Praying For the End of Time..

I hate my wife. I find myself saying it tourette-like.  So far I'm only whispering, but soon the volume will increase.

I have none of the horrors in the other stories. My wife is faithful and she understands the need to spend less most of the time.  I still hate her.  She is utterly frigid.

Sex? Too religious to use birth control, too poor for more kids.  Oral? A disgusting sin.  Kissing? Just plain gross. I'm only allowed to touch her if I'm rubbing her back, feet, or head.  *****. 

Can't divorce her.  I'd miss the kids and what little money there is.  I have no desire to be a middle age loser who lives in his parent's basement.  I prefer to be a loser with his own house - a small scrap of dignity.

She watches more tv in a day than I do in a month.  Poor health often keeps her in bed, but she is always tired.  Hard to sleep if you're up to 1am watching crap.  Idiot.

When I come home from work, I start cleaning.  Her poor health again and yes, she is home all day.   Hey can you change it to channel 6?  I lost the remote.  Damn her.

She wants to go on an expensive vacation.  I'm raiding that account just to pay bills.  She's building up this great dream of a time in our kids' heads.  She knows we don't have the cash.  How many times can her credit card get refused for that to sink in?   I try to downplay it, point out that we may not be going.  The kids just roll their eyes at me. 

I tell anyone about to get married not to do it.  They don't listen, of course, neither did I.  Fool.

foolwithnomoney foolwithnomoney
36-40, M
88 Responses Mar 21, 2007

legalize prostitution

Misery loves a companion. I feel bad for cracking a grin knowing other men are dealing with the same bullshit I am.

First of all, my wife -- no eff'ing joke -- watches 16 hours of TV a day. How do I know this? Because I configured the bandwidth monitor on our home router to graph data usage while I am work. Sure enough, 16 hours of pure TV bullshit.

I'm such an idiot, too. Why? Because I thought I could fix the TV watching problem by cancelling DirecTV. Nope. All she did was download the iPad app that lets her watch anything, anywhere there is a wifi signal ... and NOW she is mobile. In one day, she watches more TV than I do in three months. I actually hate TV because of her, which is why I had no problem cancelling DirecTV.

Sex? I suppose you could call it that. She NEVER initiates and NEVER has interest. "Don't touch my nipples". "Don't touch my legs". Try to please her and the legs lock up tighter then a UFC fighter in a head lock. Once done, out comes the iPad ... more TV. It's also like humping a lump of meat in bed. Instead, I'm tempted to grab two slabs of liver, stuff them into a jar filled with a little bit of warm water and disappear for 15 minutes. Hmmmm ... not a bad idea. But I prefer ****. I believe **** was invented for this very reason; wives who don't love their husbands.

My new game; Randomly shutdown the wifi/internet to the house. I'll wait until she goes to bed, then schedule the wifi to drop out for 1 or 2 hours in the middle of the day. Then I'll up it to 5 or 6 hours the next day. Then drop it back down a few hours the third day. I'll plead ignorance as to what's wrong. I'll tell her to reboot the router. This REALLY frustrates her that she can't watch TV. She ends up driving to my sister's house to use her wifi instead. omg. Really?

I'm done with this bullshit. The only reason I stick around is for my kids and I'll be damned if I pay her alimony. Eff that. I make good money so I know she'd get a lot.


Love the song... Paradise By The Dashboard Light.

Have you considered that she might be depressed. It causes one to be tired all the time but an insomniac at the same time. Weird, I know. Treatment for that isn't too terribly expensive if it is caused by a nutritional deficiency like vitamin b12, or hypothyroidism. It can be more costly if she has PCOS or sleep hypopnea. Well worth getting her treated.

She probably needs to be held, kissed, and cuddled with even though sex isn't on her mind. She's worried about the future, even if sometimes it doesn't seem like it. The vacation is her wanting to get out. She doesn't like the situation any more than you do.

Kids are not easy to handle all the time, and being cramped in the basement, she probably doesn't feel like she gets a break from them. For her sanity, take the kids sometimes, so she can go for a walk or something.

As far as the tv, do you have cable? If so, get it turned off. If not, unplug the tv and feign ignorance as to why it doesn't work. Maybe she'll get up to check on it?

I don't understand how sex can be boring. Does she just lay there? I find that my spouse likes me to thrust my hips up while he stays motionless. Oral is slightly gross, but I clean him off, and we're good. Don't let him *** in my mouth. It just doesn't taste good, and the texture is not great. He's okay with that. We discussed our sexual likes/dislikes and compromised. Have you discussed the sex with her? Maybe look online for info about sex and show her? Not ****, just stuff that you'd like to try. She may be inclined to give oral if you give her oral. I don't like it, but I'm told many women do. And usually they don't like it until they 0rgasm.

Tell her about pulling out if she's worried about kids. My husband pulls out, and we try not to have sex around the time that I'm ovulating, about two weeks after my period. Usually easy to know because my husband says that I'm extra in the mood then. He doesn't like to sheath it, preferring to go bareback. We don't do hormonal bc because I don't respond well to it. Not fun throwing up all the time. And we're not getting snipped because we might decide to have another child. Pulling out has worked for 3 years and counting now. We don't do double sessions because he still has ********* on him. The only thing that we worry about is pre-*********, which is why we don't do it close to ovulation time.

Fully understand though in my case it's just the kids keeping me there.think you need to lay cards on the table and tell her to start being a wife.

