My Wife Needs to Go.

I met my wife online back in August of 1997 about two months after my divorce.  She was from Northern Ontario and I lived in the Detroit area.  We met in January of 1998 and hit it off.  She was a student and decided to move to Windsor Ontario which is just across the river from Detroit.  It was about a 30min drive so we began dating.  We got married in November of 1999.  We now have 4 kids together and up until about 6 months ago I thought things were pretty good.  She decided to track down a guy she used to chat with back when we began chatting.  Their chat back then was pretty sexual in nature and it almost seemed like it did not miss a beat when she began talking to him again.  When I found out about it I installed a program thats logs their chat conversations.  They talk about how much they missed chatting with each other and about how much they would love to **** each other if they could ever meet.  She claims it's only chat and does not mean anything but I don't buy it.  I think that if he lived in town they would have by now.  I would love to be able to leave her but the only thing that is keeping me from leaving are the kids!  I just wish she would make the decision to leave because I cannot.
Gonzo616 Gonzo616
36-40, M
8 Responses Apr 7, 2007

You guys should go to counseling. What she has done is cheating but, it also makes me wonder if you have made her feel the same at any time? If you look at **** or chat with other women, you will make your wife feel inadequate and push her away. Women will eventually seek attention from another man if, there heart is not with Christ. Hopefully, you guys can both acknowledge your wrong doings and take some ownership. Then and only then can you work on things. Trust me, marriage is a beautiful thing when it's done right.

that is terrible and sad. you have a means for separation. see a marriage counselor together. oh, and have you talked to her about this? ask her how would she feel if you just had a boatload of **** just lying around. i know when i found out about my husband secretly watching it, i was crushed. i was thinking he was mentally cheating on me, which is the same thing i think your wife is doing: mental cheating. that is not good.

YOU NEED TO TALK TO HER. LET HER KNOW THAT SHE IS NOT BEHAVING LIKE A WIFE. TALK TO HER ABOUT HAVING INFIDELITY AND HOW IT IS NOT WHAT A WIVE DOES. YOU MARRIED A PERSON YOU THOUGHT YOU KNEW BUT YOU DONT KNOW HER ANYMORE. TELL HER IF YOU EVER CHEAT ON ME WE ARE OVER. TRY TO WORK IT OUT WITH HER BUT IF YOU CANT TRUST HER YOU SHOULD DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY. CONTINUE TO LOVE YOUR CHILDREN. LET THEM KNOW IF YOU EVER DECIDE TO LEAVE LET THEM KNOW WHY...PRAY TO GOD AND ASK HIM TO HELP YOU...

Thats what you get for meeting her online, what do you expect. Ok maybe nobody else will say it, but you men kill me with this crap. You know the saying, "you are what you eat", you are what you do and you and your wife and everyone else who has this Cyber relationship disease need help. It's called "get a life". Reality ---Cyber are too different things and maybe you havent waken up to reality yet!

your right this is not nothing,its an emotional affair,very hurtful and disrespecting your relationship,even if she stops,it will be hard to trust her again

Oh Lord the internet can be a damn deamon. Well she has not yet PHYSICALLY screwed him, but as the man said, IF she wont stop this pathetic behavior, because it HURTS you, and that should be the ONLY reason she needs than she most likely is having an emotional affair with him, and speaking as a women, an emotional affair can be deadly to a marriage. Tell her IF she loves you she will respect that this behavior must stop as it HURTS you, and as love goes, it is not suppose to hurt. IF that isn't a good enough reason, than sadly cut and runnnnnnnn. Sorry if that sounds harsh but life is too short for this nonsense, you deserve to be HAPPY.

Yo brother, Man it seems like your girl is on the cusp of cheating. She just hasn't had the opportunity yet. You already know that if "chatman" happened to be in town visiting an old buddy, your wife's stink would be all over him. I feel you about not wanting to make the decision but you know you could be happier and we are not getting any younger. Good luck and look at your situation WITHOUT your heart!!!

Look buddy, I read what you've been going through and as a man who also has constant disagreements with his wife I must say you need to "man up" in this position. Right now she doesn't feel like what she's doing is wrong. So you need to illustrate to her how she'd feel in your position. If that doesn't work, you need to just lay it out there. "If you love me and only me you will respect that this man your talking to makes me feel uncomfortable and you have no reason to include him in your life." Come on bud, if she can't understand that then you need to talk to a good lawyer and see about getting yourself custody. If she hasn't cheated yet, she will soon enough. Talk is how everything gets started and if there talking it's only a matter of time. <br />
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-just lookn' out