It Always Has to Be Her Way.

When I first married my wife had two modes,  clean and get stuff done her way and get drunk.  now after going to AA she only has one mode.  We all have to be cleaning the house or doing something 24/7  If you are not sleeping you better not be relaxing.

She came from a divorce family and I think to show her loyalty to her mom, she has to hate me in front of her and anyone else.  Always putting me down, telling me how stupid men are.  freaking out on the kids for losing things or not doing things her way.

Just tonight at dinner.  I have a cheese of the month club I get so I made a plate of cheese and told everyone that it was "not Bad"  Oh god for bid I said "not bad"  she would have nothing to do with the cheese and continued to ***** at me because I spoke those words.   I ******* hate when you say not bad.

She is the type of women who has to have everything done her way or its not good enough.   Even if sometimes her way is so ******* stupid that it ends up costing me money to repair something that she has tried to fix.

I think the worse part is the constant picking and bitching on how stupid I am and men are such loosers.  I still love her I guess and we have to great kids but I am so sick of dealing with her bitching and snipping!

Having to walk on egg shells because you never know when you are going to **** her off and have to pay the price.

I am so up for not caring anymore.  Just ******* beat me like a old horse that can't stand up anymore

Married for 15 years and wondering if I can make it another 15

7/20/07

OK I have cooled off and I don't hate my wife.  But venting on this sight really helped!!!!

I can not vent to anyone or just snap on my wife like this so I like this website.  Finaly a place where I can scream, ******* yell with out having to be in the dog house for it.
dt2000 dt2000
41-45, M
20 Responses Jul 19, 2007

my wife always goes off the deep end either fighting with me the kids or taking on the whole house dont know howmuch longer i can take it , im no pushover but somethimes its just not worth fighting caause theres no peace she has no rashonale or reasoning just turns into a guilt trip if i fight and she knows im right " thats right its all my fault your perfect im a ***** why dont you just leave me " then the next day she says sorry for gatting mad but thats not even the issue. Its about respect and reasonable behavior if i ever treated her like she treats me i would never live it down. shes an emotional terorist

i wish my wife would love me for me

yo Im the same way....put up with it or just plain die but we cant die cuz of the kids.Ya wanna take a pole and jam it down thir ******* throats.I swear dude after they have kids their brains go out their *** into the toilet!!!!I REFUSE to screw my kids lives up cuz of this *****!!! I will fight her stupid ways till I croak.Does your wife act like a high school girl?

I hate my wife and now I hate yours too.

I hate my wife and now I hate yours too.

15 yrs and going. <br />
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If only I had gone with my heart. Would I have been in a better position? I'll never know though I did try to find out recently and she sussed me out; worth it though, speaking to her on the 'phone for the first time in 15yrs. <br />
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I still think about her and always have, and turns out she never forgot about me.<br />
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Its different now though, we have moved to another country (through work) and she plans to move to New Zealand with her second husband.<br />
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Had I asked her out all that time ago, would it have turned out different? Would we have made it, **** I hate my wife, I almost left her for Lu when we were courting and I wish had now. <br />
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That said I wouldn't have two great kids. Lu has four kids now by two fathers. Her first husband was a little ****, so I understand why she left him. Our recent e-mails were frowned upon by our worse halves - I have had no contact with her for over six months and it is tearing me apart.<br />
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Some context here.....<br />
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Yesterday I was sitting in one of two armchairs and had been since I got in from work. She had been in front of the PC all day catching up on TV she had missed - you could tell by the sweat on her shorts (high humidyty and leather seat) and the stack of dishes waiting to be cleaned (we have a dishwasher); the heaps of clothes queuing to get washed/dried/sorted!!!<br />
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She finished watching her programme which I wanted to watch as well and she had the audacity to demand her seat back. Of course, this wasn't the first time she had made such a request, so I asked her where her courtesy was - she never says please or thank you to anyone, let alone me, today was no different.<br />
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So I didn't move. She just stood there in front of the TV blocking my view. *****. She asked again for her seat so I reminded her it wasn't hers, she didn't pay for it, doesn't pay for it. I do. She doesn't work. <br />
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In the interest of harmony I moved to the other arm chair which is not directly in front of the TV - I wasn't really watching but reading a magazine. She took 'her' seat without a word. No 'thank you'. No nothing.<br />
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And that's not all. She complains she has no friends - well no f****** wonder! We went out earlier to a works social night and, being new there, a couple of lads had promised to introduce her to their wives. She didn't want to know.<br />
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Anything and everything I do is wrong unless it's for ****face's benefit.<br />
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I give up, I really do.<br />
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I know that Lu and I could never make it together now, but I hold out some hope for a free future, whether on my own or with someone else. I could let go of Lu if only I got something back from the one I gave my life to.<br />
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Why do I bother?<br />
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I know I haven't done right by ff in the past, but her attitude towards the kids and I leaves us walking on eggshells which I can't tolerate much longer.

