. I wake up at 5 am to go to the gym 4 days a week, and then I come home, make kids lunches for school, bring her majesty coffee in bed, then go to work. At work I run 3-5 miles three times a week during lunch. I pack my lunch and eat at my desk to give me the time to run. Make time, figure something out, stop with the negative attitude, and do something about you weight. You only have one person to blame and that is you, so stop blaming me, the kids, society, or some thin actress because she doesn’t look like a real woman. (Why the hell to women look at famous models and actress and just blast them with insults? I don't look at famous guys and think, what an ******* for being in such good shape. WTF?)

The moral of the story is you can’t change anyone. Seriously, you can’t change ANYONE, even if you are married to them. If you smoke, only you can quit. If you drink too much, only you can stop. If you are fat, only you can lose the weight. No one can do it for you and no one can change your attitude.

All you men out there with fat wives, stop trying to change them. If they are fat it’s their problem not yours. Your only problem is you are stuck banging a fat woman for the rest of your life, if she lets you bang her at all. There is nothing the social castration of marriage to suck the life out of a man. You wife won’t have sex with you, but you can’t have sex with other women because you are married and it’s socially unacceptable. You can’t expect or demand you wife to have sex with you because she is a woman, and a woman has a right to say no even to her husband. Expecting you wife to have sex with you is socially unacceptable. (Thanks Oprah and Dr. Phil for that little slice of bullshit.) So you are stuck, socially castrated and your sex life is over before you turned 40. If you wife decides to have sex (every 2-3 months) you have to grit you teeth and bang a fat woman.

Marriage, what a joke.
Space1999 Space1999 36-40 104 Responses Sep 7, 2010

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I totally agree and I am a woman who eats moderately and exercises moderately, and through two pregnancies tried to take all fats, sugars, and junk food snacks out of my diet. My doctor told me that women who gain a normal amount of pregnancy weight generally have easier deliveries with less stress to their babies if they aren't carrying a bunch of extra weight. He said, "Just don't put one thing in your mouth that isn't good for you. I worked and exercised rather briskly (aerobics, long fast walks) through both pregnancies. In pregnancy 1, I had severe nausea and lost seven pounds during the first trimester, and so had a net weight gain of 12 pounds and gave birth to a 7.3 pound baby. Since he breast fed for a year, I lost another ten pounds during his first year. The second pregnancy, I was seven years older and I had to really limit my food intake, or the kinds of food I ate, because my body kept a sluggish metabolism, unlike the first pregnancy, so I found myself eating a lot of carrots and drinking a lot of V8s. In pregnancy 2, I gained 17 pounds, and gave birth to a 6.7 lb baby, and this time, breast feeding did not speed up my metabolism, it slowed it down. Both babies were exclusively breast fed for 5 months before taking solid foods and continued to nurse until they stopped on their own. Baby #2 fed voraciously from the breast every 2-3 hours for 7 months, and did not give it up until he was 14 months old. For the first year after my 2nd pregnancy, I carried an extra ten pounds even though I did not over eat. My body just seemed to want to carry 10 more pounds, because I was working full time after 5 months, exercising, and busily raising and supplying food for an infant and caring for a seven year old. When second baby ceased nursing, the last 10 pounds fell off in a matter of weeks, and that was my normal adult weight for the next 30 years--between 130 and 135 pounds at 5'7," i.e. a size eight or 10. I am really disrespectful of women who use pregnancies and more pregnancies as an excuse to let themselves go. One friend said, " well you know you're going to get fat anyway, and you feel so tired and overwhelmed with the other babies or toddlers that you just reward yourself with cherry cheesecake." To me it is a terribly cruel "bait and switch" method of working to be slim to be attractive enough to land a great, and great looking husband, and once you have secured him with the blue line on a urine-stained stick, you're home free and will never have to diet again. So women just allow themselves to get Wal-Mart Photo huge, have a baby probably by C-section due to obesity or pregnancy diabetes, have the baby, be exhausted nursing the baby and caring for the others, being sleep deprived, and being depressed that they are so fat that they eat more "comfort food" to help with the depression. And husbands look back at their honeymoon pictures 8 years ago and now have ZERO physical attraction to those once-nicely-shaped women they are now stuck with. To blame obesity on pregnancy is just a lie.Also, women do NOT need to punish themselves with massive work at the gym post pregnancy. Studies have shown that weight loss in women is and always has been mostly achieved not even with ANY punishment; just reduce the amount of food you eat through portion control, reduce carbs, fats, and sugars, fill up on lean proteins and plenty of fruits and vegetables as close to their natural state as possible, and get some calories burned with some kind of exercise at least 4 times a week.A woman who has just gone through nine months of pregnancy, several or all of which were less than comfortable, Heaven knows how many hours of labor, several weeks of soreness in the nipples and the cervical or vaginal tissues which may have been cut or torn, and which are made more difficult due to bleeding, severe cramping as the uterus regains its former shape--a baby sucking on your nipples, torn tissue in a place that is constantly wet and sat on, big contractions for weeks every time the baby breast feeds and no painkillers for any of it because you can't feed the baby your painkillers: this all REALLY REALLY HURTS, AND INTERCOURSE HURTS!--Well, this woman should not feel the need to punish herself with starvation and heavy exercise. She and her husband should be enjoying their family, because this is a really sweet time even though lots of it is hard, and should share the duties of shopping and cooking meals that are good for the whole family, and she should enjoy the wonderful exercises of daily swims or brisk stroller walks. Just be healthy, concentrate on what is fun (swimming or walking or bike riding with your family is always fun; so is preparing some baked chicken, a salad, a steamed vegetable, and some yogurt for dessert; so is enjoying a glass of wine together a couple of nights a week; so is just snuggling with your baby and toddlers and pets for a sweet, slow and easy part of each day.)
Space 1999, I am in total agreement with you except for the exercise machines, which I would never force on anybody, but that's because I find them punishing whereas I adore regular and all-in bike rides, brisk walks, pool exercise, fishing, horseback riding, roller skating, cooking, gardening both by myself and as a family. I think women who use pregnancy as an excuse to be and stay FAT (you've got to cut her a break and allow her a year to be a little bit plump, because if she's breast feeding, the baby is more in charge of her appetite, energy, hormones, and metabolism than she is) are like cheaters (not marital cheaters, but like used car salesmen, lawyers, politicians, kids taking tests or playing a sport on the field). The person who made her vows to you has so little respect for those vows, or for herself, or for you, or all of these, that she isn't even the same person she was, which definitely assures that you aren't the same person you were (You hate her). It's grounds for divorce if you ask me, unless some major illness is involved. These things should be negotiated before babies get made. A husband shouldn't be just a bystander to his wife's pregnancy. Men should inform themselves and if necessary, be the enforcers if the OB/GYNs will not: "Don't put anything into your mouth that isn't good for you, and for the sake of your delivery and your recovery over the following year, just be really careful with your weight, since for 99% of healthy pregnancies, there is absolutely no reason why the mother should gain more than 25 -35 pounds." It's a mother and child health issue, it's a physical AND mental health issue, it's a MARITAL health issue.


