My Wife Is An AlbatrossAs a teenager, I thought Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliette was a romance about undeniable passion. Now I understand it's a tragedy about immature fools... That's what I was when I got married 10 years ago. A dope inspired by my testicles to say and do the most illogical things. I thought when I met her that I'd never be able to live without her. (I had it almost right, if you remove the 'out'). Some of the standard examples: finding a surprise $10k on the credit card statement (shopping makes her feel better about herself), tantrums during holidays because one of my (or her) family members offended her, inevitably ending in departing in the middle of the night to stay at a hotel... Plates smashing on the ground at my suggestion that we eat something 'cold' on a 100 degree day (and I'm the chef)... She slapped my son in the face forcefully when he was 5 for pulling her hair... Pulled my daughter, 13 at the time, out of a parked SUV, landing on her shoulder blades in the driveway. And worst, when she got angry with our 4-year-old, she took scissors to his teddy bear, removing its arm. (she later sewed it back.)
I used to spend sleepless nights looking out the window debating the consequences of splitting our family. I have no interest in the woman with whom I live, other than the fact that she's the mother of my children. Whatever I do about her will deeply affect my innocent kids though. I know because I was a child of divorce, as was my brother, who's still reeling well into adulthood.
Yeah, I fantasize about running away, or buying her a one-way ticket far from me, but what I most care about are my kids. They deserve a home with two parents.
The little one goes to college in 13 years. That'll be when I'm done with this. Until then, the regretful man will serve time for decisions when he was a foolish youngster...
And for all of you who think you can't survive a hopeless situation: watch me.