Never pray for the end of (your) time. Pray for the end of HER time.

"Can't divorce her. I'd miss the kids and what little money there is. I have no desire to be a middle age loser who lives in his parent's basement. I prefer to be a loser with his own house - a small scrap of dignity."

In a nutshell, that's my life to. I admit I'm a loser for chosing unwisely. It's caused a life of utter disappointment

Yeah my wife disappoints me too - almost left her a couple of times in the last year. She's got her flaws but not as bad as the stories I'm reading in this forum. Maybe you just need to go fishing more and just let things turn to **** even more if that's the level of mediocrity your wife is on. It's a disgrace when married women let themselves go it shows a lack of self respect and disinterest in life. No woman wants to be fat and ugly...and the more she goes that way the more bitter she gets towards the world. Angelina Jolie is a great role model for young women I say - although I bet she's one for talking back too much. I thought she was a bit too career oriented in the film "Mr and Mrs Smith". She could have stayed at home and cooked the dinner a bit more and supported her man I reckon.

I feel like I have found the right forum. The problem with my situation is that I share 50 % of the blame for our disfunctional relationship. I decided to become close to the exact opposite person of my ex-wife and found out that I need someone more in the middle. Now the woman that I "love" has me "trapped" with all the comforts of a perfect home minus the mutual respect and love. The dogs get more love than I do, and what I don't like is that they don't have to worry about being spied on in creative ways. This posting is being monitored with a key logger! HA! and I don't care. Mind control and dominance only work on someone who actually cares. Wait until she finds out that my creative ways are a little more subtle. When the person standing on the higher rung falls there is a lot more time for gravity to make an impression.

I hate my wife as well. she let's her 16 year olds daughter rule my house. I cannot take it. There are days were I would rather put a gun in my mouth than to deal with her. She treats my son like crap but I have to kiss her children's rears.

The only reason I stay is because of my 19 month old. I would be miserable knowing I would only see him on weekends. I am miserable too. I cannot stand her mother who is a selfish B*tch. I can't take much more. I honestly would rather be dead than be with her or leave her and not see my baby every day. I do not know what to do? There are days when I just feel like blowing my ******* head off to escape, sad but true.

I hate my wife. The only thing that keeps me sane is continuing to do exactly what the hell I want anyway.<br />
She cannot change, and I am not going to try and change myself if she won't.<br />
My dad was right that women are simply selfish, never mind, I'll use her to sprout a few nippers and then **** off when they are older.

Right on I will hold on till my girls understand and then I\'m away.

My situation is very alike. We get into fights all the time over everything. She is never very affectionate and I am always the one to blame for every thing. Whoever said marriage is 50/50 was dead wrong. It is 0/100, with me taking the blame and receiving no love 100% of the time. I'm sorry and I feel for you.

Wow, I thought it was just me. I don't know if I'll ever leave because of the kids and the money, just like everyone else. I can say this, if I do or god willing she leave's me, I will never marry again. I don't understand why a ring is the symbol of marriage, it should be a set of hand cuffs



"I have no desire to be a middle age loser who lives in his parent's ba<x>sement. I prefer to be a loser with his own house - a small scrap of dignity."<br />
<br />
You sound like my friend Danny. He married a hot girl, was always boasting about the hot sex he was getting from her etc. Now, fast foward 2 years his life has been reduced to this.<br />
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1. No sex (she became a born again christian 1 week after marriage lol)<br />
2. Two kids, and these kids are the annoying little f'ers you wish on your worst enemy.<br />
3. Works overtime to afford house 2 trucks etc.<br />
4. Wife put on 40-50 pounds, is ugly and wears jogging pants all the time. She's not hot no more I can tell you that.<br />
5. Watches TV all the time.<br />
6. If not watching TV obsessed with having little house parties with her friends.<br />
7. It looks like he's aged a good bit too.<br />
<br />
He told me ... He would give anything to have my single, childless life again. He told me to never ever ever get married.<br />
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I visit him in his little nightmare home from time to time to remind me of the horrors.

I'm kinda torn here here I mean I have a great deal of sympathy for you because I feel no one should be unhappy and trapped in a bad marriage but I believe your wife must be very depressed And I've always been told there are no truly fridid women that a great lover can't cure. The problem is men stop trying after a few years of marriage usually don't try as hard, we can't get our rocks off just by pleasing you alone not trying to be mean. I'd be happy to give you some tips. life is short and everyone should be happy by my name you can see that I am not but sex is not a real struggle for me so maybe I can help you a bit.

I understand brother. This problem is more rampant than you think. And yes you are willing to pick up something (some say this enable) if you don't then the other group says you are not helping. Then if don't pick up then she will let it sit for days. Between a rock and hard place. The question for me has been why? One answer I have is that they can. For many reasons. The next issue is how to get around it. Please keep your children with you as much as possible. One to train how not to be and other is to give you some help. Even a 5 year old can help pick up a piece of trash. Then use this time to make more money. then take a breath and take your next step. Good Luck

You should join the group here i live in a sexless marriage. It has over 26,000 members. You will here plenty of stories like yours and they will offer plenty of meaningful advice.<br />
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The advice i offer you is seek out a Good Divorce Lawyer find out your rights than plan your exit strategy.<br />
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Stay Strong & Good Luck

So what has ended up happening with you?