I have the opposite problem. Im a 41-yr old working woman, 5'4", 110 lbs, and my husband is overweight and has gotten diabetes and high cholesterol. He is now virtually impotent. Should I leave him?!

It depends on your whole life, whether you have kids, how old they are, what the economic impact would be to you, would you be homeless, would you have to pay him alimony, are you two the only ones that this would affect, would he be entitled to your pension, health insurance, etc? Is this the only thing wrong or one of many things wrong? Would he be willing to see a therapist with you, a real doctor who could refer you to dietitians, nutritionists? Is he willing to try to lose weight if you two took up some activities with each other, like walking fast, playing a sport, joining a gym, shopping and cooking with you? Has he been medically checked for a health problem which could contribute to weight gain? Do you two love each other, or do you like each other enough to explore whether the love could be re-kindled? Is he depressed? Would he get mean and nasty in a divorce? Do you have family members who could help you with the meanness and despair that come with divorce, and the impoverished, alone life afterwards, possibly without the home you've created?something happened to make this man change his life course. Is he willing to do the work to go back to that inciting incident and begin to heal himself in a constructive active way as opposed to clinging to passive inertia? Could you help him face what caused this change in him, and work with him to help him discover his joy in life. Is he willing to try? If he's willing to try, I would give the marriage a chance even though it will take effort. If he's not willing to try, and you can see yourself building a happy, quality life without him, then I would say he's already left you and if you can stand the hell of a divorce and beginning your life maybe in a different place with your income diminished, then I think, yes, give yourself the chance at happiness, especially if a divorce would not bring pain to children.

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I really bad for you and your situation.
I’m a very driven individual, BUT, I did the EXACT same thing when I was married 6 years ago. I’m 5’7 and on my wedding day weighed 135 lbs. My husband and I certainly had our issues. Over the course of a year I gained 45 lbs (It was horrendous). Prior to that I was VERY active, had a lot of interests, and ate a clean diet. I don’t have kids, since I will always be married to my career. But there were some significant stressors that lead me to pile on weight quickly. Fortunately for me, none of these were medical. However, a year later I hit burn out from work and his selfishness. He had been cheating on me long before we were married, I later found out and a year after we were married, we divorced. I fell into a deep depression and the weight kept piling on until I was 210 lbs. All the while I was gaining and didn’t care enough about myself to do anything about it. I took a look at my life and was mortified! One day I woke up and made a decision for me. Not anyone else, but for me. I didn’t do it to be attractive; and I didn’t do it because I thought it would get me generally further in life. I did it for me and for my health. I took baby steps, I didn’t jump in all at once, but I ensured that exercise was always a bit difficult. Anything that went into my body had to be unprocessed and contained little to no sugar. I drank only black coffee and water. I watched my portion sizes and ensured that I was eating FREQUENTLY. I was never hungry and it was always healthy. Though if I did indulge it was always a “small” or one serving of whatever I was indulging in. Food, good food with micronutrients will fix the “tired” issue but not overnight. It makes you feel good and you want to do more because of how you feel. Weight loss is a pleasant side effect of a healthy diet. You start dressing differently and you want to do things. How does this relate to your situation? I would say you need to have a frank conversation with her. Not in an “I can’t stand you, you’re so fat” kind of conversation. But rather, a conversation about where you two see yourselves in the next few years together. What do you want to do with your life and what are the activities that you want to try. What is your five year plan together? She may have issues with you that you’re completely unaware of. Spending your time playing video games is a great way to waste your life. You need to ask yourself as well what you want in life and out of a relationship. I’m going to assume that working yourself into exhaustion to support in game purchases and ramen noodles isn’t it. It’s your life too! If you can’t find a compromise and both make steps toward positive changes, then it may be time to separate. I can’t imagine living life and constantly be stressed and unhappy.

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I totally get where you are coming from except for the fact that I am completely turned off by having sex with a fat woman. All you fatties out there can get laid as often as you like by dudes with boobs. I am hardly ripped but I am active all day long, lifting and physically working. My wife lives on "Second Life" and spends every waking hour doing it. She is easily 70 pounds heavier than when we married and does nothing around the house. I cook, clean, do laundry and work my *** off 84 hours every two weeks at my primary job and work at least 40 hours a week at a second job. She ****** and moans about retirement at 55 because she is "tired". She ******* that I am not sexually attracted to her but won't lift a finger to try and change that. We don`t have kids because she had "medical limits" and I stopped wanting to have kids with her after she refused to take her health seriously. Type II diabetic, eats ramen noodles any chance she gets, goes into great detail about her bowel issues when ever she wants. I loved her once. I thought she was smart and driven but now she looks like a lame turd. I want to love her again if she would change but there appears to be no chance of that because anytime I bring up her behavior she accuses me of bullying her.

My name is Diane

Rude how about fat husbands

My husbaned cheated on me several times when I go to work . He likes thinner attractive women. He feels that everything is my fault . And he would rather be a younger , thinner woman iwho is more attractive ..

my husband is leaving me for some ugly fat american bleached blonde woman, the fact is why he is leaving for some ugly fat woman but I let him leave me and I get new handsome american men

I did not know what Lionel Richie was singing about in the 80's...Once , twice, three times the lady.....I am married to a 3x, not sex wise, dress size. Oh yeah, spotted a 4x the other day, oh joy...packing over 325 pounds now. Tried everything.
A friend says you cannot reason with a drunk, why do you think you can persuade or reason with a grazer? Moo.
Maybe we will hit 400 # this year. Go team.

