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I Am Sick of My Lazy Wife

We've been married almost 20 yrs.  She isn't the same girl I married.  We have 2 beautiful children who I love to death.  My wife can't stand to spend 5 mins with either of them.  This summer break is already a nightmare!  She has a part time job, works about 10 hrs a week and does absolutely nothing around the house.  I do the laundry, cook (when we eat at home) make the kids lunches, do the grocery shopping, take out the trash....  This is on top of my 50+ hrs a week at work.  If I leave the office 5 mins later than I told her, she has a fit.  She works 3 half days.  You would think at least on her day off she would fix something for dinner, that's a laugh.  She spends her day napping and playing cards online.  To suggest that she do something with the kids, "it's too hot, it's too boring, there's nothing fun to do"  Honestly, she complains more about being bored than my teenage daughter.  She is on anti depressants that her old doctor said he didn't think she needed.  She now has a new Dr.!  Then she complains that she is too tired to cook, play, do anything but lay around the house until I get home so we can go out to eat.  Sex? I remember sex - vaguely.  When we do have sex (about every 2 to 3 months) it's like she is treating me.  She lays there until I'm done, then its off to sleep.  Once when I was trying to convince her to have sex, she really said, "we just had sex last month!"  And she was serious.  Occasionally she will get a cleaning bug up her butt, but of course it is always late in the evening or on the weekend. (when I am there to help)  She has gotten so lazy, it's driving me crazy!  There is too much to post at one time.  I will keep you posted as she once agains proves "I Hate My Wife"!

jumpship jumpship 41-45 105 Responses Jun 20, 2008

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Man, I think I'm heading down that path. I work, help out with all the household chores, some less like laundry and dishes, but more with yardwork, cleaning bathrooms and toilets, trash, fixing things, auto maintenance. We have 4 kids and one on the way, I play with them, help out and spend time. My wife stays up late on the computer, then claims she is too tired to get up in the morning. Almost every day the kids are up and hour or two before her as she likes to sleep in, with nothing to eat, making messes. I don't get breakfast, or even a lunch most of the time. The laundry pile on the couch never, ever, goes away! It's infuriating, and my work clothes are always the last to get done, if at all. I tell her I can't wear wet or stinky, dirty clothes to go meet customers! I have to spend hundred of extra dollars on eating out for breakfast or lunch because she can't make me a lunch and I often times don't have time when trying to get out the door. The floors are always disgustingly dirty, unless I clean them up or yell at her to do something. The little kids dump stuff on the floor, and she will let it sit there for days until I finally have to clean it up. I don't know if it's that she's lazy, she watches the kids and homeschools them, and does a lot of putting out fires, but she just won't get ****** organized! She won't make the older kids clean up their messes or help with dished or laundry. She won't hire a maid (if I didn't have to eat out so much we could afford one). She won't go to bed earlier so she can get up earlier. She won't do the laundry during the day, so she waits until late at night so she loses sleep, and the clothes sit in the washer and mildew, so my clothes stink when they are just cleaned and I have to wash them again.And physically, she refuses to exercise (but she's not fat), she won't bathe every day, doesn't regularly shave her leg or arpits. And her face! She has a really pretty face, but she refuses to take care of her complexion. I have to ask to squeeze her festering zits because she won't. I have to ask her to pull the wild hairs on her chin. I gave up some stuff to buy her a face cleansing kit, but she refuses to use it. Or put on makeup to look nice. I'm at the point now where I don't want to kiss her face, thinking about kissing all the pimples that she could easily do something about disgusts me. The fact that she's got to keep her selfish routine and let everyone else get the short end of the stick is making me lose respect for her. I should have a pretty young wife, but with her ugly complexion, frumpy clothes she wears, and refusal to pretty herself up, even when we go on a date once or twice a year she does the absolute minimum and I have to remind her to take a shower, put on some makeup, use perfume, and wear something nice. I'm losing my physical attraction to her.Oh and we have a home business that I'm working night and day to build up. Money is tight, and she refuses to help one bit. It's a home ba<x>sed business so how much easier can it get? Oh you are home all damned day, and you just couldn't find time to call someone to make a sale, after they have already said they wanted to buy something? Now that is lazy.Anyway bro, like I said, I feel like I'm heading down the path like you are. The only two things I can think of are 1) Counseling or 2) Make enough money so I can pay other people to do all the S**t my wife should be doing, so she can be a lazy, real housewife of wherever.

I realize this is an old post, but this situation is far from unique. For any young men in similar situations who happen across this page, I want to say something: You need to get out, and fast.

