Crossroads

Hi Guys
Just thought I'd share my story. Hopefully the exercise of writing it might give me some direction, or at least someone might point me in the right direction or offer some advice.

My story is i met my wife 10 years ago, married her 7 years ago, have 2 beautiful children and im fkn sad. Basically i dont want to come home, i sometimes would rather just sit in my car after work as i dont want to deal with the crap when i get home. Where did it all start? When i met her i had just recently come out of another relationship. I said to her straight up that i wasnt really looking for someone, but generally i believe in family, meaning that family comes first to me. My goal in life was to earn enough money to have a good life and that there would always be food on the table, but we would never have a Mercedes or BMW. I dont chase money. I said my kind of wife would be one that puts the kids first, i didnt want a wife chasing a career, and i wanted the traditional family model, except that i like cooking, and i didnt want her to follow me round and do all the work. So basically just a few levels below the traditional model. By traditional model i mean, dad works, mum looks after kids, but dad has enough time for family and kids, and that i wouldnt work so hard that they would never see me.

As it turned out, she loves her work, she works 3 days a week and now this is the story. She is very commited to her job, so she comes home tired. As she is tired, i get no support and she never wants sex. When we do, there is always moaning and groaning, and im not talking about the good kind. Everything is such a big effort. I asked why she works so hard, as it makes her tired and then there is nothing left for me. Its got to the point where everytime i try to get some affection, she asks for cuddles first. I didnt mind at the start, but more often than not she falls asleep and i never get the special time. So now i know that is her way of getting out of sex. Ive addressed it numerous times.Im sick of getting rejected. We have it about once a week, id hope for say 3 times a week.
I work long hours and i look after the yard. I try to come home early sometimes to pick up the kids from kindy.

My thoughts on marriage is that you should still keep your own identify, and that together we should be stronger than separately. Ie we help each other out and cover each others weaknesses, yada yada. Problem is im always covering her, but feel im getting nothing back. She is a great mum, but terrible wife. There is no intimacy.

She has a twin sister and they text and call each other constantly. I pay the phone bills. One month she texted 300 times, ie 10 times per day. Everytime we sit down for a meal together, the phone rings. The problem is that her sister always has simple things to ask. Basically they should work stuff out for themselves instead of asking each other all the time.

The sister just moved into a house 3 streets away from mine so they can be closer together.
We used to live with the sister. Everytime we had sex, the sister would knock on the door, cause she needed help with something.

Spose im just not feeling appreciated or valued. Im doing my bit of what i think im supposed to do, ie earn the money, but still be around as kids value us just being there more than anything.

Its frustrating cause i can see if things were how we initally agreed, it wouldnt be this way.

Ive craved intimacy, but i feel ill never have with this with her as im always competing for attention with the twin sister. (she wins)

She is always having her family around, but as soon as i want to see my family, she gets all sour and grumpy. Im just sick of the one way deal all the time.

We fight a lot, and she is always whinging and talking down to me. I tell her to back off , and she chases me round the house until i listen to what she says. She kicks and punches me and goes crazy until i listen to her. It tell her to xx off and leave me alone, and then she has a go at me for swearing. Im not into hitting women, and she knows it, so she'll attack, knowing i wont fight back. One time i made a fist and she egged me on saying, go on, go on, hit me. Im like, What? crazy B.

Its just all too hard. I feel down everytime im near her and ive threatened to leave several times. Problem is i love my kids too much and i dont want to leave them, so i hang around.

Can someone relate to my story, or just tell me to harden the f up. Just sick of feeling tired, lonely and unsatisfied. Surely after 10 years we should have sorted this stuff out by now.

Thanks for listening


Fknconfused Fknconfused
36-40
Sep 19, 2012