My Wife Is An Albatross

As a teenager, I thought Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet was a romance about undeniable passion. Now I understand it's a tragedy about immature fools... That's what I was when I got married 10 years ago. A dope inspired by my testicles to say and do the most illogical things. I thought when I met her that I'd never be able to live without her. (I had it almost right, if you remove the 'out'). Some of the standard examples: finding a surprise $10k on the credit card statement (shopping makes her feel better about herself), tantrums during holidays because one of my (or her) family members offended her, inevitably ending in departing in the middle of the night to stay at a hotel... Plates smashing on the ground at my suggestion that we eat something 'cold' on a 100 degree day (and I'm the chef)... She slapped my son in the face forcefully when he was 5 for pulling her hair... Pulled my daughter, 13 at the time, out of a parked SUV, landing on her shoulder blades in the driveway. And worst, when she got angry with our 4-year-old, she took scissors to his teddy bear, removing its arm. (she later sewed it back.)

I used to spend sleepless nights looking out the window debating the consequences of splitting our family. I have no interest in the woman with whom I live, other than the fact that she's the mother of my children. Whatever I do about her will deeply affect my innocent kids though. I know because I was a child of divorce, as was my brother, who's still reeling well into adulthood.

Yeah, I fantasize about running away, or buying her a one-way ticket far from me, but what I most care about are my kids. They deserve a home with two parents.

The little one goes to college in 13 years. That'll be when I'm done with this. Until then, the regretful man will serve time for decisions when he was a foolish youngster...

And for all of you who think you can't survive a hopeless situation: watch me.
Damarc88 Damarc88
36-40, M
2 Responses Jul 6, 2012

Either way, your children are not dumb, they know your unhappy. Its going to effect them regardless. It might not be as much damage as you two splitting. I am happy my mom and dad split. My dad was cold for some reason. Me grabbing my mothers arm begging her not to stab my father was enough and he just had this smirk on his face. Sometimes I wonder was he really my dad because he seem like he lost it. I pray that things will get better but I would suggest a counselor for your wife. Just someone she might can talk to.

Just dont be surprised if their marriages are not good either

I deeply appreciate the sincere and candid feedback I've received from kind people. Update: I have engaged counseling, and also child welfare services. Plenty is documented. At this point, she can either get well or not. If she can become rehabilitated, great. The kids can live with their mother. But if any other incident takes place, the divorce case will write itself: I'll take full custody and give her supervised visitation.

Whether my family or any other, I don't see it as easy to simply split up kids from a mother they love and need in their life. But as a last resort, sometimes it's necessary.

We'll see. Thanks again for the thoughtful comments from all and I will send another update soon.

No they deserve a home with sabe parents. Do you really want your kids to grow up believing that her Abusive Tantrums is a normal way of life?<br />
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Seriously if she did that to my kids i would of kicked her *** so hard she would be mute. Mate why dont you gather all the evidence of abuse report her to child authorities and the police than file for full custody.<br />
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Stay Strong & Good Luck

Sorry should read sane parents

Kenny Loggins wrote a song called the Real Thing, where he was saying to his daughter how love should teach you joy, and not the imitation that your momma and daddy tried to show you. Teaching children that relationship is jail, is not good for them. Get free and find joy, it is something that will help them find their own joy, all of their lives.