My sister started out the way you describe your wife, and has only gotten worse. Several years ago, she was everything you describe. Here is how the next 10 years panned out for her, so consider it a glimpse into what may be in store for you:

She was 30 with 2 children and a Master's degree. She'd quit work 2 months into her first pregnancy because her pregnancy was especially difficult, as noone else in the world had been pregnant and survived it before she did. At this point, she started online gaming. Well, not really gaming, as she was pretty terrible at that, but she spent time in online games chatting and trying to woo high-ranking guild leaders. She did the webcam thing and struck up intimate relationships with a handful of these men in their early 20's. She also got into a cycle of trading the family car in for an upgrade in order to get the "no payments for 6 months" deal. She did this 4 times until there was nothing left to upgrade to and they couldn't afford the car payments. Then she went off to meet one of her online boy toys and got pregnant and had his illegitimate kid. In doing so, she maxed out her husband's credit cards trying to acquire an apartment to run away with her new boyfriend in. Surprise surprise, her boyfriend found out she was pregnant and fled - stopped taking her calls and emails, refused to see her, etc. When she was finally forced to confront her husband, she cried depression and said she wanted to kill herself. Classic manipulation move. This allowed her to deflect the onslaught of well-deserved insults raining down on her, and instead garner sympathy. She got put on anti-depressants, naturally. The car upgrades, apartment lease, and medical bills were enough to put them in bankruptcy and foreclose on their house. Her husband decided that he still loved her, and also that it'd be best for their 2 children if he worked it out with her. So he did. He took on this 3rd child and loves and spoils it as if its his own, as if nothing happened. From that point forward, she made it clear that she had no interest in her husband, and she walked around the house openly vowing that if she had the money, she wouldn't be there. She surpassed 300 lbs. She'd always had at least 6 cats, but she upped that number to 10, then 20, then 30, then added 10 dogs to it under the guise of a "home business" where she intended to breed and sell them (and obviously failed). Her hoarding didn't end with animals either. An addictive personality is addictive no matter what the addiction is. She started accumulating junk she'd gotten "on sale" everywhere, until every room in their house was lined and stacked with junk, mostly with computers and personal electronics devices. Her husband started to FINALLY get overwhelmed by it all. He wanted to put a stop to acquiring more animals and objects they couldn't afford or clean up after. Feeling the slightest pressure about being a leech, she turned to extreme couponing. This justified her sitting around on her computer all day, because she was "researching deals." If you know anything about extreme couponing, you know it is not worth doing. When you see women saving $900 off a $1,000 grocery trip, what they fail to mention is that to achieve that, she has to work as much and often more time than a full-time job takes, AND that many of those coupons are purchased online, returned from mail-in rebates that cost money to mail, that the gas expended to drive around to retrieve all the coupons costs half as much as you save, AND that every couponer is a major hoarder. If your family only goes through 4 bottles of mustard in a year, there is never any reason to maintain a cache of 40 bottles of it. So not only does this new habit justify her sitting on the computer all day, but it also justifies her hoarding habit. It's the perfect plan. After blowing $500 on their 3rd deep freezer and installing a new shelf next to the living room TV to store the 60 boxes of vitamins nobody eats, her husband started to get sick of this too. They begin to speak of divorce. Then what happens? Uh-oh! She's pregnant! What a perfect excuse to sit on your *** all day again! And so she did. The last time I visited, this 4th child was 1 year old. I stayed for the weekend, and my sister only bathed the first day I was there. She smelled like rotten vag the rest of the time. The children wore the same clothes all 3 days and never bathed. They didn't even brush their teeth? Well, actually, they didn't even HAVE toothbrushes. They were all covered in bug bites. Some of the female dogs were in heat, and there were blood drops all around the house from one of the leaking dogs. The 1-year old baby, covered in dirt and bug bites, was crawling around on the floor, through the dog blood, and eating dog food off the ground. Her response? "It's just dog food, it won't hurt him." The converted garage room I stayed in contained a pile of broken kid's toys that was approximately 10 feet wide, 10 feet long, and reached the ceiling. It was also soaked in cat urine, and the ammonia was strong. Because she used washable diapers, but didn't clean them out before tossing them in the washer, any clothes washed in her machine came out smelling like baby ****. She literally cleaned nothing, cooked nothing, fixed