Do you sad sack mean really think Tina is what she claims to be? No, She is a money grubber playing on your insecurities.

As a wife of an insecure man he had an affair over his size, i can tell yo uthe pain of an affair is excruciating. No matter what you choose to do, go or stay, do not cheat. It was devastating for me.

Who is Tina?

Who is Tina?


Misery loves company and I came here to get some company. I hate that my wife became so fat over the 8 years that we have been together. When we met, she was in shape and was so full of life. We worked out together and of course, had many other things that we loved doing together. After the first year, I could feel her letting go. I thought it was our relationship ending so we talked and she assured me that she wanted to be with me. As time passed, she put on more and more weight. I'm a big eater ant over 250 pounds...but I have 12% body fat. Think of the Rock only i'm about 3 inches shorter and not as handsome. Anyway, long story short, she's now about 70 pounds heavier and our sex life doesn't exist...her sex drive is gone and seemingly so is her desire to do anything to change her unhealthy ways. I'm miserable and it's depressing to think that things will never change. Yes...we have talked many times during every year that we have been together and nothing changes.

Haha me too
My wife of 25 years has blossomed t a size 20. I was a waist 30, now a 32-34 at the most
No enthusiasm & sex possible in one position great xxxxxxx love it
Not right, but. Girl at gym, 9 years older thAn my wife, 4 years older than I, is mega
Loving & being together so nice, beats being with a lump, sorry
So do I go or stay ?????

While noble ; deferring to
Your wife -what you are describing is slavery- not marriage.
If what you are saying is true; and she has checked out - she has done her duty and now enslaves you- too bad she is so wrong.
Respectfully- Oprah and Dr Phil while talented people - are wrong in this area
Listening to low level authority always has its disadvantages.
The Bible is very clear- she has duties to you too.
Not only physical but also emotional happiness.
Start your own search - and hopefully she will join you.
You will Both be so much happier
God Bless You Guys
Never Quit - that goes for her too.

Divorce her or stop whining you big *****.

I've read a lot of comments. I am young. 23 male. My girl is the same age. Few months older. We have a 3 year old son. When we met, in 2009, of course we both were smaller. I was about 160 - 165. A skinny one though, because she still talks about how I was so skinny. She, about 140. I weightlifted a lot in high school, so that athletic frame stayed with me. Year later we had a baby. She peaked at 202 pounds. I still remember her last weigh in before the baby. Fast forward to 2014. She is about 170 - 175. I am about 185. But man oh man, do we both wear our new weight differently. Like i said I weightlifted a lot in HS. So this extra 20 pounds I have, since our son, looks very regular on me. Most people that havent seen me in a while ask have I been working out. No, but like I said, weightlifting and HS football did me well. Her on the other hand...Her entire body, minus her stomach now, has gained the few extra pounds. Totally understandable, I can deal with that. NOW WHAT I CANT DEAL WITH IS THIS HUGH SLAB OF ROAST BEEF BELOW HER **** THAT HAS TO BE "TUCKED" INTO HER TIGHTS AND PANTS WHEN SHE PUTS ON CLOTHES!! TRYING TO LOOK NICE FOR A SPECIAL OCCASION?? BRING OUT THE HEAVY DUTY GIRDLE!!! SHE PUTS THAT **** ON AND I SWEAR SHE'S GONNA PASS OUT!!! BETWEEN THE ACTUAL TIGHTNESS OF THE GIRDLE, AND HOW MUCH BELLY FAT IT ACTUALLLY HAS TO PUSH IN AND HIDE, I COULD CRY!!! Now I love my girl SOOO MUCH that I actually want to marry her. She is wonderful. Great personality, smart, funny, we get along great. And she has a very pretty face. BUT C'MON! WE HAD THAT CHILD ALMOST 4 YEARS AGO!! THAT BELLY SHOULD'VE BEEN GONE 3 YEARS AGO!! I find myself being more attracted to other women! We have talked, had arguments, and almost broken up over this, cuz I've tried to express my feelings in every way possible. First nice, to be respectful of her feelings. And then mean, cuz she doesnt listen when I am nice about it!!! My heart somewhere my **** is totally not. And Im young. If I marry her, I feel i will have to deal with this roast beef for the rest of my life. I ****** up alot in my younger years, but for the past couple, I've been working 2 jobs and going to school. But I fear getting myself into this mess, may be my worst **** up yet!

At night when she's sleeping she pulls the cover over it so I wont see. Put I pull it back. When she is laying on her side, her stomach extends a full 7-8 inches in front. I measured it! I challenge any woman to lay on her side, get a tape measure, and extend it 7 inches in front of your stomach! That a lot of fat!!! So I do that math, if she weighed 140 when we met and she's 170 now, thats 30 pounds. Divide that in half u got 15. Now one 15 is distributed through out her whole body. That other 15, PURE GUT!!! 15 LARD POUNDS OF PURE GUT!!! And she only 5'3"

Now Im gonna go shower and go to class, to see pretty women, whom I know some have kids, more than one I might add, and they dont have a gut like that! Also watched maury while i typed this. The woman was complaining that her man started cheating after she gained weight....but she had lost weight, and thought he started cheating again. Man took that lie detector, passed with FLYING COLORS!!! Proof no man wants a woman with a pot roast for a stomach!

Same here. Dont know where to turn.

Boom! Nailed it. Biggest mistake of my life. I married the wrong person. She's up five pounds a year for 11 years running with no ability or will to change. Marriage, what a bleepin joke.

