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My Wife Is Getting Fat

my wife is gaining weight every year. she is 5' tall and probably now 135lbs. when i first dated she weighed a 100lbs. i dont want to have sex with her, i dont want to even look at her. we have been married for two years and she has gained that weight in those two years. i knew that would happen and yet i went along with the marrage.

johnston123 johnston123 31-35 46 Responses Nov 24, 2008

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I'm sure your horrible behaviour has nothing to do with it. Just blame her.

She really isn't that over weight but having said that why don't you stop complaining and do something about it? Like go for walks, do couples fitness classes, healthy cooking classes? Get her excited about health and try not to make her feel bad about herself because you don't want her dying over an eating disorder.
You know what I'd freaking love? A treadmill in front of my tv! Hahaha best present ever! And I'm sure my husband would buy it for me because he enjoys being healthy and me being healthy.

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I have read all the comments from men. i have gained 50lbs. from what I have seen on the internet in general is that we have zero worth beyond being skinny. its not like i gained on propose. I got a high up desk job and am the sole bread winner. I also keep my house spotless. after seeing what men really think about women... I give up. .... Im killing myself tonight so he doesnt have to live with a fat cow. thank you and goodbye.

No reason to kill yourself. There are men out there that will support you no matter what. I've been overweight, heathy weight and thin before. If any man said anything about my appearance I would leave him right away. I work out daily for myself, my children and my man. I jog about 10 miles a day and my body is still not perfect although my weight is healthy. But I know if I was bigger and he disapproved for any reason other then my health I would be gone. I left my daughters father after working out like crazy and losing the baby weight after having our 9 pound child to have him tell me he would have never been with me if I looked like that in the first place even though my fat percentage and weight were less then when we met because I had stretch marks and a little loose skin. People like that are not worth you time and concern. And like I said not all men are like that. Have some confidence in yourself. You don't need anyone that makes u feel less then beautiful. And who the heck cares what all these strangers say?

I also want to add that the same man I left for his stupid comments has yet to date a more fit woman then I was and still am. Karma is a *****!

As a tall girl(5' 8") it has always been pointed out to me that when I felt insecure about my height, that short girls turn into fat little squares(ESPECIALLY after kids) I also find once someone is bogged down by weight and fueling themselves with junky food they become lazy.It also has alot to do not only with physical traits but attitude.If your not a driven/ambitious person it's more likely you'll "suck at life." As a successful in shape woman I simply don't understand these lazy sods.It's good you don't point it out or make Her feel bad, but seriously introduce healthy/good food and take long walks or bike together! My Mom is obese and it seems if She won't do anything or acknowledge it, trick Her.Do activities together to get Her moving and throw out or severely decrease junk food in the house.Besides sex is great! Why the hell would you put yourself in the position to mess up your sex life by becoming less attractive!? That's reason enough to get fit.Feel better and enjoy more *******!

ok you high and mighty *****

Karyn666 There is no need to call me a *****! I'm not going to qpologize for my opinion. Not to mention, yes I care about my health and take care of myself, so sue me. That and respectfully you can go jump in a lake.

ok you high and mighty *****

I can understand the fact that you would hate having a fat wife. I am not saying that you shouldn't get annoyed!! But, you married her for who she is!! You married her cause you love her!!! Otherwise, you shouldn't be dumping her so easily!! She is not a toy!! She is a human being!! If you were fat, and she thought of you in this same way, how the heck would it feel ?? This is disappointing!! To think that men or most of them to leave the ones they married just for this reason...

When I married my wife two six years ago she weighed 135 pounds and her height is 5'8". She now weighs 214 and we do not have children. I workout 4 to 5 days a week and keep myself in great shape. I was concerned with her weight and wondered how i could make this a positive for the both of us and I came up with a real simple solution.

What I have been doing is tickling her in the bedroom. Sometimes I tie her up and sometime I don't and it has been a huge turn on for the both of us. Watching her loose her mind and knowing that I am strong and hard and she is warm and soft balances everything out.

Go figure.

Divorce and move on dude. Women need to finally realize that men are predatorial and need a constant reason to stick around.