Hmm... if you need response from the mass of the web, I'd say you're in it thick- looking for a stroke of kindness instead of manning up and dealing with an obvious issue (what would have happened back in the caveman days?).

wholly **** - two seconds on and ... gag me

I hate my wife, too. She's a *****. Hang in there, bro.

wow thats really bad. im so sorry

OMG, so glad I'm not a guy! I'd prob be stuck in the same HELL as most of these men! Poor saps!<br />
There should be a rule that they make engaged couples (no matter what type of upbringing they've had) watch/and or live with married couples who've been together for more then 10 yrs or more, so they can understand that all the B/S they were taught about how "wonderful and beautiful" a marriage can be is usually only great for the first couple of years, then the kids come along and things go down hill from there. Engaged couples are never told," wait until she has a child and gets fat and loses her sex drive"...engaged couples are never told, "wait until the money problems start happening...wait until he starts drinking alot to make up for the fact that he is no longer "into you", and finds his secretary much more appealing. The engaged couple is never told about when the wonderful, blissful feelings of being Newlyweds wears off....and reality sinks in: he farts in bed alot and drools on his pillow....she has the morning zombie breath ,crusty snot eyes and crazy bed head of a homeless person....he sh**s in the toilette and thinks the horrible smell and size of his turds is the funniest thing in the world, even funnier when it disgusts his new wife....she has an annoying habit of coughing up morning phlegm and grunting alot afterwards....he picks his nose while watching tv (an old habit he never could kick...he HID it well when the couple were dating, but now....hey she's living under the same roof now!)....she constantly stares at herself in the mirror, which keeps her locked up in the bathroom for HOURS, making the couple inevitably late for everything.....he doesn't realize just how bad his BO is and refuses to shower more often....and they both are horrible in bed, (both have had better) but lie to each other anyway about it's because...hey, 'for better or worse', right? <br />
I sincerely feel for you guys who refuse divorce because of the kids. I've known men who have done just that.....waited until the kids were older and off at college before filing papers. Let me say something...those kids already know how miserable you are, no matter how hard you try and hide it and "pretend" to be the "oh so happy cookie cutter family". You think you are sparing your children, but they can see right through that charade you and your wife are pulling. They aren't dumb. They see their friends parents doing the same thing...or watching their friends parents getting a divorce. They know all the signs and what to be aware of. Its stupid to pretend to be happy and/or satisfied when you are truly not. All you are doing is cheating yourself. <br />
So, all you married guys out there....was it worth it? <br />
The only "happily ever after" is the one you make for yourself. <br />
Sooo glad I'm not a guy.

what about the guy getting a beer belly...losing ur hair and how ur penis doesnt perk up as well as it use too ....and oh how u never want to go anywhere just sit in ur big chair all day .....

I made the big jump,and i am separating the crazy *****,everyone around me thinks i am an *******. I`ll be the happy ******* at least,turned out my wife might be "Borderline" (99% sure),guys if your wife is sucking your life out of you,it`s not a relationship anymore,you need to seek some advice and talk to someone.Do not underestimate your wifes,most of them are manipulative *******,watch out.My wife spent more time telling me how bad i was and made me feel guilty for the way she was. really guys life`s too short to be putting up with someone because you made some vows years ago,promises can be broken,we are only human!

Whatever the circumstances, this is the raw material of your life. Work with it, take from it, modify this or that, add to it. Build something with it. It's in your hands. Do something; it will not be done for you.

my husband always wanted to find flaws in me, made fun of me infront of his friends, honestly i visited his work this evening to get some money for groceries and he didn't see me enter the room and i heard him say to his friend " omg ur gf is worst than my wife" and when he saw me, he repeated this again and was laughing and i didn't react, just got the money, did groceries, came home cooked dinner for him and he didn't say thanks or sorry or nothing and slept in the living room!!!! what would have happened if i reacted in front of his friend, he would have hated me more because I had opened my mouth in front of his friend and he wouldn't care to think WHY? so what was the point of reacting, may be he wanted me to react this way! and was shocked to see after all this humiliation she didn't react!<br />
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I wanted to say that why don't you support your wife if she is unwell? and tell her that i am there for you and don't worry! instead of feeling that you have to do everything. Why don't you tell her that we will try and fit in the vacation some other time! <br />
there are different ways of handling things! not that you start hating her and make it more difficult for you!<br />
women love to be admired and treated nicely ;) and men must learn that if you handle them the right way you can mold them how u want them to be ;)<br />
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Stay cool, and be positive! think about nice moments u have shared....not why u dislike her! and keep finding bad things ;)<br />
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Well men i to live a life of hell to i have ben with my whyfe for over 23 years and all i do is work every day some weeks six days plus am on the road all the time mean while my wife lets my 15 year old have beer party's plus my daughter has tolled one car all ready so i put a stop to all of it and i am a no good S.O.B.I have had a back operation had to beg my doctor to go back to work i got to take pain pills so i can even try to work thank god i am a boss or i could not no way work [Construction] and because i take pain pills i am a drug addict all i do is try and make a honest living now i got throwed out of my own house that i payed for the payment was set up that they took $700 a week out of my check before i ever saw it yes a week now i dont only live in a hotel 5 days a week now i got to 7 days a week what should i do please help...the bad thing is i dont drink i dont do nothing but try to be nice and a good husbend

