Think She's Cheating

I thought I loved my wife, but somehow we glide apart, I do not even know who she is anymore and I think she's cheating, but I'm not sure. 
ChrisValentin ChrisValentin 26-30, M 2 Responses Feb 11, 2011

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My wife cheated on me with a co-worker about 8 years ago. My kids were 6 and 2. What a *****. Still together but only for the kids. I cant wait until they have lives of their own so I can be free.

You need to look at all the records you have on her to know if she is cheating.

Check her call log on her cell phone which will list all in/out calls as well as messages and multimedia messages. If you find anything, note the other number and search the internet or local phone book for it. There are also services that can look up if you need.

Using the pretense that you "know a way to make her computer go faster", get permission to get on her computer and look up the internet history. Do a search for ways to find stored passwords on her favorite browser. You may also find files in her Recent Documents that may indicate stored information about websites and logins. Look into her email.

If she has a job, call and find out her hours and see about any erratic time she may have had. See if she has had recent days off or taken long lunches or unusual breaks. Employers will tell this kind of info to other employers looking for information on applicants, mind you. Employers will also ask other questions about applicants, so be creative.

You also need to find out about any cash she is withdrawing and do an accounting of it. Tracking cash is difficult, but $100 for a night out with friends would seem suspicious to anyone. You can discuss financial worries and ask for receipts under the premise that she may have expenditures that are tax deductible. If she has credit cards, look at their statements and find out where she is spending her money.

Stay familiar with her friends and coworkers so you can float questions from time to time about concerns you might have about what she is doing when away. If you make the conversation light and even humorous, they will likely open up and voice concerns they have had about her behavior.

You can also keep track of her mileage on her car, comparing to what she should be driving when she goes out.

Finally, you could rent a car with cash and follow her out one night to see for yourself. There is also the option of hiring another to do the same if you can afford it, but this option should be saved for when you know of suspicious spending and she has had time she cannot account for.