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Pregnant Wife

Hello All,

My wife is about 37 weeks pregnant and so she is miserable. She refuses to eat and drink and won't take care of herself. She screams and cries and does it so much that neighbors are threatening to call the police on us.

You would think that this is only because of pregnancy but she has always been like this. Ever since we were married back in November all she has done is carry on and cry and scream. All she does is tell me she hates everyone and everything about where we live.

I thought that it was just her having trouble getting used to america as she is from England but it just hasn't stopped. I am at the end of my rope. I have given her everything I have and tried my absolute best to make her happy but nothing works. We went to therapy and everything but she refuses to change her ways.

If anyone out there has any suggestions please send me them.

gevans gevans 21-25, M 3 Responses Sep 3, 2007

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She NEEDS medication, so take her to a psychiatrist if you really want to help her.

My initial reaction was to your story was that I felt like a key piece of the puzzle (so to speak) was missing from your story.<br />
<br />
It seems likely to me that it must be very difficult to step back to get perspective on the situation, but that in itself might be a good exercise.<br />
<br />
Some questions:<br />
<br />
1) What does she say about her *feelings*?<br />
2) What sort of personality does your wife have?<br />
3) Has then been a significant change in her personality?<br />
4) Has she had mental health issues in the past?<br />
5) What do you think the *underlying* issues are?<br />
6) If this behaviour is *new* for her, *when* exactly did it start? (Was it the marriage? Or her move from England?) <br />
7) What *type* of therapy did you try?<br />
8) What sort of support network does she have?<br />
9) Was this a planned pregnancy?<br />
10) What do you think *you* are doing that might be making things worse? (No, really. Despite your good heart and best intentions, you are invariably doing something that makes things worse. :) )<br />
11) What does she say about her *feelings*?<br />
<br />
Two main possibilities seem likely to me:<br />
1) Your wife has a form of mental illness that has been exacerbated by extreme situational stress (marriage + immigration + pregnancy + isolation + goodness knows what else)<br />
<br />
2) There are a few deep and fundamental issues that are terrorising her and are far, far beyond her coping mechanisms

Yowzers! Sounds like a tough one. I WAS hoping to cheer you up by telling you my friend just went through the same thing...like a PRE-partum depression, and she's just had the baby and is the most content, laid back, happies...I've seen her EVER. But if it's been going on since before then, you need to get her on some meds. Does she rant at you, or just rant and scream about everything?