I Can't Stand Her Anymore.

Hello. I am a wife who my husband doesn't want to be with anymore. He is so angry with me all the time. We have been married twenty six years. He used to love me to bits. So much I guess I took him for granted? But he works such long hours, drinks so much and went away on business so much. I got depressed over losing several pregnancies ten years ago. I was desperate for a daughter. Someone to talk to. I have three sons. He offered to give up work and get a nanny and help look after me and have another baby. We were so close then. And I didn't want him to have to choose work over me. He has no time to speak to me during the day. Leaves at Five am and returns at nine, wanting to drink and go to bed at ten. He likes aggressive exercise and says we have nothing in common anymore. I tried to help him set up new businesses, I work from home myself. But now he has left. I had an emotional affair that got physical. I admitted it when he said he was leaving. He said I was being so nice to him, but he'd had one night stands, desperate for physical affection. I said don't worry, I had been unfaithful too, it was my fault. I think a sixty year marriage without indiscretions is quite a tall order. But I wld never do it again. It is a sign of desperation. He then said he client get over my affair just yet and may never and left. Inlet him come home weekends for a year. And we text and email every day. Usually me stalking him. But I was trying to say sorry. He left believing I didn't love him. I raised my bar ninety percent. Lost two stone, always look amazing, do everything in the house, with the kids, clean the cars frantically. I have changed every little physical thing he complained of. But he is so sensitive and can take no form of criticism, like I count when I was depressed. Some jokes he likes, ' you always make me laugh" and some hit a nerve and I am trying to learn his pressure buttons. He lost thousands on another business venture this year, but I didn't stop him, I thought our marriage was more important. He fell in love with his best friends wife in April, so has lost two good mates now. It has been very devicive. I got tough before Xmas, admitting defeat and said ok, I am done. He chucked his girlfriend, came home for two days, promising to give it his best shot. Told the kids and close family. I was prepared to be patient as I know how painful love and affairs are. They are stronger than you. He wldnt sleep in our bed, said he needed time, agreed to come home at weekends, go to counselling, spend one night a week at his place in town together, he wld give it his best shot, indefinitely, be committed. I reintegrated him into my wider family over Xmas, they welcomed him. He said it was lovely, I had worked so hard, made so much effort, but his blood started to boil when I cldnt read the map, he knew he wld never love me again, never get over my indiscretion, and he wanted a divorce. He told me an hour before we were due to go on a family holiday for new year.

I know he is in a bad place. And it sounds like it is too late for us. One week he says if I contact him again he will get a court order. The next he wants to come home. This is the second time in a year he has said "maybe we can go back to the fantastic marriage we had three years ago". That lasted five hours until his girlfriend texted. He used to be so honourable, kind, gentle, religious, decent. He earns too much money, it has gone to his head.

Anyway to you boys out there who hate your wives, tell them. Tell them every little thing that upsets you and how it makes you feel. Tell them you want to leave, you are desperate and miserable. And then listen to her. I buried my head in the sand thinking if I helped him start another business we wld have more quiet time together. I have done everything I can. My children say "why do u want him back", but when I love something I love it for ever and I know an unreconciled future will bread hatred and resentment on my part.

It is so much easier for her to take the child out on the bike, while u do the washing up, than have u leave. I wld have done it a thousand times over if I had known.

So you men that can't bear to be in the same rooms as your wife, if she had a metamorphosis, do you think your feelings wld ever change?

Any comments accepted, however tough.

Hello to You all here,

Im from UK and, in a similar situation, got two lovley little Girls, and a wife

who Im starting to resent more and more.

Married 13 yrs .....although Im begining to question how I can tolerate the

endless and pointless disagreements over EVERY single thing.

Its just exhausting, Im a pretty easy going Guy , but I have this women in My life that I do not understand anymore.

I wonder when she changed into this person?! i know its been a gradual process, but Im at the stage when I take the Kids to school , I dread the whole time Shes around.

I work offshore so when Im home I like to make the most of the time

but to be honest, its easier earning the wages, than having to go through this when I get back.

She even started on at Me over straws for the kids drinks at the drive thru?!

the last straw.....marriage some compromise?!

Familiarity / contempt.

Here is something that just happened and I have to share it with y'all.



My wife sees the neighbors teaching their daughter how to ride a bike. I am cleaning the kitchen. My wife says to our daughter...come here quick, Caitlynn is learning to rife her bike. Do you want to learn how to rife your bike now? Yes, I want to mommy. Mommy runs to the garage to get the bike brings it into the house. My daughter is super excited now. My wife, stops at the kitchen and say can you do this? I said no, I am cleaning the kitchen. My wife rolls her eyes and throws a fit. Ok then, I will do it! This is a dad and daughter thing! You should be doing it! (There is the guilt aspect thrown in.) I went out and did it. Because I did not want to deal with her BS! Anyway, enjoy your weekend everyone!