u poor ***... Im in almost the exact same thing, except i try to save money and my wife fukn tries to make me work even more out on the road so im not home "argrivating" her, then she wants to ***** because I dnt take her on enough vactions and i took her child hood life away from her and she cant get a good job and on and on and on! I dnt know if this is venting or just spitting the truth. If we didnt have 2 kids together that ***** wouldve done hit the curb! All woman are psycho, its rediculous! if or when I get a divorce, its single life for me till I die... never doing this again, going on 3 yrs btw

She sounds like my wife. You have to do everything exactly how she would do it, or you are a "brain" or a "genius". I do HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTEE my **** wife. Once in a while we have good times for like an hour, then it's back to default. I have this knee-jerk response built into me when it comes to bringing soething up. LIke today I told her I wasn't going to church because I have a cold. Of course she went balistic. BEfore I told her I reminded myself to not have the knee-jerk response and start yelling at her when she goes crazy on me. We have a 4 yr old daughter, and we fight enough in front of her. My major problem is that we have been married almost six years, and she has never worked. So now I want a divorce and she wil be getting half my net paycheck at least. I can't afford to get divorced, then continue on with my life by buying a house, a car, etc... I will never be able to afford that. The only way I can is if I have a relationship with a woman who makes her own significant amount of money and we get married (always a potential mistake) or if we move in together. I am **** TRAPPED!! I HATE MY WIFE!!!

Sounds like my ball n chain...walking on egg shells and fishing for things to argue about.<br />
It really makes life suck. <br />
Let me know what you do to get through.<br />
we can trade ideas.

I feel your pain.....MY wife is the same way. If she doesn't get her way she throws a fit like a little kid.

First off I am the one who started this thread and I read a book that changed everything for me and my wife. <br />
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http://www.fivelovelanguages.com/<br />
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The five love languages by Dr Gary Chapman.... I know it sounds like a stupid book but it was not. My wife showed love by doing things around the house aka her love language. So doing things for her was how she felt loved. On the other hand I am more of a "words of praise" type guy and she never told me anything good. anyway just read the book it might help you out in your relationship.... Remember I was the guy bitching about my wife in the first place and this book helped me out!<br />
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http://www.fivelovelanguages.com/

I think she got into her hate mode when you were drinking and hasn't come out of it. I know I hate mine and probably still will if he stops drinking because of how he treated me when he was drinking. I sort of feel like he should take it because I took it for so long. But, in reality you feel you owe her nothing, and she feels like you owe her everything because she's still with you. It's how I feel about mine and he's almost clean. Check it out in the I hate my husband stories. Oh, by the way. What got you clean? I told mine he'd have to move back to Vancouver Washington to his old job because he'd have no way to work once I divorced him. It's his last chance everyday. Did your wife do this to you, did it work?

it amazes me how many similar situations out there. As dt2000 said it is great to vent. The eggshell analogy is right on. Sometimes I am home and see my wife driving up the driveway and say to myself I wonder how long it will take before she starts an argument. No matter how hard you try to avoid it you know it is coming. Sometimes i fight back sometimes i just ignore her, neither strategy seems to work.