I completely understand you help2005 and of course the post by space1999.
I am married to someone who used to win beauty pageants as recently as 6 years ago (when she was 29) but now she's just an ugly overweight frump that I cannot stand...
And like space1999's missus: she blames everyone and everything for her unattractive 'condition' including on old time favorite and total MYTH: the birth control pill (which she last took in 2011 anyway).
I have a tendency myself to easily gain weight, but unlike these fat wives of ours, I keep an eye on it. I don't care what my wife or what others perceive me as, I MYSELF like to see an attractive, toned man staring back at me whenever I look at him in the mirror.
It just totally baffles me why she and other obese wives cannot adopt the same philosophy - I always thought women were generally a lot more vain than us men could ever be... Not so!

lazy, thats the problem. After women get married they think, ok i got him trapped now i can sit down and eat bon bons. ha ha My moms friend got divorced and she was a cow then suddenly she lost about 70 lbs and started looking for another man. I am sure that after she hooks another one she will turn back into a cow and stuff her face again.

Probably, yeah. But what you've just described about your mom's friend proves one thing which I've always insisted: It IS their fault and therefore they CAN do something about it if they want to.
Thanks tina...

I would not want a guy with a six pack to get a big beer belly after he married me, **** that would suck. So I know guys wake up with a cute slim girl that is hot so he wants her badly all the time and can't stop thinking about her. So i think staying in shape is the way a woman should take care of her man ...!!!! period

tina, yes and that's what makes it even more disappointing for me. I still weigh the same as I did the day we first met (+/- maybe 2 lbs). I have a little more grey hair, but apart from that I have TRIED to maintain my looks as best I can.
She by contrast, just let herself rapidly deteriorate from someone who only six years ago, won a beauty pageant to a fat, sexless frump that I cannot even look at anymore, never mind have sex!

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I agree with the posts that say that your wife should try her best to stay healthy. Kids should not be an excuse. I know many women who had lost the baby fat in less than a year. I think that if you love your man, you should try your greatest to stay healthy and show him affection and positivity every day. Women need to understand that men connect best with their partners during sex, just like how women believe that they themselves need their emotional needs (because it is important) satisfied by a man. The largest problem with being at an unhealthy weight (according to men) is that the woman loses her confidence in her appearance and her sex drive. I'm not saying that you should divorce your wife immediately after she gains 40 lbs. What you should do is try to motivate your wife, if you do love her, and bring her into therapy and health classes. And men, don't whine about your fat unattractive wives if you are also considered fat or overweight with a beer belly equivalent to the size of a pregnant woman's 7 month old baby bump.

It seems that women always think that a man should understand and deal with it, bullshit. I am female and i stay fit. I intend to stay fit and i understand why a man does not want to F*** a fat woman, its gross. Globbys, rolls, dimples, uggg..... Lost weight women and if you cut off your man from sex i hope i find him.

Physically fit, trashy, and a hint of ****? That is definitely every mans dream!

Thank you tinatina55... It's a shame that only a tiny fraction of women share your PROPER / NORMAL attitude and worldview.
Whether those indoctrinated, deluded feminists (who promote 'fat acceptance') like it or not: Men are attracted to what they see and what they see is on the OUTSIDE (of the body)... BBW [Big Beautiful Woman]. What bullshit! That phrase is in fact the perfect paradox!
PS: I hope you find me!

whats the difference between an elephant and a dyke with a flannel shirt????

about 50 lbs.....

tina, is it really THAT much? LOL!

That's why us dykes prefer to have the company of a woman, because we don't criticized by you narcissistic men

Well you don't have a lot of choices anyway.

This is the "I hate my fat wife" blog. You need to remove your cruel post and attach it to an " I hate lesbians" thread.

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I should have seen the red flags but ignored them because I was never in a relationship that I thought was this good at the start. I'm not into blondes and she was a blonde. I tried to push that out of my mind. We had several break ups over dumb things. Not like anyone cheating on another, just she'd nick pick about things to me. I don't drink, smoke, do drugs and she didn't either. She was younger then me by a few years. We weren't suppose to get married but she rushed it when we should have been broken up completely. 6 months before the wedding, she said she wanted to lose 50 lbs to get into a nicer dress. it was then that I noticed her breasts and waist. She has an H cup bra size which to me is simply gross. her face, arms, stomach, entire body is a blob. If you saw what she looked like a decade ago, she got free food, coffee, gas at the gas station and looked like a legit model. now if she was dating someone else and I didn't know her, I'd feel sorry and embarassed for that guy. I agree with that guy about the sex comment. I'd rarely to never touch her at all. Especially sex. I'd rather meet other girls for a one night stand or see a ton of **** then give this fat *** a kid. When I looked at photos and videos of what I was like before I knew her and during 6 month long break ups, my life with my family was great. I had everything going well and no debt. This pig I married spent over 900 dollars on kick boxing classes and never went. She had 2 gym memberships and never went. She bought weights and other things but never used them. She just lays on her broken down couch with her ugly *** pets that vomit on the couch and give off sand fleas, and she just moans and says, "I'm sooooo tired...." She buys hundreds of dollars on veggies only to see them rot every week. She buys expensive blenders and never ever uses them. She has tossed the same clothes around filled with dirt, dust, her hair and pet hair and lets it sit there for MONTHS and never cleans. I offer to do it but she flips out that I touch her clothes. Seeing her bra hang up in the bathroom makes me want to actually kill myself for real. I see women daily where I go and I'm a A-C cup fan and I don't care if she's 100 lbs-150 but my fugly wife is over 200 lbs and it's so gross especially with those huge ugly breasts and tiny nips that couldn't breast feed a field mouse. You could think a pimple is a nip during forplay easily. I find it funny when her ex's contact her while shes married to me because i personally could care less. My wife is like the women on plenty of fish. THey look thin in pics of their face but if you see them in person, you'd run, change your voice and pretend you're not from this country. I'll never give this cow any kids and I've been told by my entire family to divorce her already. I'm working on that in 2014. Working on my plan what she did to me first... The women out there that I see I like a lot more because I learned the hard way that if you date a woman and she's thin and young but her family is fat, especially the women in her family, then she'll turn into an elephant too. It's in the genes. Geez I look at old women in their 50's-70's and think, man at least they're still average to thin. But this one... man, no one in the world would marry her. I sent a pic of her before and after and made it a pic and showed it to a friend of mine and he was like, "dammmmn... what the hell happened to her?" lol This pig wants a brat but not a house and she has NO money. Yeah... and you wonder how could some people do such terrible things to others in the news daily? This is the prelude that leads to such terrible decisions. Bottom line- date a small breasted woman and make sure her mom and sisters r thin too. Otherwise stay single. Who cares of her color of her skin, race, creed, religion. Worry about that later, as long as you can bang a woman you love that's thin and actually attractive.

