Really Close to Seeking a Divorce
When I first started dating my wife (about 9 years ago) she had no problem with me watching/attending sporting events. We had sex daily and many times at least 3 times a day. So I bought a house 2 months after (left the Marine Corps 4 months prior to buying a home). I loved her with a passion and she asked me if she could move in. Now at first I was hesitant because I felt that I really did not know her well enough to constanlty have her in my life.
Well upon moving in she was great she cleaned, cooked, and the sex was even better. I have a great paying job and she always aspired to be a nurse. Well I paid for her to go through nursing school. Once again everything was great at this time.
We were married shortly after she graduated nursing school. Than the changes started. She was to work a full time job. She found out she could work part time. That was fine by me but I simply asked that she continue to contribute around the house and she should not tell me that it would effect our sex life because she was tired. To no surprise no food on the table, no more having sex daily, and no more coming home to a clean house. Now I have always done work around the house, always cooked the meats for dinner, and never turned her down for sex. So she tells me her job is so hard, she worked 2 days a week for 10 hours a day, REALLY????
Anyway 2 years ago she decided she wants to work full time after giving birth to our daughter. I thought okay if you can't handle working 20 hours a week how are you going to handle 40+?
Needless to say the only time she has now is to talk on the phone for 3 hours a day with her friends, go out with her friends at least once sometimes twice every weekend. I have no problem with her wanting to hang out with her friends but god forbid if I actually go out with my friends. I have season tickets for a college football team so minus the 7-8 times I go to games with my buddies I may go out 3-5 times the rest of the year. I have to hear about it each time.
The sad thing is I have invited her at least a dozen times and each time she replies that she is not interested. To make matters worse I talked to her at least 5 times this year stating that our marriage is on the rocks because I try to do things with her (watching shows that I have zero interest in, going to functions such as concerts that I have no interest in, hanging out with her friends who all get high as well as my wife). We have gone to 3 events by ourselves in the last year and a half. EVERYTHING revolves around going out with her friends. NOTHING involves going out with mine.
I don't do drugs and yes weed is a drug. I told her that I hate it when she gets high. It bothers me because she is spaced out and forgets conversations we have. The smell totally turns me off and no she did not do it with me knowing about it before we were married, she hid it.
We have 40000 dollars of credit card debt. Another 240000 existing on our home. Another 75000 on a second mortgage. So when she left he other job she had the choice of cashing out her 401K or rolling it over. I stated it would help out if she could contribute to some of the bills (I pay all the bills and her money is our fun money). Now we are only talking about 13000 dollars which after taxes was about 9000. I eliminated some of that CC debt to make it down to 40000 on 2 CC's. She tells me about it every time now how she "gave up her money" to help me. WHAT???? She never had to contribute for one bill for 8+ years (That includes groceries, gas, and other needs. She only had to pay for nights out and as mentioned above not many were involved with me) and giving me 9000 dollars is after 8+ years after nothing is sacrifice??? Oh the best part is she had a tummy tuck done in January that cost 12000 guess who paid for it???? Yeah thanks for the 900 grand because you add 3000 more of debt with that. *****!!
Anyway this week was the breaking point. We have had sex 12 times in 2 1/2 years. Well after these 5 conversations I had this year with her stating that I need more sex because it will lead me elsewhere. It was our anniversary. I had the day off and she had the day off. She HAD to go to see her friends and as soon as she came home she went to sleep. Needless to say I was not happy and told her I was going out, oh I had to wake her up and tell her. The next day she was upset at me for going out on our anniversary. WHAT??? So it caused a big fight. 3 times she borrowed money to freinds 4000 dollars total and guess how much of that money we have seen? NOTHING. Does she put a guilt trip on them? NOT A WORD. Yet I here about the 9000 dollars she gave me to "bail me out". I guess I forget that she never had to contribute or that I paid for her schooling (which was much more than 9000).
I told her that if she ever brings up money again, does not start performing in bed, and notdoing everyday things like cooking and cleaning I am out. The look on her face I could tell she knew I was serious. Now I love my daughter to death but no way am I going to stick around and take this being all frustrated and take it out on myself and my daughter. The gray train is over.