Losing My Mind

okay maybe i just need to VENT a Little;
Here it is I have been married to her for 15 years and we have had our fair share of problems.Usually about money or her friends .I assumed that she was paying the bills for the household since i work graveyard shift at work and work alot of hours,but she wasn`t doing it very well and now i am so far behind I don`t think i can survive.
 She hangs out with her friend's and works a little job a few hours a week and does not do anything around the house at all,also over the last few months sex has became a long off memory.
I finally got her attention by not giving her any money for the bills ,since she would just blow it with her friends and closed checking accounts,credit cards etc..and we talked abit about just giving up and getting a divorce after waiting a week for her to think she said she doesn't want a divorce,and doesn`t want to drag the children thur a court battle.
Okay now here is the kicker she went and got 3 payday loans and wrote checks for them on our old account that is closed,And wants me to pay them off,I want this marriage to work but i am not going to keep getting played.
Here is what I told her she should do tell her friends she can't hangout all the time and she isn't going to be the one that always pays the bills when they go out,Start doing some of the house work,and work on the lack of sex problem maybe see a doctor about it.
Here is what she tells me  Her friends are to important to treat like that,she doesn't like housework and well she doesn't need sex at all.and that after her Doctor took out her female parts 3 years ago she hasn't wanted it at all.
I knew her sex drive hand dropped alot after our 2nd kid 12 years ago but was willing to adjust to it. but now none zero zip i don't think this is workable.
So here I am now when I told her I wasn`t going to pay for her loans and her friend could pay them for her , she said like hell they would it's my checks and if I didn`t pay  they would put me in jail for hot checks but i found out it isn`t my problem because she signed the loans and wrote the checks to them..
I just need some one to agree with me on this point.
Is love some chemical imbalance in a persons mind that makes you not have any common sense ?
Because I don't know why,but would still want to fix the marriage 
please just someone tell it's not only me that is ****** retarded
joker69 joker69
36-40, M
2 Responses May 13, 2007

Ok guys, I've read both your stories and agree that both of you chose what I politely call LOSERS. NOW with that as a given, besides the fact that there are children, AND yes i know that is a BIG FACTOR, because I have them too, but still divorced. Why the hell are you putting up with this crap???? There are AMAZING women out there that would be thrilled to have either one of you, yes I know sounds stupidly cliche, but there is a doctor who quite bluntly states that we tell people how to treat us. The mere fact that you put up with this non-sense is to a small degree your own fault (sorry I know that sounds harsh) BUT if you put a complete END to either women treating you the way she does, ONLY than will she realize that she HAS to change, OR it is over. Don't fall ino the kiddie trap, kids would rather live separately with 2 HAPPY parents than live unhappily under 1 roof with both parnts. And as the good ol Doc says, the only thing worse than staying in a crappy marriage for 10 years, is staying in it for 10 years and a day. OK so it's Dr. Phil, but hell it makes sense to me. GOOD LUCK and get out and fins the woman who will appreciate everything you have to offer, trust me, we do exist.

Joker,<br />
<br />
Man If you need someone to say I know where you are coming from I am your man. When I first met my wife she was at my apartment ahile I ran out to get something from the store. Well I left my wallet on the table and ran back up to get it when I opened the door she had my wallet open credit cards out and she was reading the balance of my checkbook. This should have been a warning but well you know how it goes. I really would love to be able to give you some advice but I can't seem to even follow what I believe is the right thing to do. I fortunately have a somewhat responsible wife. I mean she does make sure our bills are paid. It is a team effort so we both take time out of our day to make sure these tasks are done. I feel you have done the right thing in cutting her off. I mean if she cannot contribute to the marrige why should all the life be sucked from you.<br />
<br />
Good luck though, <br />
<br />
Jay