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Horrible Selfish Wife... Want a Way Out

i married this person i thought i loved about 2 years back... worst decision of my life. even during our courtship we had terrible fights and arguments. But always thought it resulted due to her past experiences in previous relationships. but it wasnt, i was wrong and its just the way she is. shes has problems...

she is selfish (cares pretty much only about her needs and emotions), she has several strong traits of borderline personality disorder - childish/childlike behavior, deflection of all blame, impossible to reason with... the works. she is super-sensitive (without caring about the sensitivities of others).

ive been putting up with her **** for a while now, but im particularly disappointed now... my folks are here and despite their best efforts and mine, she doest care a damn. not only will she not speak with them, but she wont let me spend time with them either (im seeing them after several years now). she is posessive and controlling and all this stems from some *****ng insecurity of hers and it sucks. she constantly accuses me making her play second fiddle.

what really gets to me is that she is "happy" and "chatty" only around her friends and family. around mine she is aloof, disinterested or just plain rude. she picks apart everything my friends/loved ones say and do. she takes offense to everything the say or do. she makes it a point to sit in a separate room or plan parallel activities when they are around. this makes it extremely difficult to have a nice time with my friends/family. its particularly distressing because my friends/family visit very rarely - for instance my folks are visiting us the first time since we got married!

she always blames me when i try to prod her to speak with them, be nicer or do anything differently. she is overly critical of me around my friends and family. she is visibly happier when they arent around.

i cant take this anymore... im at a point where i wouldnt mind ending it all.. not just the marriage if only i didnt have people that depend on me.

thinking back... she reacts negatively to anything i like passionately. from trivial things like clothes/cars to big things like people.

there was a time when i would do anything for her... but i hate her now. hate the thought of going back home to be alone with her. hate the prospect of having to spend the rest of my life with her. marriage sucks.... but i guess all of us here have already made that mistake.

myrtlethyme myrtlethyme 26-30 111 Responses Oct 17, 2008

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Hey i feel for you i have experienced the same selfishness blaming everything on me all about her twisting things to blame me and repeated cheating i feel for ya theres cruel people out there

Get out now my dude! She is trash and you deserve much better.

Dude and I thought I was the only one to have aside like that. It is in two days the two month anniversary when she left me. She had her brother and father come to take her with them because we lived close to my family. A month ago she broke in my apartment with her father and brother and stole basically everything I had. And by the way they left the oven and the stove leaking the gas. They tried to make the place explode. The only resin I care in this situations is my baby daughter. And the justice in Mexico is pretty slow in cases when "family" is involved.

I have almost all the same problems. My wife was a wonderful person when we first got married, loving and caring.
In Dec. of 2012 I had my right knee totally replaced and 4 month's later I had my left knee totally replaced. I have two torn rotator cuffs and a really bad lower back.
I have fallen 47 times since my first knee replacement. I haven't been able to build enough strength in my quads & hamstring's to be able to climb a ladder in a pool so I can exercise and start building my legs up.
But my wife expect me to vacum, dust,and do wash while she is at work, if I could do the house work I would. I forgot to mention I am about 150lbs. Overweight and I'm 63y/o but I'm very healthy besides what I hane told you.
I have low blood pressure, no diabetes, and after my last physical my doctor told me I was well fit for my age and my disibility's.
But my wife makes it very hard to be happy and loving. My wife yell's at me every day, and on the weekend's she yell's almost all day long. Our house is so messy that we can't have anyone over for dinner, or just watch a movie. My wife has a shopping problem that is out of hand. Although she has slowed down in her shopping habbit.and she wasn't all to blame. I spent a lot of money on tools and kitchen ware for me and my wife, and my wife also overbought more kitchen ware. Now we have to give about 60% of what we have in our doublewide mobile home away or just have a garage sale.

Please tell me you haven't knocked her up yet!

my wife is always being argumentative over anything, even when she knows she is doing the wrong thing she will attack me and argue with me to control me.

For example I just showed her what happens to these people who park in handicap parks on youtube, we then went to the shops and there was a man in a wheel chair who had lost his leg, plus she knows i hate these inconsiderate people who park in handicap parks, zoo. we just went to the shops and it was busy as ever, she parks in the handicap park she can see there is a lineup for the shop i need so she just sits there waiting.

I gestured to her to move the car, she sees me and ignores me. I walk up to the car and say please honey move the car. she says in the most bitchy tone, "fine, but you will have to walk to the car"… no **** I'm thinking. her inconsiderations are getting worse and worse. I hate her. I'm starting to wish i was never married. on our wedding night she told me to walk down the street at about 1am just to save a $1.50 because she did not want to pay for a drink from the mini bar. i needed a pick me up (red bull) because the day was very long and thought I would wake up to make love to her as you do when you get married. she mad me so mad with how she treated me that I did not goto bed with her and could not sleep at all, the next day i was a mess. a huge mess. what a *****.

It's not like we don'y have money, she spends hundreds on shoes and treats me like this. On our wedding night. I felt that she had got me and the real her came out that night. So ******.

I want a divorce but I'm all tied up in this house and loans and well you guys know what its like. The bad thing is she use to be with this 50 yr old when she was 18, they stayed together for 10 years he's now 60+ he use to get her to **** men while he watched and so much more sick stuff. I have made the biggest mistake in my life by forgiving her ways and giving her my true heart. I hate her…. there is so much more as well.

I just have to figure out how to get out of here.

MARRIAGE is a TRAP. a huge big ******* trap.

My wife is exactly the same. She's angry, bipolar, condescending, cruel, hypocritical and miserable. She dupes and brainwashes everyone, and scoops them all up to take her side. I was seeing a therapist, to please HER, so that SHE looks SANE, which she's NOT!!!!!!!!!! I don't need therapy. I need my FREEDOM back!!! Dude, if you have no kids, yet, GET OUT!!! Like The Exorcist!!! It is A BREEZE leaving her, compared to leaving your precious KIDS behind!!! RUN OUT OF THE HOUSE, AND DON'T GO BACK UNTIL IT'S SAFE TO GRAB YOUR STUFF! OR ASK HER IF SHE WANTS TO LEAVE! LET HER THROW A FIT! WATCH HER HAVE AN ANGERFEST! WATCH HER TRASH THE HOUSE! SO WHAT??? WHO'S GONNA GET HURT? YOU?! ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS CALL THE COPS! **** HER!!! EMBRACE THE CHAOS!!! WIN YOUR FUTURE BACK!!! I have two boys, 8 and 12, a huge mortgage, and five-figure student loans! I'm SCREWED! I'm a eunuch! And it gives me a HUGE, HUGE, FRESH perspective!!! We've been married for 17 LONG, LONG years!!! I realize, NOW, that leaving her sorry butt behind, BEFORE having kids, would have been CAKE!!!!!!!!! It would have been almost as easy as NOT calling some control freak for a second date!!! GET THE HECK OUT!!!!!!!!! FIND YOUR REAL LIFE!!! GO!!!

Dude, with all due respect I just joined this so interesting site and I think it's the place to air your frustrations full blast!, but what caught my eye about your story is that I was also married for 17 long fricken years! and dude, the situation at the beginning was the same as most couples, everything is nothing but loving kisses, and apologetic sarcastic courtesies....But the years went by and before I knew it the wrinkles started to appear and the farts started smelling so life as a married man began to suck but that's not the worst part, the menopause hit her hard during that time and the 42 year old bag began acting as if she was forever 21! all of the sudden to the point were she along with her string of dirtbag friends decided to make every Friday night "ladies Friday night out while expecting me to beat off in the closet all night long...
Well to make a long story short, the *****, in one of those "ladies night out" getaways ended up tangling up with this small time wannabe ***** food stamp maggot pimp that she met in a bar downtown, she of course kept her little dirty secret for at least four years, time frame of when she was always too sick or too something to have sex with me anymore, and so while I was out there busting my balls to give her a comfortable life she was in some cheap *** motel with my money getting banged by this piece of living crap!! How about that!..
anyhow to end the fucken story as a result, I demanded she give me a reasonable explanation as to why she was never in the mood to have sex with me anymore so we ended up arguing and fighting for the last 4 fricken years and never got an honest answer out of her snoot and so since she felt I was getting close to finding out and busting her red handed she under the council of her evil stinken friends one day filed a false restraining order against me: sheriffs came and kicked me "out" of my very own home so she could rob me of any thing she felt like doing so, soon after she had the nerve to divorce me under the allegation that I was an abuser and a "macho" that all I wanted her for was to make her my prisoner my maid my cook and my sex ***** and that all she wanted was to work but I wouldn't let her so for that she, under the guidance of her ****-eating attorney felt entitled to at least three quarter of my assets, I on the other hand fell in the hands of the worst female attorney anyone can think of who at the end, ended up in cahoots with her ***** attorney...
So brother, when I realized that these two *****'s aim was to turn the divorce case into a saga to milk me till I was homeless I ended up making a deal with her that at the end costed me $175.000.00 dlls my home I had to borrow money against it in order to free myself from these herd of spineless money hungry filthy rats!! including that evil witch wife that I should've never met, when the dust finally settled, for many days I cried not only like an abandoned child at the foot of my bed but also like someone who just got extortioned, raped and like someone who's rights had been systematically violated under the California marriage law system till one day without anyone's help but God, I wiped my tears, got up, put on my work clothes and said to myself: we got a lot of work to do for the next few years if we want to recapture what under the circumstances was taken from us
Now I've been single for 8 years, debt free and my life is completely organized and filled with harmony and I will never ever especially here in California, will ever! get married again,
Thank you for reading my story

I too am in the same situation been married 21 yrs 3 kids at first the youngest was 15 only had 3 yrs left then that was my time to leave. But then 4 months ago had another baby girl. She is the sweetest little thing ever. So the cycle has begun once again. No more kids after this got clipped and she got fixed as well. But her behavior is so condescending and demeaning to me . She does a great job of making me feel worthless and weak. My memory is terrible so I get confused on details of situations during heated moments. So she easily bends and twists things into her favor. The children don't like her and they really don't like the way I'm treated and want me to leave her but I will NOT LEAVE MY KIDS THEY ARE ALL I HAVE IN THIS WORLD. Good to know I am not alone. My mind and emotions are strong enough to prevent me from beating this woman. I'm sure she believes I am weak ......if she only knew.

