Same Story, Different Chapter

So where do I begin?  My wife is a compulsive lair.  She lies about things that no person would think worth lying about.  About 3 weeks after our marriage and about 7 months of no lies what’s so ever (as far as I know) she lays a big one on me.  I mean a real whopper and I get so upset I throw her out of the house.  About 2 hours after doing so I get a knock on the door.  It's the police, "Did you hit this woman?"  I respond, "NO, we had an argument and I asked her to leave." Well, she signed some papers and I was off to spend the night in jail.  Three weeks later I get a call from my attorney telling me that the state isn't filing any charges and I can rest easy.  "They had a problem with evidence, there wasn't any", he said.  I received a second, third, and fourth phone call that same night all from friends and family telling me that I've made a commitment and that I need to let my wife get a second chance.  They told me things like: your first year is the hardest and she will change if you give her the chance.  All points which melted my heart and very compelling.  Well, two years later there is no change, although I haven’t had to spend anymore time in jail.  I suppose that is a plus, but when that is your greatest accomplishment in marriage something is definitely wrong.  She has other problems than just telling tall tails though: swearing NEVER cleans up, doesn't listen to me or she'll just tell me what I want to hear, has no respect for authority (law, religion, parents, or work).  The best way to describe her is that she's five years old.  I married a five year old, she's 25 and she acts like she's five.  I'm a year younger than she is, but about 30 years older.  She actually just got fired from her 5th job in two months today.  She asked me if I was mad, and I said nope, I just won the family pool.  I had my money on this Friday.  We're up $200, which is more money than she's ever contributed in the past 5 years to our relationship.  Bottom line, I can do better.  I'm in touch with my lawyer now and we're strategizing a defense to get full custody of my son.  If I can, she won’t be in his life at all and maybe he'll get a little taste of happiness when he's older. 


onebrother onebrother
22-25, M
1 Response Apr 13, 2007

It sounds like you are doing the best you can in a CRAPPY situation, but I do have one question for you, i guess it is just food for thought. Although this women is a nighrmare of a wife, is she unfit as a mother? The reason I ask is because if she is NOT an unfit mother, than do yourself and your child a favor, don't cut her off completely as a parent, as hard as that may be. IF she is not unfit as a mother, than in time your child may seriously resent you from keeping them from their mother. SHE is obviously inadequate as a spouse, but like it or not she is the mother, IF she is deemed unfit as a mother, than OBVIOUSLY keep your child away from her, but if she is not than you might want to rethink it. My ex and I were not suitable for each other as spouses BUT he is a phenomenal father, he was scared to death that i would take our sons away from him, well to do that would for me, to rob my sons of an excellent father and in the end i believe they would grow up and have HATED me for doing that. As I said just food for thought!! HANG IN and GOOD LUCK!!