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My Wife Changed For The Worst

I didn't meet my wife till I was 30. We were both in the same business
so we had a lot in common. Se was always interested in the details
of my life, always asking questions. I cooked a lot and she liked that
and so did I. We got married after 2 years of dating, in 2001.

Almost as soon as we got married things changed. She became less
and less interested in what my thoughts were or what happened at
my job. She never asked questions anymore and seemed not interested
if I talked about almost anything. I soon stopped cooking becase she
said it 'stunk up' the house with food smells. So we ate out a lot and
used the microwave for fast foods at home.

She started being critical of everything I did. If she dropped a plate
and it broke, that was fine. If I did it, a capital crime had been committed.
She had a set of rules for her and another set for me. If I mowed the yard,
it wasn't the way she wanted. If I loaded the dishwasher it was wrong.
If I vacuumed it wasn't the right way. She is always on a diet and yet
has gained 40 pounds in the past 10 years.

She'll talk to me for an hour about what happened at work today at her
job, as soon as I start to talk out comes her laptop and she starts a video
game, not hearing a word I say. If we take a long car ride somewhere,
she either reclines her seat and takes a nap, or sticks her face in a book
to avoid talking. If I say I need to talk, she'll say fine as long as its not
about this or this or this or that. Which leaves me nothing.

We haven't had sex in years, why bother. All her 3 sisters have exactly
the same marriage we have. They treat their husbands like crap, ignore
them, sex is gone, they treat them worse than the hired help.

I feel like I was tricked. She purposely pretended to be somebody else
till we got married, then dropped the pose. She was married before
and her big complaint was he ignored her. He didn't at first, but over the
years he clammed up. I completely understand, thats what I do. My wife
makes me tense, she's always critical, so I don't say much anymore. Its
to the point where she disgusts me so much I have a hard time looking
at her. No kids, I'm unhappy and have to get out. I'm not sure what she
is, but she can't be happy either. But our marriage is so much like all
of her sisters marriages she probably thinks its normal.

So many women seem to be like this. Shallow and self centered. Its
almost worth it to just date them forever so they have to be nice to you.
I'm realizing I married my mother. This is exactly how my mother treated
my dad. I'm to the point where I'm fed up with women, they just aren't
worth all the hassle.
roulette202 roulette202 41-45, M 12 Responses Jun 11, 2012

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She keeps saying she loves me. But i don't know how. For her if I stay home for the family it not a big deal
If I take off from office and stay at home, she is satisfied. She always compares and trys to weigh whether I give more importance to work or her. By the way She doesn't work and has never worked. If I am in office she is under the impression that I am enjoying with people. I tell hers it's not that way but she doesn't listen. She makes a dozen calls a day. If I tell her I am in a meetings, she replies saying I do some stupid work and am always in stupid useless meetings. This makes me very angry. I tell her it's my job and she should respect that.

When I talk to any lady she says I am a dirty person trying to impress her. I am 40 and I am too old for that but doesn't listen. She spoiled my reputation with my brothers and parents. She has this feeling I have an affair with every lady I talk.

I started feeling lonely though I have everything in life.

She ha no interest in life. I tell her to do some reading. Socialize a bit with friends, show interest in life but she doesn't. No interest and absolutely no interest in anything. We therefore have nothing in common to enjoy.

Things change after marriage. Have the same experience. I go through an emotional turmoil almost every day.<br />
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She has lot of complaints on what I do. When we sit together with tea or coffee and start to talk, very soon it's ends up in an argument. She starts the conversation as you did not pay electricity bills water bills, you didn't do this that, etc. She opens her complaint box.<br />
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When I am with my 10 year old kid talking, teaching about values, experiences, she immediately intervenes, saying, John you have to do homework, study and sends him to his room.<br />
She demeans me and shuts me up.<br />
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I help her in everything. In the beginning it was a help but now it changed to responsibility. She doesn't even thank me.<br />
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She has a loud voice and she shouts so loud on every issue that my neighbour's can hear. Sometimes neighbour's also told her that they could hear her shout on me. I am a senior management level in a reputed organization. Earn good salary and highly respected in society. This thing really kills me. She is never bothered where she is, who is around. I got insulted many a times in shopping malls, at home before maids, relatives, etc.<br />
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She provokes me so much that i at times end up slapping her. Finish one slap and it goes to all her relatives that I have beaten her.<br />
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Whenever she has any work, she shows all the love and I end up doing it for her. Within no moments of finishing it, she 8th back to her behavior. <br />
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My mother in law stays with us. She spend all the time with her and most of the times doesn't even acknowledge my presence. Her father expired after marriage and I took the responsibility to take care of her mother. It's been 8 years we are married and for last 6 years my mil is with me.<br />
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My wife's doubts on me a lot. Checks my phone calls and messages. I work on my blackberry and when I am done I put it back in pocket or under the pillow. She thinks I did something and immediately changes her behavior. I have to convince her that it's just an official mail.<br />
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I never had any affairs and love my wife. But all these things had dropped my love towards her to ground zero.

I am a woman and I get this way too. There is no excuse for this behavior at all. In my opinion I truly believe men and women were not meant to cohabitate together. It makes everyone miserable. Throw in step children and all is doomed. It's a hard life. Move and when you least expect it you will find the right one. Good luck.

