Should I Stay Or Should I Go

I don't know if i qualify to share in this forum because i don't hate her and we're not married. but maybe i should explain.

i met her four years ago and thought she was the most beautiful woman in the world. she still is. she's 8 years younger than me and has a now 7 year old son who is also great. within 4 months of going out she got pregnant and everything went to hell. she hated me for ruining her life, because she was planning to embark on a career and couldn't now because she had to take care of a baby again. see, she had put herself through college as a single mom and was afraid she would do it while working now. i vowed i would be there to take care of her and support her in her career.

well three years later and i've quit two jobs and moved to two different states. her career is taking off but i feel like a puppet. everything is for her and i'm just the guy who massages her feet at night. we're engaged and she wants to get married next year but i feel like running for the hills. at the same time i can't leave my son. he is my everything and i see what her ex goes through, only seeing his son during summer and Christmas breaks. i can't do that. i would seriously die of sadness.

so i stay. i stay and take crap from her and i just don't care. i don't think it can go on anymore but i just can't leave. i can't leave my son. does anyone here have any advice?


rantone rantone
2 Responses Jul 25, 2008

Jesus...I'd hate her too. (Sorry, not the most constructive comment but I can't help my reaction).<br />
If you're intent on making this relationship work, you need to law down the law, so to speak. It is not okay for either spouse in a relationship to take precedence over his/her partner. If anything the kid should be priority number one. Its not healthy for a child to see either parent be run down. Basically, you should tell her to stop being selfish and put the family first instead of herself and her career.<br />
<br />
**My mother was a single parent of two when she remarried and somehow managed to get a degree and a career *while* my stepfather did the same....its not impossible.**

raise the issue from time to time maybe? since you helped her with her career, maybe she can help you start your career? what was the initial plan BOTH of you?