I feel your pain. I feel all of it

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Is she an alcoholic?

Oh !geez this is the way my life is with my wife. i supposed i dont have enough balls to leave or i just dont want to leave my kids with a broken family . We are both lds but im inactive and she still attends . And evry sunday we fight over church ,i keep telling her im not ready and that there is no way in hell ill be going with her acting that way .this seems to be our recent problem but there is many other things wrong with her .dont get me wrong im not perfect but i admit my faults and she dosent she blames me .i dont know what to do i feel trapped and helpless .

You are not alone.

I feel u my wife is perfect and won't admit to anything but loves to point the finger

Get out--- I'm sure my husband wishes he had

Do not have a baby with this woman!

I know this all too well, the best bit is how you have to see the inlaws once a week yet though you are lucky to spend 10 minutes with your side of the family a year. Another point is when you go to the shop for something you need like a shirt or pair of pants and don't want to be there long and end up going shopping all day and still don't get your shirt or pants and the only money spent was yours. If it wasn't for kids I would of kicked her *** to the curb along time ago

I had that same issue. Just say NO. These women are children in a grown women's body. After the threats (that will not be acted on) and wining are through, they're pretty much lost. They're not used to the idea the "no means no." She'll fall in line. You have to treat her the same way you treat a child and stick with it. After realizing she won't get her way, you'll be much happier. Once the kids are old enough, leave for a real women. While the children grow and mature, these women can't. We all deserve a spouse that can be a partner and share our lives. You'll never have that with her. I speak from experience.


Do you want to by a gun lol

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same situation as my son is in married less than 2 yrs he wants out hes getting a divorce but wife screams shell get all his things they have no house or any kids she came in the relationship with just her clothes and added nothing to it all this time he did everything for her also she is constantly texting him numorous times a day saying negative things his lawyer is getting a restraining order on this he cant wait till it over

**** yeee...that is true and i am willing to donate for this!!!

Here is my experience to the world on how i got my love back and saved my marriage. I really love Louis so much that i can not even do without. I was married for 7years with 2kids and we lived happily until things started getting ugly and we had fights and arguments almost every time... it got worse at a point that he filed for divorce... I tried my best to make him change his mind & stay with me because i loved him with all my heart and didn't want to lose him but everything just didn't work out... He moved out of the house and still went ahead to file for divorce... I pleaded, cried and tried everything but still nothing worked. The breakthrough came when someone introduced me to this wonderful man who eventually helped me out with spell... I have never been a fan of things like this but just decided to try reluctantly because I was desperate and left with no choice... He did special prayers and used herbs... Within two days he called me and was sorry for all the emotional trauma he had cost me, moved back to the house and we continue to live happily, the kids are happy too and we are expecting our third child. I have introduced him to a lot of couples with problems across the world and they have had good news... Just thought I should spread my experience cause I strongly believe someone out there need's it... NOTE THAT he will ask you to pay a small token amount of money to get the materials to work for you. You can email DR SANJAY via (sanjaylandofsolution606@gmail . com) Don't give up just yet, the different between "Ordinary" & "Extra-Ordinary" is the "Extra" so make extra effort to save your marriage/relationship if it's truly worth it.

This is a woman writing... I have a sister like this and tons of women friends (and I say friends loosely because when they confuse me with their husbands and start their Hitler routine on me - I put them off my bus). I have told these women over and over this is male abuse -- the going nuts over a Kleenex left on the table, the having a melt down because their inlaws are coming...and it goes on and on - Pitbull to Poodle. The worst is the 2 sided rules -- she can be 40 mins late - no apology but yet she is seething if you get caught up in traffic and you get radio silence from then on. Or oh dear God if you get them a gift = they don't like or give them a gift certificate because you can not please them you get hell. DAMMED IF YOU DO AND DAMMED IF YOU DON'T.

There is nothing good about these relationships because she sucks all the joy out of life and if you want any kind of freedom OR CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE you have to get up on your hind legs and fight for it which just results in her attacking you and then screaming abuse. And naturally every police office and counsellor in the land..of which I know what I am talking about...could never believe that Sandra Bullock is the mean faced, aggressive, its my way or the high way, punch you in the face Rosie Odonnell behind closed doors. Even Billy Graham would eventually after day in and day out of being talked down to like a dog, screamed at, bad attitude and tantrums probably hit he with his bible. It is like living with the teenager from hell.

So before she convinces you that you are the family abuser and drive you to crazyville ..go..make her pay child support....and if she doesn't get Therapy, Chill Pills and Anger not go back they never change, they actually get worse once Menopause kicks in. And you may be able to take her abuse, but it is extremely damaging for any children or a daughter role modelling her Pitbull mother!

I'm in the same boat, as long as she gets what she wants,she's happy...I'm at my whit's. I need help,financially I can't pay for a divorce,without falling behind on my bills that I have to pay. I'm on a fixed income...she's fifteen years younger than me....she had an ad in the news paper.that's how I met her....I made a big mistake,and paying for it since I married her....GOD PLEASE HELP ME.....

Mate I'm in England and my wife is the same. Yes I have character defects but she is oblivious to what I do for her on a day to day basis, she is intentionally oblivious and ignorant to that. My little fella (4) loves me far more than her, no competition, but reason that bond to her and its only do the good / meaningful things with him (well actually I spend more time with him than her so he would say that). She will always play the 'mum' card and I will lose but I as well as my son knows which bond is stronger now, as well as in a few years time when we undoubtable separate. She loses but my son loses more because of her pig-headed ways.

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I can understand what you are going through. My bro is going thru is..... wish you the best

I'm going through the same situation . Everything you are saying . It's my life. I'm about to say **** it.

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Please don't end it sound like a warm, compassionate human being who deserves to be happy. I hope things improve.

Me, too

I can totally relate, I have been married for 12 years to life sentence. The thing that keeps me here mostly is my daughter who I don't want to abandon. MY family rarely visits and my parents like to talk about all the things that re going on with the family and just want to share. My wife is always making faces and mumbling under her breath about my parents, and the things she dislikes. She will turn what people say and use it against me, she does not drop anything even if it happened when I was in my youth and I didn't even know her. I am at the point that I am living just to live and am here for my daughter. But lately she will say things negatively about my family so my daughter will dislike them as well. But with her family I have no problem with I go with the flow and I don't act the same as she does with mine. My parents share with people certain aspects of what is going on so they watch what they say or they totally ignore us for the fact that they may say something that she can use as ammunition at a later time. My wife/warden doesn't give a S*&( of how I feel and says I don't like it get out. Her perception to others is that she is this nice person, Id rather be at work then to hang out with her. I hate going places with her because she is constantly nagging about me liking this person or that person. I will be walking and she will notice every attractive person and tell me I am looking at them.
I wish it would end there but she accuses me that I have something going on at work as well. I am miserable and the one thing keeping me here is my daughter. But even with that I am ready to call it quits. So I can totally feel your pain.

Hello I'm Belek Sandra if not for Dr. Oraede my marriage would have become a history, I got married to my husband in the year 2006, so we had a son, we were living happily everything changed suddenly, he don't come home anymore, he even asked for a divorce, I was so shocked to hear that from him, because he was not like that when i met him, i saw Dr. Oraede website and I visited it, I saw different types of things he can do so i know he can also change my husband's mind, I contacted him via his email, he advised me on what to do, which i did, I did all because of my wonderful son, he did a spell and my husband came back and canceled the divorce and now we are living happily, he even bought me a car; Contact him via his email dr.oraedespellhome @, contact me on sandrabelek @ or visit his website on the-great- dr- oraede. webs. com

I am a father of 2 lovely boys from France. Unfortunately , after 6 years of an awful married life , I am filing for divorce.

I am experiencing exactly the same kind of wife : .......

I was afraid to leave her because of my kids and also because she keeps telling me that I a a bad person.

Now , I know , it is the best choice for my life and health : LEAVING

Oh, my friend... How only TOO wel I understand what you are going through. I also got married back in 2001, though my wife and I began to live together in 2002. She was for another country, so it took me about 7 months of very hard and intensive labor to get her over to the US. She was ok for the first several years, though, as I had learned later on, she was not getting along with her parents. Then, as stupid as I was, I helpd her sister to come over, put ther through school, college. Then... I helped her parents to come over... BIGGEST mistake of my life!!! They destroyed my relationship with my parents, I had not speken to them in over 5 years. Thank God, I was able to re establish the contact with them. I have two lovely sons. I love them dearly! A year ago, she had moved away to NYC, thus, technically she has abandoned me. I work as a merchant marine, therefore, I spend a lot of time at sea. It is a good money, but... It is literally blood money! I made everything for her - education, car, good house. Nothing was good enough for her. So... I decided to end it all. Yes, it is a very hard decision. It took me years to realize I had to do it. I am still in the process. But, you do need to think of yourself. I know this may sound egotistic, but it is not. Think about this, if she is destroying everything you are, everything you cherish and stand for, everything you hold dear and believe in - get out! It is very hard, but it will make you stronger. I am weak in a lot of ways. But, I will persuade in this endeavor. Do not give up hope! You are not the only one! There are other people in far worse situation than yours, and we all understand why it is like to have someone you had cared for and loved so much! It is devastating to see your love being crushed and ignored by the one you had thought was your life time mate. But... Sometimes, you need to stand up and say enough is enough! If it is meant to be, you will find someone else who is much better and deserves you, and who will appreciate you! I know I will stay away from. Any relationship for a while now. The pain is too much. The last thing you want to do is to get in another relationship and go through it all over again. Men are actually more prone to heart attacks because of this. Why do you think there is a saying "he died of a broken heart"? Look at the whole thing as a game of chess. Plan, think, and attack.