I wish my fat wife was that thin.

My wife is just 4'5" and was 95 pounds when we married and was sexy and sweet until about six years ago. Now she close to 175 and just sits around. We don't have sex anymore. Because she's not happy with her body. After 20 years of marriage I weigh the same as the day I got married. Oh believe me I've tried everything women say to do. She is not into any kind of excerise. I do not say hurtful things about her weight or her loss of willingness to work on getting in shape.
I am lonely because she wants to stay at home and sit on the couch.

my wife turned to someone fat after marriage..i tried everything to make her understands that ..i might just leave her for that one day..maybe u call me coward or something but i've been standing in this from 12 years now..nothing change..she's not elephant..to be honest..she just lost her good body i loved before marriage..and now every girl grabs my attention..and i say inside my heart.." why baby u left me drifting like this..looking here or there..while i love u ..only..and need no body else but you..
sometimes i think maybe if i leave her ..for a time she'll control herself and turn back cool..
but i pity her ..and i pity myself when alone too..cuz i,m gonna suffer as well..

135? Wow. That too skinny for me.

You're not married to Holli Schmitt are you? Oh wait, you said she only weighs 135. Nope, can't be her.

I hear what yer sayin, my wife is WAY fatter than B4. I lost wieght just to get her to see whats happening. She always asks questions like "do I still look good to you?" No yer fat as sht!!!! but I cant say that, so I just watch her get fatter. Im not gunna leave her because shes gross but I cant say it hasnt crossed my mind.

Gdamnit
Well you should tell her - gotta be cruel to be KIND at times. Besides, marriage is supposed to be based upon honesty. By not telling her how you perceive her, you are being dishonest to both her and yourself.
If she keeps hearing you tell her that she still looks good, how can she even know that she's actually fat and unattractive (to YOU)? Of course she will stay fat and as long as you keep telling her that lie, she will only get fatter!

Stop being such a wimp and do something that just might help BOTH of you.

What I hate is when a dull, judgmental, shallow, narcissistic, vain man comes into my life and tells me I'm "gross." I'm going to be a lot more honest with men from now on. As an act of kindness. For example, if a man has a really small penis I'm going to say "don't bother, I can use my little finger and save changing the sheets." It's your attitude that's gross. Not your wife.

A man cannot help having a small penis (nor a large one for that matter). FAT unattractive frumps however, CAN change if they choose to, rather than pathetically defending their GROSS ugliness with the types of ridiculous, feminist excuses you have offered above.
Don't worry, NO HONEST (nor dishonest) MAN (with a small penis or a HUGE one), would be interested in your FAT, ugly old carcass, nor your feminist indoctrinated, hateful and rotten personality...
They say that BBWs are 'beautiful on the inside'.... You've just demonstrated with your comment, what a LIE that is too.
Have fun with your (FAT) thumb - it's the nearest thing to a penis you'll be enjoying for a while.

Holy **** you completely destroyed LaPasionara40. 👍

Do her a favour. Leave her and find yourself someone thinner. Then pray to God you don't get cancer and put on 100 pounds from steroids. Karma is a *****. If I were your wife I would have left you by now for your vile attitude. You don't deserve a woman; you need therapy.

Hey,......the guy just isn't attracted to fat women, as you're not attracted to guys who have an honest opinion that differs from yours.

I'm sure he's quite happy you aren't his wife.

Dude. You married her. She should be beautiful to you no matter what. it's not like she's obese. She's only slightly over the normal weight bmi for her height. No offense, but I know what I don't want to be like to my future wife.

My wife gained 45 pounds in two years after we moved in together. At first, I didn't know what to make of it, but I found that I liked her shape at her new weight. She was so unhappy and cranky when dieting that I just told her to eat all she wanted and not worry about it. We've been happy together for 14 years but she now weighs over 400 pounds. I guess it's all in your attitude and how you react to things.

"You married her"?
So?

135lbs at 5' tall isn't what the guy signed up for.