Actually you are dead on the money. I walk through the malls and some women treat me mean because of how i look, their husbands stare at me, i just smile at them. Most of the older women that are married are tubs of lard and they put on makeup and buy the best clothes to look good but are fat. Comon ?!! A women does not have to look like a teenager all her life but as someone said on her, to gain 11 lbs a year is stupid. If you EXERCISE and control your eating some you can look good all your life. Also looking at her family is smart, if her mom is a tub of lard or crazy acting, watch out. Good advice. I worked out hard in high school in gymnastics and you can bounce a quarter off my ***. My goal is one lb per year in weight gain and hopefully its muscle. Besides if some guy tries to hurt me i can put it all behind my foot into his softies. ha ha

There is nothing wrong with a nice pair of big natural boobs. I am a natural 32G. I'm 5'4, 115 lbs, I'm petite, yet I'm curvy and have a bubble butt. My fiance worships me and I can't go anywhere without men and women hounding me. I blame this on my ethnicity. I'm half Mexican and half Irish, which is a very exotic look. Anyways, yes small breasts are nice, but I love my boobs! I've had two kids and my boobs are still full, bouncy and firm. My nipples are perfect. My body is still tight and amazing, no stretchmarks... not even a hint of childbirth ever taking place. I'm rambling. Anyways, I took the liberty of wasting two minutes of my life explaining how awesome I am because there is nothing wrong with having big boobs. You shouldn't advise men to only date women with small boobs. It's small women like myself with large breasts that are actually wild in bed. I wouldn't trade them for a smaller pair if my life depended on it!

That really is soul-crushing, and I thought I had it bad. I broke up with my GF of 10 years a year ago and since then it was pretty sh*t (well, it was already crappy 2 years before that). I instinctively know what you've described about the family of your potential GF. I dated a girl for a short while and what put me off (not exclusively but it had its fair share) was the looks of her mother and sister (so different to her!). I like girls like you: thin smaller-breasted. Perhaps this is because I myself am 190cm/90kg (my ideal weight is 85kg, but I am also quite muscular) and if I "bred" with someone large, we would have huge offspring :-) But it's getting exceedingly difficult to date a thin girl as they are disappearing fast (even here in Middle Europe). Last Summer I had a flight through Heathrow and THAT was really painfull to look at the women there.

Good luck, but I suppose you have every right to fulfill your sexual needs (whatever that requires). This even looks like you should get a divorce.

Your writing has a wonderfully descriptive flair and I'm glad to see a blog that is written on such a taboo subject has gotten so many reasonable responses instead of just a string of obscenities people are yelling at each other. Your situation sounds unbearable and I know you can't reverse a horrible mistake you made 6 years ago, but 6 months before you married her, you saw that it would be a big mistake, so I am so troubled about why you married her! At any rate, it sounds like these problems are all her own and not caused by you or your relationship, so I don't see how a counselor would help, but I believe in vows, so I would give counseling a committed try, and I would certainly keep her on a tight budget so she could not get you in further debt. To me the filth is a symptom of the obesity which is a symptom of her depression which you are not causing. Just set a timeline in your mind and a route and a date and by which you are going to give yourself a shot at happiness, and share it with her, and if she won't agree to contribute or work towards her own happiness too, alongside you, then recognize that she has chosen to be miserable and would be miserable with or without you. This sadness and this filth, my a heavens this is not a third world country where poverty contributes to filth, and to starvation as well as obesity, and no one should have to live like this, and you don't either. If she won't work with you to change it, end it. Don't " do terrible things," above all! You don't want to end up life in prison because you acted on your revulsion to your fat filthy wife!

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Okay, let's say this guy starts to become obnoxious while in public on a regular basis to the point he embarrasses his wife every time they go into public. What should she do? Should she not say anything because she loves him and if he wants to change it is up to him? Lets say he owns up to his behavior and says he will try to change his behavior, but after a few months he goes back to his old self. Should the wife then say--well this is just who he is. I need to love him for he is is and not try to change him?

Good argument dannyjohn123

So...has SHE ever complained about her own weight? You haven't given any evidence for this. It sounds like only YOU are the one with a problem about it. Have you considered that she might be perfectly happy at the weight she is at? If she isn't doing anything about it, it must mean she feels content. You've led a horse to water, but the horse isn't thirsty, so it's not going to drink. I should think the answer to all of your questions would be totally obvious if you stopped to think about it from her point of view, and not your own selfish view of what she "should" be doing.

You are clearly a fat chick and don`t understand what it is like to be sold a bill of goods by both a woman who wants everything but it not prepared to offer everything. I will say this. There is enough data out there that tells you that smoking is bad for you, and mismatched HDL to LDL and that PCOS is essentially Type II diabetes for 90% of women with a BMI over 30. My advice to you tubby is to focus on the war on women that is holding you down. As a guy who married a beautiful woman who was smart, funny, educated and driven only to see her abandon OUR LIFE and PLANS to become a fat, self centered, lazy miscreant who is now the bane of my existence. She has the absolute gall to tell me to "quit picking on me" when all I ever say is "honey I am worried about your habits". I deserve a partner who cares for herself as much as she cares for me. What you, you fat piece of **** don't understand is that guys are as much attracted to women who execute on a plan and hold themselves accountable.

Happy people act happy or at least normal. They don't live on sofas infested with fleas and dog hair.

It is sad you do not like your wife because she has become fat and do not want to change herself. It seems you both have very diferent life style. I could live comfortably in relationship with a fat or obese woman like your wife is. But for me even very fat women are attractive.

Yes I know there are men such as yourself who indeed PREFER obese bodied women... Unfortunately I am NOT one of them, nor are most men.
You're lucky.