I'm guessing she is much like my wife. I know guys joke about always saying she is right but that is bs. It's a personality disorder if you ask me. My wife can never be wrong and she would rather stick a needle in her eye than admit that she is wrong. Why the hell is that? Insecurity? No real communication can ever happen in a lot of marriages because the wife is such a monster. But still, the whole world will be on her side no matter what.

It's comforting to find other men in the same situation as I am.

We've been together for 12 years, married for 11, with a 10 year old son. I've stayed in the marriage for him. My wife has been nothing but ignorant, cold and heartless for the past several years, and especially the last 6 months!

And as for her mannerisms, oh lord! This woman used to be sexy, hot, beautiful, polite. Now, she sneezes like a man, blows her nose like a drug addict, ***** 5 times a day and feels proud of the fact! I was relaxing this morning before going to work, in the living room, heater on, lights on, curtains closed, and she just walks in, opens the curtains and turns the lights off! No consideration for what I was doing! That in itself set me up for feeling angry the whole day!

It's gotten to the point that I can't stand to be in the same room as her!

She spends more time sleeping with our son than me, and that in itself is ******* me off!



I just had a great week away with a home business I'm involved with, in the Bahamas. I had ample opportunity to cheat if I wanted it, but chose to stay faithful. God only knows why though - my wife hasn't touched me in so long, I started fantasizing about a woman I met last week simply because she hugged me!



Nothing I do makes any difference with her. If I try to bring issues up for discussion, she thinks I'm just complaining and starts talking over the top of me or starts making a ton of noise to drown me out!



It's gotten to the point where I'm ready for leaving, kids or no kids. My son knows the situation and I've assured him he'll be able to stay with me whenever he wants.



Furthermore, I think she's had an affair which has recently ended. All the signs were there, and now, suddenly, she's gone back to her old self. Well, I am past the point of caring.



Reading the stories of you guys above, it's a relief to know I'm not the only man going through this!

There IS a decent woman out there for us guys, we just have to be patient and selective. Don't rush anything.



You owe it to yourself, I owe it to myself, to have the best in life you can! And that includes a supportive marriage where your wife is your best friend forever!!

Funny how women say that men stole the best years of their lives.



Start socking away money NOW. If you need inexpensive legal assistance email me. You come first. Either way, your kids will suffer. Get out.

Funny how women say that men stole the best years of their lives.



Start socking away money NOW. If you need inexpensive legal assistance email me. You come first. Either way, your kids will suffer. Get out.

From the sounds of your story, your wife psychologically controls you. And not only psychologically...

You see, you lived together for 17 years, and she knows how much you cherish your kids. And that is why her behaviour is so abusive and agressive.

She knows you will try to stay calm and do the best for your children, no matter what **** comes out of her mouth.

I am not sure what would solve that issue, but I am sure something could be done.

Basically, you have to make it clear for her who's the leader in your nice little microsocium. She's pushing you around because she thinks she's the one in power.

Very true sweetangel46740. Here is the problem that our CRAZY wife's have....They think all women are like them. I hear "It's normal!" or "All women are like that!" when I question my wife on what she says/does. Example....My wife believed that she can treat her friends better than me. She thought it was normal because she lives with me and has the right to treat me like crap. During this time she would say "All women are like that" or "My friends are the same way". Well, after one of the therapist that we saw said, that was not the way...You treat your spouse better than you would treat anyone else. (WINNING! :) She gave in. One small victory for me!



On a similar note...I have found out that my wife needs to make me look bad to her friends. In other words she has no problem deceiving me to others in order to make her look like I am the bad guy. I have found out through text messages. This one fact is why I am seriously looking at getting a divorce. I know she has friends at work that she applies this logic to. So when I go to a work function with her, I can see some people looking at me like I am a terrible person. The sad thing is that I did nothing!!!!! Anyway, I would love to hear from others if you are experiencing the same thing. Thanks all.

hey guys not all wifes r like that just some my husband doesnt do anything around house. he just works and gives me money to pay bills. i cook i clean i bring his food to him when it is done i bring him his drinks or what ever he ask me to do .so just some wifes are like that sorry

My wife hates that I fight back too. Than tells me I have a temper problem. Yeah, no I have a you ******* me off problem, ya beeotch.

My wife for the first time in our 8 years of marriage is starting to throwout the divorce card. Why? Because I am fighting back and she can't stand it! I am who she is and it ****** her off. Like others here, I am staying because of our beautiful little 6 year old girl. It is hard to do, but I am going to have to let go. This is killing me. Here is some good info. for the abused man....



shrink4men.wordpress (dot) com/2009/07/27/how-emotionally-abusive-women-control-you-the-fear-of-loss-and-the-need-for-approval/

Thats my world too. You are not alone. I wanted to start a website with the domain name of mywifeisab!tch (Dot) com. But it was already taken.