Yes, I married her. She was around 175 pounds at the time and just 5'3". Since she was 120 when we met, I guess I knew what I had signed up for. It's all good.

jcruz,
That's YOU, not everyone's attracted to the same things you are...

I get this one... My wife in the early parts of our marriage was 115 pounds and 5'10".<br />
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Now she is 240 and does ZERO to diet or work out. I ended up doing all the cooking (very healthy), but I can't stop her from buying doughnuts and candy bars and ice cream when she is out on her own. I still love her, but don't want a sexual relationship with her anymore! Her has turned repulsive! Just so you know. When we married I was 6'2" and 180 - 35 years later I've gained a total of 9 pounds! <br />
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Women, (and men) do something to improve yourselves! Try looking in the mirror and stop says "I just can't lose weight!) You are lying to yourselves and US!

The sex thing is why she is fat. Sex is a great way to lower stress (no belly fat cortisol), and an absolutely easy, pleasurable way to burn calories. If you had sex with her, she would lose weight.

That's tyhe problem - he can't because she repulses him. Duh......

wow that is so stupid she is only 135 its not like she is 300ibs

Hey! My wife is like 400 pounds. Would that make it OK to dump on her?

It's much toooo late now. You missed your opportunity about two people ago.

I'm with the boys on this one when I first got engaged to my now husband I weighed 70kilos I was 10-15 kilos overweight I felt disgusting and unhealthy and hit the gym and lost 10kilos in 3 months. Speaking from someone's that was a bit overweight I don't understand how these women can let themselves get that fat !! You would normally get to a point and think yuck I'm soo fat I need to do something about it and lose the weight they should be ashamed of themselves there ruining and destroying a perfectly healthy body what a waste. I did the hard work and kept my weight off for 4-5 years I have my ups and downs but would never let myself weigh 70kilos ever again. My health and life are just too important :)

Women are supported by societal opinion these days telling them it is okay to get fat, and that we should love them anyway. What they miss is that getting fat is a statement to their spouse. It says "I don't care what makes you happy." That is a pretty heavy statement, and it can kill a marriage. I always point to the other side... my wife needs me to drive her and her kids around and provide 70% of the household income. It is unthinkable to her that I, as a man, would shirk those responsibilities. Yet all I ask from her is that she take care of herself. Somehow she can demand one but I can't demand the other... and believe me, we will not get much support on that these days. I suggest you make your feelings clear and ask her if it matters to her how she looks to you. The answer will tell you everything you need to know.<br />
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Also, we bear the brunt of the medical expenses when they develop chronic medical conditions, and that can be tens of thousands of dollars. If my wife got fat due to unavoidable conditions beyond her control I could accept that. But when they develop diabetes and high blood pressure because they want to load on the calories and not exercise, that's appalling.

When i met my husband, I was 5'5 and 135 pounds. I got pregnant and swelled up to 200. I let myself eat crap, knowing it was making me fat, but I figured i lost the weight before after my first child i can do it again. My daughter will be 1 in june, and i weigh 145. I still have a ways to go, but i have been working hard at it. I try to stay active, and i know saying this is mean, women on my moms side can be heavy, and i dont want to be. So being a stay at home mom, i am out for walks, cleaning and doing cardio. And my husband and i had our one year wedding anniversary. So men, its not all of us wives.

Cant imagine anyone who doesn't make an effort themselves to keep fit can criticize their wife for gaining weight. <br />
The honest answer here is that anybody who is overweight enjoys eating crap food too much and makes a weak effort at getting proper exercise. Just try to find yourself ONE PERSON you know that is in shape that DOESN'T have to work at it? <br />
Be honest with yourself and your partner.

are you husbands nice and fit? If you are, then at least you have a leg to stand on. If you're fat too though, you should shut up.

fat women smell like rotten cheese and they are just too much to handle.. If you wife is fat and you don't have any kinds, then run away as fast as you can. Just leave, and if you don't your life is going to be hell

