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Praying For the End of Time..

I hate my wife. I find myself saying it tourette-like.  So far I'm only whispering, but soon the volume will increase.

I have none of the horrors in the other stories. My wife is faithful and she understands the need to spend less most of the time.  I still hate her.  She is utterly frigid.

Sex? Too religious to use birth control, too poor for more kids.  Oral? A disgusting sin.  Kissing? Just plain gross. I'm only allowed to touch her if I'm rubbing her back, feet, or head.  *****. 

Can't divorce her.  I'd miss the kids and what little money there is.  I have no desire to be a middle age loser who lives in his parent's basement.  I prefer to be a loser with his own house - a small scrap of dignity.

She watches more tv in a day than I do in a month.  Poor health often keeps her in bed, but she is always tired.  Hard to sleep if you're up to 1am watching crap.  Idiot.

When I come home from work, I start cleaning.  Her poor health again and yes, she is home all day.   Hey can you change it to channel 6?  I lost the remote.  Damn her.

She wants to go on an expensive vacation.  I'm raiding that account just to pay bills.  She's building up this great dream of a time in our kids' heads.  She knows we don't have the cash.  How many times can her credit card get refused for that to sink in?   I try to downplay it, point out that we may not be going.  The kids just roll their eyes at me. 

I tell anyone about to get married not to do it.  They don't listen, of course, neither did I.  Fool.

foolwithnomoney foolwithnomoney 36-40, M 90 Responses Mar 21, 2007

Your Response


Love the song... Paradise By The Dashboard Light.

Have you considered that she might be depressed. It causes one to be tired all the time but an insomniac at the same time. Weird, I know. Treatment for that isn't too terribly expensive if it is caused by a nutritional deficiency like vitamin b12, or hypothyroidism. It can be more costly if she has PCOS or sleep hypopnea. Well worth getting her treated.

She probably needs to be held, kissed, and cuddled with even though sex isn't on her mind. She's worried about the future, even if sometimes it doesn't seem like it. The vacation is her wanting to get out. She doesn't like the situation any more than you do.

Kids are not easy to handle all the time, and being cramped in the basement, she probably doesn't feel like she gets a break from them. For her sanity, take the kids sometimes, so she can go for a walk or something.

As far as the tv, do you have cable? If so, get it turned off. If not, unplug the tv and feign ignorance as to why it doesn't work. Maybe she'll get up to check on it?

I don't understand how sex can be boring. Does she just lay there? I find that my spouse likes me to thrust my hips up while he stays motionless. Oral is slightly gross, but I clean him off, and we're good. Don't let him *** in my mouth. It just doesn't taste good, and the texture is not great. He's okay with that. We discussed our sexual likes/dislikes and compromised. Have you discussed the sex with her? Maybe look online for info about sex and show her? Not ****, just stuff that you'd like to try. She may be inclined to give oral if you give her oral. I don't like it, but I'm told many women do. And usually they don't like it until they 0rgasm.

Tell her about pulling out if she's worried about kids. My husband pulls out, and we try not to have sex around the time that I'm ovulating, about two weeks after my period. Usually easy to know because my husband says that I'm extra in the mood then. He doesn't like to sheath it, preferring to go bareback. We don't do hormonal bc because I don't respond well to it. Not fun throwing up all the time. And we're not getting snipped because we might decide to have another child. Pulling out has worked for 3 years and counting now. We don't do double sessions because he still has ********* on him. The only thing that we worry about is pre-*********, which is why we don't do it close to ovulation time.

Fully understand though in my case it's just the kids keeping me there.think you need to lay cards on the table and tell her to start being a wife.

Never pray for the end of (your) time. Pray for the end of HER time.

"Can't divorce her. I'd miss the kids and what little money there is. I have no desire to be a middle age loser who lives in his parent's basement. I prefer to be a loser with his own house - a small scrap of dignity."

