Post

Horrible Selfish Wife... Want a Way Out

i married this person i thought i loved about 2 years back... worst decision of my life. even during our courtship we had terrible fights and arguments. But always thought it resulted due to her past experiences in previous relationships. but it wasnt, i was wrong and its just the way she is. shes has problems...

she is selfish (cares pretty much only about her needs and emotions), she has several strong traits of borderline personality disorder - childish/childlike behavior, deflection of all blame, impossible to reason with... the works. she is super-sensitive (without caring about the sensitivities of others).

ive been putting up with her **** for a while now, but im particularly disappointed now... my folks are here and despite their best efforts and mine, she doest care a damn. not only will she not speak with them, but she wont let me spend time with them either (im seeing them after several years now). she is posessive and controlling and all this stems from some *****ng insecurity of hers and it sucks. she constantly accuses me making her play second fiddle.

what really gets to me is that she is "happy" and "chatty" only around her friends and family. around mine she is aloof, disinterested or just plain rude. she picks apart everything my friends/loved ones say and do. she takes offense to everything the say or do. she makes it a point to sit in a separate room or plan parallel activities when they are around. this makes it extremely difficult to have a nice time with my friends/family. its particularly distressing because my friends/family visit very rarely - for instance my folks are visiting us the first time since we got married!

she always blames me when i try to prod her to speak with them, be nicer or do anything differently. she is overly critical of me around my friends and family. she is visibly happier when they arent around.

i cant take this anymore... im at a point where i wouldnt mind ending it all.. not just the marriage if only i didnt have people that depend on me.

thinking back... she reacts negatively to anything i like passionately. from trivial things like clothes/cars to big things like people.

there was a time when i would do anything for her... but i hate her now. hate the thought of going back home to be alone with her. hate the prospect of having to spend the rest of my life with her. marriage sucks.... but i guess all of us here have already made that mistake.

myrtlethyme myrtlethyme 26-30 80 Responses Oct 17, 2008

Your Response

Cancel

I have a selfish wife, too.
The Jehovah's Witnesses are helping me to deal my narcissistic wife.

The JWs give me love. The wife does not sit still. She interrupts and walks away from our conversations.

She stays angry for years.

She blames me for her arthritis, money problems, and says that I never am there to help her.

It is true that I don't work for 7 years, but I did try to tell her what to do with the $100,000.00 but she did not listen to me. She just spent it.

She is angry that our tenants don't pay the rent.

She does not let me deal with the tenants or to let me help her in any way.

_______

Please sir, read the bible. I keep a serious face because if I smile then my wife starts yelling at me.

God bless you.

I don't leave because I don't have money and also I will not leave our son alone with her because she will feminize him.

I teach my son Tai Chi Chuan and he is an athlete because I play soccer with him. The wife just wants him to sit still or to stay in the house and not exercise. She offers to take him to the mall, but my son does not like the mall.

I don't like the mall either.

She says that I should write here that I don't help around the house and that I don't even throw out the garbage.

I do throw out the garbage when she helps me.

I am Daniel Caron on youtube.

danielcaron72@gmail.com

Bye for now.

Wow, that sounds like my wife's twin, although in conjunction my wife now does conversations with her self and breaks out in laughter with no one around. I too have debt and we jointly own a mortgage, my wife is not interested in working and honestly she can burn water in a pot, that's how bad her cooking skills are. Luckily for us I enjoy cooking my daughter and son now hate my wife and have no respect for her as she is always on a miss trust issue with our whole family. I am only here because of the kids, the other thing she does is she takes my credit card when ever she can and has a fling I can't leave my wallet around and I have to put passwords on all things she once broke into my Facebook and told everyone what such a nice person she was using my Facebook well surface to say I had to close my Facebook account which I only wanted to use when talking to relatives I have also had to cancel credit cards. So I can appreciate your dilemmas people say just leave but I can't rely on her to look after the kids in a 50 50 split scenario but I have a high management role and I do struggle at times and I have become very tired from all this I even had a heart attack from stress last year, so at times reading these misadventures does in some ways make me feel somewhat not as unique as I nay have thought my problem was. The thing is I have never played up ever and have even pushed aside advances from other women but I don't know if I can continue to go on too much longer before I break, but I will try and hold out at least until my children are at an age where they can look after them selves then I can let go I just hope I can last that long.