@ Katie You appear to be a sexist. Your generalizations give you away. You should work on that. Question - The women who eat like there is no tomorrow. They aren't thinking of themsleves only?<br />
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I can see I am not the only man with this dilemna. It's downright selfish in my opinion for a wife or husband to let themselves go to the point that they are at a grotesque weight not to mention the health implications. Some time ago my wife was slender. Then she developed an appetite and hasn't looked back. She obviously doesn't care much about my point of view or she would not have let her weight get so out of hand. It is depressing for me. I used to enjoy sex but i don't anymore. We are at a point in life where this could cause serious health problems. Furthermore, we are now empty nesters and have the opportunity for romantic get aways. We used to do that. I am not too motivated to plan these adventures anymore. I'd like to tell her that her snacks are of more value to her than our sexual relationship but I know she would not receive it well. As for those who say childbirth or age are responsible for the extra weight I call foul. Question - Can you find me a photo of a fat person that starved to death?

What if it was reversed? How would you feel if the women you were with thoughts of you in the same manner that you are thinking of her? How would you feel....that's right you (men) only think of yourselves never of the other persons.

I would start eating apples for breakfast and I would exercise till I drop dead or lose the weight. Fat people are sick.

Holey cow !! lmaoo , I have to say this whole story experience thing is very interesting . I wonder if my husband had the same thoughts about me after each of my kids I was very over weight , I did take the weight off after each but it did take awhile .. I'm in the right BMI range & run 6 days a week ..Funny thing is my husband never mentioned my weight and we had regular sex like before ... Good luck fellas , sounds like your wives may be as unhappy with you as you are with them .. or they could be depressed or on oral contraceptives , those two things can cause weight gain and loss of libido . Or they could just be lazy ***** , who knows !!

I can sympathize with all you guys I am not much into fat women, been with my wife for 40 years she has been fat for the last 25 years plumped up after she stopped smoking the weight is slowly taking it's toll first her feet (arches began to fall) then her knees began to give trouble, next it will be her hips her mother went this way, it has always been said like mother like daughter, so my advise to you all is look at the mother because what you a going to get is the replica of this! In saying all this I really cant look at my wife with her big fatty apron it turns me right off.

Very true ! Look at the mother !!

If you can't stand it...divorce her or get over it.

brah, I am feeling your pain my wife went from 120 is to like 145 and she is 5'2". It is really gross. I hit the gym about 3 to 4 days a week. On occasion I have gained some extra weight but as soon as it becomes noticeable I will get my life under control and burn it all off quickly. I don;t want to be mean but I don;t like sexing fat girls. It makes me sad.

Buddy are you nuts that is only a 35 pound gain. You are a very shallow person

Women have a total double standard. Food addiction and/or slothness fall into the same category as drug and alcohol addiction. Girlfriends tell girlfriends all the time to leave their man because of his addiction. Time for the girls to get the boot for theirs as well. There are more women than men on the face of the Earth. Sorry, ladies- not everyone is guranteed a husband.

Men also have double standards and well not everyone is guaranteed a wife....

I really don't know what to do. My wife is 5'2" and about 185 lbs. She works sitting down, eats, then lies in bed a couple hours fiddling on the laptop, finally sleeping 12 hours or more.<br />
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I've tried everything including encouraging her to join weight loss and exercise programs, getting upset about it, saying absolutely nothing, making very tiny hints once in a while, complimenting her when she does do some kind of exercise or looks like she lost a few pounds, and telling her directly that I would really like her to lose weight. Nothing works. <br />
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I think it's due mostly to the fact that she has no activites she enjoys or friends she can go walking with or ride bike, etc. For example, I play sports with some friends a few times a week and I also joined a league at work. She can't really do this because of the kind of job she has. She also likes to eat unhealthy food and doesn't like to work up a sweat at all.Unfortunately, this is killing any chance of a happy marriage. I hate spending time with her. All I think about is how fat she is. I know I shouldn't dwell on it, but the way it affects me is to feel like she doesn't care at all for my feelings. I have lost all desire to put forth effort and constantly daydream about having an affair.