I've been married for 18 years, together for 20, and we've had sex once or twice in about the last 9 years. Why? Well, for starters, it's BORING!!!!!! How many times can you f*** in your life without getting bored???? I don't care how spectacular your *******'s the same old same old...and I just don't care if I ever have it again! I'm approaching 50 now. I'm already done with menopause. My husband needs to lose about 50 pounds...I need to lose about 10. In our younger days, I would try to be open so that we could have a good sex life, and I would tell him some things I liked. What I got back was "You're too picky"...when I suggested we tell each other stories about what turned us on, he told me to go first, and when I told him one scenario his response was "That is so lame!....blah blah blah blah". So, you know, you can just forget it! Oh, and by the way, stop handling me like a six pack! And when I go to bed at night, which is always an hour or two after he does, DON'T grab my breasts! Geez, Louise! Can't you just gently hug me, the whole person???? Do you always have to stick your hands on my breasts or between my legs? For cryin' out loud...I would constantly grab your ****, but then you would think I wanted sex!!!!!!!

yes eulogia, I know what you mean by grabbing breasts, my spouse does the same when he walk by me..... I don't get a sweet kiss or a gentle hug instead he grabs MY BREASTS....... guys if u are reading THIS..... us females like sweet kisses and gentle hugs also ...........

I hear you! How many times did people warn me about marriage. I ignored it, brushed it off, not for religion or morals, but as a fool does. I thought i was different. My time came, i feel in love, 3 years later i got married, 2 years after that we want to kill to each other, but now there is money and property and little ones to consider, and we are trapped neck deep in a big pile of hate, misery, disgust and fear. What a fool was I! The M word is dangerous. It kills love. It ruins your life. If i could go back in time and give myself one piece of advise: Never Get Married, NEVER!

Lol it's like u r describing me:)<br />
I don't like to have sex with my husband coz he is selfish ,<br />
Been married 3 years and I can count the times that I actully enjoyed it, I hate it now it's just not worth the effort , think that kissing is gross coz he forgets to brush his teeth sometimes , I am sexually deprifed but I don't think about it much and try to be happy and I love my husband most of the time .. :d <br />
I guess that's the difreenc between men and women <br />
U r too selfish

Sorry you dont get what you need. Not to be rude but If you wouldnt have had kids with her, you could just run away. I think having kids with someone should be the most important decision someone should make. Definitely more important than marriage.

I am sorry I never sat my hub down and told him right out what my expectations are......he is simple and not real into intellectual conversations etc. He has a humourous side but soooo much ignorance!<br />
His ignorance is overwheming.......I am better read than he and take enough as it is...<br />
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I just want to be appreciated and not marked or thrown continuous sarcasm...I wish he would make me feel special or say something in favor of me...<br />
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Oh WELL I feel for you guys I know there are unbearable women out there too, It is too bad true hearted people can't hook up...hmmmm

Thanks doll I appreciate someone who understands..

BETINE I CAN RELATE... my guy is not into intell... conversation..... he doesn't get it, he has spurts of insight of a intellectual conversation........ im not to high brow on to many levels, but I can relate well to just about anything ....... as for my spouse, I gave up on his light bulb moments.... to far and in between to wait for the light to go on ....

You MUST be talking about my wife!! It's her, I swear!! I NEVER get sex, she's a total idiot, a real loser. She starts fights every damn day. Bugs the crap out of me. Hate her guts with a passion!!!!!!!!<br />
Any hitmen out there?????????

i feel your pain but I think yours is worse. thanks for the perspective. tell the lazy ***** to get a job - at least pretend you did

I agree totally....NEVER GET MARRIED...sure, sometimes it works out, BUT (and that is a HUGE BUT!), when marriage does not work out, then YOU ARE NOW TRAPPED IN A HELL OF YOUR OWN MAKING...there is no reason whatsoever to legally tie your happiness to another person...just live together and have separate property...if you want kids, then just have them! Screw's too hard to extricate yourself from a bad one!

U cannot change other people...only yourself. You will find the strength and courage when it is the right time. I feel your pain.

I am an at home mom w/2 kids under age 3. I'm at home all day with them, & I'm ALWAYS tired. My husband goes to work & comes home & wonders... "why is she so tired? she didn't go to work!" No, i didn't. But I did 4 loads of laundry & put it all neatly away. I swept & mopped & cleaned up 1000 miscellaneous messes made by our children. I've cooked 3 meals, prepare 3 snacks, and packed your lunch for tomorrow. I also vacuumed, dusted, did the dishes, took out the trash, cleaned the kitchen and 2 1/2 bathrooms. I also bathed the kids, dress them 2 or more times a day, then made time to read and do activities with them to avoid the t.v-sitter. I also took the kids to the grocery store, that was fun! While I was at it, we stopped at the playground for an hour to tire them out before I put them down for the night. While he's working a 12 hour 3rd shift, plus I make sure he sleeps a min. of 7 hours but usually gets 8 or 9. Somehow, I want sex more than he does & I actually enjoy oral... if you can imagine that! Plus, I work out about 3 times a week to get back my pre-baby figure back AND I cut his hair once a week to save $$. I am not high maintenance, no name brand purses or shoes, I'm so simple. I do what I do because I love my husband, but it IS insulting to be the woman that does so much to be taken for granted, to be unappreciated, and disrespected. To love, honor, & cherish. If YOU don't, she won't.

vega said ...&gt;If YOU don't, she won't.