nothing, did nothing with the children. She slept until 2pm every day, didn't bathe, and sat around on the couch watching TV show after TV show, periodically screaming at her children to bring her snacks. Her husband worked 50+ hours a week, woke the kids up in the morning, fed them, and drove them to school. After work, he went to the gym, came home, fixed things, cooked dinners, did what little cleaning he had the energy left to do, and went to bed unsatisfied, and also with an oxygen mask over his face (because of the stench and his allergies to some of the pets). Her one and only responsibility in the day was to pick the kids up from school. At one point, her husband had to go out of town on business for 3 days, meaning she also had to take them to school in the morning. The kids missed all 3 days of school, because she wouldn't get up early enough to take them. When confronted by her husband, she said she wanted to homeschool them anyway, because they weren't getting a good enough education. Ah, homeschooling, the classic excuse for eliminating one more daily duty of driving the kids to school. She "homeschooled" the children for just over a year. This involved absolutely no interaction with the children at all. No teaching. No anything. During one of my visits, her oldest son actually took it upon himself to try to learn some math, and asked her for help with a math book he'd retained from his last 4th grade class when he was in public school. She couldn't figure it out, and told him to ask his dad when he got home. I offered to take a look at the math. It was simple order of operations. I taught it to him. I'm not sure why my sister thought she would be capable of educating children when she herself can't even perform 4th grade level math, but needless to say, her children were forcibly put back into public school. Oh yeah, and they were placed 1 year behind where they would have been had they stayed in public school in the first place. And that 3rd child? Yeah, that one will be graduating high school at the age of 20, going on 21. Fortunately, she finally got into kindergarten at the age of 7. Now? Just when you thought she couldn't be any more horrible, my sister kicked it up a notch. She became 14-year old girl style obsessed with some famous actor. So much so in fact that she now lives in a land of delusion where she walks around the house talking about the dates she's going on with her movie star lover. She still spends all of her husband's money, except now most of it is on posters, paintings, action figures, statues, clothing, and other items depicting her new imaginary boyfriend, to the tune of $500-1,000 a piece by the way.
Why he hasn't left her at this point is beyond me, as is why he hasn't simply resorted to treating her like another child and just given her an allowance, instead of giving away all his money to her. The way they live is atrocious. They've been reported multiple times to the humane society (since they routinely accidentally run over their own dogs and have bouts of parvo kill off some), as well as child protective services (neighbors reported that her children were locked outdoors naked, filthy, and covered in bug bites so as not to bother her indoors).
People don't change. They may change their habits, they may change their lifestyle, but the essence of their being, at their core, never changes. A lazy, leeching, manipulative devil woman will always remain as such, and will only get worse over time if not forced to face a harsher reality, such as the prospect of losing her husband and his money (though alimony laws in this country are so ******, there's no way he can get away from her without spending the rest of his life paying for her anyway).
I know nothing about you or your wife, but I feel 100% confident that she will only get worse. Your best bet is to start shifting your lifestyle to be more independent. By that I mean you no longer share joint accounts. You control your own money. You still provide for the family, but you do it yourself, alone. This WILL **** her off. She will be outraged that you aren't handing over money she feels entitled to. You should also invest in some nanny cams. She WILL try to manipulate you by threatening to divorce you, tell the judge that you abused her, and walk away with alimony. Install the nanny cams. If you can find a way to encourage her to work, do so. If you can gather evidence that she's unfit to raise children, do so. She WILL do her best to rake you over the coals, purely out of spite, by aiming for the sky in alimony and child support payments from you.
Disregard the indignant women here who are sympathizing with your wife. Another thing I've learned over time is who these women actually are. They are my sister. They are my sister's like-minded friends. They are not human. They are slimy manipulative creatures who hate men who think women should be entitled to own men like slaves. Do not listen to them. Listen to me. I feel for all the poor saps who landed such devil women and, out of love and hope, continue to be strung along. It's truly sad. Women are dangerous creatures, especially once you give them the slightest taste of how easy it is for them leech off you. Start working on getting out as fast as you can.