You know sometimes if we decide to be extra nice to the one we think we hate so special things unexpected things take her out for a special date buy her flowers do things that make her feel special try every day to do something nice and I think you will see her attitude change. We cannot change people but we can always change how we react and treat others with kindness sometimes people soften and you will again find each other back were you were when you first met. Don't give up never give up for you might loose something that is of great value if you treat it as such. Just try it even if she at first shows no change keep at it keep doing nice things keep showing her love and she will come around.

Add a response...

I'm divorced now she blames me when she's the one who filed ... Its takes time to get your self esstem back... Im a grand father now and mine didn't want them to visit ... she would say things like I give you al the time in the world to be with them why do they half to come here ... get out and take back your life .. mine has so many personality disorders ... I cant believe I stayed married to her for 17 years ... your dream of marriage and life is not hers ...

Run for your life, she sounds like a control freak. No good will ever come of this relationship unless she get help, and that is very unlikely. But learn from this, you don't want a repeat

its funny how the media always potray men as the uncomitted ones in a relationship. Do you think any woman would tolerate what you are going through after all 75 percent of divorces are filed by women. But you dont have to take it, go see a lawyer and fight for the interests of you and your daughter fiercely before it is too late. Read the book infidelity by Michelle lynn (know it might seem unrelated to your problem but pls do) and know how bad it can really get

Wow. This sounds like I wrote this. For being married, I've never felt so alone.

My family is not really welcome in my home, or I'm discouraged from seeing them or she makes plans or needs me to do something, taking up any time I could use for visiting family and friends.

She usually leaves, sleeps or hides in a room when my family comes over. Getting her to interact with them is like pulling teeth.

Her family and friends are more than welcome and are treated vastly different than me and my family. She hasn't established boundaries with her mother. I feel like she should have just married her damn mom. Rather than my wife and I being a family and make decisions as our own family unit, my opinion is either discarded or not asked for. My wife instead makes decisions after consulting her mother.

Her mother oversteps with my daughter, and is constantly around, she tries to take over and replace me. Her opinions always being shoved down my throat.

My family has a nonexistent relationship with my daughter, which breaks my heart. The only family my daughter is really allowed to know is my wife's snobby family.

My goal every day is to not be criticized, interrogated or hassled. My actions and daily routine is motivated solely by this.

My wife works 2 or 3 days a week and complains about being tired. I just got done working 7 days a week 12-14 hours a day for over a month (definition of tired) and she had the balls to get pissed at me for not helping more around the house during that month. So I f**king cleaned the house too.

We haven't had sex in 2 months almost. We have sex once every month or every other month. Even then, it's a chore to her. There is no passion or enjoyment. Just mechanical . when I brought it up, I got quoted a statistic that it was normal for people in their 20s to not be intimate very frequently. Bullsh**.

I would leave but we have a daughter, and she has told me that if we did split, she would do what she could to keep me from getting even so much as joint custody.

She won't admit mistakes, won't hardly apologize, and wants me to go to counseling to work out my issues, because I'm the problem. I realize I am not perfect, and I have made mistakes, but at least I can admit that.

I have given her everything she wanted, when she wanted. Ring, house in the nice neighborhood she wanted dog, kid, trips, affection, everything.

And after giving for so long, and receiving no mercy, kindness or affection in return, I have become selfish and bitter. She says why should she be nice to someone who is mean, and that I'm not who I used to be. Damn right I'm not who I used to be, maybe if it had been appreciated when I was that guy, he would still be here. I never wanted to be a selfish, depressed *******.