gypsy said.... u got that right

I feel for you all. I am a female but so far removed from what society deems a 'normal' female and I hate what my sex does to you all. And there is nothing strange about me. I am a professional woman, academic, sociable, attractive, loves a laugh and a beer......however I am 35 and unmarried with no kids. So that automatically makes me a freak, But I'm not interested in marriage or kids but I love companionship and love and hanging out, having fun and making the most of it. I dislike the manipulation and the craziness that guys have to deal with. I can't tell you how often I've had to tell my female mates to pull their head in because they are being crazy and playing silly mind-games. And I've had a number (scary telling you the real number) who have 'accidentally' fallen pregnant, which winds me up even more, especially those who are in their 30's and feel their biological clock ticking. Seriously TRUST ME.....if any woman tells you they accidentally fell pregnant and they are over 30, assume they have scammed you!.....seriously!!. I'm not a girl who can't hold down a guy....I have been in longterm relationships most of my life but I just dont want to enter the marriage/children/hate your partner thing. The guys who got out are lucky - so many out there are stuck for life! Just keep in mind that sometimes it works the other way (i've been there, hence me being here on this site).

swer i get what ur saying................ i fear for my son ............. so far he has made it with out some female traping him............. but i still worry..... i dont mind having a grad child but ........... at this time it would be another person for me to worry about......... i only have one child , but for me that is more than enough!

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"Cause if I have to take another minute of this I don't think that I could really survive!"<br />
GREAT song by Meatloaf - Love it!

It sucks when your caught in a sticky situation like this. You want to leave but your bound by so many things to your partner and your staying only because of the kids...there are so many people in this situation. <br />
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Every marriage has its ups and downs. I think your resentful because life hasn't turned out like you thought it would. You work and come home to a messy house that you have to clean...that sounds like a working wife. My dad would come home from work and sit in front of the tv and mum would be rushing around cleaning up after a mess dad made. <br />
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If you love your children you will be good to your wife, not for your wife's sake but for your children. The kids will grow up to learn about how hateful and harsh the world is when they begin to explore the world themselves but you bringing that hateful energy into your home will teach your children how to be hateful as well. Why don't you teach your children to help clean so that you don't have too much on your plate? Has your wife been to the doctor? she may have depression which is quite crippling especially if your out of work...

wow. It's amazing hearing the other side...thanks guys you put a smile on my face!

It sucks, it all sucks big time!!<br />
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You have this fantasy and then it falls to ****. Myl hubby is recently diagnosed with manic depression with severe lateral bipolar disorder sometimes outta control, but here I stay playing miss perfect supportve wifey and mother but gee.... underneath theres another me, the real one wanting to break ouf of this prison cell and be human again. and feel alive again, a marriage like this is like a jail sentence. Where's the joy? I am asking.... Where's all the friggin joy? There is no laughter when he is home. Unfortunately, miss perfect wifey doesn't want to leave and live in poverty with her 2 children when her hubby finally cracks it when he finds out its over and it wont be good for the children to witness... it wont b pretty for anyone to witness as i;ve seen it all before, the last time I did it and said I wanted a divorce he refused to leave. . its not like its over then either because as the father of your children he will still be part of my/their life forever.<br />
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This has brought me to the depths of depression that I didn't know existed lately and it's starting to feel inescapable. <br />
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Getting married is almost never what you think it's going to be :( I don't recommended it to anyone anymore,

The kindest thing that you can do is to leave. This is coming from a wife whose husband had an emotional affair. It broke my heart. Tore me apart. The best thing he could have done was to leave first.<br />
Your unhappiness isn't good for either of you...or your children.

hmm, <br />
I guess she is not dat sick aftr all. but if u ask from a woman's psychology point f view i think dat is her form of non co-operative punishment for something u did/said long ago mayb, or mayb ur promises f a gr8 life to her and inability to fulfill it due to watvr circumstances, dat's makin her act dis way. she puts vacation ideas into her kids' heads s a means f hinting t u to get d money, mayb ur child's happiness wud motivate u enuf, but it dosnt. so if it doesn't wat does she do...she lets d kid know in a vry subtle way who is responsibl for der dreams not being fulfilled. if i am thinkin right, a li'l more financial success can turn ur marriage around.

WTH What kind of language was that. Ebonics!!

I drove my Dad to the hospital the week before he died at age 80, my "Mom" wasn't feeling well enough to come along, she visited twice the week of his deadly illness, they fought, even on his death bed.....they fought all of my life, I was always on Dad's side because Mom was relentless, uptight, nagging and demanding, she would have been happier with someone else, and so would he. They hated each other FOR 62 YEARS.....please, for everyone's sake, leave, don't die a tired unfulfilled old man like my Dad who had worked himself to death, staying long hours, in order to stay clear of my Moms demands and whining. If you are a good Dad, the kids will love you and honor you. They see the real truth anyway.

I don't know, how ill is your wife, is she ill or depressed? I would meditate each day about this, get up early, and listen to your thoughts, write about your thoughts if just sitting with yourself isn't meaningful for you. It's a big decission, it's worthy of deep thoughts, your answer will come. I would also talk to her, be bold and be honest, if you leave, at least, she won't be caught off guard, she will have some warning. If you hate her, what are you proving by being there with her, you need to be honest, and if you must stay in order to keep a roof over your head, then, at least, lay your cards out and agree to live separate lives under the same roof. I hope this is some help.