In a nutshell, that's my life to. I admit I'm a loser for chosing unwisely. It's caused a life of utter disappointment

Yeah my wife disappoints me too - almost left her a couple of times in the last year. She's got her flaws but not as bad as the stories I'm reading in this forum. Maybe you just need to go fishing more and just let things turn to **** even more if that's the level of mediocrity your wife is on. It's a disgrace when married women let themselves go it shows a lack of self respect and disinterest in life. No woman wants to be fat and ugly...and the more she goes that way the more bitter she gets towards the world. Angelina Jolie is a great role model for young women I say - although I bet she's one for talking back too much. I thought she was a bit too career oriented in the film "Mr and Mrs Smith". She could have stayed at home and cooked the dinner a bit more and supported her man I reckon.

I feel like I have found the right forum. The problem with my situation is that I share 50 % of the blame for our disfunctional relationship. I decided to become close to the exact opposite person of my ex-wife and found out that I need someone more in the middle. Now the woman that I "love" has me "trapped" with all the comforts of a perfect home minus the mutual respect and love. The dogs get more love than I do, and what I don't like is that they don't have to worry about being spied on in creative ways. This posting is being monitored with a key logger! HA! and I don't care. Mind control and dominance only work on someone who actually cares. Wait until she finds out that my creative ways are a little more subtle. When the person standing on the higher rung falls there is a lot more time for gravity to make an impression.

I hate my wife as well. she let's her 16 year olds daughter rule my house. I cannot take it. There are days were I would rather put a gun in my mouth than to deal with her. She treats my son like crap but I have to kiss her children's rears.

The only reason I stay is because of my 19 month old. I would be miserable knowing I would only see him on weekends. I am miserable too. I cannot stand her mother who is a selfish B*tch. I can't take much more. I honestly would rather be dead than be with her or leave her and not see my baby every day. I do not know what to do? There are days when I just feel like blowing my ******* head off to escape, sad but true.

I hate my wife. The only thing that keeps me sane is continuing to do exactly what the hell I want anyway.<br />
She cannot change, and I am not going to try and change myself if she won't.<br />
My dad was right that women are simply selfish, never mind, I'll use her to sprout a few nippers and then **** off when they are older.

Right on I will hold on till my girls understand and then I\'m away.

My situation is very alike. We get into fights all the time over everything. She is never very affectionate and I am always the one to blame for every thing. Whoever said marriage is 50/50 was dead wrong. It is 0/100, with me taking the blame and receiving no love 100% of the time. I'm sorry and I feel for you.

Wow, I thought it was just me. I don't know if I'll ever leave because of the kids and the money, just like everyone else. I can say this, if I do or god willing she leave's me, I will never marry again. I don't understand why a ring is the symbol of marriage, it should be a set of hand cuffs

I d/n why people get married. I think it should be abolished in in all 50 states.



"I have no desire to be a middle age loser who lives in his parent's ba<x>sement. I prefer to be a loser with his own house - a small scrap of dignity."<br />
<br />
You sound like my friend Danny. He married a hot girl, was always boasting about the hot sex he was getting from her etc. Now, fast foward 2 years his life has been reduced to this.<br />
<br />
1. No sex (she became a born again christian 1 week after marriage lol)<br />
2. Two kids, and these kids are the annoying little f'ers you wish on your worst enemy.<br />
3. Works overtime to afford house 2 trucks etc.<br />
4. Wife put on 40-50 pounds, is ugly and wears jogging pants all the time. She's not hot no more I can tell you that.<br />
5. Watches TV all the time.<br />
6. If not watching TV obsessed with having little house parties with her friends.<br />
7. It looks like he's aged a good bit too.<br />
<br />
He told me ... He would give anything to have my single, childless life again. He told me to never ever ever get married.<br />
<br />
I visit him in his little nightmare home from time to time to remind me of the horrors.

My feelings this morning exactly. I too am praying for the end of time and the end of this S&&ty marriage and the responsibilities that go with it. Unfortunatly, I think the bad karma follows us into the afterlife.

I'm kinda torn here here I mean I have a great deal of sympathy for you because I feel no one should be unhappy and trapped in a bad marriage but I believe your wife must be very depressed And I've always been told there are no truly fridid women that a great lover can't cure. The problem is men stop trying after a few years of marriage usually don't try as hard, we can't get our rocks off just by pleasing you alone not trying to be mean. I'd be happy to give you some tips. life is short and everyone should be happy by my name you can see that I am not but sex is not a real struggle for me so maybe I can help you a bit.