Get a divorce and buy a blow-up doll and/or pay for a ***** in the future. This is what most of the male species should do anyway. If we were a superficial as men the population would've died out 1000 years ago. Before you judge her you all need buy a mirror, take your rose colored glasses off and take a long hard look at yourself. People age, wrinkle, lose hair, gain weight etc. There are plenty of men that pack the pounds on after marriage too, but that's acceptable he's a teddy bear. A woman on the other hand is just a fat pig. <br />
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Aside from childbirth, if a woman is gaining a bunch of weight, that's probably because she's married to someone that treats her like crap and she's lost her self worth.

Sounds similar to my situation, and I'm sorry if it's not encouraging.<br />
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My wife is 5'1" and weighed a plump 135 when we met. I encouraged her to lose weight and by the time we got married she was down to 110. Unfortunately, by our first anniversary she was back to 135-140.<br />
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We met in Latin America and big American portions, fast food and a desk job did a number on her small fr<x>ame. After 10 years, she is 280 pounds.

it's actually not a good sign when a woman loses weight for her wedding. She just wants to look good on that special day. It doesn't mean it will be a priority later.

Disgusting. She's added 1/3 of her body weight to herself, or another way of putting it, she's now 130% of the weight she was when you married, or another way of putting it, she's added your typical 4 year old kid to her body mass.<br />
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Good luck getting much sympathy. We live in a society that coddles the oppressors and bashes the true victims. A society of selfish movements and agendas. A society that shuns personal responsibility and projects the fault onto the victims of their selfishness. A society that puts feelings (insecurities, victimhood, etc.) ahead of fairness, justice, reason, selflessness and love.<br />
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One mantra that screams selfishness is the, “do it for yourself” advice. What happened to doing things for those that depend on you? What happened to doing things for a cause? What happened to doing things because it is our responsibility and it’s what’s right?

Really? What do you know about being a woman? Maybe her husband cheats on her or gave her VD. Those are the reasons I won't loose weight. Why should I. My health is good and as far as exercise. I work out two hours a day.

I told the old man, if you don't like what I look like then turn off the lights.

My wife went from 115 pounds when we met to 280 pounds. She knows I don't mind her gaining weight so she's really "put the feedbag on" and let herself go.

If you don't have any kids, just dump her, unless you are 300lbs

My wife has steadily put on weight the past few years also. She is 5'7"and tips the scale at over 230lbs. Before she got to this point I mentioned to her about her weight and her responce was if you don't like it there's the door. So I tried to be a little more subtle and mention things like buy more fruit. Or lets cut back on the junk. But she doesn't listen. Now I don't want to sound superficial but if I wanted a fat woman I would have married one. I didn't mind a little weight gain at first sencing that she would she herself how unattractive it can become if she doesn't slow down. But when she can look in the mirror and barely see her own pubic area because it is being covered by overlapping fat how can she consider that to be attractive to me? I think it is one of the most repulsive things to see on a woman. Or when her stomach sticks out more than her breast. That is so unattractive.Such a turn off. I've said many subtle things to let her know she needs to loose weight but either she just doesn't get it or she doesn't care about the way i feel. What a position she puts me in because i don't want to have sex with her. I love her very much but at the weight she is right now, sexually i want nothing to do with her. I haven't cheated on her as of yet and I'm hoping I don't. And all the women who say that us men are superficial or any other name they can think of, you just try to tell me you would be happy with your man sexually if he gained so much weight that his gut covers his penis. Or has rolls of fat on him and i'll call you a liar. Sure you still love him but his naked appearence will turn you off. Unless of course you like fat men.

You sick pig! That's only 25 pounds! Dammit!! **** you!

Chubby is not cute. It is groce. You don;t hookup with a skinny chick to end up sexing a fat one.

The fact that you can't even spell "Gross" is what is gross.

i relate to you guys.<br />
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my wife is 5'4 and around 200lb when we met she was only 105 or so. everytime i try to talk to her about health issues of being over weight i get of the two responses. she tells me the only way she can lose weight is to starve herself or she is never going to lose it and i should get used to it. <br />
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i hate that attitude. <br />
there are also many other things i hate. i just don't know how to word them. <br />
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a quick thing, her tripple chin frustrates me a lot.