There is one problem with people, especially women, saying "grow a pair and get out if you are so unhappy". The courts are on your side, so you have far less to lose in a divorce. <br />
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Often in a divorce, the woman is seen as the victim of the "big bad man". I think this is because women are much more adept at telling people how men have hurt them, which paints a much bleaker picture than men can come up with. <br />
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Men are routinely screwed out of custody rights and their ability to support themselves when they choose to divorce to "be happy". I have heard of court cases in the news where the man was ordered to pay MORE in child support and alimony than his actual pay. Happiness, eh? <br />
Unfortunately, for many men, a divorce is not the road to happiness but the road to a sad, regretful and penniless existence. For every woman dealing with a deadbeat dad in a divorce, there is at least one sad divorced man in a ba<x>sement with a bottle of booze, a picture of his kids, and a handgun.<br />
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This hangs over men's heads in a divorce, so it is not always as easy as "growing a pair". Sorry for the rant, but people with no clue saying that being happy is as simple as leaving really bug me. Sometimes there are other considerations.


Respectfully, you are the exception to the rule. Sure, breaking up a household is going to cause financial stress for both parties, but how often is the woman ordered to pay alimony or child support? Men routinely lose rights to property and portions of businesses that they came into the relationship with. I never said that what I described happens every time, just very often.

why do men pay alimony and child support ????reason is ......&gt;normaly it is the men who make more money..... and the women normaly have custody or bare most of responiblity of the children in a divorce.... that is why.... and women still get paid less for the same typ of work men do ..............

but there are women , who are the bread winners and in a divorce have to pay out....

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God bless ya man. I am in the same boat. Funny how people say "leave" when they have no idea the consequences.

Man I feel you. I really can't stand my wife n I'm 28 yrs old. She's a real sneaky person who has a serious bipolar disorder. I don't know what to do. If I was you tho I would leave like I am thinking about doing. Try to get custody of your kids.

Try and get her to kick you outta the house under threat of her calling the police to come and remove you, (a legal tactic used by wives in Nz), then dont go back! Its a bit rough at first, for theres no easy way outta this, but you will addapt and be legitimately out of it. Then find one of these gorgeous EP women to hook up with!

Have extra marital affair...Nothing wrong in it...look for a her...have sex with her...Make your affair as a secret...At some point of time when you don't start showing interest to your wife she will come to you...When you make her understand indirectly that you need her no more she will surrender her to your feet that...


Hey Guys,<br />
I dont know how long you knew these women before you signed over you lives to them, but it sounds like you didnt know them all that well. I have a great wife going on 20 years now; before we got married, she KNEW THE RULES. Period. I told her her mother/family would never interfere in our lives, and mine wouldnt either. (I actually had to limit the time spent around both mom-in-laws due to their critical nature.) Sex is not an option; it is mandatory. You withhold from me, I'm going out and getting laid. Not that I dont understand her being really tired now and then or if she is sick, but these stories I hear about guys going 6 months without action is bullshit. Oral? Oh yeah. Backdoor? She likes it that way. Also made it clear we are BOTH contributing to this household financially. Any major purchases should be discussed beforehand. We will split the household chores somewhat equally. I don't expect her to trim trees, mow the yard or wash the cars, I do that man-crap. She does the laundry, the vaccuming and all the kitchen stuff. If once in a while she is just too tired to cook, thats fine, I will take her out for dinner. She deserves it for being such a good wife. I truly enjoy every minute of her company. She will do virtually anything I ASK her to do; yes, I ASK. I knew this woman 5+ years before marriage, and I made sure she was with the program beforehand. Guys, get all this stuff straight BEFORE you sign up for 40 years of torture!

im just waitting for the sweet embrace of death be strong my brothers we are all in alose lose situation

Tell her exactly what you think of her, maybe that will let her reassess her behavior. But seriously, if she isn't what you want, tell her. Sometimes the truth hurts, but that's exactly what we need.

She sounds depressed but I can't figure out why she doesn't enjoy sex?

What is it with women who stay at home and do nothing all day? I don't understand this. My husband and I have a deal. If we both work we both share household duties. If one works and the other doesn't than the person that does not work does the cooking, cleaning and errands. I think it's fair. <br />
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As far as her health is concerned.....she can take things slowly. Do a little housework and then rest. Do more housework and rest some more. I once had to take care of myself (on my own) with a fever of 103F and this is how I managed. That and a lot of Tylenol. <br />
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I think you wife should have a separate bank account for discretionary goods, groceries, etc. That way when she runs out she runs out. And maybe you guys can do a less expensive vacation than what she has planned.<br />
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But really, is it worth being miserable so that you don't have to split the assets? Maybe you can find a way of leaving her without going bankrupt. Consult a lawyer.

Why the f*k are women postig here? Must you haunt every male ont he planet and allow them no refuge - we don't care about "your side of the fence". Stop making EVERYTHIGN about you and what YOU need and YOUR interpretations of wht men should and should not be like or do!


Dude do what I do- I dont beg my wife for sex- I do the housework spend time with my kids and ignore the fat *****. Then whenever I get a chance I go **** some other woman or go to a ***** club for a night. You need to get a second job too, and keep that money in your own account. Keep a stash. Time to fight. The only way to win is with a smile on your face.