I want out, but hope it works out. I don't know.

I can relate, I'm in the same situation!

I hear you bro the exact same thing happened to me and when she doesn't get her own way she verbally and sometimes physically abused me but because I got tired of the abuse and started to stand up for myself she left me thank God im a little lonely but its better than walking on broken egg shells all the time :)

I typed this

I understand man I am going through this right now

I am a woman and I really do sympathize with you. Some women need to wake up before it is too late. She should respect you as you deserve it. I hope everything goes well for you I really mean that. I love my husband and I would feel totally gutted if I thought that I made him feel like that.

2 More Responses

I'm so sorry that marriages are so lost these days. I'm reading these things and I'm seeing many of you men hurting, angry, etc... some of you even wishing to just not live anymore. For anyone in that situation, please seek some counseling. Change your life and circumstances by changing how you deal with them. Find out how to have a fulfilling life. It's possible even if you decide to remain with her and she doesn't change. You can change by setting boundaries in your life and in the way other people treat you.

My husband and I hit a really rough spot because I was sometimes selfish, but so was he. He fell into a depression after a job loss (while I was preggie with number two) and we had so many issues. After many more tough spots, we were on the verge of divorce when I was pregnant with number three.

But, I have to say, I'm soooo glad we didn't quit. I'm glad that we BOTH matured. We are so happy and love one another a bunch. It's well worth it to hang on there and find out how to reach that light at the end of the tunnel. We have friends from our church we attended at the time that helped us walk through our issues. My advice is to find others... learn, grow... set boundaries.

We BOTH changed, but we didn't change at the same time., that's another thing to remember. Watch the movie Fireproof and try doing the Love Dare. Give her a reason to want to change and be with you.

Great advice never give up and you be the one to change, we can only change ourselves and if we really look at ourselves we are not prefect either. Fireproof was such a good movie I think the way we treat others sometimes makes them mean and distant but if we decide to act loving and treat others as if they are special we can initiate change in others.

I dont hate my wife, but I hate being married to someone who lies, disagrees with everything, is controlling and doesnt listen at all. I repeat everything! She asks me a question and doesnt listen to the answer and then asks me several more times. She also has a convenient memory. I can go on and on. Her family moved in with us, though I told her that before the move happened we need to lay down some guidelines and expectations. That never happened and now they live here, her 29 year old brother doesnt work. (For 2 years) He is looking for the perfect job. Instead of working at Mcdonalds. They just sit in their rooms all day and only come out when I leave. Actually he finally left, he took his moms car (she let him). Now we are stuck with her, and she has no transportation. Any effort to discuss her moving ends in an argument between my wife and mom or sometimes the 3 of us. My wife complains that her Mom is stubborn and impossible to talk to, but they are just alike! They act like children and cant have a normal discussion without getting defensive. We did counseling and she barely tried what was suggested. She is nice, she does stuff for me, and I do things for her, but that will never change her controlling, manipulating, lazy and dishonest ways. I am now seeing all the things that she hid when we were dating. They are all coming out now that we are married. Her friends all disappeared, we are unequally yoked, and when I try to bring up a subject and have conversation, she has nothing to add. I have always wanted kids and now I dont think we will because Im afraid that I will be doing everything. Her mother never taught her to do anything, cook, clean, she was spoiled and always got her way. I want to do what is right by staying married, but its bringing the worst out of me. I have never felt further from God. Her commitment to God isnt as strong either because the way she was raised. She doesnt have one single christian friend that is her age. Even though I have tried to build relationships that she can have in her life, she is uninterested because they dont share the same tastes. Everyday is a struggle and I cry daily. My life isnt what I wanted, I feel like I was tricked into falling in love because she covered up all of these traits. They were there, but she never showed them. She also is horrible with money, makes more than me and rides me for not making more or if I make a purchase. So we had to split finances. Now i struggle while she is comfortable. I had my concerns but was to afraid to call off the wedding, now i regret that everyday. My only hope is to dive into the word and pray that the return is soon. Im afraid that Im displeasing God everyday with the way I handle this marriage. Dying to myself in this marriage means losing every part of myself that I have cultivates over the years.