Heres what i have to say to all you idiots men have feelings and needs 2 and when a woman wont fufill them men tend to look else were to find it then we are bastards for doing it but its ok for a woman to lay around do nothing cheat and be spoiled **** that get off your ******* high horse you spoiled ******* as for the poster i feel you i bareley get sex with the woman im with and weve only been dating 6 months she lays in bed spends all the money complains that shes bored does what she wants but **** what i want so yeah i know how you feel

Maybe you're just too much of a d-bag to realize that she's sick, dude. She deserves better than you. I go through the same problems, and my hubby takes beautiful care of me. I guess I'm just spoiled. I feel sorry for her, and not any sympathy for you. You are her husband and you should be taking CARE of her, not b***ing online about her. If you hate her that much, get a divorce, it might be the best thing that happened to both of you. You can find a slave, and she can find the man who can treat her like a princess.

She needs a REAL man. You're going to cry when she passes away from an illness you are ignoring, sweetie. I don't know you, or her... but I know that I am very sick and my hubby helps me with everything. Maybe she doesn't want to tell you how sick that she really is. You are heartless to not at least take her to a doctor. Her symptoms sound similar to mine. But you just go online to go on-whine. Shame on you.

He is a REAL man. How many wives would kill for a husband who comes home from his job and still helps around the house. She might be suffering from a mental illness, but that doesn't entitle her to doing nothing around the house and depriving her family of affection.

It's easy for those suffering from mental illness to become comfortable with it. I sure did. But she has to realize that she's not the only one affected by it. She has to make a conscious effort to fight it, because her loved ones can only take so much.

I don't agree u see he might still be with her because of the kids some ******* are scandales as hell u sound like one too

um hell no, he seems to have a very detailed perception i think he would have noticed if she was sick this actually happens to men and woman a lot they just give up aka mid life crisis not all men and woman do this but it happens alot and this is something you should know just by living life.

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Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too.

I am a wife of an 11 month old baby. I am taking 100 mg of zoloft at the moment. Tell you what guys, taking anti-depressants could actually make you feel sluggish. I myself is just as lazy as hell. I just had an argument with my partner earlier about house cleaning, don't get me wrong I do clean the house everyday it's just that you couldn't go into all the details when you have an 11 month old bubba who is so clingy and cries a lot. I'm so thin and I don't get enough sleep, I now look older than my mom and yes I don't have the right to complain. Because remember I am the mom I get to do all the house chores and look after the baby. Another thing is that, when I discovered that I'm having post natal depression I never knew that was the reason why I was crying, bad mood, too lazy to go out and all these crappy stuff you could ever think off. Instead of hating your wives why not try to support them and help them be back on their old selves. I know it's hard, I feel bad for my partner too everytime I get my episodes of mood swings. We do have issues we know that but we just need your support too. Please don't hate us, love us instead. xx all the best guys!

I do feel with you buddy. When i was reading your post, i saw myself and felt the same way. How have you been able to put up with her for so many years ? It's been only 4 years for us now and I am already sick and tired even so, she is claiming she has psychological problems which leads her to take some anti-depression pills. I am still in the prime of my life and honesly, i remember sex vaguely, too. You were lucky to have at least one bite of it from time to time. Me ?? Not in a million years, three months ago as far as i can remember. It is as if we changed the roles in the house. Oh man, I hate her too.

Sounds exactly like my husband. He "cant have sex" most of the time and though he does work...so do I...I am a nurse he acts like my job is easy...lmfao
He goes on and on about his, which is not anything important believe me...if I told u, u would laugh. Than at home he does absolutely nothing...on the computer constantly and blows a gasket if I say anything about it. The funniest part is if u listen to his story you would think he was a wonderful man, but I know the true story and it is such a miserable/loveless marriage that I pray everyday for god to find me a permanent way out of. I have left many times and he has managed to pull wool over my eyes thinking he will change I always took him back...BIG MISTAKE...my kids hate him and always have...he either has nothing to do with them or yells at them for stupid ****. I really wish I had never met this man!!!

I know how you feel. When my wife and I got married we were both college juniors (such a great Idea at the time!) and had a good amount in common. After graduation I started a well paying job and she decided that working part time was enough. That was seven years and two kids ago. Since then, instead of just working full time in the nursing field she went to school for, she has hopped from grad school major, to grad school major, starting but never finishing anything. She's managed to rack up $48k in student loans and a $100k+ in lost income she would have, had she just worked full time after graduation.

Even though she only works 24 hours a week, she finds it too labor intensive to clean/tidy/dust the house, wash clothes, shop or cook (or even learn to cook for that matter). I'm left with all these tasks in addition to the 46+ hours a week I work. There was even a two year stretch that I did all that and grad school. We'll have big fights about her laziness and she'll make a half-assed effort for a few weeks, but then just defaults to her norm.

For 5 years my husband felt that way about me. I was tiered, cranky, emotional, lazy and definetly had no libdo. Finally I was diagnosed with hyperthyroidism. Kinda a ****** diagnosis because typical symptoms include energy and weightloss so my husband of course believed I was making it up. 2 years later I finally had the perfect thyroxine dosage and was my old self again. Bitter at first my husband had given up on me actually making my symptoms worse but so thankful we had a deep true love that we could eventually over come those dark years and made room for way more happy years

Hi, just about the thyroid thing. I am also losing weight. I eat normal but I'm so sluggish. I'm taking anti depressants too. I am suspecting that there is something wrong other than my depression. What were your symptoms?

I really in same boat, but on top of all that he Dr gave her pain pills and she eats the like candy and is on a lying kick! Can't stand this **** anymore! I think the only reason I stick Round is cause of my kids! Hit me up so we can talk and maybe come up with some ideas together to help each other out bro, am at wits end!! 48O228OO83. Leave a message so I know its u or text. Sean

Hi guys,

I’m looking for a bit of advice on my relationship with my girlfriend.