Debt Consolidations

Cagedrat, <br />
<br />
Sorry for all your trouble. But please do look into sociopaths and narcissists. That is who you probably married to. My ex did not have sex with me for six years. Then we did it twice then never again. I divorced him 3 years later. These people have no conscience. That can't feel like a normal person. The more you want intimacy the more destructive they become. If I was you my sanity is more important than a nice house and toys. The first husband was only in his twenties and blamed me why he had to work. i worked but he did not want to. Enough said for now.

i feel you. Im in about the same shape,. but get this, I got all the money! More than I can use...and it only makes it WORSE!!! Because im with this miserable shrew and I cant divorce her on account of my kids, and Ive got all the toys and a nice house and I hate my life,I ahte every minute because its all a sham, I m stuck with this girl I married only after a few months and she tricked me about how she is. She knew it too. I am a fool, I dont deny it, so no one needs to rub it in, and I wouldnt if I were you, you shouldnt make fun of someone elses issue or chide and lecture them because it can happen to anyone, I went to a top college, top law school and etc, people at work think im brilliant, but Im a dumb fool look what I did.


I hear ya, it is on both sides of the fence. What I learned was my first husband was a sociopath. Yes he tried to even kill me. Then the second was a Narcissist. Google Narcissists and sociopaths even the term bullies especially in the work place. That is the problem today. See they can mirror your qualities become exactly like you then after you are hooked and on the bait being reeled in they change and they project who they really are onto you. Been there done that. Also in the dating scene. It is/was atrocious finding a sweet caring man. I finally found him.

Surely you knew how she was (re: the religious stances on intimacy) before you committed to her?

A man dies twice in his life.<br />
Once when he gets married. This is supposed to be celebrated because it the beginning of a life long torment. <br />
The second when he physically dies. This is mourned because it is beginning of eternal peace. <br />
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Moral of the story: Men are not supposed to live or die happily

I think somehow we all married the same wretched wench

jeeze just leave her..i know what its like my only escape was sleep my wife was awful ...i just had enough so now am divorced and the happiest i've been in a long time! don't worry about being screwed in the divorce finacially what is more important or happiness.

Wow. This sounds so frackin familiar (yes, I'm using Battlestar Galactica here...I'm a dork, it has become a pugatory in this marraige hell). My wife has a master's degree and WILL NOT go back to work! This is one of the least sexy things I can ponder. I am married to a child-woman who insists on being taken care of without contributions of any kind. Pleasuring myself has gotten real old, and I started chaffing. Internet **** has become as mechanical as watching Animal Planet, and so I've been given into habits like yoga and kickboxing to manage some modicum of release. I feel you brother, and if I find a solution in the approaching months I will post it here.

This is just another story, I've read hundreds of them on this site and other sites. I just want to put an answer on this story that stems form a question that has been posted on EP. The question was<br />
"Why do husbands cheat?" WEll the answers are in all of these mean vicious. lazy good for nothing wives as described in this story.

If I didn't laugh I'd cry. So similar.

I feel for you my ex was like that after i had our child he didnt want any kind of se x , how many wifes feel like you do you are describing my ex he didnt want any thing to do with me after i had our child he moved on . guess i was tanted to touch . oh well his loss

I am truly sorry for what you are enduring. I have had friends like this, and I could hardly stand to be a spectator to such horrors. I cannot imagine what you endure...pobracito!

hello men....there are over 500 posts of women hating their mother in laws and disowning their husbands family entirely. They think they are protecting their children and they feel their husbands should stand up to their own mothers (causing a rift) to let their wives know that they are loved. Please read and comment. there is not one man's point of view on this matter. Please join it.

that's cuz wives think their families are far more superior than their husband's families even though its all the same. my wife and the women in my family do the same bull and sit around and bad mouth their in-laws. its disgusting!

Dang, minus a few details, I could have written this myself. I guess it's nice to know we are all not that odd, our condition is common.<br />
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What stops us from leaving? For me it's the financial hit, and I do love my 2 kids. By all acounts I've read, divorce is an incredible destroyer of wealth and savings. <br />
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If only marriage were, say a 5 or 10 year contract. If it was worth renewing, great. If not, let it expire. Here's hoping we see something like that someday.

What is this doing to the kids? What is it teaching them about what society expects from future adults. Kids need parent guidance to, for what is needed to survive in this world. Sounds like your wife is all about her and she isn't caring for anyone but herself...if that!!! I would leave, and start teaching your children what a real parent does.

It's amazing how many evil women are actually out there manipulating there husbands,denying sex,spending what little money we have. Its just unbelievable what we have to put up with,and they have no remorse in totally mind jobbing us men.Try garlic and silver,or exorcism.

I too was caught in the same plight...I stayed for 24 long years..Had good sex until marriage...Why is it women change the words I do to I don't. Shortly after marriage she became frigid, then lazy and controling..Somehow we got pregnant..I can almost tell you when and where, sex was that scarec...I stayed and tried to make ago for my daughter...After the x stole my daughters college savings account, I had to file to try to recover it...Lost it all and about everything else. A white middleclass, dependable male does not want to get a divorce in Texas...You have no rights.<br />
I did get out with my pride and got a smile back...<br />
After seven years of being single, I remarried to a warm and loving woman....<br />
Well guys it happened again....I said I do, she is never in the mood...always tired, no libido...Not even on our honeymoon...this terrified me...the same way my firse marriage started....<br />
I am in my early 50s, I do not have the time to invest in another sexless marriage...We have been married for 10 months...I too have told friends not to marry. I too did not listen...<br />
What makes them go frigid after marriage?<br />
Frustated in Texas

you are rigth i was told not to and here am i miserable jajajajajajjajajajaj.

