Wife? Or Curse?I got married to this person I loved about 7 years back. Worst decision of my life. She is selfish (cares pretty much only about her needs and emotions and creates so much hell at home), she has several strong traits of childish/childlike behavior, deflection of all blame and hysterics, impossible to reason with and a very poisonous mouth. She does not give a damn about the sensitivities of others. She constantly accuses me making her play second fiddle.
I’ve been putting up with her for all this time now as we have 2 lovely daughters aged 4 & 6 (Who unfortunately also seem to be changing into her!) I’m particularly disappointed and worried now because of this. I can probably hold on but the thought of my two daughters going down the same route makes it horrible to think of.
She is "happy" and "chatty" only around her friends and family. Around mine, she is aloof, disinterested or just plain rude. She picks apart everything my friends and loved ones say and do. She makes it a point to be seen as a separate person. This makes it extremely difficult to have a nice time with my friends and family. It’s particularly distressing because my friends and family visit very rarely because they can’t stand her anymore.
She is overly critical of me around my friends and family. She is visibly happier when they aren’t around. She says and does the most horrible things that I can even imagine to me. One day, getting a 100% salary bump I call her first of all ecstatically to relay the news and her statement was “What can you do with that men?” Another time, I had mislaid my phone and used hers to ring mine. I dialed my number and rang my phone. After I located my phone I looked at her screen to identify the disconnect button. That’s when I saw, that my number was saved as “The Fool”. She makes a big fuss about every single thing and my kids think that I am abusive towards her because she makes such a huge scene. She has this martyred attitude and brings it into play whenever she can. She goes around the whole neighborhood telling all her friends what she thinks of me. I on the other hand make it a point never to tell anybody of whatever issues I undergo with her. This makes me seem the bad guy in everyone’s eyes. She hates the fact that I am involved in working with young people. She goes haywire when my friends ask me out for a meal or to visit them and says that I am behaving like a bachelor and rants on and on. I, like an idiot have always encouraged her to go out. I could go on and on.
I have spoken and spoken to her about all this but nothing is working. I have tried my best to keep this family together. I can’t take this anymore... I’m at a point where I wouldn’t mind ending the marriage. If only I didn’t have my daughters depending on me. There was a time when I would do anything for her... but I hate her now. Hate the thought of going back home to be with her. Hate the prospect of having to spend the rest of my life with her. I can’t bear this anymore! Having gone through so much, I have just realized that I have fallen out of love and I have no idea how to cope with that. Would appreciate if any of you guys had any advice or revelations for me which you feel would help me out. I actually am planning to leave my country and find work abroad as I really can’t deal with this. I don’t know if that is the best way to handle it.