I will itemize how I think you should deal with her but I warn, my list will only work if what you say about her is true
1. Be happy around your family and friends and tell them she is depressed (excuse for her behavior)
2. If she works and you work buy she doesn't have any financial responsibilities because you pick up all the bills. Have her pick up some bills and if she refuses, cut the service she refuses to pick up and be ready to live without that service.
3. If you sleep in separate rooms and are without kids, buy a lock for your room door and advice her to do like wise.
4. When next she accuses you of anything, tell her she is right (even when she is not) and then ask her what she plans to do about it.
5. On her birthday, don't give her a gift even if she got you one on yours. Just say happy birthday and if possible go out all day.
6. When her family comes don't be rude but don't go out of your way to be courteous.If you can, as soon as they walk in, tell them you are on your way out.
If she doesn't leave you, then you know she loves you. And if she doesn't complain about you, then maybe she thinks you are too soft.

Regard s

I have a selfish wife, too.
The Jehovah's Witnesses are helping me to deal my narcissistic wife.

The JWs give me love. The wife does not sit still. She interrupts and walks away from our conversations.

She stays angry for years.

She blames me for her arthritis, money problems, and says that I never am there to help her.

It is true that I don't work for 7 years, but I did try to tell her what to do with the $100,000.00 but she did not listen to me. She just spent it.

She is angry that our tenants don't pay the rent.

She does not let me deal with the tenants or to let me help her in any way.


Please sir, read the bible. I keep a serious face because if I smile then my wife starts yelling at me.

God bless you.

I don't leave because I don't have money and also I will not leave our son alone with her because she will feminize him.

I teach my son Tai Chi Chuan and he is an athlete because I play soccer with him. The wife just wants him to sit still or to stay in the house and not exercise. She offers to take him to the mall, but my son does not like the mall.

I don't like the mall either.

She says that I should write here that I don't help around the house and that I don't even throw out the garbage.

I do throw out the garbage when she helps me.

I am Daniel Caron on youtube.

Bye for now.

Wow, that sounds like my wife's twin, although in conjunction my wife now does conversations with her self and breaks out in laughter with no one around. I too have debt and we jointly own a mortgage, my wife is not interested in working and honestly she can burn water in a pot, that's how bad her cooking skills are. Luckily for us I enjoy cooking my daughter and son now hate my wife and have no respect for her as she is always on a miss trust issue with our whole family. I am only here because of the kids, the other thing she does is she takes my credit card when ever she can and has a fling I can't leave my wallet around and I have to put passwords on all things she once broke into my Facebook and told everyone what such a nice person she was using my Facebook well surface to say I had to close my Facebook account which I only wanted to use when talking to relatives I have also had to cancel credit cards. So I can appreciate your dilemmas people say just leave but I can't rely on her to look after the kids in a 50 50 split scenario but I have a high management role and I do struggle at times and I have become very tired from all this I even had a heart attack from stress last year, so at times reading these misadventures does in some ways make me feel somewhat not as unique as I nay have thought my problem was. The thing is I have never played up ever and have even pushed aside advances from other women but I don't know if I can continue to go on too much longer before I break, but I will try and hold out at least until my children are at an age where they can look after them selves then I can let go I just hope I can last that long.

You know sometimes if we decide to be extra nice to the one we think we hate so special things unexpected things take her out for a special date buy her flowers do things that make her feel special try every day to do something nice and I think you will see her attitude change. We cannot change people but we can always change how we react and treat others with kindness sometimes people soften and you will again find each other back were you were when you first met. Don't give up never give up for you might loose something that is of great value if you treat it as such. Just try it even if she at first shows no change keep at it keep doing nice things keep showing her love and she will come around.

I try to do nice things for my wife daily. I get her gifts, spend all my money on her, spend all my time and efforts to make her happy and she always finds ways to start a fight. Recently she bought a car! So dump me I got her the tint and Stero system in the car that we really couldn't afford along with her new high car payment. She wanted a breast augmentation so I put it on my credit card. I eat caned tuna most days and thats all I can afford to do. She claims I'm selfish and rude, she calls me names and I'm getting ready to give up. I bring her little gifts and show her all love languages, I help her in every way possible and it never gets me any where. I don't know what else to do! I have been trying to love her every way possible. However, she always finds some way to pick at me or pick some kind of fight. We have tried everything but it seems hope is running out. She says she hates me most days and calls me various names. My life is based around her. She has know idea how selfish and mean she comes across as. I guess for now I'll suffer until I can make a plan. Who knows she is always saying were done..

she is selfish. learn to love yourself. give yourself the same love and attention you gave her. you will be better off. if you dont do this for yourself, you are to blame as much for playing the victim role. plan an exit strategy. take care of yourself cuz you are in charge of your life

If she actually has BPD this does not work. Gifts, nice things, kindness- It will never be enough. There is no "coming around." She needs professional help- years of it. Can you hang on for that long?

Add a response...

I'm divorced now she blames me when she's the one who filed ... Its takes time to get your self esstem back... Im a grand father now and mine didn't want them to visit ... she would say things like I give you al the time in the world to be with them why do they half to come here ... get out and take back your life .. mine has so many personality disorders ... I cant believe I stayed married to her for 17 years ... your dream of marriage and life is not hers ...

My sons mother left me when he was 2 years old she blamed me for how she felt which was bad I begged her to stay ... turns out she is bi-polar, by the time my son was 7 years I won custody. When he was 14 she blamed me for her life being in ruins. He's 16 now, today when she dropped him off from her 2 of 4 days a month visitation she was still fuming. Over what? She hasn't hardly talked to me in the last decade so what is there to be mad about?

its funny how the media always potray men as the uncomitted ones in a relationship. Do you think any woman would tolerate what you are going through after all 75 percent of divorces are filed by women. But you dont have to take it, go see a lawyer and fight for the interests of you and your daughter fiercely before it is too late. Read the book infidelity by Michelle lynn (know it might seem unrelated to your problem but pls do) and know how bad it can really get

Wow. This sounds like I wrote this. For being married, I've never felt so alone.

My family is not really welcome in my home, or I'm discouraged from seeing them or she makes plans or needs me to do something, taking up any time I could use for visiting family and friends.

She usually leaves, sleeps or hides in a room when my family comes over. Getting her to interact with them is like pulling teeth.

Her family and friends are more than welcome and are treated vastly different than me and my family. She hasn't established boundaries with her mother. I feel like she should have just married her damn mom. Rather than my wife and I being a family and make decisions as our own family unit, my opinion is either discarded or not asked for. My wife instead makes decisions after consulting her mother.

Her mother oversteps with my daughter, and is constantly around, she tries to take over and replace me. Her opinions always being shoved down my throat.

My family has a nonexistent relationship with my daughter, which breaks my heart. The only family my daughter is really allowed to know is my wife's snobby family.

My goal every day is to not be criticized, interrogated or hassled. My actions and daily routine is motivated solely by this.

My wife works 2 or 3 days a week and complains about being tired. I just got done working 7 days a week 12-14 hours a day for over a month (definition of tired) and she had the balls to get pissed at me for not helping more around the house during that month. So I f**king cleaned the house too.

We haven't had sex in 2 months almost. We have sex once every month or every other month. Even then, it's a chore to her. There is no passion or enjoyment. Just mechanical . when I brought it up, I got quoted a statistic that it was normal for people in their 20s to not be intimate very frequently. Bullsh**.

I would leave but we have a daughter, and she has told me that if we did split, she would do what she could to keep me from getting even so much as joint custody.

She won't admit mistakes, won't hardly apologize, and wants me to go to counseling to work out my issues, because I'm the problem. I realize I am not perfect, and I have made mistakes, but at least I can admit that.

I have given her everything she wanted, when she wanted. Ring, house in the nice neighborhood she wanted dog, kid, trips, affection, everything.

And after giving for so long, and receiving no mercy, kindness or affection in return, I have become selfish and bitter. She says why should she be nice to someone who is mean, and that I'm not who I used to be. Damn right I'm not who I used to be, maybe if it had been appreciated when I was that guy, he would still be here. I never wanted to be a selfish, depressed *******.

I want out, but hope it works out. I don't know.

I can relate, I'm in the same situation!

I hear you bro the exact same thing happened to me and when she doesn't get her own way she verbally and sometimes physically abused me but because I got tired of the abuse and started to stand up for myself she left me thank God im a little lonely but its better than walking on broken egg shells all the time :)

I typed this

I understand man I am going through this right now

I am a woman and I really do sympathize with you. Some women need to wake up before it is too late. She should respect you as you deserve it. I hope everything goes well for you I really mean that. I love my husband and I would feel totally gutted if I thought that I made him feel like that.

My future ex wife is exactly the same : she hates my family , friend , my hobbies , ME!!!!!

She has destroyed my life during 6 years , now i've left. it is difficult because I miss my sons , but i am very happy anyway!

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I'm so sorry that marriages are so lost these days. I'm reading these things and I'm seeing many of you men hurting, angry, etc... some of you even wishing to just not live anymore. For anyone in that situation, please seek some counseling. Change your life and circumstances by changing how you deal with them. Find out how to have a fulfilling life. It's possible even if you decide to remain with her and she doesn't change. You can change by setting boundaries in your life and in the way other people treat you.