Sounds a lot like my wife but she openly says she will kill herself if I left so she can guilt me into staying but I don't stay for her personally if I could I would help her kill herself but she would undoubtably take our son with her she has said if we were to divorces he would stop working just to make it more difficult. Then 15 minutes later she wonders why I don't want to be any where near her

Yup - mine threatens to call the police and frame me - [because it works at stopping me dead in my tracks!] - horrendous.

Trust me man. You are in good company. We all ended up looking at your post because we fell in love with this type of woman and then as things unraveled, we end up here. My situation is no different. Would never leave on account of our amazing children. Love thm more than life itself and would never give her the pleasure of taking any of my time with them away (let alone the place I built for for us). You hang in there buddy!!!

Many people are involved and married to people, or a person like this...I hope you get out before you have children

Why the Hell did you ever date or marry a person like that? Just divorce. Document as much dirt as possible over the next 6 month to a year and then take it to a divorce attorney.

I think you are talking about my wife. I didn't even know she had another husband.

Marriage laws need to change if families are going to make it in America. Don't anybody kill yourselves, God doesn't give you anything you can't handle. I have three girls and they are the only thing keeping me here. I have to stay because with the exception of my wife, her mother, sister, and niece are benefit sucking leaches. I don't want my kids around that or even think its ok to live off the government. I do hate this woman like you can't believe but 2014 will be my year. Physically, spiritually, financially, and professionally. Get a goal or a second job anything to keep you away from that life sucking thing called a wife

I don't get it -- so many selfish, nasty wives. I say we get far too hung up on them, I spoke with some stranger the other day who told me he split up with his girlfriend 6 months ago and he"s been so depressed. Boo bloody hoo. Why are we men such a bunch of wimps? Don't expect respect from your woman if you don't respect yourself. Be selfish and you decide what's right and wrong in your relationship. Tell her how its gonna be, and don't avoid the conflict unless you want her to continue stomping all over you.

Look what feminism has done to this world....
Google angry harry and you will see feminism in its true light

I work 4 hours a day and make 1/2 million a year, am physically fit, have almost no hobbies for my wife to compete with, am easy to get along with. And my wife is a carbon copy of the comments above ...

Self centered
Childish
Irrational
Hypocritical (yells "don't yell at me" when I am not yelling)
Disinterested in my life
Ungrateful acting (pays lip service to me being provider if I press it)
Two-faced (friends would be shocked)
Finds fault with everything
Destructive to everything
Moody at the drop of a hat
Obliviously unaware
Unapologetic regarding bad behavior
Hypersensitive (everything is a problem)
Control freak (gun issue)
Berating and abusive "your word is ****."
Debilitatingly worries about everything.
Blames her misery on me (takes no responsibility)
Has no hobbies
Claims she has no time for anything, yet wastes inordinate time on ****
Controlling and manipulative (if you don't like me, divorce)
Apathetic and uncompromising

I left her about 7 years into out currently 15 year marriage and it destroyed her. She "changed" and I took her back. Now we have a beautiful 2 year old boy (5 rounds of IVF later because she blew 8 years in school and postponed a family until it was virtually too late). We are together, I am miserable, think it would be so nice to kill myself, but would never ever do that to my son (but would relish the shock on her face). I'm stuck.