We’re both in our very early 30s and have 2 kids (3 and 5) together, which makes it much harder to consider leaving her as I totally adore my kids. Basically, she doesn’t work and my eldest boy is in full time school and the youngest is there every afternoon. However, she keeps telling me she doesn’t have time to clean, wash clothes and do the other chores. She will occasionally run the vacuum over the floor and thinks this is enough to keep the house clean. I work a full time job doing 50 hours a week then after work I come home and work more hours and on weekends (at least an extra 20-30 hours a week) freelance to try save some money because she demands a wedding and a new car. She said if I don’t get the money together for a wedding within a year, she will leave and she will take my kids with her back to her home town, which is over 100 miles away. The sex is pretty much none existent, to the point where I have to beg every couple of months (as degrading as it is) and usually end up having to bribe her with presents. She is a good mum to the kids and makes sure they have what they need.

I get up at 7am every morning (mon – fri), get showered, dressed for work, wake the kids up, make their breakfast, get them dressed and make their lunch. She gets up at 7.30 and all she does is get herself dressed to take me to work in the car (I don’t drive and there is no public transport to where I work). At weekends, I’m still get up at 7 as I don’t like to waste the days. She won’t get up any earlier than 12.30pm on Saturday and Sunday, which just wastes our days. I’d like to be able to take the kids out as a family etc, but she is just sooo lazy!

She tells me all the time that she thinks she has OCD and needs to keep the house clean, yet she doesn’t clean the house and thinks vaccing constitutes as a deep clean. I have to clean the skirting boards and polish the units etc.

Whenever I question this, she tells me she’s depressed etc etc. I went along with this (pardon my ignorance) and helped her find a doctor and therapy etc. This was over a year ago and her therapist ended the treatment and was happy with the progress. Yet, she hasn’t changed a bit. Whenever I question the amount fo work she does around the house, I always get the same answer “I watch your kids, I’m a full time mum, that is my job!”. And this is then followed by showing me women’s forums where they all ***** about their partners complaining about how lazy they are and that a husband/boyfriend has no right to expect any more of them than watching kids (yet they are at school mostly!).

During the day all she does is watch TV and films. I know this because she has managed to watch the entire back catalogue of a popular TV show that has 10 series in the past 3 weeks and she hasn’t watched any on an evening.

I rarely drink alcohol, maybe 2/3 times a year if it’s a special occasion and she’s (thankfully!) the same. She hates me going out with friends and makes it so difficult to the point where I just stopped going out with them. She doesn’t like any of my friends and I have tried on so many occasions to try get her involved with my friends partners etc, but she is so stubborn and judges everyone before she’s even met them. She has no friends of her own and I’ve tried so hard to help her make friends, but she just hates everyone.

She doesn’t pay any bills and keeps the child benefit money as spending money on top of what I give her too, which can be anything from £100-£200 per month. I don’t spend any money on myself (there’s none left unfortunately). The last time I bought a new tshirt was about 2 years ago and then it was only about £4.

I’m at my wits end. I work so hard to provide for my family and feel like a mug and trapped. I can’t leave her because she will make it a living hell to try to see my kids, she’s already told me so.

Am I the bad guy here? She really makes me feel like I am.

Do you really want to marry that?

Divorce her, I mean I work a full time job, I make dinner every night my husband works hard so I make sure his lunch is made, coffee set for the morning cause I'm at work. If I am home and he works I get up at 40 am with him fix breakfast and make sure he is ready. I do laundry everyday he does help out . I have my health issues but I'm not dead yet so I try to keep a clean home it could always be cleaner I think. Sex is wonderful my husband and I enjoy each other yet we still work hard so the sex is less that's kind of sad. I still respect and love him though. Kids well they are grown I now have a grandchild and I love to hang out with her she is just a baby but I love my children and did everything for them when they were young. Tell your wife to get off her *** or you will replace her lazy ***.

you go girl, marriage should be 50/50 i like the path your on.

You are awesome! I think most men would be happy with 1/2 of what you do.

The tonic for you is “A Wife is a Terrible Thing to Waste”.

My wife is the same way, we have two wonderful kids 4 1/2 and 2 1/2 she just recently got a part time job of less than 10 hours a week where she works from home. But she always works when i am home. So I am watching the kids as soon as I get home. She does not want to do anything with the kids or together as a family unless it is going to see her family. I do all the cooking, cleaning, mowing, snow shoveling, etc. First thing when i get home I turn off all the lights that are on in rooms where no one is of course give my kids a big hug, who are excited to see that I am home, then I shut off all the applicances and things that are running that no one is using or even in the room, the tv is always running. I then clean up all the toys and messes that the kids have created downstairs then work my way upstairs. I then change into casual clothes gather laundry go downstairs and start it come back up and start on dinner. We all eat at the table, she is always upset about something. Then I clean up and do the dishes. I have maybe 30 mins or an hour to spend with the kids. I give them their baths, she refuses to do this. then Its PJs and bedtime. If I am still awake after putting my son to bed, I will go downstairs. She is ussually watching tv or playing a video game, so I am not able to watch what I want to, so I go to bed. get up the next morning and begin the same process wake up get my son breakfast. go to work ...