My husband and I hit a really rough spot because I was sometimes selfish, but so was he. He fell into a depression after a job loss (while I was preggie with number two) and we had so many issues. After many more tough spots, we were on the verge of divorce when I was pregnant with number three.

But, I have to say, I'm soooo glad we didn't quit. I'm glad that we BOTH matured. We are so happy and love one another a bunch. It's well worth it to hang on there and find out how to reach that light at the end of the tunnel. We have friends from our church we attended at the time that helped us walk through our issues. My advice is to find others... learn, grow... set boundaries.

We BOTH changed, but we didn't change at the same time., that's another thing to remember. Watch the movie Fireproof and try doing the Love Dare. Give her a reason to want to change and be with you.

Great advice never give up and you be the one to change, we can only change ourselves and if we really look at ourselves we are not prefect either. Fireproof was such a good movie I think the way we treat others sometimes makes them mean and distant but if we decide to act loving and treat others as if they are special we can initiate change in others.

I dont hate my wife, but I hate being married to someone who lies, disagrees with everything, is controlling and doesnt listen at all. I repeat everything! She asks me a question and doesnt listen to the answer and then asks me several more times. She also has a convenient memory. I can go on and on. Her family moved in with us, though I told her that before the move happened we need to lay down some guidelines and expectations. That never happened and now they live here, her 29 year old brother doesnt work. (For 2 years) He is looking for the perfect job. Instead of working at Mcdonalds. They just sit in their rooms all day and only come out when I leave. Actually he finally left, he took his moms car (she let him). Now we are stuck with her, and she has no transportation. Any effort to discuss her moving ends in an argument between my wife and mom or sometimes the 3 of us. My wife complains that her Mom is stubborn and impossible to talk to, but they are just alike! They act like children and cant have a normal discussion without getting defensive. We did counseling and she barely tried what was suggested. She is nice, she does stuff for me, and I do things for her, but that will never change her controlling, manipulating, lazy and dishonest ways. I am now seeing all the things that she hid when we were dating. They are all coming out now that we are married. Her friends all disappeared, we are unequally yoked, and when I try to bring up a subject and have conversation, she has nothing to add. I have always wanted kids and now I dont think we will because Im afraid that I will be doing everything. Her mother never taught her to do anything, cook, clean, she was spoiled and always got her way. I want to do what is right by staying married, but its bringing the worst out of me. I have never felt further from God. Her commitment to God isnt as strong either because the way she was raised. She doesnt have one single christian friend that is her age. Even though I have tried to build relationships that she can have in her life, she is uninterested because they dont share the same tastes. Everyday is a struggle and I cry daily. My life isnt what I wanted, I feel like I was tricked into falling in love because she covered up all of these traits. They were there, but she never showed them. She also is horrible with money, makes more than me and rides me for not making more or if I make a purchase. So we had to split finances. Now i struggle while she is comfortable. I had my concerns but was to afraid to call off the wedding, now i regret that everyday. My only hope is to dive into the word and pray that the return is soon. Im afraid that Im displeasing God everyday with the way I handle this marriage. Dying to myself in this marriage means losing every part of myself that I have cultivates over the years.

Sounds a lot like my wife but she openly says she will kill herself if I left so she can guilt me into staying but I don't stay for her personally if I could I would help her kill herself but she would undoubtably take our son with her she has said if we were to divorces he would stop working just to make it more difficult. Then 15 minutes later she wonders why I don't want to be any where near her

Yup - mine threatens to call the police and frame me - [because it works at stopping me dead in my tracks!] - horrendous.

make a covert audio recording of this woman .... complile many hours so patterns emerge

So so useful

Trust me man. You are in good company. We all ended up looking at your post because we fell in love with this type of woman and then as things unraveled, we end up here. My situation is no different. Would never leave on account of our amazing children. Love thm more than life itself and would never give her the pleasure of taking any of my time with them away (let alone the place I built for for us). You hang in there buddy!!!

Many people are involved and married to people, or a person like this...I hope you get out before you have children

Why the Hell did you ever date or marry a person like that? Just divorce. Document as much dirt as possible over the next 6 month to a year and then take it to a divorce attorney.

I think you are talking about my wife. I didn't even know she had another husband.

Marriage laws need to change if families are going to make it in America. Don't anybody kill yourselves, God doesn't give you anything you can't handle. I have three girls and they are the only thing keeping me here. I have to stay because with the exception of my wife, her mother, sister, and niece are benefit sucking leaches. I don't want my kids around that or even think its ok to live off the government. I do hate this woman like you can't believe but 2014 will be my year. Physically, spiritually, financially, and professionally. Get a goal or a second job anything to keep you away from that life sucking thing called a wife

I don't get it -- so many selfish, nasty wives. I say we get far too hung up on them, I spoke with some stranger the other day who told me he split up with his girlfriend 6 months ago and he"s been so depressed. Boo bloody hoo. Why are we men such a bunch of wimps? Don't expect respect from your woman if you don't respect yourself. Be selfish and you decide what's right and wrong in your relationship. Tell her how its gonna be, and don't avoid the conflict unless you want her to continue stomping all over you.

Look what feminism has done to this world....
Google angry harry and you will see feminism in its true light

I work 4 hours a day and make 1/2 million a year, am physically fit, have almost no hobbies for my wife to compete with, am easy to get along with. And my wife is a carbon copy of the comments above ...

Self centered
Hypocritical (yells "don't yell at me" when I am not yelling)
Disinterested in my life
Ungrateful acting (pays lip service to me being provider if I press it)
Two-faced (friends would be shocked)
Finds fault with everything
Destructive to everything
Moody at the drop of a hat
Obliviously unaware
Unapologetic regarding bad behavior
Hypersensitive (everything is a problem)
Control freak (gun issue)
Berating and abusive "your word is ****."
Debilitatingly worries about everything.
Blames her misery on me (takes no responsibility)
Has no hobbies
Claims she has no time for anything, yet wastes inordinate time on ****
Controlling and manipulative (if you don't like me, divorce)
Apathetic and uncompromising

I left her about 7 years into out currently 15 year marriage and it destroyed her. She "changed" and I took her back. Now we have a beautiful 2 year old boy (5 rounds of IVF later because she blew 8 years in school and postponed a family until it was virtually too late). We are together, I am miserable, think it would be so nice to kill myself, but would never ever do that to my son (but would relish the shock on her face). I'm stuck.

Maybe she needs to be left again until she stops all the bullshit. At least it worked once. As for me, if I told her to get out she would divorce me and I would lose everything and be below the poverty line, so I have very few options. You make enough where her taking half wouldn't be as bad. We are still together and I'm miserable, as you say. I made a very bad choice for a wife, a mistake I will pay an eternity for. Men should be able to fight back when faced with this ****. Since we make all the money in the family, it only makes since that we should control the money. It feels like I work and bust my *** for nothing, just handing over money and a nice life to an ungrateful, immature, stupid ( and the rest that you have listed) *****.

What the hell do you do that you only work 4 hours a day and make half a million a year that's what I need a job like that so I can have a hobby to get the hell away from the satin spawn that is my ***** of a wife and just so you know killing your self is not the answer just hang in there we all need troopers like you to keep us going it's the knowledge that you Share with the world that you survived and how is what's stopping others from killing themselves by thinking they can do that too and everyone can you all have the power to make the difference in your own way you don't need to save the world to be a hero just save yourself

sometimes if one person decides to implement change your whole world can become different. I'd say go out buy her a bunch of flowers take her to a movie or just write simple notes about her the things that are good for everyone has negative but you can find positives if you look hard enough. Don't give up keep trying to show her love even when she pushes it back in your face keep trying its worth it she will eventually realize you are being nicer then her and she will change. Our behavior can and will change the behavior of our spouses. If we choose to be crabby and unkind then we will get crabby and unkindness back but if we choose to be kind loving selfless you will see a whole new person emerge over time. I wish you luck!

Sounds so much like what I am going through, feel ya bro! BTW what do you do for a living making that kind of money with those kinds of hours?

I am from Ireland and I am a woman. I have never heard of so many spoilt selfish women in my life. I really do sympathize with you. You should be out have a bit of crack (Fun) together. She needs to loosen up and become childlike in a positive way. Good luck

I understand you must feel like an ******* for taking her back. Get out now. It's all you can do.

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I am in the same boat as you. My girlfriend is selfish, lazy and manipulative. Every day is a stress of some kind, if there is a day that goes by without her upsetting everyone then its rare. I am at my wits end, I am stressed cant relax anymore and really cant cope. I feel trapped and depressed :(

What is the matter with you? Break up with her. Why do you and so many others cling to people just because you spent a lot of time with them? If my girlfriend made me feel like she had wasted all the time I had been with her the word hate would not begin to properly describe what I would feel for her.

Let me tell you why - these women have some wonderful qualities 90% of the time that surpass other women we have met. Initially the 'bug' in her system is 1% and over time it grows... eventually we are trapped... and even then wrestle with the pros/cons analysis day and night. Also, trying to 'fix' the problem/ hope it just goes away is so much more attractive than pouring away x years of your life and trying to find someone else to marry and put up with 'us'!

she loves her-self a lot more than you. get the hell out.

You not alone mate. same here.

