It Was Just Platonic

I can't talk to anyone about this, not even my sister who is my best friend.
Two weeks ago while cleaning and organizing, I found the receipts for very expensive flowers sent to a woman by my husband. This prompted me to check his work cell phone. Sure enough, her number was on there. There were no saved messages. However, there was another number of a woman with two saved messages.
The dates of the receipts were from a year ago. The dates of the saved messages from woman number two were also from a year ago.
I first tried contacting number one and it was no longer her number. A random person answered it. In addition, I contacted her place of employment (which was indicated on the flower receipt) and she left there 6 months ago, and also moved to another city.
I confronted my husband about the receipts and the numbers. Initially, he denied, then he tried a few stories, then he admitted that it was a big mistake to send flowers to her and they were just platonic friends.
As far as the second number, he insists it was a wrong number, but I just don't believe this. Why was this name and number still in his phone a year later? Why was it listed as a contact in the first place? As far as the conversation, it read as follows,
"Bill?" asks the gal. (I am using a different name for my husband)
"Hi," my husband
"Hi, it's me Shannon, from Kids Klub."
"Hi." my husband
"Thanks for all the advice and the complements," Shannon
"Sure, any time." my husband.
He continues to insist this was a wrong number but it doesn't really sound so much like a wrong number. There was no more than this. I did call the number and speak to Shannon and she claims she has no idea of any such conversation she ever had with anyone by my husbands name.
Going back to gal number one. My husband says he is sorry for what he did. He met her at the local store and she always provided good customer service, she would always chat it up when he went in there. She had a lot of personal problems and he gave HER advice, too. He did like the fact that she thought he was much younger than he is, it gave him the ego boost he needed. He felt sorry for her b/c she said she never got anything. So that was why he gave her flowers. To show her that she does get things from people.
He claims they never went any where, he never touched her. I want to believe this only b/c he is pretty much a home body, never having unaccounted for time away from family.
He also claims that he wasn't going around calling her. It was just the two occasions of him sending her flowers.
I just don't know what to believe. It is simply WRONG and cheating to send flowers to another woman not your wife and that you aren't just sending them to be NICE. There had to be something more or the hope of something more. He says no. He kept it a secret. WRONG, and a clear indication of him hiding something more, at least in my mind.
He admits to the wrongdoing but nothing else and that is where I am feeling really, really dumb. Do I believe someone that has compromised the trust? How stupid does his story sound?
We are in separate rooms since I found this out and I did see an attorney.
Could really use some input from others with a clearer mind than mine right now.
Thanks.


palsies palsies
41-45
2 Responses Sep 15, 2012

Its easy to jump to conclusions in your situation, but its wrong to live your life as a door mat. If the situation is so irretrevable then you cant do anything, but if you are prepaired to give him a second chance then make it clear, so very very clear that if he cheats he is on his own because you will know. Tell him how you have talked to your friends and family about this and because they have lost respect for him and want to help you, that they are more than happy to keep an eye on his movements. Get him so paranoid he wont step out of line, or leave him.

Wrong group to post but hey since your here you are being played and lied too. You dont need him to admit to anything. You have all the proof you need.

Oh and if you believe his stories of platonic you are truly dumb.