Maybe she needs to be left again until she stops all the bullshit. At least it worked once. As for me, if I told her to get out she would divorce me and I would lose everything and be below the poverty line, so I have very few options. You make enough where her taking half wouldn't be as bad. We are still together and I'm miserable, as you say. I made a very bad choice for a wife, a mistake I will pay an eternity for. Men should be able to fight back when faced with this ****. Since we make all the money in the family, it only makes since that we should control the money. It feels like I work and bust my *** for nothing, just handing over money and a nice life to an ungrateful, immature, stupid ( and the rest that you have listed) *****.

What the hell do you do that you only work 4 hours a day and make half a million a year that's what I need a job like that so I can have a hobby to get the hell away from the satin spawn that is my ***** of a wife and just so you know killing your self is not the answer just hang in there we all need troopers like you to keep us going it's the knowledge that you Share with the world that you survived and how is what's stopping others from killing themselves by thinking they can do that too and everyone can you all have the power to make the difference in your own way you don't need to save the world to be a hero just save yourself

sometimes if one person decides to implement change your whole world can become different. I'd say go out buy her a bunch of flowers take her to a movie or just write simple notes about her the things that are good for everyone has negative but you can find positives if you look hard enough. Don't give up keep trying to show her love even when she pushes it back in your face keep trying its worth it she will eventually realize you are being nicer then her and she will change. Our behavior can and will change the behavior of our spouses. If we choose to be crabby and unkind then we will get crabby and unkindness back but if we choose to be kind loving selfless you will see a whole new person emerge over time. I wish you luck!

Sounds so much like what I am going through, feel ya bro! BTW what do you do for a living making that kind of money with those kinds of hours?

I am from Ireland and I am a woman. I have never heard of so many spoilt selfish women in my life. I really do sympathize with you. You should be out have a bit of crack (Fun) together. She needs to loosen up and become childlike in a positive way. Good luck

2 More Responses

I am in the same boat as you. My girlfriend is selfish, lazy and manipulative. Every day is a stress of some kind, if there is a day that goes by without her upsetting everyone then its rare. I am at my wits end, I am stressed cant relax anymore and really cant cope. I feel trapped and depressed :(

What is the matter with you? Break up with her. Why do you and so many others cling to people just because you spent a lot of time with them? If my girlfriend made me feel like she had wasted all the time I had been with her the word hate would not begin to properly describe what I would feel for her.

Let me tell you why - these women have some wonderful qualities 90% of the time that surpass other women we have met. Initially the 'bug' in her system is 1% and over time it grows... eventually we are trapped... and even then wrestle with the pros/cons analysis day and night. Also, trying to 'fix' the problem/ hope it just goes away is so much more attractive than pouring away x years of your life and trying to find someone else to marry and put up with 'us'!

she loves her-self a lot more than you. get the hell out.

You not alone mate. same here.

Im in the same situation as you bro. I have married my wife for the past 4 years. dated for 3 years. If only i knew what will be coming i very much regret marrying her. The warning signs are all out when i first met her. shes having a baby with some older guy who used her as a **** buddy. then she got hit by some guy too. i pity her and let her stay with me. she has been a mental case saying her parents want to control her life. i thought life has been hard on her and i was out of love. in the beginning it was good but she had relapses and always seem to hurt everyone around her. she never cleans the house and messes her stuffs and never bother to buy food for me while ahe wants to be treated like a queen asking me buy this and that. i relented and her parents coaxed us to get married. my bor and mom knew instantly shes the wrong chapter but im too blinded by my love as shes giving me tons of affection then between her lapses of craziness. i thought i can take it. im a man and thoughy i can take responsibility. cut the long story short. i wasted my money time and effort while she gave nothing in return..shes selfish with her money and bought all sorts of rubbish for herself and enjoyment. Im really stupid thinking marriage can change her but she kept complaining. talking bad for my mum. shes ill.with cancer and cough and she calls her a witch and hated my best bro who she say was using me. in the end she met a ****** up boy 6 years her junior and now they have sex and calla each other baby. when i msg her she reply aloof and sacasticly. im really fed up and wants to divorce but i dun wan her to be beart brokened. She hides her affair from me and lied but i still found out. my bro say im hopeless and told me to kick her out. Our new house ia on the way. should i divorce or stay. right now im trying to keep fit and i showwd less affection to her.