Im in the same situation as you bro. I have married my wife for the past 4 years. dated for 3 years. If only i knew what will be coming i very much regret marrying her. The warning signs are all out when i first met her. shes having a baby with some older guy who used her as a **** buddy. then she got hit by some guy too. i pity her and let her stay with me. she has been a mental case saying her parents want to control her life. i thought life has been hard on her and i was out of love. in the beginning it was good but she had relapses and always seem to hurt everyone around her. she never cleans the house and messes her stuffs and never bother to buy food for me while ahe wants to be treated like a queen asking me buy this and that. i relented and her parents coaxed us to get married. my bor and mom knew instantly shes the wrong chapter but im too blinded by my love as shes giving me tons of affection then between her lapses of craziness. i thought i can take it. im a man and thoughy i can take responsibility. cut the long story short. i wasted my money time and effort while she gave nothing in return..shes selfish with her money and bought all sorts of rubbish for herself and enjoyment. Im really stupid thinking marriage can change her but she kept complaining. talking bad for my mum. shes ill.with cancer and cough and she calls her a witch and hated my best bro who she say was using me. in the end she met a ****** up boy 6 years her junior and now they have sex and calla each other baby. when i msg her she reply aloof and sacasticly. im really fed up and wants to divorce but i dun wan her to be beart brokened. She hides her affair from me and lied but i still found out. my bro say im hopeless and told me to kick her out. Our new house ia on the way. should i divorce or stay. right now im trying to keep fit and i showwd less affection to her.

lol dude I honestly feel like I wrote this. i have the same issue but I have some kind of thing in me that remains humble time after time of disrespect. I havent figured it out yet but eventually it wears out and you start looking for other things to make you happy. Have you tried talking one on one with her to see why shes like this? A good heart to heart talk can be helpful. No tv or anything and relay your feelings to her. If she really loves you she will change for you and acknowledge your feelings and I hate to say it but if she doesnt you cannot have that kind of strain on yourself. Its not healthy.

Thank you for sharing. Your ordeal is hopefully behind you. I believe your wife is a Borderline Personality at a minimum as my wife mirrors your wife and she is Borderline. You can't have a future with a Borderline except one of being very lonely. As a man we like to fix things but a Borderline isn't repairable without more luck and money than odds of winning in Vegas.

I was once with a creature like this. It was a dark and scary time. Never plan on putting myself in such situation again.

Dude, I lived with a chick for 4 years....she didn't do ****, never cleaned, picked up after herself, didn't share the rent, food cost etc. she even had the nuts to say she was hungry on a Saturday morning and waited till I got up to cook. What a waste of time and she was freaking lazy like no one I've ever seen in my life! Zero respect.

Wow... I could have written this. I am starting to think all women are inherently this way, which is why I am in my thirties and no where near marriage. If any of you meet a woman to the contrary (that is, a rational, reasonable, accountable, thoughtful, caring adult human being with a vagina) please email me.

Thank you to all the guys who have posted on this thread. It is quite therapeutic to know I'm not the only one who is trapped in a bad marriage with crazy woman. I have been married for ten years and have a beautiful ten year old daughter. Before and during her period my wife is a nasty, vindictive, spiteful, hateful and angry person. After her period, for around 10 days she is the woman I fell in love with. However she is so nasty for the other 20 days in the month I cant take it anymore. I've put up with it for many years and have tried everything to change her ways. I've stood up to her, argued back, tried to discuss things but she will not or cannot see any wrong in what she does or says. She will never admit she is wrong. Because of this we never talk about issues anymore. There is no point because she will never consider anyones point of view other than her own. She never apologies and will try to lay any blame on me. So over the last couple of years I decided that the best thing to do is to simply not say anything. When she rants and raves over the most trivial of things i don't respond. I just sit and listen or walk out the room. Now this has been hard. When someone is criticising you and calling you names you just want to lash out but ive taught myself to bite my lip. The main reason I do this is because my daughter has been witness to years of her vile comments and I figure that damage limitation is the best way to protect my daughter from any further mental damage. My wife doesn't care if my daughter can hear what she is saying. The other night we had a huge row where my wife ended up hitting me repeatedly (as she has done many times over the years. Yes I have hit her to but she has always stuck the first blow). The row was over the fact that my wife needed some help with a Word document. I said 'do i get a kiss in return' and she flew of the handle. Yes it really is that bad. I closed the living room door so my daughter couldn't hear. If course my idiotic wife then opened the door and my daughter heard everything. I went upstairs and the little angel was sitting on her bed sobbing. Seeing her like this just broke my heart - again. I haven't been the perfect hubby but she is a psycho. I could give you a thousand examples of crap over the years. I don't see my friends anymore because she would start arguing if I came home too late. However her 'too late' is everyone elses too early. I just can't be bothered with the hassle of explaining where im going, what im doing, who I was with blah blah. She hates the fact I work with women and i may actually be friends with them. She went ballistic when I once had a completely innocent text from a colleague. She accused me of having an affair with her. Once I plucked up the courage to take her to a works party. When I saw my work friends I gave them a hug. She went absolutely mental saying I fancied them etc. Idiot. Her new thing is that she hates the fact I go to watch sport and she resents the fact im at the match for a few hours whilst she is at home. Anyway, why dont I leave her you ask? Well I dont want to spend a day away from my daughter it would break my heart. We also have around 10k of debt that I could not afford to pay if I was living by myself. But I have a plan. The day my daughter turns 18 im gone. She can have the house I don't care. Im off and im going to find a woman I actually get on with and I will start my life again. Ok ill be nearly 50 years old but im hoping fate will give me a break and cut me some slack.

being nearly 50 and happy will be worth leaving my husband just left me after 30 years of marriage. he says he wasnt happy either i was alot of the problem but i hate that he wasnt happy. it really breaks my heart. i hope you will find happiness bless your daughter

Thanks men. Misery loves company and it helps me know I'm not alone. I think my daughter gave good advice one time when I was particularly upset and she learned about it: build a support network of friends and family that will cheer you when she gets you down. Sometimes when you let your wife just stew in her own juices she will act better, communicate with her better side, even apologize. Chnaces are she actually knows or suspects deep inside she's wrong; don't let your reaction become her excuse.
That will keep you going for a while. Read through this column; it sounds as though there aren't so many good women out there just now. Try to live with it and develop a strategy for the various hellish scenarios that are likely to happen or have happened before. Don't let it get you down; tell yourself she's not worth it and -maybe- she will be one day Understand a little imperfection in yourself but don't give her the excuse of any major outburst. If you do apologize that time so she'll be able to see the problem is in herself. The whole world is making excuses for her; don't make any more but realize she is being brainwashed that women's problems are the fault of men.

I was the selfish and crazy wife and my ex made the mistake of letting me get away with it or storming out. As some have mentioned here, it is important to stand up for yourself - not because you are "the man in the relationship", but out of your own self respect. I lost respect for him because he never stood up to me and when he did, he was so angry and hurtful from letting it build up that he would yell at me at the top of his lungs and call me the worst names - I lost even more respect for him during these episodes because he was out of control of his emotions. So, my advice is to be consistently honest and stern when she behaves in a way that is disrespectful to you and your relationship, while still being loving towards her. Your life is too precious to waste with someone who doesn't contribute to your happiness - but it is a two way street.

Well at least your ex is a piece now....maybe you'll learn to respect yourself in the future.

Hi gettingokwithme,

What you say makes a lot of sense. I agree that it is important to express yourself and respect yourself to stand up for yourself. However, if standing up for yourself always leads to more arguments and hurtful things and does not help in resolving anything, it just seems better to not stand up and make it worse...

Yes, standing up for yourself will lead to more arguments at first, but you see... Women think differently. They will be 'testing' you to see if this is a "one time" thing or if who you really are is that 'strong rock' that they 'think they need' in their head. If you can learn more emotional control and don't let her stupid little painful words affect you, then you 'win' and will have a happier life. Hope this makes sense, it's exactly what I've been experiencing for years until I learned to be "emotionally tough" and got really tough with my boundaries and respect yourself FIRST Always. If the 'wife is really going on and on after months still, then I would just dump her sorry ***, because by then you've become the man many other women would love to have!!

Gettingokwithme; really? You still seem to be one way to me, you never stop to think that he loved you enough to really try to put up with you, try hard to please you, untill you kept pushing and pushing until he just could not stand it, and then probly felt terrible for loosing it, and what you loose respect if he didn't stand up to you, and lose respect when you finaly pushed him to far and did. Maybe you just don't respect men or yourself.

I love this advice! It's so hard for most men to understand what Boundaries Mean and How to Respect Yourself First, when none of this was taught by our Father's of a different generation. The valuable posts from the women on here are courageous and I applaud them for doing so. There is a lesson here guys, Boundaries and Respect for yourself is crucial. Wish there were me relationship coach's for men so we knew we could be more empowered in creating a satisfying relationship for both the woman and ourselves.

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Shouldn't there also be a "woman's side" of the story?
I mean.. why would all these women simply go berserk? There is no smoke without a fire.

You cannot reason with an unreasonable person...i am sure lots of burglars/ criminals etc have another side to their story - why would you want to listen to it?

Daaaamn.. Thats my situation the same way, except add my kids and her kid n makes it worse. Her kid has to be better and she always puts mine down.. I freaking tired of selfish woman to. I almost swear not a decent woman exist these days.. They all want to be like jerseyshore, and all this other crap. Im bout ready to quit myself.


Seeing that this pattern is all over the world makes me want to share my story. I need advice too, but hear me out...My wife of 1.5 years has some of the same behaviors, but its gotten BETTER. Here's the story...

How it started: I met her at 29 when she was having biological fever and wanted to settle down. I also was looking to settle down and thought this woman was smart, fun, and since she went through the same upbringing (divorced parents, raised catholic, same ideas about life and kids and politics and money), we had a great chance.

Her behavior at the start was controlling, she'd demand I'd spent every minute with her (I mistook that for love), talked about her exes IN DETAIL (I reasoned that a lot of couples who want to be open share this). She got a job transfer 3 months after we met, and at the time I was unemployed (I'm an architect) so I was talked into moving for a future (after she basically said she'd give up the job to stay with me if that's what I wanted - love, right?).