I understand brother. This problem is more rampant than you think. And yes you are willing to pick up something (some say this enable) if you don't then the other group says you are not helping. Then if don't pick up then she will let it sit for days. Between a rock and hard place. The question for me has been why? One answer I have is that they can. For many reasons. The next issue is how to get around it. Please keep your children with you as much as possible. One to train how not to be and other is to give you some help. Even a 5 year old can help pick up a piece of trash. Then use this time to make more money. then take a breath and take your next step. Good Luck

You should join the group here i live in a sexless marriage. It has over 26,000 members. You will here plenty of stories like yours and they will offer plenty of meaningful advice.<br />
<br />
The advice i offer you is seek out a Good Divorce Lawyer find out your rights than plan your exit strategy.<br />
<br />
Stay Strong & Good Luck

So what has ended up happening with you?

G-d I think I am married to your wife.

Hmm... if you need response from the mass of the web, I'd say you're in it thick- looking for a stroke of kindness instead of manning up and dealing with an obvious issue (what would have happened back in the caveman days?).

wholly **** - two seconds on and ... gag me

I hate my wife, too. She's a *****. Hang in there, bro.

wow thats really bad. im so sorry

OMG, so glad I'm not a guy! I'd prob be stuck in the same HELL as most of these men! Poor saps!<br />
There should be a rule that they make engaged couples (no matter what type of upbringing they've had) watch/and or live with married couples who've been together for more then 10 yrs or more, so they can understand that all the B/S they were taught about how "wonderful and beautiful" a marriage can be is usually only great for the first couple of years, then the kids come along and things go down hill from there. Engaged couples are never told," wait until she has a child and gets fat and loses her sex drive"...engaged couples are never told, "wait until the money problems start happening...wait until he starts drinking alot to make up for the fact that he is no longer "into you", and finds his secretary much more appealing. The engaged couple is never told about when the wonderful, blissful feelings of being Newlyweds wears off....and reality sinks in: he farts in bed alot and drools on his pillow....she has the morning zombie breath ,crusty snot eyes and crazy bed head of a homeless person....he sh**s in the toilette and thinks the horrible smell and size of his turds is the funniest thing in the world, even funnier when it disgusts his new wife....she has an annoying habit of coughing up morning phlegm and grunting alot afterwards....he picks his nose while watching tv (an old habit he never could kick...he HID it well when the couple were dating, but now....hey she's living under the same roof now!)....she constantly stares at herself in the mirror, which keeps her locked up in the bathroom for HOURS, making the couple inevitably late for everything.....he doesn't realize just how bad his BO is and refuses to shower more often....and they both are horrible in bed, (both have had better) but lie to each other anyway about it's because...hey, 'for better or worse', right? <br />
I sincerely feel for you guys who refuse divorce because of the kids. I've known men who have done just that.....waited until the kids were older and off at college before filing papers. Let me say something...those kids already know how miserable you are, no matter how hard you try and hide it and "pretend" to be the "oh so happy cookie cutter family". You think you are sparing your children, but they can see right through that charade you and your wife are pulling. They aren't dumb. They see their friends parents doing the same thing...or watching their friends parents getting a divorce. They know all the signs and what to be aware of. Its stupid to pretend to be happy and/or satisfied when you are truly not. All you are doing is cheating yourself. <br />
So, all you married guys out there....was it worth it? <br />
The only "happily ever after" is the one you make for yourself. <br />
Sooo glad I'm not a guy.

what about the guy getting a beer belly...losing ur hair and how ur penis doesnt perk up as well as it use too ....and oh how u never want to go anywhere just sit in ur big chair all day .....

I made the big jump,and i am separating the crazy *****,everyone around me thinks i am an *******. I`ll be the happy ******* at least,turned out my wife might be "Borderline" (99% sure),guys if your wife is sucking your life out of you,it`s not a relationship anymore,you need to seek some advice and talk to someone.Do not underestimate your wifes,most of them are manipulative *******,watch out.My wife spent more time telling me how bad i was and made me feel guilty for the way she was. really guys life`s too short to be putting up with someone because you made some vows years ago,promises can be broken,we are only human!