Well have at pard. The buffet is open in this country. You can't swing a dead cat without hitting a dimpled cheese ***.


You don't love her, you love some idealized version of her physicality that she may have resembled long ago before she sacrificed everything to have your kids. You talk about her as though she's just a body, not a mind. Good for you that you keep in shape if that's what you want; guys are supposed be more muscular, but you sound like a fanatic. Do you want your wife to be the same as you. Do you need to compensate for something? Women are supposed to be softer and more nurturing.

My guess is that you'd rather have arm candy to show off to your peers rather than a soulmate that gives you sublime satisfaction that no one needs to brag about.

I disagree with you DoctorFill. You have to find your mate attractive. If seeing them naked repulses you then there will be no intimacy in the relationship. And that is a huge part of loving someone.

Of course it's a big part, but if you commit to loving someone in a marriage you understand that physical appearance is fleeting. If you love her now and not 30 years hence when aging takes its toll, that's not really a mature relationship.

Well DoctorFill, perhaps we should blame God or Nature (if agnostic). I cannot help my sexuality and that dictates that I'm naturally attracted to slim / petite women (as my wife was when we married), but NOT at all attracted to fat, rolly-poly frumps, that look like the Michelin Man's daughters. I cannot help that - it's the way I was made. I honestly wished I could be attracted to overweight frumps, but I am not and I don't think I ever will be.
Fat women CAN lose weight (i.e. change) men however, cannot change their sexuality (thus what they are attracted to) - ask any gay man.

Ha Ha Ha Ha (rolly poly frumps) !!! Women naturally carry more fat than men and some women have slower metabolisms than others. But to lose weight and look great to attract a man then let yourself go after marriage is bullshit and a sorry thing to do to someone. I don't blame a guy for looking at me in the mall. Why should his wife get mad at me when it is her that is letting herself go?!! I had a guy follow me in a mall one time when his wife was out shopping. It was real obvious that he was keeping me in his vision and walking behind me. He sat down on a bench outside a store and i just walked out and sat beside him. I said hi. He said hi. I said i noticed that you were following me and watching me walk a lot, do you do that because you like the way i look? He said you are hypnotic to watch and i could follow you to Arizona. I laughed and said oh thanks and i am happy to be entertaining for you !! We talked and he laughed and had the best time. I told him how happy i was to be a source of his enjoyment and its a real complement to me to actually be followed. He sat and praised my legs and butt and entire body and said i was so much fun to watch and apologized for bothering me, he said that he hoped i would not notice. I told him that i am wearing cutoffs and a little bit of a torn t-shirt with no bra because i am comfortable. He said your muscular legs and that great tan is fantastic and i blushed. He also said your boobs are bouncing and moving so good and the side *** thing out the side of your shirt it too much to bear !! I blushed again and asked oh you like that. He said every man does and you know it. I said oh i do, ha ha. He said and every man appreciates it and watches you just like i do. He said i have seen you here in this mall so many times and love the way you move and look. I told him that i want him to stop me every time he see's me and we can have lunch or something but i don't want your wife to sit on me. He busted out laughing and said you feel my pain?! I laughed my *** off. I said well I have to get going it was nice talking to you. He said do you mind if i follow you and stare some more. I said no i don't and is there anything special i can do for you? He said oh don't ask or i might insult you. I told him that i cannot really be insulted by a man that adores my body. He stared like he wanted me badly. I pulled the front of my Tshirt and it exposed most of my *** on the side of my tshirt opening and he sat and stared at it then reached out and ran his finger over it. He said it is so soft and beautiful and that line is wonderful. I told him bye bye. He got up and walked behind me and i was getting horny knowing that he was just staring at my butt while i walked. He was obviously an example of what Julian3333 is talking about and i did feel his pain. When he found his wife she was facing him and i turned and blew him a kiss and he tried to hide the smile. I think i made his day, ha ha I know he made mine.

Thanks tina, you might also enjoy my reply to the appropriately named "That1isstupid" below...

I hope we can get together sometime for a cup of coffee.. You are such a nice, understanding young and best of all: FEMININE woman (a TRUE girl). You are a welcome change from the usual feminist brainwashed fatties and general man-haters that make up most of toady's younger people. (And that includes young MEN). Feminists have all but destroyed women, not to mention Western society. They can try all the ridiculous propaganda they like, but they will never convince a real man to accept fatness in women. BBW - what a JOKE!
They also promote the idea (and have lobbied for and won laws) that define men who are attracted to 18 year old 'children' as pedophiles.
They are actually trying to convince men to be attracted to 'cougars' or 'MILFs' instead of what they are naturally attracted to (young nubile and fertile, attractive women / girls), because of their bitter, sexual jealousy of their younger competition. That's why you often see the fat (JEALOUS) old hags protesting outside beauty pageants and the like...

Have a good day - I know you can only have a better day than me!

It's just 6 years. By 30 years she'll be a beached whale. And he gets to live through every one of those glorious years....

Hear hear...

I also disagree with you DoctorFill. I can speak from experience here. I gained a lot of weight after I met my husband 6 years ago. I could blame it on him, having his baby and not having time but I won't because it was all my fault. I stepped up and lost the weight. It's not just about her being a 'body'. Being overweight often indicates no self-discipline and that their is turmoil in her mind. This affects every aspect of her life. It's about her LOVING herself enough to take care of herself. With what we know about effects of obesity these days it is almost like shouting hey I don't care if I die! It's natural for both males and females to be attracted to healthy mates. I mean wouldn't you rather pass your genes on with someone with as few disease markers as possible? It frickin built in our genetics! I'm tired of seeing overweight women, it's so sad that they end up spreading theirselves so thin that they can't even take care of theirselves. There is no healthy way to be big and beautiful. And I guarantee you this I will not end up like that again. I care about my family to much for them to lose me early and for me to hinder my family 20 years from now with all my medical problems. Being at healthy weight also implies to people that you are independent and can take care of yourself. Fat roll baggage is just really baggage! Now I know why america is so obese because women are so insecure they try to make it okay to be fat regardless of overwhelming proof that it damages their families, their communities, the government, the healthcare system. Come on now!