A month after we moved, I proposed (5 months in total) and she changed. I kept finding stashes of photos of exes she kept, our communication stopped, she confided that she had lied about her past (her sexual past, she had a miscarriage with a guy who left her behind, and that alot of the things we had in common were lies). I was miserable in a new job I took to keep her happy and was overqualified for, and the drama spilt over when she read my work emails to a female friend asking for advice on what to do, how to open her up, and if I should stay. THAT blowup should have ended us, but I felt guilty for talking about us behind her back and stayed to make us better.

We got married about a year later, after more (but less frequent) instances of talking about her "long lost love", her friends bringing up more of her past in front of me, and her passive aggressive behavior of pouting or crying to get her way (pushing up the wedding, spending $$$$$ on it, etc etc). I loved her, and I still do, but I was staying in the relationship more for loyalty than for love at that point.

By the time we were married for a few months, I was a wreck. I had no confidence in bed (images of her old lovers stories were imbedded into my mind), I was sick of her selfishness (I changed jobs with no support from her, cause I needed to make more $$$ to make her happy), her family adored me but she badmouthed them. And I cut off friends she didnt like in order to make her happier. She treated me with little trust or respect pointing to the time I talked to that girl. I wanted to leave but we got pregnant (her pushing me to have children sooner than I wanted and cried daily until I gave in).

I was miserable. I gambled a bit too much, flirted with girls via email, and watched a ton of ****...anything to get my mind off our sex life and to have fun and get horny without cheating - hoping I would come back around while she was pregnant. She dug through my emails, my account statements, and my phone while I was out of town visiting my sick grandmother and found all of it (i wasn't trying to hide it). I came home to being stranded at the airport and threats of divorce. I apologized, took responsibility for my outlets, and sought therapy. The Therapist sided with me that my behavior was due to her behaviors, and I was not a liar, a cheat, or a gambler. (I haven't done any since - cept the **** :))

She told all of her friends, her family, my family, my friends all the terrible things I did. I am still living with my reputation of being gambler, cheater, liar in those circles and none of them knowing her behavior to cause them (cause she is the best person ever when in public).

HERE"S THE THING: I said **** it. I started fighting back, calling her out on everything, and basically told her I knew she didn't love me and that I wanted out. She IMMEDIATELY started to show signs of improvement. Its like no one ever told her she was an idiot before. She's a smart woman, and she still acts out sometimes (today she wanted a $1,000 lamp when we are saving $$ for our first home), I said no and she threw a near tantrum in the store. After an hour of explaining to me I get what I want ALL the TIME and she never does and that I yelled at her in public (I calmly said no - what a joke), she just let it go. She's realizing she's a complete loon.

MY ADVICE: Tell your wives off ALL the time with HARD TRUTH. You're the man, don't forget that. Eventually they'll get the hint or they won't, but at least you'll feel better about yourselves everyday cause you grew your nuts back. WE have the power. There are plenty of women out there who want a good guy who is a great dad. You are a commodity (there are just as many loon guys out there treating women like **** - yet they always get the great, sexy ones, dont they? Cause they have nuts)

I wouldn't trade the 2.5 years of drama for my little girl, ever. She's so beautiful and smart and she looks so much like me, it makes my wife jealous how much she laughs and smiles for me. I cherish her jealously, my wife realizes more everyday she hit the lotto and is even supporting a major career change I am going through, supporting me rebuilding friendships with those I cut off for her, and is talking things out more every time we have an issue. FIGHT BACK BOYS, FIGHT BACK. She'll either respect you or leave, its a win-win.

I hope you all find the right path, life is too short to compromise on what you need.

I love this advice!! FIGHT BACK, FORGE AHEAD!!! Grow some nuts :))

I really love this advice, I have been learning this the hard way, and it's very much a recent thing. I have only been married two years but was with her for eight years before that. I don't have kids with her but that might be a blessing as I don't think it would be fair to a kid right now. I spent so much time trying the other advice on this page, be nice etc, I spent 90% of this relationship trying to be nice and make her happy, buy her flowers, go on holidays, move out (first time we moved out waaaay too soon and to the other end of the UK) get married (I wanted to but I wanted her to be truely happy first but I thought getting married would make her happy and we could get on with our lives properly.) none of that work's , she doesnt even consider the good in our relationship, its all about the bad times.But something snapped recently, propably the fact I'm to blame for everything and anything, and realizing I can't do anything without her say so. SOD THAT! I've decided to take the bull by the horns, as I said it's a recent thing and this is why I ended up on here, wondering if anyone else was in the same situation. Im 27 which is still young but I dont want to waste any more of my life being pushed around and put down. I am calling her on her **** and I am standing up for myself, and talking to who I want, I know I'm not doing anything wrong in this relationship and I am a very patient guy so I never start an argument and only rarely give her a real reason to argue, but she will find something, or drag up some past mistake. I'm a good guy and deserve to be appreciated the same way I appreciate her, so she can grow up or bugger off, either way my life is no longer on hold.

I see i'm not alone. I got married 13 years ago and have several kids. She's spent all our married life listening to her brothers and sisters (b/s) and her mum. They tell her what to do and how. Anyway, her mum passed away a few years back, and the b/s have been advising her how to do this and that. Of course, naturally, this is my life and my marriage, so what's it got to do with them. Since getting married, i have never had a good days sex. Sex has been absolutely crap. There is no affection in her. When i hug her, its like hugging a tree trunk. When we have arguments, its always been me trying to reconcile, even though its not my fault. She listens to her b/s, and they are a bunch of twats. The other day, we went shopping with the kids. I could see her attitude was turning baad, so i decided to walk slightly ahead. She got pissed off with this, and swore at me in front of my kids and public. I got annoyed, so i returned a few back and told her to go home. But, as she didn't have the house keys, she went to my parents. She came home a little later i got home. The next day, i get a call from my mum asking me why i behaved in such a way. So, i opened up and told the total truth about this lying selfish *****. My mum was shocked. My mum called her the next day when i was at work and gave her some back. Now, my wife is pissed why i had said what i did to my mum. But, its only the truth, and why should i look like the baddy anymore. Her b/s are so selfish also, when their mum was in hospital with cancer, none of them could give a **** about taking time off work or going to see her regular. When she died, they all managed to take about a month off work. But hey, who goes off to celebrate their daughters graduation a couple of weeks later, when their mum has died ? Yes, these are the selfish people i have to deal with, and i want to end my marriage. I'm not afraid of it anymore, as i want a good life, and bring my kids up well. This ***** won't, she's selfish. I should never have married a Pakistani women. Never never never never again. I used to think i'd bring shame to my family, but i think, now all is out in the open, they support me. Up until now, they've been on her side, and didn't know the truth. But, enough is enough and i've opened my mouth and told the truth. By the way, her older sister is divorced, and her other sister got divorced from her first husband, and the second husband nearly divorced her, but she begged him back. He was seeing prostitutes and going on chat lines. I want to shake his hand.

This is a good thread, I'm realizing that there is alot of good guys taking it on the chin for no reason known to me here. Where have all the good women gone....oops, did I say that out loud. I hate sleeping alone....sleeping not

check out taken in hand (google it). unfortunately, we do have certain tendencies as women and some things mentioned here are a big part of them. the bad part is that we are not taught to fight these and resist them to bcome better people. society "empowers" (emboldens) us to express them, to defend them, to railroad others with them. and that is what is wrong.<br />
we need to be taught to be better than our ba<x>se natures....but now religion is out the door, tradition is gone, and so all we have is our own selves and the diva celebrities we see and the fake idea of love on TV and in movies. no one believes in sacrfice, in putting others first.<br />
we need to find a system to fix this.<br />
the husband can either take it on himself, or find a wife who has been brought up religiously/traditionally so she will have internalized these things and know how to behave. ex had the nuts to tell me that my idea of a gf was skewed. Skewed, the fact I thought a gf should since you were living together, share then cleaning, cooking and bills. Otherwise your just a roomie with benefits, and those were limited. Sexplotation at its finest. Just cuz you sleep with the guy doesn't give you the green like to mooch off the guy, and then think he'd fall for marriage -- he's already seeing the future with you and your selfish ways.

After 25 years, I could right you a book. My cup is now full, I tried all the coping mechanisms, drinking too much, absence, indifference, and hiding out in the man cave. There is no making this woman happy. a spade a shovel and move on my friend. Someday someone will clue her in and you will not have spent 25 years with the wrong person. You are not a doormat my man !

Couldn't have put it better for my situation...I have been trying to make my now wife happy for over 5 years now...And I have gone to lengths to do it but everytime it seems to me that there is no making this woman happy...She is selfish and only cares about herself and I am tired of trying being the one to compromise again and again to try and make it work and hoping that someday she will change a wee bit...but I realized sometime back that it will never happen...Problem is that until now, I was afraid of how I will live alone as I have become too dependent on her over the years...I am still afraid but have finally made up my mind that I will always be unhappy with her and need to get away and am figuring out a way to do so...I do not know if I will be able to but after reading all these stories, I realize that I do not want to be the person who is going through this same situation 5, 10, 20,40 years down the line

hey guys any advice on leaving a women without being so caring of her feelings? Trust me i have good reasons to leave. I cant watch the movies i like or even go to the fuckn show without my wife making me turn my head because she thinks im gonna have sex with the movie screen!

Grow a pair and just tell her to "keep the change". Run, don't walk away, she isn't worth the effort or grief regardless of how much you love her, she knows she owns you and has no fear that you'll walk. Man up and walk.

My wife is just as selfish and crazy except not only does she not get along with my family, she cant even get along with her own family! She complans about people at church and quit going, she complains about people at work, nothing is ever her fault its always everyone else's fault she doesnt even know if she wants to be with me anymore. My youngest is 11 and I figure I will try to put up with the crazy ***** for 9 more years and then end it!

