Wife Wants to Move Now

I need some advice here. I bought a house out in the country what my wife wanted back in 1998. I worked my butt off over the years to pay this home off plus remodel it over the years. It is paid for and is very sweet, I get tons of compliments. My wife rarely ever helped me with any of the workd and actually was pissed off alot of times that I was doing a project. She never helped pay for this house I did with my paycheck, never her money. She also never helped pay for any of the work or materials to fix it up. I put thousands of hours and dollars into this place and now she hates it here after I finally pay it off and fixed it up. Talk about ungrateful. Im so pissed off and just bummed out. I worked so hard for nothing. She doesnt want to live in the country now and wants to move back to town. She even said she would downscale to a lesser home and keep the cash from this one after selling. I said theres no way in hell Im moving down in life when I dont have to and I dont owe anything on the home you wanted to begin with. We are 10 miles from the little town we grew up and I said you have a car if you want to go in town anytime you want. I just feel unappreciated and if I sell and buy a house in town I wont be happy there and just spent more money. My father still lives there and most her family do but we are only 10 miles out of town so its not like were far away. We have a little boy who is 5 and if I ask hime he says it doesnt matter to him where he lives. I just dont know what to do.

jasonb318 jasonb318
11 Responses Jun 14, 2009

It just sounds like the woman you married will find fault in everything you do, whether those things are good or bad. Some people are just complainers. I'd say "go find another" but then again, a lot of women are like that. If she's otherwise a good woman who loves you and her children, then the fact that she is fickle, entitles, and ungrateful doesn't make her stand out from millions of other women who are just like her.

I say you should find some alone time and honestly make a pro and con list regarding your wife. Then, rank the pros and cons in order of importance. As in, if something in the con list is that she isn't a good cook, that's a relatively minor thing compared to the pro that she loves you and stands by you.

O.K I read all the comments an I agree some what. Yah it will be horrable to move but I got to ask why do she want to move now, what is her motive. I will suggest to talk to her find out what is going on. Then instead of stating no create an argument against her ob<x>jections. This way you have a chance of easing her fears - whatevery they are - and still live there.

Stand your ground. Seek marriage/legal counciling if she doesn't want to discuss your needs.

There is no more to the story. I came home from work after night shift and she told me in the morning she hates it here. I was dumbfounded to say the least. I just had new vinyl porch railing installed and new carpet and it really looks beautiful too. She is going through a change of life maybe. She had cysts removed from her ovaries 2 months ago. It seemed like after that she changed. We were trying to have another child but I dont think she can now. She says she is thankful for what we have but shes not happy there anymore she would like to be closer to her family in town 10 miles away. I like the peace and quiet and the privacy and the satisfaction of my labor in our home. I know this house like the back of my hand and dont want to lose that security. This is just an awful feeling to have.

What you can do about this whole situation is say NO!<br />
<br />
As far as a lawyer goes they can advise you of your legal rights. Maybe get one that works with property. Consultations with a lawyer are free or cost a small fee. You would not be hiring the lawyer yet just talking. <br />
<br />
Your wife can not FORCE you to dump that house. If you do not want to sell it.<br />
<br />
I think there is maybe alot you are not saying about this situation. Just go do what it takes to keep your place. Is wifey so unhappy that she wants a divorce if you do not move?

She will never be happy and she is just seeing how far she can push you. You can either let her push or stand firm. I tried over and over again to make my STBX happy and it was always something. I finally realized that nothing would do it and in the end my happiness was worth something too.

What a foolish spoiled child. You have the largest debt, for most individuals, paid OFF! AND... as you said (spot ON) yourself, people would kill to live in that arrangement. Land! Paid off house! Neighbors that can't 'fall into' your lawn and know your business. Find a replacement, this one obviously came from the faulty 'Entitled-Western-Princess' batch from the feminist factory. Unfortunately, there's no return policy so, you'll have to take care of matters on your own. American women give 'made in the USA' a bad rap.

Im not sure theres much I can do is there?? The bad thing is I bught this house in my name only because we werent married at the time of purchase. I kept in my name until about 4 years ago because she was on my *** about not putting her on the deed. I went and did the right thing and put her on it since shes my wife and I have a little boy with her. Now Im afraid its going to cost me. What can I do with a lawyer??

Stand your ground firmly!!!!!! TELL HER NO!!!! you are not selling the house for any reason. You would rather die than sell it play it up and stand your ground. Have a spine of steel.<br />
<br />
If this does not or has not worked you are gonna have to dig down more for information and get her to tell you the real reason she does not want to live there anymore.<br />
<br />
This is the best I got. Does anyone else like a lawyer or a realestate agent got any ideas to help this guy?

Its a small town of about 4500 people. We moved 10 miles away into rural farm country on an acre of ground. We have neighbors as Im along a country back road and I love my neighbors. I like the peace here and its quiet. No fences no nubby neighbors watching you. I would stay forever and she hates it now. I just dont get it. We have a nice little home people would kill for and she hates it. It was good for 10 years till out of the blue she no longet wants to live out here. I need some advice guys.

UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD YOU SELL THE HOUSE. I live in a town of about 50,000 and it takes 20-30 mins. to get across town with all the lights. You live 10 mins./10miles from town. Tell your wife to SUCK IT UP. Does your town have 1,000 people in it is it that small? 10 mins. is FREAKING NOTHING!!!! Living in town means nothing you already basically live in town. If your town is growing it will grow to you someday and then you will live "in town". <br />
<br />
You should tell her if she wants to live in town so badly she can move in with her family!!! Don't give up your dream or your house... you own that sucker free and clear. Does your wife not read the news or watch TV. Tons of people are getting foreclosed on and are out of work. We are in a recession this is not the time to sell a house. <br />
<br />
She is probably eaten up inside about how much time and money you spent on "her house" instead of with or on her...selfish.<br />
<br />
Think of how much your place will be worth in 10, 20, or 30 years. Also, if the town grows to you and you have farm zoned land it will be worth ALOT more someday. <br />
<br />
I can't help it your wife has such a small viewpoint. I drive 35 miles for work each day. 10 miles is so much worthless nothing. LOL your post made me PO'ed too hahahaha.<br />
<br />
<br />
good luck.