It Doesn't Get Better With Age
42 years ago, at 19 and 17, my wife and I "fell in love," lived together, got married, and everything went downhill from there. She tossed out her birth control pills without telling me and I wasn't permitted to have a vasectomy until I'd had two kids, by Texas state law. The day after my 2nd daughter was born, I had the operation.
Like most people who stay together more than a couple of years, we stayed together (on my part) "for the children." My wife rarely worked and never contributed any of her income to the family expenses when she did. She had affairs. She is high on the list of "worst housekeepers on earth" and is a generally angry and miserable person. In the last twenty years, she has gained so much weight that her legs have given out and she's a near-cripple. Now, she's even angrier. Somehow, through all of her misery-making she convinced herself that she's an artist (a term I now consider to be someone who is near worthless and "art" must mean "not good"). She has poured my money into the black hole of her artistic career without ever selling a single piece for a profit.
Love and hate seem to come from the same place. I love my kids and some part of me still loves my wife because she is connected to my kids and grandkids. However, our relationship has caused me depression so severe that I've wanted to be dead for more than 3/4 of my life. I've worked hazardous jobs, hoping to be killed accidentally so that my kids would be provided for, carried excessive life insurance for 25 years, engaged in dangerous hobbies, and stared down the barrell of a gun hundreds of times.
We had a one year seperation, ten years ago. It was the best year of my life, but it ended when she ripped through the money I'd given her, spent my youngest daughter's college fund, and moved back in to my new home on a weekend when I was away on business. Yes, she broke the door lock to get in. I wasn't stupid enough to give her a key.
I'm 62, now. A divorce would wipe me out and in this economy I'd never be solvent again. Hell, I'll probably never be employed again.
She is elligible (and has been for 30 years) to take half of my SS when I retire. Marrige was the dumbest thing I could have done with my life. I wasted talent, education, dreams, and love on a woman whose only interest is herself. I've counseled everyone who will listen, for almost 40 years, to run from marriage as fast and far as you can. It's an economic contract with boundless loopholes and no benefit to an independent person.
Parents who encourage their sons to marry and have children are vicious, selfish, pitiful excuses for human beings in these United States with the marriage contract being what it is. Friends don't let friends get married.