Some of these sound a lot like my wife. She has been a miserable ***** for the past decade of marriage. We have gone more than a year at times without sex. She refuses to answer any question I ask, if I sit down in the same room she gets up and leaves. She constantly curses at me and berates me in front of my children trying to solicit a reaction from me. She locks me out of my house when I leave. She has not worked one day since we've been married. She seldom gets out of bed before 10 or 11 am and wears pajamas all day. She gained about 60lbs after I married her. She feeds our children (age 8 and 5) cheezits for lunch, or I come home to a ransacked kitchen where the kids have attempted to cook themselves a meal. She talks on the phone constantly like 12 hours a day to her friends and family and her favorite topic of conversation is what a sorry *** I supposedly am, she talks bad about me on the phone directly in front of me telling lies to her family just to try to get a rise out of me. She has punched me in the balls while I sleep. She has thrown buckets of ice water on me to get me to go sleep on the couch. She cheated on me with a long distance relationship with some unemployed looser she went to high school with, and he came down to see her and they took my kids to the park and took pictures of eachother and drew hearts in the sand with eachothers names etc She came up with a plan to get rid of me. She stole 5 thousand dollars cash from my dresser (to hire a lawyer) that I had from selling a truck that I purchased prior to our marriage, she drained our checking account and I came home to an empty house. 5 minutes later I was served with a restraining order and forced to leave my own home with no where to go and had to sleep in my car at a truck stop. I wasn't allowed to even see my kids and my oldest boy's birthday was the next day. The restraining order had 30 claims against me that were entirely fabricated. With only 50 dollars to my name I had to work day and night and call in favors from friends to come up with enough money to hire a lawyer within the week. Two days before my court date to have the restraining order dropped I get served with divorce papers with a whole new list of claims against me that were utterly ridiculous (and some of them contradicted her claims on the restraining order). When is the date for the divorce hearing? Oh its immediately following the restraining order hearing, so I had 2 days notice to prepare. I got busy and came up with 19 notarized affidavits from reputable friends who not only disputed her claims, but were witnesses to a lot of other stuff, like my our one friend witnessed me trying to give her a hug when I was leaving for work and she acted very nice until I got close enough for her to kick me in the crotch. She claimed that I gave her an STD on her restraining order so I went and got a blood test the very next day and the results finally came back the morning of the hearing that I was 100% clean. A few of our mutual friends called me to apologize that she had told them that she was going to do this to me so that she could get full custody of the kids and move across the country to New York where she is from, but they didn't really think she was serious. It was all planned out to the day. She even pinched the side of her own boob and photographed the small little bruise she caused. Her lawyer took her to meet with the judge to get the restraining order and she had a full opportunity to sit down with this judge and tell him her side of things, now this is the same judge that has to be supposedly impartial in his judgement though I never had an opportunity to see him prior to our hearing. She called our children's elementary school and put me on a no contact list where I was not allowed on school property. When I called the school to get a copy of my son's medical records I was denied and told by the secretary that they didn't want anything to do with me and if I needed anything from them I would have to ask my wife. (No telling what they thought I had done). When my wife saw how prepared I was, she wanted to drop the entire thing, but her lawyer wouldn't let her, instead her lawyer got the judge to begrudgingly postpone the hearing until which time my wife decides to go forward with it. I moved back in, and I get treated like crap everyday of my life. She hates me with a passion. Yet she spends about 700-900.00 of my money every week. Yet if I want to eat, I have to get it myself. Why do I put up with it? I can't afford to start over, she would wipe me out. Oh yeah, all this happened last year. We had sex one time after that and she got pregnant, now we have 3 kids (and its been 16 months since we had sex.) She has now found new friends and she goes out with them like twice a week until 1 or 2 am and leaves me at home with the kids. She has started smoking again which I really dislike. I don't smoke or drink, i basically just work usually about 80 hours a week. She hangs up on me every phone conversation we have. She tells me that she wishes she would have left and how marrying me was the worst decision of her life. She has pulled a knife on me when I tried to hug her as she was washing some dishes, and I think she is totally capable of stabbing me in a rage because she looses control of her actions. She has never apologized for anything ever, and she plays the poor little me I have things so tough role with all of her friends because she likes the attention and pity. She also likes turning people against me by posting ridiculous lies on her facebook page, but if i comment to defend myself she will just erase my comment and block me. I am a shell of who I once was. I have forgotten what its like to be happy. But I cannot leave my kids with this person. I have to be strong and turn the other cheek daily for their sake. If I were to leave, then I would be abandoning them with no one to really make sure they are taken care of and that they know right from wrong. So I come home to a very dirty house. Stinky baby diapers, food all over the floor, dog mess, etc. and I just have to clean everything silently. I have the patience of Job, but I dream that one day when my kids are old enough not to be brainwashed by her, one day I will have saved enough money hidden away, that I can afford to leave and not live in a shack. That I can leave and buy a place nicer than the house we now live in. Like the movie The Count of Monte Cristo, I just dream that something good will one day happen and I can afford to get away and take the kids out of this hell hole as well. It sounds really bad, but sometimes I think that I wouldn't be at all surprised if she died, not that I would wish that on her, but it just seems like maybe God would say enough is enough if this is how your going to act towards others.

I been with this woman for six years we have two beautiful daughters 4 and 18 months, I have a daughter from a previous relationship that lives with me she is 9 now, she was 3 when I started this relationship, I been dealing with her self centered childnes attitude from day one, in the beginning I overlook the facts letting my infatuations for her lead the way that now I reegret, some how I have been trap in the role of being the bad guy, she had talk down bad on me to her family that everyone hates me, she had sound like the victim and continuously keeping making treats of suicide when I speak my mind about the selfish inmature personality that she have, she is everything for my daugthters, they love her some much, I don't want to split the girls apart, but things keeping going worst everyday, her needs and feelings are the only things that matter to her, she uses the fact that she have to deal with the kids and the house shores despite that she is not the greatest house keeper to be in a bad mood, long story short, I'm miserable with her, she sucks as a partner, she has no clue about anything that has nothing to do with soapoperas or cloths and shoes, I can't keep a conversation with her because she doesn't know what I'm talking about, if I say anything that hurt her feelings she talks about suicide, she had taked pain pills with alcohol to past out and disconect herself from the problems thaat she created.<br />
here is the punch line, I'm not married to her,I own my own business and make very good money, she does not work, she depends on me 100% and then she still not getting the fact that I'm put up with her behavior. The only thing is keeping me from making a drastic descicion is my girls, I don't want to break them appart,

Dude, wise up! Your her paycheck, nothing more. She popped out a couple of kids are her security blanket, she owns you and she knows it. Leave while you still have some respect, the kids would be better off -- fight for custody and leave the user.

Mr. myrtlethyme are you still with your wife or have u managed to divorce her.<br />
Please do tell us. My wife's behaviour is exactly the same as your wife. I really wanna know what action have you taken against your wife.<br />
I also want to take some decision soon.

SOMEONE FROM PAKISTAN: here we go, for a second I thought you are married to my Wife, what the hell...........Seriously i cannot stand this woman and I just need to figure it out, what to do to her....but unlke you i always mentally punish her, if I'm not happy, why she should be.FULL STOP

Some sanity: admit to yourself that although you are a genuine soul, you just were lacking in some way to let your wife spin off so terribly. That's it. I went through many years of wondering all sorts of things...all of them bad...but just became stoic about the situation. I stopped blaming her and everything else and just decided to answer each question to friends, family and strangers (like you) that: "I guess I was an inadequate husband." Note I didn't say "BAD" husband. I was maried to a selfish, lying, duplicitous cheat...everyone knows this...and it infuriates the woman that she isn't getting a sadistic feedback from her cruelty.'s the truth...I MUST have been inadequate in some way. Climb up onto the moral high ground and stay there...

But then you take the fault even if it may not be yours and this approach may lead her to blaming you even more as she knows that you will just say that maybe you are inadequate and thus instead of changing, she will just become worse...

Just stumbled over this site after I googled : "i am married to a horrible woman'. We ARE in the midst of a divorce (thank ye olde gods) but share the same house for half the week. We were supposed to make it amicable...but it isn't. With every snide, demeaning comment she comes up with I am ever more grateful that we are soon "done". It took me about 12 years to get the nerve to split up...the kids were minors. But it's all for the better. The long and the short of it awful as I once felt...I am now breathing easier, am more posiitive about everything, and hopeful about the future. Although we are "stuck" thanks to the depressed housing the inevitable end comes closer and closer...she gets more mean and vindictive...all to my eye-opening joy. WHAT a piece of work this woman is. GOOD LUCK to the next sucker.