She has her folks watch the kids quite a bit too or has playdates. But she is always needing time alone with friends. I recently got together with my friends, it had been over 5 years since I last got together with my friends. I am not going to let that much time lapse again.

My wife is also on anti depressants as well.

HELP!!

We have been to 9 sessions of marriage counseling as well

Hi there, to be totally honest she probably doesn't respect you. She sees you more as the help in the house while she's there doing nothing! Believe it or not women want their hubby to be the Man of the house the boss!! It is one thing to help her around the house but if you do absolutely everything then she just sees you as her free housekeeper!
Sit down and talk to her and ask how she would feel if you behaved like her, but you need to have a serious face and not look sad or angry... Make her realise that she needs to wake up and her only problem is lazyness and lots of women take anti depressants when they don't need it just to have an excuse to behave like that. Sorry if I sound harsh but you need to wake up and wake her up and if she doesn't change then leave for a bit and see how she reacts.
This is not fair on you or any other person to be with someone who's so selfish to the point that even their kids come after everything else.
Best of luck

Good point, I mean I love my husband crazy. He's wonderful to me . But I do think woman need men to be the boss in the house . He is but I can ask for anything and his reply is always and I mean always " what ever you want dear " . To be honest , that's not what I want to hear from him but take advantage of it anyway . I guess you are right when you say " she doesn't respect you" I feel like that at times. To him , I'm always bitching At him and he works All night long and tired of my bitching but alway will love me , because I'm his wife . Hang on I did say I love him and I do very much . We don't have any kids together . I do but they are grown and still live in New Zealand . My husband drinks every day/ morning after work . He good when he drinks he not violent , but he loves to flirt with woman dirty on Fb games and his woman friends , I hate it he watches **** while I'm taking care of his 97yr old grand mother next door . I'm not dusty myself but I have this erge I spy on him coz my scared I will lose him and I can't fully trust his with his flirting with woman he knows . I mean she's married to for goodness sake . What am I to do. How can I let the past go and be happy with my husband . Plz help me . I need to stop bitching at my husband because my bitching is turning his sex life off :( .

And people wonder why men & WOMEN remain single and are loving it.
I got depressed reading these stories and REALLY feel sorry for the men and women trapped by children in their marriage. It is obvious from 3/4 or more of these stories that that they would leave in a heartbeat if it wasn't for the children. Imagine a life like that,being in a living hell because of children in the marriage.

Why is he watching **** and flirting with other women if your sex life is good? Have you talked with him about whether he is satisfied? I don't think he should be looking at **** and flirting at all. That is not helping anyone. As his wife, you can help and it starts by communicating. lots of women don't ask their husbands if their sex life is satisfying, they just assumed that since they are satisfied, their husbands must be! But that's not the case, and if he's looking elsewhere then you should be worried and better do some communicating. It doesn't mean you go be his sex slave, but it might mean being more sexy. Men don't like it because p**n starts do it. P**n stars do it because men like it. "It" can be lots of things. There is hope for you because you actually care and want to make things better. Lots of women just don't care.

I dont agree with the man being the boss in the house. i believe that it shud be 50/50. I am going thru the same thing. But its just that i am the female and he is the male.

Help her. I am taking zoloft 100 mg. they make me lazy as hell. Motivate her to walk or do some exercise and watch her diet. She'll get there. You guys will be alright. Don't be too hard on yourself, you're a good husband and a good dad.

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dude shoot the shrew

If your looking to validate a reason for terminating this relationship, you have it under "irreconcilable differences". Unless you've already tried marriage counseling, get a divorce and move on with your life.

thissounds like my man I work 10 hour days do all the house works take care of the dogs my daughter and his son he works a couple nights a week for a few hours and the rest of the time he is laying in bed watching t_v waiting for me to serve him dinnerhe complains that the house is a pigsty and that I need to get some something bigger for us he acts like I complain too much and stress too much about getting all the bills paid but he thinks nothing about going out and running up our bills even more for something stupid when I don't buy anything for myself I tried to talk to him about it and he gets mad and threatens to leave he acts like I'm the one that's wrong and that there's no excuse for me to complain about bills when I make enough to pay all of them and I should get plenty of sleep and he always acts like he is doing all the work once in awhile when he gets something up his b*** to do something small like take out the garbage or wash the dishes I'm supposed to praise him for itI'm tired wore out and hurt I can't talk to him I'm embarrassed to talk to anyone else and I don't know what to do anymoreall I hear is promises when he gets his big break and his big time job I won't have to work anymore I've heard that the whole time we've been together and funny how every job he sometime somehow says he has falls through he only applies for one maybe every month so I don't know how he expects to get anywhere in life he gets mad when I tell him his child can't come over because I'm too tired to watch him he promises I'll watch him you don't have to worry about it on my one day off but he in the playing in bed well I'm the one that's up making sure his kid doesn't get into anything and destroy anything I've had it I can't take it anymore I'm too tired to even fight anymore