This sounds EXACTLY like my situation as well.<br />
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For those of you wondering why we don't leave, the reasons are as varied as we are. There's the fear of losing our children, financial loss, self- worth issues, etc. Then again, some of us took our wedding vows more seriously than our wives did and are committed to trying to make our marriages work.

you no balls that is why your wife walks all!! over you! it's better to be alone than take that crap! get your balls back!!

are you married to my mother in law? heh. <br />
sorry, your wife just sounds like the description of my husband's mom. <br />
i can only imagine what it's like. sorry :(<br />

Did the traits get passed down the line to your wife as well or are you a lucky one?

no guy ever listens to that advice,I didnt either .We think its gonna be great,sex whenever you want ,fun ,and theyll stay beautiful forever .ha gods cruel joke! I too wont leave my kids,but her forget it !

yes brother our kids need us.

It's NOT ABOUT staying young and beautiful and comparing wives to **** chicks, gypsyblu. Mostly what I'm reading is VENTING about laziness, boring sex, and frivolous spending. Right? This is a place to vent guys! You're unhappy in your marriages for VALID reasons! I'm sorry about your frigid wife, foolwithnomoney. If she has no interest in sex and doesn't even WANT to have any interest in it there's so little you can do :( Marriage counseling won't help. She may have poor health, but her frigidity has nothing to do with that. You're her husband; you can complain. I see why you're unwilling to leave, so vent to your friends or whoever else will listen whenever you need to.

I'd suggest a large ego given that you're trying to associate yourself in a generalised sense i.e you represent all women. I'd suggest this is not true and by visiting this very forum, you my dear my in fact be an outlier?

crush sorry we dont stay beauitful forever.... but guys dont either.... u all have bought into those air brushed mags, ideas of what a female should be, young and beauitful all her life ........

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Why are wives so blind to their own flaws that they're willing to do nothing about it? When I come home from work and start picking up her socks (yes, she leaves socks on the stairs when she comes home), hang up her jacket, let the dog out, start doing laundry and put something on the stove for dinner while she's either watching TV or playing on my computer, I feel a 'little' bit jaded that she's so ******* lazy. I'm tired of all this, I'm tired of being the one trying to reason with her but end up losing whatever argument I start. It's bullshit is what it is. Then she tells ME I'm the one twisting her words. What a foul, wretched existence I live in. This squalid hellhole that I willingly signed up for in the first place is truly my own undoing. I'm unhinged, I can't even talk to her I'm so disgusted and revolted at the very fact that she wants to control evey litttle aspect of our lives.

Oh Lord, it sucks to be ALL of you. OK so u wont like what I am about to say, that's ok, just put me on your hit list of bi**hy women. GROW UP. Lord you only get one lousy shot at this life so CHOSE to be happy. Don't scapegoat your wives because they are not perfect and remember at one time you did love them. TAKE responsibility for your own happiness. IF you hate your wives that much, than more than likely the feeling is mutual. So what are you going to do. STAY miserable and BLAME it all on her, OR grow a pair and get out. YIKES usually I am not this brutal when I make comments but sometime, myself included, we have to realize that the only person we can change is ourselves, that we TEACH people how to treat us and yes even in a lousy marriage BOTH parties are responsible. INDULGING in pity parties over the relationship that SHOULD bring you the most joy, is simply not worth your time. WORK to change it OR leave, someone will value you for everything you have to offer, but if you get TOO bitter, that other person who could bring you great joy, won't go nar you with a 10 foot pole.

INstead of you talking all your **** why dont you see this guys love their families and they are willing to live miserable so they can be next to their kids. THis guys deserve a thanks for being there for their kids and those fat free wilys, shamoo cows ( wives )

im sure the guy isnt in the best shape either ............ geszzzzzz get real ! u guys look at **** mags to much and think all women should look like the air brushed models ..........SORRY GUYS WE DONT AND NEITHER DO YOU

I modeled recently and my wife doesn't touch me, this logic can't always be applied, sadly. Perhaps he isn't in great shape but here's one, if his wife is sick all the time, I bet she refuses to go see a doctor or take meds.'s amazing that so many people are cemented to their floors and have no ability to move!! What is it with you people?? It sounds like your wives truly dislike you...they won't have sex with you, put you down, spend all the money, do absolutely nothing all day...hmmm...who are the slow learners??

The ways she treats him comes from issues within herself, it doesnt mean necessarily that she truly dislikes him..this answer is a little blunt and rude and lacks understanding in my opinion.'s amazing that so many people are cemented to their floors and have no ability to move!! What is it with you people?? It sounds like your wives truly dislike you...they won't have sex with you, put you down, spend all the money, do absolutely nothing all day...hmmm...who are the slow learners??

Oh wow I did not know that my wife had a twin. It's almost as if you've been videotaping my life - wait is this the Truman Show - Is someone watching me right now?? It ain't her cause her lazy *** is in bed - where she's been since she decided to go postal on me - oh wait that's for the bipolar thread...sorry....

I've been watching your show ^_^

I feel your pain. My story is not too far from yours

damm brother i hear ya!

damm brother i hear ya!