Wow, man, my wife is calm compared to yours, but I still cannot stand it, and if I could I would do everything to kick her ouf of my life without loosing my kids. But that seems impossible. I do not want to loose my kids, and a divorce would ruin me financially too. So my plan is to wait untill my kids are 18 and get the devorce than. Untill than I should be finantially better off.<br />
I dream to have a calm day, when I wake up and see her smiling face, and it is peace and quiet the whole day, no bitching and yelling. I am very upset, because in my family it used to be like that, everyone was nice and smiling. It was a great start of a day. Now I wish my kids had the same kind of experience. Unfortunately it is not the case. <br />
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I used to be quiet and think, she would rethink and someday will understand, but that never happened. She even hit me twice, and I have done nothing. Again, thinking that it will make feel bad about it and try to fix it. So I am not quiet anymore. I told her, if she ever hits me again, I will hit back, and it will be with double power. And it did happen, she has hit me, and I hit her the very second back. She was very supprised at the beginning, but than went furious, but I managed to get out of the house without getting killed. <br />
Of course after some hour she calmed down and said she was sorry. Now as soon as she yells at me, I yell too, although I am a very calm man. This has made her stop a bit, and seems to work, as she knows now, that I will fight back. This is what I have learned at an BMA course. If you get attacked, you need to fight back (business strategy), otherwise everyone will see you are week and kick you again. <br />
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The problem is however, that during those arguments, we have said so many bad things, that it will never be like it used to be, but in my opinion that is better than the yelling an bitching on any occasion. <br />
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My advice is: allways fight back, she will back off a bit, and might start respecting you. <br />
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I also plan to get me a some kind of a mp3 recorder which will record everything 24hours a day per default, and as soon as a fight finishes, I want to archive those arguments, to have it for my divorce case. Anyone knows of such device. Can any cell phone do that?

Hey man. I hate my wife a little more than you do. She's a crazy ***** but then again I'm a complete ******* and she hates me. I don't know why but we're stupid in love with each other and try to make it work. I think marriage brings the worst out in everybody. I used to be a much cooler person and she was a hell of a girl. Now we can't go out with friends without completely making an awkward scene and make everybody feel uncomfortable. <br />
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I have no advice. Marriage sucks ***. I want to be respected like she used to respect me. She's a huge ball of f-ing disrespect now and then she wants me to chase after her like we're dating again? **** that. <br />
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Good luck man. Let me know if you do better than I'm doing.

Oh man, sounds like mine. The walking on eggshells, the random freakouts, the constant cleaning and freaking on the kids, the botched home repairs, the public emasculation. And I can tell you now, it won't get better until you make a stand. I left my wife. Now I get respect, and I see my kids more than she does. Oh, whinybaby? Shut your dumb mouth. You can be a man without being dumb. Like your first line of advice? D-U-M-B dumb. dt2000, don't listen to this mouthpiece. Do you know how fast they'll take down a man who snatches his kids? It'll come up if you start her drinking again. I still love mine, but I got respect when I cut her off and left her ***. I'm aware I lucked out in jarring her back to reality. As for the kids, there are lawyers and advocates. I didn't need those. You might.

Tell that ******* ***** to go get a drink and then when she gets back to her natural alcoholic self, steal those kids away from her. If she's treating you that way then the kids will get it eventually and it's your job to keep that from happening. Quite being a ******* mouse and be a man you ******* Sally. I literally have to post the same message to so many whining *** men these days because you all have grown nice tidily kempt vaginas. KNOCK IT OFF AND BE MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There now I've vented and I still hate your wife. BTW 2kind go somewhere and get a ******* education you degenerate asslicking lob headed fool.

This is a power struggle and she's winning you need to be more of a gross man to her like fotting in public or burping sracting yourself,and pretend not to care about stuff so much.

Scream, yell, stamp up and down, do what ever makes you make through another day, that is the beauty of EP it lets you be you!

Don't we all need to vent?