If he is truly the way you say he is, you would be better off letting him go. Love certainly can make these relationships go on like this for a lifetime, but do you really want to live like this the rest of your life? You certainly have grounds for a divorce. If you do get one he'll be forced to financially support you and your children more than he is doing now. Good luck and God bless.

I have a sister in law that does the same thing to my brother and it makes me so furious. they have two kids, the eldest being 5 and in all my years of seeing my neice, I have never once seen her play with them. She will hold them, kiss them but for whatever reason always needs help when she is with her kids. She can never watch them alone and ******* and moans when she does. Ive seen my brother cook, clean, do all the chores while she claims she is so tired. Her job is not demanding at all. She will come to my house and let my nieces run around and turn her back and go hide in the bathroom to avoid, changing diapers or being engaged. It annoys me so much that here is this woman who decided she wanted children and now all of sudden is incapable of doing anything. Always needs my brothers help to do everything....I really want to give her a heart to heart and say you need to step it up but then again it isn't my relationship. I've seen my brother get so annoyed and frustrated it is almost at the point where it like he is a single dad - i veer on the side of communicating your issues to your wife and really try to understand what is causing her to be so lax. Also it is making a plan, what ACTIVE steps can we both make to make this situation better. Eventually once the conversation starts you both get to understand each others feelings but eventually you do get frustrated and it really is if things don't change it will negatively affect our relationship. All you can do is be honest, open and try to find resolution. Long rant but hope that helps.

I work 60 hr s a week and no love no understanding I do all the shopping and take care of my boys and have always been there for my family and yet I live like some guy on the couch and with out love with out caring. I have always been someone who cares about all he does for them.. I have been married for 20 years. I have so much to give and yet no one who wants it, what am I to do?

I scream inside as I struggle day to day to do for my wife and my boys. I get to my feet and go every day and yet I receive nothing. I am in pain both physically and mentally. My parents split up and my father dumped us yet I refuse to do that to my sons and I hope that I can hold on until they are grown and yet my self worth and caring seems to be under microscope at all times. I am made to feel that I am unworthy and a monster if I dare reveal my feelings yet I give all I have and my love is all that carries me forward in life. We lost our home and now rent and I am made to feel that I am not fit for my family and yet they are the only reason of continue to do everything. to take care of them. I don't know what to do and rapidly becoming hopeless

I wish I had a Dad like you. He left when I was a small child and I never saw him. Kudos to you. Divorce isn't bad if the parents are happier separate... As long as they're involved, IMO. Sometimes that sets a better example than dysfunctional marriage. Best of luck and keep your head high.

I married my wife 10 yrs ago we have two kids ages 10 and 12 that I love to death. ( I have been married twice before and the kids from them are grown doing very well) They are smart well adjusted kids and very active in school. Straight A school kids My wife who I believe is gay we have no relationship at all. I mean from the time we wake until she fall all sleep we have no conversation at all. If I ask a question or try to start a conversation I get a one word answer or nothing at all. We have not had sex in 6 yrs. At first I would try but not anymore, tired of the rejection and attitude that come with it. Now I am no longer attracted to her in fact she has let her self go It is discussing. She brushes her teeth maybe once a week and they are horrible so kissing is not an option + she smokes a about a pack or two a day and drinks every nite. About the lesbian thing, after we got married I notice very small changes like the way she would dress and an interest to going to lesbian club. (she says because she and her friends like to have a good time with out having guys coming on to them) WTF. I found out later that her friends are lesbian SMH. So I asked her point blank are you a lesbian her reply no " I have never been with a women" LIAR. I found lesbian videos hidden in her drawer, lesbian **** mags hidden behind her dresser so she is a ******. she doesn't work or look for work even though I have been unemployed for the last six months. My house is filthy unless I clean it wont get done. I am tired and want to leave but I cannot take that chance of leaving and having my kids living with that ****** especially my 10 yr old daughter. I don't love or like her any more but leaving her would cost me $$$. I am 52 years old ( look 40 and in great health and shape) she is 38, look like a fat *** cow that takes no care in her appearance . But here is the most confusing thing about it I want to love her.