lol dude I honestly feel like I wrote this. i have the same issue but I have some kind of thing in me that remains humble time after time of disrespect. I havent figured it out yet but eventually it wears out and you start looking for other things to make you happy. Have you tried talking one on one with her to see why shes like this? A good heart to heart talk can be helpful. No tv or anything and relay your feelings to her. If she really loves you she will change for you and acknowledge your feelings and I hate to say it but if she doesnt you cannot have that kind of strain on yourself. Its not healthy.

Thank you for sharing. Your ordeal is hopefully behind you. I believe your wife is a Borderline Personality at a minimum as my wife mirrors your wife and she is Borderline. You can't have a future with a Borderline except one of being very lonely. As a man we like to fix things but a Borderline isn't repairable without more luck and money than odds of winning in Vegas.

I was once with a creature like this. It was a dark and scary time. Never plan on putting myself in such situation again.

Dude, I lived with a chick for 4 years....she didn't do ****, never cleaned, picked up after herself, didn't share the rent, food cost etc. she even had the nuts to say she was hungry on a Saturday morning and waited till I got up to cook. What a waste of time and she was freaking lazy like no one I've ever seen in my life! Zero respect.

Wow... I could have written this. I am starting to think all women are inherently this way, which is why I am in my thirties and no where near marriage. If any of you meet a woman to the contrary (that is, a rational, reasonable, accountable, thoughtful, caring adult human being with a vagina) please email me.

Thank you to all the guys who have posted on this thread. It is quite therapeutic to know I'm not the only one who is trapped in a bad marriage with crazy woman. I have been married for ten years and have a beautiful ten year old daughter. Before and during her period my wife is a nasty, vindictive, spiteful, hateful and angry person. After her period, for around 10 days she is the woman I fell in love with. However she is so nasty for the other 20 days in the month I cant take it anymore. I've put up with it for many years and have tried everything to change her ways. I've stood up to her, argued back, tried to discuss things but she will not or cannot see any wrong in what she does or says. She will never admit she is wrong. Because of this we never talk about issues anymore. There is no point because she will never consider anyones point of view other than her own. She never apologies and will try to lay any blame on me. So over the last couple of years I decided that the best thing to do is to simply not say anything. When she rants and raves over the most trivial of things i don't respond. I just sit and listen or walk out the room. Now this has been hard. When someone is criticising you and calling you names you just want to lash out but ive taught myself to bite my lip. The main reason I do this is because my daughter has been witness to years of her vile comments and I figure that damage limitation is the best way to protect my daughter from any further mental damage. My wife doesn't care if my daughter can hear what she is saying. The other night we had a huge row where my wife ended up hitting me repeatedly (as she has done many times over the years. Yes I have hit her to but she has always stuck the first blow). The row was over the fact that my wife needed some help with a Word document. I said 'do i get a kiss in return' and she flew of the handle. Yes it really is that bad. I closed the living room door so my daughter couldn't hear. If course my idiotic wife then opened the door and my daughter heard everything. I went upstairs and the little angel was sitting on her bed sobbing. Seeing her like this just broke my heart - again. I haven't been the perfect hubby but she is a psycho. I could give you a thousand examples of crap over the years. I don't see my friends anymore because she would start arguing if I came home too late. However her 'too late' is everyone elses too early. I just can't be bothered with the hassle of explaining where im going, what im doing, who I was with blah blah. She hates the fact I work with women and i may actually be friends with them. She went ballistic when I once had a completely innocent text from a colleague. She accused me of having an affair with her. Once I plucked up the courage to take her to a works party. When I saw my work friends I gave them a hug. She went absolutely mental saying I fancied them etc. Idiot. Her new thing is that she hates the fact I go to watch sport and she resents the fact im at the match for a few hours whilst she is at home. Anyway, why dont I leave her you ask? Well I dont want to spend a day away from my daughter it would break my heart. We also have around 10k of debt that I could not afford to pay if I was living by myself. But I have a plan. The day my daughter turns 18 im gone. She can have the house I don't care. Im off and im going to find a woman I actually get on with and I will start my life again. Ok ill be nearly 50 years old but im hoping fate will give me a break and cut me some slack.