My wife was 97lb when we got married, now she is 180 and she claims that she is not fat. So there you have it.... She is so fat for her hight that I just cannot even look at her any more and no, I am not sick, I am just feed up with her and her kind. If We did not have a child between the two of us, I would be so out of this relationship...

Taking care of ones body and appearance shows respect and that you care for your partner. I run and workout regularly and have stayed the same weight and look for 14 years of mairrage. My wife (5'-1") shot out of the gate from the mairrage cerimony from 105 lbs. to 200 lbs. She did not work, layed around the house, and did nothing but eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner out every day (crushing our budget). Even though I treated her as if she was sexy, she would only want to have sex 2-times a year. She has now asked for a divorce becuase she needs to find herself - Divorce will be final in March. In the last 3 months at my cost, she joined weight watchers, bought expensive diet food and $2K of excercise machines, moved out, and has lost the weight. Go figure.<BR><BR>It seems that a husband and relationship is not important enough to take care of herself. No respect.

What did you do to her? Looks like she wants sex but not with you.

What the **** is wrong with you sick, horrid people? You absolute *****.<br />
You dont ******* deserve to be with anyone, superficial twats. How can you even talk about women like that?<br />
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Tossers.

Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?

You're probably fat.

old post here, but I dont think they are horrible people, stupid, but not horrid. lol, Karma works in mysterious ways, Watch the wives lose weight turn into hot mamas and leave their *****.

Do you kiss you mother with that mouth? I guess you are as fat as humans can be and therefor, you tend to be so offensive. Love / skinny married to a fat woman....

1 More Response

I truely feel ya'll. My fiance has started down that path. She knows I'm a fitness conscious person who works out 3 to 4 days a week (always have since HS and I'm 28 now). She used to be that way when we initially started dating. however, ever since we moved in together...she's yet to be to the gym. She hasn't put on as much as you guys have pointed, but like I said, she's heading that way. <br />
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Now, if I was overweight or had an average physical appearance I wouldn't say anything because that would make me a hypocrite. However, I dont so I've hinted numerous times that she should get back into it for her own health. I don't know how else to put it. <br />
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I've put it to her this way: if something would happen and she would gain a ton of weight, I wouldn't stop loving her. That alone wouldn't make her a different person. However, she can't expect me to remain physically attracted to her if she continues.

I'm with ya on the weight thing. My Wife steadily gained a ton of weight. She is 5'6" and tips the scales at about 200 lbs so don't feel so bad. She lost some weight before we had our daughter but has gained it all back. I don't think I could stand to look at her naked with the lights on it would really freak me out. I want to tell her she's gross and needs to lose weight but I don't really want to be that mean to her. I do still have a fondness for her and perhaps it's that I'm not In Love With Her anymore.

Didn't you ever talk about your views on health/fitness/nutrition and a long life? If you were going to share your life with some one... that should be an important conversation.<br />
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As far as the aesthetics go, you're in a hard situation, unfortunately because of the whole politically correct nonsense in the world today, you'll find it hard to voice any concerns without facing ridicule for doing so.<br />
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....you could introduce the idea of a healthy lifestyle, with the goal of a happier, healthier and longer life... not just for your wife, but for yourself... together... future children etc<br />
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that's if you really want her for a wife.... sounds like you didn't really want to marry her in the first place.... in which case, good job.

Fat wives will never listen to reason. Once they get fat, they lose half of their brain and they would stop listing to reason. If your wife is getting fat and you don't have any kids, trust me, just get the heck out of there asap. leave, divorce, do whatever it takes to get her out of your life.

This is true. Fat women seem to think that the reality of their weight, and their attitude, is unspeakable. It is an instant blood pressure freak out, if you mention your wife is overweight, or fat. My ex-commonlaw-wife was really fat when we met, and I knew right away she was crazy. Compulsive liar, no respect for herself, living and relishing delusion. Scary, and I did finally get away from that crazy chick. Unbalanced. She was about 250-270pounds and was about 5'5". Still getting back in shape after slacking in that relationship.