Prozac or zoloft does EXACTLY that. Even if she were alone , it would be worse. Her house would look like a hoarders' dirty, depressing,. Its NOT YOU. Its those darned pills that she does not need to be taking. Hate the drug , not the wife. New doctor is needed here and get her off those pills .

Hi, I think you are right. I am currently taking zoloft and I'm way toooo lazy. I never regained my energy. :(

I am sorry for your circumstances. I was honestly looking up, "why do I feel so drained?" and this is what popped up. I feel sorry for you man. I am a women, I've been married to a very wonderful man for 10 years we've been together for 13 years and have two kids. We are high school sweet hearts and I think we have things going great, and it wasn't always that way. One of my issues lately is that I go to school and take care of the home but I feel so tired lately. I just think it may be the whether change here in Texas, but anyway. I could not image being like this. She may be depressed, but this is no excuse. I suffered a sever depression years ago and I literally had a nervous break down, I still cleaned, cooked, and took care of my kids because that was my job. I just remember waking up one day and saying enough is enough; I no longer needed medication, I started looking at everything I had that many do not have and I started being happy by speaking, acting, and being happy. My advice to you is to try to tell her how you feel. If this doesn't work, tough love. during my depression I started to take a lot of anger out on my husband, and to be honest, much of it was well deserved, but when I stopped giving him ultimatums and just left, he changed. He completely did a 180 because he didn't want to lose me and he knew he was neglecting to be the husband he vowed to be. It's been years now, and he and I have a close relationship and we rarely fight. If I hadn't of stuck to my guns and said enough, I deserve more, I wouldn't have gotten him to see that it was truth behind it. I know this post if from 2008, but maybe if you still need the advise or anyone else does. This is here for you. I wish the best for all of you.

It's time to set some boundaries. I've been working on this in my marriage as well. You need to start valuing yourself more. She takes you for granted, so start enjoying your hobbies and assertively tell her that she needs to step up.

Get to the reason why she isn't stepping up and come up with a plan. Maybe she's depressed? Even if she is depressed, that is only a reason and not an excuse. See if she is interested in couples therapy.

Some good reading material for you might be Passionate Marriage by David Schnarch and No More Mr. Nice Guy (focus on the behavioral strategies, not so much the theory) by Robert Glover.

I'm not married. I am convinced the problem is not marriage. it is having kids together. pure and simple. I can't leave my little baby even though she's turning into a leisure clone.

your wife is your responsibility.so housework is your equal duty and when your wife is lazy and she dont like to do any housework so u have not any option so you do all housework its nothing wrong dear. many couple have same situation and husband do all housework.u have two children and 1 wife u think u have three children include your wife is as a children after that u have not problem to do housework.

I stumbled across this looking at lazy husbands lol!! I am a women, married for 2 years, been together 7. We have 4 lovely children. I dont know if i list feel sorry for myself or not or even how to make changes as my husband always says in in the wrong not him. I basically was doing 4 jobs, him zero! He complained so i cut aload out and set up my own business which is thriving. He now works 4 hours a day 5 days a week..and come home late with a few cans and normally had a few beers from 'his hard working job'. He does nothing all day, well feeds the kids and puts them to nap but that's it. I now only work 9-5 5 days as was doing 7 days and usually 10 hours but he complained, i cook, clean, shopping, bills...everything as well as school runs and work...we have sex a couple times, he still moans for more!!i really dint know what to do, i make so many changes, have done so alot over last 6 months to try and be with him more and children also who i also love with all my heart but he still just moans and moans!!

i am a woman, im lazy, and thank god i am single.

lol...I like U being honest !!

Woman tend to be less tending these days to understand thier role in society as they can't compete with women who are acheiving more. It's not much different than what happened to the African American society after the Civil Rights movement. With power comes great responsibility. They can defend the rights they are given in words but not in actions. I am African American so i am not speaking off the cuff. Women can't expect femininity to be a softer weakness to use when they want something and then expect to be respected for their lack of inaction. Men, we must look for that higher value women we can work with to build something. not the softer lazier one that just thinks that things will happen for her because she is viewed as the weaker sex. My ex left me for a weaker black man because he fits the mode of stereotype. I do not and expected her t live up to a higher standard for my kids. Now i am looking for a higher standard women who makes me want to do more because she expects more.

Sounds like my wife. She does not tell me she is bored. I call my wife a pro gamer. She plays Bakery Story for 10 hours a day. I never have a cooked meal, clothes washed, clean house, organized stuff, or grocerys in the fridge. I do it all. I work at home with my own business. So I see all this all day long. I hate to go on vacation because I have to pack everyone up. My wife is so lazy that we went to Alaska and did not unpack till a year later because I did it......It is pathetic.