Just to add some flavor to the discussion....<br />
<br />
My wife is also controlling and a nightmare. Always starting an argument then complaining about arguing, consistently coming up with crazy expensive plans that if I don't instantly rave about cause an argument, whining about everything in life, using all her manipulative skills to try to get what she wants.<br />
<br />
Complete selfish hypocrite. Only upside is that she is so crazy that it is funny.<br />
<br />
Check it. I'm in the army, stationed at the language learning ba<x>se in California. Everyone agreed that learning Chinese while being in the army is stressful?(Reasonably). My wife, unemployed while with me here in Cali, decided that living here was too stressful and decided to move back home. Even though I cooked the meals, cleaned the house, and did my job.<br />
<br />
This literally happened. Saturday night at 10:00 pm after a training day that started at 4:30 a.m.<br />
<br />
Me: Man am I glad today is over. I'm beat.<br />
Her: I didn't make any dinner, I'm sorry, I'm just so depressed. <br />
Me: Thats ok, I'll heat up the meal I made yesterday.<br />
Her: I want to go back home and live with my parents. I just feel so unfulfilled here. I can't find a job, maybe I will there.<br />
Me: Um. Yeah, we only have another five months until we move back home....<br />
Her: So you could manage without me?<br />
Me: Sure....<br />
<br />
This is even better. For Christmas leave I didn't go home, not because I didn't want to see her but cause I have a test next month and want to prepare. Glad I didn't!<br />
<br />
She drained the bank account early December. Because of having no money because she spent it all, I recommended that we have Christmas when I get back home, three weeks after Christmas. She agrees. I ask her to send me a package of Christmas goodies that her mom baked (we can't eat them all she said). Two days later she calls me, puts me on speakerphone and asks me if I am sending her a package. No, we are going to have Christmas in January, right? No money to even buy you something. Her mom starts in and I tell her to take me off speakerphone. I'm annoyed, she acts all innocent, and I tell her not to put me on speakerphone around her family. She gets mad because I don't want to talk to her whole family on speakerphone, argue argue argue hang up.<br />
<br />
This is the whole point of the story though, the icing on the cake. My wife has long blonde hair, looks great. Well that night after she took a shower and thought that her hair was too tangled. So, she cut it. All the way down to the middle of her neck. She knows I like her hair, too. Well, liked.<br />
<br />
At 200 a.m. I get a text. It says "BTW I chopped my hair. I want to be as ugly as possible so you won't want to be with me. I'm also going on a special get fat diet."<br />
<br />
Oh, I'm planning my escape. The problem with these women is that they are crazy. That's it, just crazy. Basically they invent their own logic to justify inadequacies and mistakes rather then make healthy and rational decisions to improve.<br />
<br />
We all married women with the emotional maturity of 4 year olds!

Your story is almost identical to mine. And her behavior is identical to my wifes. Life with a person like this is a living hell. Someone who can never be wrong, who can never look at any flaw they might have, who constantly looks at the negative side, who only shows her true self to their spouse.<br />
<br />
Constantly analyzing me and talking down to me, turning it around so that I'm the source of her crazy behavior, I make her act this way.... Always critical of my kids - but hers can do no wrong. <br />
<br />
It's hard to explain to someone how bad a situation like this can be. And I get tired of the people that say "well you should have known she was like this before you married" and "well why don't you just leave her". Romantic idealistic things to say, but reality is much tougher.

I hate to sound like a male pig, but some women are simply and totally insane. What I mean by that, is they are hopeless in reasoning with and saving. Most likely, a brainwashed princess, who generally only look favorably on things with selfish reasons. These types of women only change when things hit them head on in life. They don't appreciate people, until they are dead or gone. If they don't like someone, for example you now, they will not compromise themselves to make the relationship easier. The key sign of a woman like this is, the inability to apologize. If they can't say they are sorry, your doomed. If you don't have kids; GET THE HECK OUT OF THERE. I REPEAT. DO NOT PASS GO, JUST RUN FROM THESE SELFISH WOMEN. Maybe by 80 years old, after life has thrown them through the ringer, they will come around. What I'm saying is, women like this are a very long work in progress. They lack developed people and social skills others have by marriage time. The main skill, is compromise...<br />
<br />

You hit the nail on the head...Compromise is the key and some of these women just do not know what that is

I hate to sound like a male pig, but some women are simply and totally insane. What I mean by that, is they are hopeless in reasoning with and saving. Most likely, a brainwashed princess, who generally only look favorably on things with selfish reasons. These types of women only change when things hit them head on in life. They don't appreciate people, until they are dead or gone. If they don't like someone, for example you now, they will not compromise themselves to make the relationship easier. The key sign of a woman like this is, the inability to apologize. If they can't say they are sorry, your doomed. If you don't have kids; GET THE HECK OUT OF THERE. I REPEAT. DO NOT PASS GO, JUST RUN FROM THESE SELFISH WOMEN. Maybe by 80 years old, after life has thrown them through the ringer, they will come around. What I'm saying is, women like this are a very long work in progress. They lack developed people and social skills others have by marriage time. The main skill, is compromise...<br />
<br />

I don't understand why people stay and be so miserable. Either stay and deal with it or change your situation.

You must be very young? A strong secure personality? No health problems? Or financial worries? It's easy to say, "just get out" but walk a mile in my shoes and you may change your mind.

After reading everyone's comments about their experiences, I had one as well. I was with a woman who was selfish and a liar to boot. She certainly did a number on me for the first year of our relationship, called relationship. I would speak from my heart, it would turn into a fight and she was out the door. I took her back many times. In my eyes, there was noone else on this god forsaken planet that would ever stand up to her beauty wise. I realize now that beauty is only skin deep. I wish that I left a VERY LONG time ago. I've read a lot on the internet about depression and how to cope with depression. I realized that she was the one who was depressing me and my medicine was to leave. We had a time share together in Daytona Beach, FL that we went to twice a year, once in April and in July during my birthday. One night, she decided that she wanted to go out with a group of her friends who also had time shares down there. The day before this, we had a blow-up and some true feelings came out causing us not to talk for the entire next day. Well, to make a long story short, I asked her not to go out with her friends and to stay and talk about our relationship. She wanted nothing to do with helping. I warned her that I would take a bus home if she left. Well, she did and I wasn't there when she returned. It was probably the best decision that I have ever made. I miss her, well.....our good times which were not that many. I constantly think about her, who she's with, what she's doing blah blah blah. I have heard that time heals all wounds, but for me....time never heals. Suicide? It definately crossed my mind a few times, but I had to be strong and move on with my life because I have a ten year old who unfortunately went through my relationship with me. Some women just plain SUCK!

I hope you are doing better now and moving on in life...Time does not heal anything or maybe it does if we give it long enough

I was surprised to read the question. I am in exactly similar situation. My wife behaves exactly the same way as mentioned in the question. My problem is that in India divorce is not possible unless its by mutual consent and my wife raises a storm whenever I talk about divorce. She starts shouting loudly and warns me that she will never give me a divorce. My health is deteriorating. We married 10 months back and dont hv children.

Similar situation buddy...Hope you are in a better situation now

If she is young now, it will get worse as time goes by. Leave before it is too late as it can develop into full blown psychological disorder at later stage of her life. Normal people don't behave like that. <br />
When you tell her that you are leaving she might try to stop you and start showing affections suddenly and weaken your knees but be strong!! You will not regret it.<br />
I am on the same boat as yourself but I left it for too long hoping that things will will be better. It will not I am telling you!!


It's nice to see I am not alone dealing with a selfish and childish woman. My wife got fired over 2 years ago from her great job because she was drama at work and finally they got sick of it. She parties like there is no tomorrow with her gossiping loser friends and requires a large amount of (my) money each month to survive. The only though in her head is is herself and only pretends to care about me when she knows I'm losing my patients. So there is much more to the story... I'm done, that's why I searched and found this inspiring blog. I am now going to plan my exit strategy.

oh ****, reading all this kinda scares me. it actually scares the living daylights out of me.<br />
i love my girlfriend very much, but she is the same as all your wives. she really wants us to have kids and so do i. i know onece we have kids i m stuckwith her for life. i love her so much<br />
give me some advice

Mine wants kids too... never give in to an ultimatum if you don't want the same.

Gordon, there are other people in the world. Our culture focuses way too much on romance and marriage, and not enough on friendship. Far better to be single, give that relationship a rest.

i think you should seriously check out the taken in hand way of being married. i am a woman and i know it actually is needed. maybe not the full degree that some couples go to, but the man being boss, putting his foot down, and not taking nonense. a lot of women smarten up when handled with a little tough love. unfortunately, they did not get this kind of thorough upbringing from their parents.
sorry, but you will have to be a bit of a parent to her at least at the start. explain to her what you are doing, so she doesn't cry foul and think it's abuse or meanness, and she will hopefully respond and flow with it.

I am also in the similar situation. My wife is especially selfish when it comes between my family and her family. She only treats her family as family and my family as strangers, and I'm stuck with living close by and seeing my in-laws every day. She also loves to intiate an argument when I make a comment on anything that she dislikes. She's also very lazy and refuse to do any housework. I work full time and I have to do all the housework. From throwing away her hair that get accumulated for weeks in the tub, to vaccuuming and yard work. I tried to dump her numerous times when she was still my girlfriend but I took her back everytime after she cried her lungs out. I was wrong, indeed very wrong. Eventually we got married and now have two boys. The only reason I'm staying with her is because of my kids. I love my kids so much that i don't want them to grow up in a divorced family. I regretted marrying her so bad. I wish I could go back in time and dump her again. But now that I have two beautiful kids, there is no escape for me. My life is totally screwed and I'll just have to accept that.

i feel u totally man, except my wife does clean and cook. but there is more to it than that. i mean whats good for the wifes is just as good for the husbands. i too have two kids, and they are my life. im afraid that if i did get a divorce she would run away with them and not ever let me see them. i want it to work. but i am tired of living a sad life.

Wow...reading about you guys makes me feel how similar my story is...The only difference is that we do not have kids yet because she is scared of having them and does not ever want to while I love kids and want to have a family of my own someday....But then now, I am glad that we do not have kids as I would never have been able to take some steps that I know I need to....

I am in the same situation. I am 32 years old, I got married two years ago, and I have no kids. I really think about the divorce, but I don't want to hurt her. She is like children. I feel leaving her is like leaving a lonely child in a big city. In addition, I don't know how to start it.<br />
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I don't know what to do. I really appreciate your advice.

nashe a wise man would leave. think with your head not your heart. it better hurt now and for a year than to stay and live misrable all you life. once you have kids it will be 2 hard to make that call. i am 32 and have a 2year baby and man how much i wish i if could rewind time back. I swear I would gladely pay 20 years of my life just to go 2 years back.. RUN AND NEVER LOOK BACK WHILE YOU CAN!!!!!!!!

I am in a similar situation as nashe...Thanks for the advice skyhavenolimit...It is just that I am so used to her now that I am scared of being alone...

Run!!!! and don't look bad. You don't have kids. WTF are you waiting for? Save you sanity man.