Trouble With Wife

I read one of the posts about the horrible wife. I wouldn't say that I hate my wife, but we have lots of fights and it does get physical at times. I moved out for 24 days and I returned because I wanted us to give us a real chance. Actually I left in the hopes that I would get something sappy from her like "hunny i need you, or I'm miserable w/out your or let's make this work". I didn't get any of it and I still came back. She has a problem with my family, parents and sister, who visit maybe couple of times a year and stay no more than a few hours. She has given me an ultimatum, she says she doesn't want to raise a family here where I stay. I said I can move to a different county or anywhere within a 20 mile radius, because I have family and friends here. She says she wants to go far far away, because she is unhappy here and feels that my parents interfere too much, they used to call once or twice a week to see how I was doing or ask me to visit them and have a cup of coffee... I would never see them if my wife had a day off or if she was home, I would only go if she was out or at work, she had a problem with that as well. She has lots of good qualities, such as cooking delicious food and cleaning, she's a hard working woman, but she makes me feel like crap. Constantly telling me how she makes more money than I do, how she's a 1000 times better than I am, how she would find someone if she had to. I worked a couple of late nights and came home 3:00 / 3:30 am and she was nice enough to get up and fix me something to eat. So qualities like these make me want to stay and I know she works hard, but she doesn't like my friends, only the friends who are mutual friends. I'm lost, I do love her but I feel like I cannot talk to her or connect to her emotionally, she's a wonderful human being but she's very very very difficult to deal with. She's like a stubborn child on steroids and we've been married 9 years, I feel like I cannot accomodate her anymore but at the same time I feel like if I walk out, life would be worse and I don't want to ruin her life. I'm lost and I don't want to do counceling because I was unemployed for over a year and the 1st thing they will tell me is that "you didn't work" that's why your relationship took a toll. I'm lost..I do love her but she's very bitter. When my friends are over she caters to their needs and attends them wonderfully, when mine are over, she won't even greet them at all. We're always fighting, part of the reason why I moved out was that we kept having physical fights and she was provoking me to hit her, but I couldn't do it and I wouldn't. I've cried some nights and wished I was dead some nights. I'm lost I really want this to work, but I didn't miss her much when I was away.