being nearly 50 and happy will be worth leaving my husband just left me after 30 years of marriage. he says he wasnt happy either i was alot of the problem but i hate that he wasnt happy. it really breaks my heart. i hope you will find happiness bless your daughter

Thanks men. Misery loves company and it helps me know I'm not alone. I think my daughter gave good advice one time when I was particularly upset and she learned about it: build a support network of friends and family that will cheer you when she gets you down. Sometimes when you let your wife just stew in her own juices she will act better, communicate with her better side, even apologize. Chnaces are she actually knows or suspects deep inside she's wrong; don't let your reaction become her excuse.
That will keep you going for a while. Read through this column; it sounds as though there aren't so many good women out there just now. Try to live with it and develop a strategy for the various hellish scenarios that are likely to happen or have happened before. Don't let it get you down; tell yourself she's not worth it and -maybe- she will be one day Understand a little imperfection in yourself but don't give her the excuse of any major outburst. If you do apologize that time so she'll be able to see the problem is in herself. The whole world is making excuses for her; don't make any more but realize she is being brainwashed that women's problems are the fault of men.

I was the selfish and crazy wife and my ex made the mistake of letting me get away with it or storming out. As some have mentioned here, it is important to stand up for yourself - not because you are "the man in the relationship", but out of your own self respect. I lost respect for him because he never stood up to me and when he did, he was so angry and hurtful from letting it build up that he would yell at me at the top of his lungs and call me the worst names - I lost even more respect for him during these episodes because he was out of control of his emotions. So, my advice is to be consistently honest and stern when she behaves in a way that is disrespectful to you and your relationship, while still being loving towards her. Your life is too precious to waste with someone who doesn't contribute to your happiness - but it is a two way street.

Well at least your ex is a piece now....maybe you'll learn to respect yourself in the future.

Hi gettingokwithme,

What you say makes a lot of sense. I agree that it is important to express yourself and respect yourself to stand up for yourself. However, if standing up for yourself always leads to more arguments and hurtful things and does not help in resolving anything, it just seems better to not stand up and make it worse...

Yes, standing up for yourself will lead to more arguments at first, but you see... Women think differently. They will be 'testing' you to see if this is a "one time" thing or if who you really are is that 'strong rock' that they 'think they need' in their head. If you can learn more emotional control and don't let her stupid little painful words affect you, then you 'win' and will have a happier life. Hope this makes sense, it's exactly what I've been experiencing for years until I learned to be "emotionally tough" and got really tough with my boundaries and respect yourself FIRST Always. If the 'wife is really going on and on after months still, then I would just dump her sorry ***, because by then you've become the man many other women would love to have!!

Gettingokwithme; really? You still seem to be one way to me, you never stop to think that he loved you enough to really try to put up with you, try hard to please you, untill you kept pushing and pushing until he just could not stand it, and then probly felt terrible for loosing it, and what you loose respect if he didn't stand up to you, and lose respect when you finaly pushed him to far and did. Maybe you just don't respect men or yourself.

I love this advice! It's so hard for most men to understand what Boundaries Mean and How to Respect Yourself First, when none of this was taught by our Father's of a different generation. The valuable posts from the women on here are courageous and I applaud them for doing so. There is a lesson here guys, Boundaries and Respect for yourself is crucial. Wish there were me relationship coach's for men so we knew we could be more empowered in creating a satisfying relationship for both the woman and ourselves.

2 More Responses