Good to hear from another fat hater. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, even when that beholder is oneself in the mirror. Enjoying life is not all about "discipline" to maintain a gymnast's weight, and I must strongly disagree with you--there is not a single study to show that all fat people are condemned to a life of disease, just as none show that all who smoke will get cancer. Stories abound of athletes and other apparently healthy people who adhered to your philosophy yet died prematurely anyway. Exercise is important, but a moderate to extreme amount of body fat can be more healthful than a compulsively self-starved anorexic lifestyle.

Health issues aside, I contend that "LOVING herself" is not always manifested in strict diet and rigorous exercise. Some of us, even those who are not fat, love the look and feel of it on a partner. Nothing hurts the body more than constant yo-yo dieting or forcing a body to conform to some arbitrary standard of thinness imposed by a fickle society and fashion industry at odds with ones own genetics. The fat woman who finds a lover who adores her fat is much better off emotionally and physically than the woman constantly worried that she's not thin enough--and the disgust with her own image will keep men away more than any other physical imperfection.

Enjoy your world of compulsive exercise, Draconian diets, and constant self-loathing; just please don't apply it to everyone else on the planet. Leave it to you to suggest personal lifestyle choices be subject to a now-dysfunctional healthcare system and government. Is there no limit to the amount of personal freedom you people would curtail?

These people need to watch a couple of documentaries. One: The Men Who Made Us Thin, and Two: The Men Who Made Us Fat.

Yes YOU really do live up to your screen-name That1isstupid. That 1 being you!
No 'Men' made any woman into a FAT ugly frump, nor did any man or 'Men' make them into skinny (Thin) bulimics or anorexics. They THEMSELVES CHOSE to be fat or thin as the case may be..
I've NEVER told my wife to eat (no need to - she does that ENTIRELY on her own volition very well, but far too often... And that's why she's now the fat slob she is. No coercion from me or any other 'Men' needed. She CHOSE to eat more than she needs to, she therefore made herself FAT.
So, what MEN are responsible for that??
And by the way, those FEMINIST inspired and directed documentaries you recommend everyone should watch, would be the biggest load of gender hatred screened on TV. If the genders were reversed, some 'Men' would surely be facing imprisonment.

But of course women can do whatever they like, say the most HATEFUL things (about men) even murder them with impunity...
And on top of that you expect us to love, fat, ugly old frumps too.

Yes you are indeed the stupid1

Actually, if you'd bothered to watch the documentaries, they were made in the UK by men, yeah, that's right, men. I did not say one hateful thing to this particular man, or you, for that matter. You don't see me calling you "stupid" for disagreeing with me, which you are free to do so. You are not intelligent in the sense that you seem to believe such an obviously fake story from that "woman" up there. It sounds like a male posing as a woman because they think that it's funny. Like a Penthouse man's fantasy.

If you are real, I apologize. You have to admit, it sounds completely made up. I would like to know how you will feel when you are no longer attractive to men. You seem to value your beauty and the opinions of others so much. I hope, if you are real that you find someone else to base your value on.

I'm not saying that men being attracted to thin is evil. What's evil is tricking a woman into thinking that you'll love her forever, and then treating her like **** at the first sign of imperfection. When I married, my spouse and I said vows, "I promise to love, cherish, and honor you, for richer and poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part." Most people don't take that seriously nowadays. Fortunately, I was intelligent enough to choose a man who doesn't value appearance above all else.

If you don't love you wife, leave her. You are not fooling her, contrary to what you may believe, and even if you have to spend money to get out, it's better than staying there and making you both unhappy. And for the love of whatever you may believe in, do not remarry, don't impregnate some poor girl so that's she stuck with you, don't give girls any idea that you're capable of loving them, because truth is, you're not. When you value appearance above all else, you stop loving them as soon as age steps in, or they gain weight from bearing Your offspring. You don't like the truth. Sorry, I don't hold back.

As long as you're completely honest, you are not bad, at least not from my point of view. I understand being young and stupid, and marrying the wrong person. You can correct that mistake now.

First of all, not saying that this particular guy is a jerk. He seems to care about his wife. If your husband leaves you regardless of your attempts to stay healthy, then what will you blame it on? It isn't about fat. Point in fact, everyone grows old. Metabolism slows with age. If appearance matters that much, that a person can't look past it, maybe they should look at themselves. Guys who are jerks will find any excuse to leave, because they aren't nice guys. Appearance just happens to be their first choice because guys are supposed to be visual. The visual thing is not entirely true. Studies have been done that show that when guys are sniffing the vaginal secretions of ovulating females that they don't care what she looks like, they mark her picture as attractive. There are ways to be "big and healthy" because what is considered "big" nowadays isn't big. The whole food and diet industry sprung up from greedy people saying that there was a problem when there wasn't. The problem didn't occur until later when greedy people figured out that they could make highly caloric food for cheap, people would eat it because that is what we are genetically programmed to do-eat highly caloric food, and then the diet industry could say, "Hey, you're fat, eat, drink, and do this to lose that excess weight." So, we do what the diet industry says, The weight falls off temporarily, they make money, then our bodies go, "OMG! I'm starving!" And the weight and then some is added back on. Because we do what we are genetically programmed to do. Eat while we can because there might be a drought or famine later. People have this stupid notion now that fat is ugly. You tell me, who is likely to survive in a famine? Slightly overweight with fat stores, or stick thin model that they're touting as beautiful? I'm not saying that morbidly obese people are necessarily healthy, but they aren't inherently unhealthy just because they're morbidly obese. I've seen skinny people with a lot of visceral fat-fat covering the organs, but not noticeable on the outside-they eat what they want, and you want to tell me that they're automatically healthier? Seen plenty of morbidly obese people according to BMI that have more muscle mass than any skinny person. Is that completely unhealthy? They eat a balanced diet, and exercise more than their skinny peers. I'm not buying these blanket statements that come from ignorance. Not saying that you're stupid-just uninformed.

Excellent reply bellamae! Wished my wife had such wisdom.

well i think he is saying that she should not get FAT you know excessively overweight. I think everyone expects the other mate to gain some. But many women do just let themselves go and turn into the goodyear blimp and there is no excuse for that at all. To me it just shows a total lack of concern for your mate when you do that.