Whatever the circumstances, this is the raw material of your life. Work with it, take from it, modify this or that, add to it. Build something with it. It's in your hands. Do something; it will not be done for you.

my husband always wanted to find flaws in me, made fun of me infront of his friends, honestly i visited his work this evening to get some money for groceries and he didn't see me enter the room and i heard him say to his friend " omg ur gf is worst than my wife" and when he saw me, he repeated this again and was laughing and i didn't react, just got the money, did groceries, came home cooked dinner for him and he didn't say thanks or sorry or nothing and slept in the living room!!!! what would have happened if i reacted in front of his friend, he would have hated me more because I had opened my mouth in front of his friend and he wouldn't care to think WHY? so what was the point of reacting, may be he wanted me to react this way! and was shocked to see after all this humiliation she didn't react!<br />
<br />
I wanted to say that why don't you support your wife if she is unwell? and tell her that i am there for you and don't worry! instead of feeling that you have to do everything. Why don't you tell her that we will try and fit in the vacation some other time! <br />
there are different ways of handling things! not that you start hating her and make it more difficult for you!<br />
women love to be admired and treated nicely ;) and men must learn that if you handle them the right way you can mold them how u want them to be ;)<br />
<br />
Stay cool, and be positive! think about nice moments u have shared....not why u dislike her! and keep finding bad things ;)<br />
<br />

Well men i to live a life of hell to i have ben with my whyfe for over 23 years and all i do is work every day some weeks six days plus am on the road all the time mean while my wife lets my 15 year old have beer party's plus my daughter has tolled one car all ready so i put a stop to all of it and i am a no good S.O.B.I have had a back operation had to beg my doctor to go back to work i got to take pain pills so i can even try to work thank god i am a boss or i could not no way work [Construction] and because i take pain pills i am a drug addict all i do is try and make a honest living now i got throwed out of my own house that i payed for the payment was set up that they took $700 a week out of my check before i ever saw it yes a week now i dont only live in a hotel 5 days a week now i got to 7 days a week what should i do please help...the bad thing is i dont drink i dont do nothing but try to be nice and a good husbend

I've been married for 18 years, together for 20, and we've had sex once or twice in about the last 9 years. Why? Well, for starters, it's BORING!!!!!! How many times can you f*** in your life without getting bored???? I don't care how spectacular your *******'s the same old same old...and I just don't care if I ever have it again! I'm approaching 50 now. I'm already done with menopause. My husband needs to lose about 50 pounds...I need to lose about 10. In our younger days, I would try to be open so that we could have a good sex life, and I would tell him some things I liked. What I got back was "You're too picky"...when I suggested we tell each other stories about what turned us on, he told me to go first, and when I told him one scenario his response was "That is so lame!....blah blah blah blah". So, you know, you can just forget it! Oh, and by the way, stop handling me like a six pack! And when I go to bed at night, which is always an hour or two after he does, DON'T grab my breasts! Geez, Louise! Can't you just gently hug me, the whole person???? Do you always have to stick your hands on my breasts or between my legs? For cryin' out loud...I would constantly grab your ****, but then you would think I wanted sex!!!!!!!

yes eulogia, I know what you mean by grabbing breasts, my spouse does the same when he walk by me..... I don't get a sweet kiss or a gentle hug instead he grabs MY BREASTS....... guys if u are reading THIS..... us females like sweet kisses and gentle hugs also ...........

I hear you! How many times did people warn me about marriage. I ignored it, brushed it off, not for religion or morals, but as a fool does. I thought i was different. My time came, i feel in love, 3 years later i got married, 2 years after that we want to kill to each other, but now there is money and property and little ones to consider, and we are trapped neck deep in a big pile of hate, misery, disgust and fear. What a fool was I! The M word is dangerous. It kills love. It ruins your life. If i could go back in time and give myself one piece of advise: Never Get Married, NEVER!

Lol it's like u r describing me:)<br />
I don't like to have sex with my husband coz he is selfish ,<br />
Been married 3 years and I can count the times that I actully enjoyed it, I hate it now it's just not worth the effort , think that kissing is gross coz he forgets to brush his teeth sometimes , I am sexually deprifed but I don't think about it much and try to be happy and I love my husband most of the time .. :d <br />
I guess that's the difreenc between men and women <br />
U r too selfish