I would give anything if my husband would talk, I have to start all conversation, and even think for him. I don't think an original thought has crossed his mind in 34 years. Won't go into great detail, but I'd simply just leave call it a wash and move on. Fact is they never change, look at the mother, that's what you'll deal with give it a few more years. Don't let this woman suck the life out of you, when love turns to hate its a fine line and the ole Winchester starts looking good to you. Move on and fast

Dear fellow men,<br />
I think we should all go for marital counselling because we are all passive-aggressive. We all hate responsibilities. we are not the ones pushing babies out of our vaginas. lets give our women some credit.

Yeah.. no kids? That makes the decision so easy. I'd get out but that's my personal opinion.

Oh, wow, no kids? Leave and start over! Marry someone who is satisfied with just being with you!

The truth is she has taken advantage of your good nature. For so long you have tolerated her incraesing bad behavour towards you without offering up any consequences for it. She now thinks she runs the house and wears the pants.<br />
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I suggest you draw the line become the man again and not tolerate this crap. For what its worth i feel for you and hope you can do what needs to be done. If she wont toll the line its time to leave.<br />
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Stay Strong & Good Luck

I never liked Muslims and never will, but as far as women go, they got it right. Shut up and walk two steps behind and if your shoes even squeak you get switched! Very effective. The sad thing, is that they too are ruled by the furry patch of expensive real estate that all women have. Yes, that can take the smartest man and turn him into and unintelligible idiot and has done so for eons. Like a friend of mine once said,"P---- is a most powerful thing!

'never liked muslims'? Chancery1 you are a piece of ****

I think in my golden years I have women figured out. First, they may have tremendous book knowledge, but most have no common sense and are not very original in thinking.Next, they are never as good a company as a man friend even if you try to make them. Add to that the fact that nothing in God's green earth really pleases them like nurturing a child. Then they are fairly worthless when the children move out. Worse still they look at you as worthless too. They are supposed to be a help meet to man, but most are so selfish, they try to help themselves the most. It is a rotten deal for the man, and I advise young men to think twice about a lifelong commitment.

I was just thinking this yesterday. When I go out to dinner with my wife, all we talk about is her. She has zero interest in me at all, its like her life is all that matters. I know thats why married men have girlfriends, because the girlfriend at least pretends to be interested in the man and thats ten times better than he gets at home. I much prefer the the company of a male friend, at least we can exchange stories, the conversation is not a one way street. And my wife uses things I say against me, she will make snide comments and cutting remarks if I reveal too much vulnerability about myself. So I have to watch everything I say. Its to the point that my wife is the last person I'll tell anything to, because she'll just use it to 'get' me now or later. It sucks.

In the pecking order, its her family first and foremost, then her friends, then her work, and I come in at dead last, way in the back of the line. I'm fascinated when I see her with friends at how friendly and animated she is. I'm so envious, I wish she was just a fraction of that way with me. But she thinks she has me all sewed up, she can act anyway she likes and has to give it no effort. And she cares what her friends and family think and she doesn't care a whit what I think. How wonderful for me...

Its actually becoming the NORM for men to avoid marriage altogether. I've hit 36 and basically I've assumed that marriage is simply not going to happen. They are all ******* crazy.

We don't know they're manipulative before we marry them, duh. They don't act this way when we're dating, they're all loving and interested in you. Then, after the wedding and honeymoon are over, they think all the work is done and they can treat you any way they like. Why men keep going back for more after they get divorced is a mystery. They have to learn the same lesson over and over, I guess. The problem with most women is they're very self centered and the world revolves around them. It doesn't.

But if you KNOW that all women are exactly the same, why get married at all? If all women are self-centered, why get involved with one? I'm sorry for being self-centered... But that still doesn't answer the question burning in my mind. What can I do to fix it? What do I need to do to be a worthwhile human being? Or is there no hope for me because I am female?

I can't believe this. I come here to talk to men and some woman is nagging me. We don't KNOW women are this way until we marry one! Then come the kids and they have their claws into us and its too late. Men aren't psychic, we don't instinctlively know women are selfish witches, we have to discover it the hard way. Why your husband doesn't like you is not my problem, I have enough of those with my own wife.

its a social norm and you also have breeding instincts.

problem is that everything about marriage, and sex relations has become so abused and contorted- nothing about it makes any sense at this point. Women should be put back in their traditional place.

I'm sorry all of us are so worthless. Is there anything we can do to help? Have you tred telling you wife what you told this group?

You must be joking. I don't tell her anything unless I have to. She uses everything against me and will twist things so she is always right. Her sister got a divorce a fe years ago and the tricks she used to get a new husband were amazing. She was always smiling and gave him so much sex he was in a constant state of befuddlement. Now she never has sex and treats him like he's dog crap stuck to her shoe. She trapped him, it was sobering to watch.

I have to ask, then, why are you married if you think all women are manipulative, horrible people? What is it that she would need to do to make you happy? What would she need to do for you to despise her less? I'm really trying to understand why men hate women so much, but still get married. My husband hates me, but refuses to tell me why. He also refuses to let me leave. I didn't use any tricks that I know of to trap him. I apologize for all of woman-kind for our mere existence. I wish I could help.

Yes, there are women like that, roulette is right, and men do not know, if they did, they would not marry them. And women like that, give women a bad name.

Your wife is a critical person and sounds pretty unhappy, really. Maybe it is her picture of what married wives should be like, since her sisters are the same way. Prob modeled after their parents on some level?

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