Hey Fill. I am a health care provider. Women are not designed to weigh 200 pounds at 5'3". Their joints fail, their kidneys go down, their small coronary branches occlude and they become debilitated. If you knew that this was as likely to happen because of your life style as getting breast cancer is when you genetically test positive for BRACA 1 or 2 would you just **** off and do nothing? What we want is a partner who cares for herself as much as she cares for us. We care for them richard, we love them but that does not make them entitled to disregard our needs. We need them to put down the donut, to put down the 3 gallon diet soda, to quick ******* lying about going through the drive through and making excuses. I believe that viagra would be limited to, those suffering from pulmonary hypertension, patients with right heart failure diabetics, Bob Doles if more fat wives got their **** in line.

Is she behaving or did she ever behave like a soulmate?

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I would rename your post, everyone is 100% responsible for their own happiness. I believe that when weight because a big enough problem as you're describing, there is an underlying depression/dissatisfaction. Until she accepts that and addresses that, her weight loss efforts will not produce long-term results. With that said, I hope you continue to move forward in positive ways in your life. Best wishes.

This is my life....

ditto. Train ticket to fat express in hell.

ditto. Train ticket to fat express in hell.

I just broke off an engagement because my fiancé wouldn't watch his weight. If he can't in his 20's what will it be like when we're 50? I give you a lot of credit for taking care of yourself the way you do. Thank you for sharing - givin me an idea of what marriage to him might have looked like down the road. Keep up your hard work, your kids will learn a healthy lifestyle from you and that's one of the bet gifts you can give them!

I don't blame you.

Men are lucky. Weight drops off of them because they have more testosterone than women. You need to be patient. It took her how many years to gain the weight? It takes at the very least, 2 years to safely and permanently lose weight. Why? Because if she loses too fast, she'll gain the weight right back and even more so than what she had to begin with. For thyroid conditions, doctors have different standards on what is considered normal. Mine was not discovered until they tested my TSH(thyroid stimulating hormone). I also have sleep hypopnea, vitamin B12 deficiency, anemia, PCOS, and osteo-arthritis. These conditions make my energy level low, and can cause a great deal of pain. Pain so bad that some exercise really does hurt-a lot. And, the sleep hypopnea, left untreated makes it damn near impossible to lose because it messes with my hormone levels and my body stores fat because of the stress that it places on my body. She may very well be correct. She might have conditions that affect her weight loss. My husband didn't believe me until I was tested and the myriad of problems was found. You can help by being understanding instead of nagging, make her feel loved, the more you make her feel that all you care about is weight, the more she feels that it's hopeless, and not even worth trying to change because she thinks that you're going to leave her anyway. Appreciate and notice what she does do. Compliment her on what she does well. This self esteem building helps you. Stop bringing junk into the house. You want her to lose, provide only fruits, veggies, whole wheat, lean meats, etc. I know that it seems like you're baby sitting, but imagine if you were trying to lose weight, and everything you love is right in front of your face, and your spouse doesn't seem supportive. It gets easier for her to not have junk after a time, but right now it's a lot of change. Keep the diet soda out, too. It dehydrates and causes stress on the body. Check out clean recipes on line, and introduce her to clean eating. That is what has helped me. Make sure she drinks lots of water so she feels full and stays hydrated. Exercise is not the problem here. Nutrition and hydration is 99% of it. Have her check our Lacey Marks on Facebook, she inspired me.

Men can't lose face fat fast at all though. Women have breasts and the rolls in their waist and arms that all absorb the weight. The gut is last. No half *** quick Dr. Oz change of make up, cloths and shoes will change it. Men don't like fat breasts. Massive turn off.

Oh Yeah, its the thyroid excuse again. No one is born fat. If your thyroid is slow it does not matter. Will it take you longer to lose weight, yes! However you still gain weight at the same pace as everybody else. 3500 calories is still a pound. Your metabolic rate for a female is still 1600 calories a day just living. so if you eat just that amount and exercise, you create a deficit and thereby lose weight! These are medical facts people.

Not just a "thyroid" issue. As you can see from my post, mine was a myriad of medical conditions, not just one. Treating any one of those problems wouldn't fix my excess weight. I didn't start noticing any change in weight until they all were treated. And you Sir, do not understand the full mechanics of weight gain/loss. Not everyone has the same dietary needs. 1600 calories may be too little or much calories depending on a person's activity level, muscle mass, and metabolism. I can eat 1600 calories worth of Twinkies, and I may lose weight, but I guarantee that I won't have a lean toned body. Why? Because the carbs tell my body to store any excess energy as fat. I encourage everyone to research things before posting.

Really some people are born fat. There was an Asian baby born a few years ago whose story went all over the Internet. He weighed like 20 pounds or more at birth and was already a Sumo. By age 3 he weighed more than 100 pounds. He has some kind of glandular disorder and was already having trouble with several organs. His body did not know how to metabolize food. And some toddler morbidly obese girl in the U.S. screams loud and constantly for more and more food. If she does not get huge portions all the time she has terrible tantrums and beats her head on the floor. She was pre-verbal at the time I saw this. They had to keep a kind of helmet on her to keep her from brain damage while they tried to figure out why she has screamed for food constantly since birth. It was pitiful. In addition to genetic propensities towards obesity, yes, in extremely rare cases, some people are born fat. Everyone without a disease or physical disorder who is fat has an unhealthy relationship with food. I think unless you love cooking, you shouldn't have a relationship with food at all, except for special holidays and occasions where food is celebratory. It should be just a pleasant part of your day. Fat people are always thinking about food, about what they want for supper, or where they want to go eat, or about what they need to quit eating, or what they need to sneak out of the kitchen to "break" a diet or "cheat on" a diet. Fat people are always either over-eating or under-eating in spurts, in a cycle of feeling good about themselves & "in control" or feeling horrible about themselves about the times they are constantly "losing control."I guess it's a compulsion or addiction. It's certainly like the third person in a relationship.

Great if she actually does something. What about the incalcitrants that tell you to **** off when you try and help by saying "lets work out together honey"

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