52 Reasons I Hate My Wife

Well actually more than 52. You can see them all on my twitter feed at WhyIHateMyWife but in short because she doesn't respect me. She is so trapped by her own insecurity that she treats me like a child. Always monitoring my every move. Telling me what to do and then asking me what I'm doing while I'm doing it.  She has no ambition and treats me like a tool to provide for her needs. Don't get me wrong, there is NO sex and hasn't been for almost a year now. Pathetic. She is too involved in her children's day to day. I hear more about her ex than I ever cared to and for the lack of respect that I get from her children, I'm always asked to help with some issue. I like to help by nature but at some point try to return the favor. Now if I bring up issues with my son (he's grown also) OMG you would think I'm supposed to burn him at the stake and have nothing to do with him. She acts like he's the Devil himself.

So now that our 14th anniversary is here, I feel trapped in a hell I'll probably never get out of. She won't leave and I don't want to have to bounce back from the financial devastation of letting my house go. She can't pay the mortgage alone and I don't have enough to leave. So I just pretend and make things livable. I still treat her with civility. I don't ignore her or treat her bad. I just write these things as therapy. But enough for now. I just hate my marriage with a passion. Those damn church folks who fill your head with all of that churchy spiritual crap. And my dumbass for believing it. "He who findeth a wife findeth a good thing." Well I always try my pants on first before I buy them. Should have done the same here.

WhyIHateMyWifeAtTwitter WhyIHateMyWifeAtTwitter
41-45, M
14 Responses Aug 29, 2009

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When they set out to kill you and don't care.....time to jump ship

Don't believe everything you hear about men being unhappy in a marriage because nine times out of ten they are one's who cause hundred percent of the problems!! They are unhappy because they are children that haven't grown up!! They have problems and blame others for there unhappiness. They lie, have secrets and don't communicate or they are not willing to change because it's always someone else's fault!! They convince themselves and others that they were victims in the relationship when they are in fact the victimizers (if that's a word) Boy's need to be Men and grow up and take responsibility for their own lives and stop using women to get ahead in life! Using women as a stepping stool to get ahead is child's play,.be responsible, be a man ,step up to the plate and take care of a woman and stop using them as camouflage to look like a real man because when the real you comes out the real you will be seen by the real men around you. And stop winning and tell your wifes how you feel!! Oh my God your so unattractive when your winning! Yes i am the wife of the guy who wrote this 50 reasons why i hate my wife!! And guess what!! I had not a clue that he hated me for fifteen years!! Matter of fact the day i found this hurtful letter on his computer i was devastated! We had just went on our 15th year marriage anniversary up to Atlantic city which i thought we were having fun! But like i said secrets!! I'm not go to get into the whole ordeal now! He is happy so he says and i am doing fine! I just want to say to you men out there, if you want your relationship with your wife to change you have to do something different!! You can't keep whining and talking about her to others behind her back and think that will help you, all it does is make the problem seem bigger than it really is! You have to take the good with the bad and sometime you have to step out and be the bigger person to make things better for the relationship! It can get better if you don't run and keep loving her and telling her what she needs to hear to make her what to love you back in return. Someone has to take the first step so let it be you!! Maybe your not listening to her needs,maybe it's time to fulfill her needs so she can look your way again. Anger has a voice and it speaks loud or not at all!! It come out in many ways! pay attention!! Either it will shut down on you or it will speak out in frustration!! my ex shut down and i spoke out in frustration!! I don't believe leaving is an option unless your weak and unforgiving! I would have stayed in the fight but it was what he wanted so i gave it to him. I don't know how it was for him but it was worst than a death to me!! I'm pretty much healed now! And life goes on!!

My wife is a pretty great person. My only concerns are that she does not seem to care how she looks physically (which is something that I just have to live with so not the main point) and how she treats me. It is very important to me that people I associate with don't treat me like I am worthless, I don't need to waste time with people who don't care for me. And yes, I have talked to my wife about these two needs of mine many, many times but no change has occured. And of course I need to try and fulfill her needs, and even though I have work to do, I am always trying to do better. I am so tired and I don't have the option of divorce, and I wish I could get a girl friend who I could relate to, and could fulfill my emotional needs but that would be too risky.

Its been a couple of years now and I finally won what I wanted for years. I GOT A DIVORCE!!!!!! While I wish I could say that things came to the point where we could be friendly toward each other, I can't. I am getting out owning her approximately $16k in alimony, health insurance and other payments but I have moved on to gain a healthy attitude and a thriving relationship with a beautiful, strong, intelligent woman who has given me great insight into myself and life. I feel like the man I once was before being torn down by over 15 years of negativity and stress. To all of you who are going through bad times in relationships I have only this advice for you. "IIWII" which stands for It Is What It Is. Don't try to make sense of it. If you are not happy and you feel you've done all you can to communicate your feelings to your partner and they aren't hearing you. Pick up your marbles and go home! All I wanted was to be DIVORCED. Practically all material possessions including the childhood home that had enormous sentimental value to me I had to let go. But I've gained so much in life experience and learning the psychology of people. I am happy, healthy, and content. I'll just pay the vig on my losing 15 year gamble and be done with it.

I take it back, after reading all the comments, it is lear you guys have been treated very poorly. maybe some of your situations are not worth fixing because you deserve better, maybe some of you would like to try to fix it. good luck to you all, i am sorry for all your hurt, unmet needs, and lack of fullfillment as men. you deserve to feel loved and appreciated.

I offerred this comment to 2 other men. maybe it applies here also. you sound like a nice man, good luck to you.<br />
hi ther,e. i am a hated wife, at least i feel hated. I feel badly for your situation. maybe i can lend some insight on mine and maybe this will help you in some way. long and short, my husband who i adored and worshipped married me, we had a lot of unfortunate circumstances come our way for several years, and we fought, still fight, and are left wounded unable to heal completely thus far. i was the wife who challenged his authority and yelled. im trying to be better and he treats me badly now because he knows i love him. let me explain, and maybe you meanie wife will seem different to you.<br />
I yelled because i truly wanted is attention and he refused to give it to me.<br />
i shoved him when he tried to intimidate me, but i wanted him to hold me.<br />
i challengened his authority because instead of caring for me and explaining his wishes, he bossed me around, all i really want is to be a loving, submissive,obedient wife to a man who makes choices best for us not him, and offers direction not orders.<br />
i didnt want to have sex because he was unaffectionate all day, at night i would cry because I wanted his affection and badly to be taken by him sexually.<br />
if he would speak kindly to me, and be affectionate with me, i could be on my knees to serve him till his last breath, but he won't give me what i need to do this.i'm too embarrassed to explain this to him, i think it makes me sound pathetic. i've tried though.<br />
i dont doubt this woman hasnt worn you down as a man, you sound like a good man who is hurting inside...i would assume you would welcome some admiration,respect, affection and kindness from the woman who once held your heart...maybe you can find a way to heal her hurt, so she will give you what you deserve, angry women are always hurting inside, and refusing to admit it and look weak. if you have'nt, write her a letter, ask her to respond in a letter, ask her what she wants,what she needs, see what she says. maybe she is eternally evil, but maybe she's too angry to admit she needs you. you can believe the more nasty she is, the more she hurts. you can be stronger than her, be her protector, try again...you can do it. you will have to make it a mission, it wont be easy. im praying my husband will love me again.<br />
reality speaking, dont take abuse, if she is a wacko, behave yourself and document everything, not every mom wins a legal fight. but rmember, she needs you, even if she's too angry to know it, deep inside she does.<br />
start small, if it's ok to touch...touch her hair when you can, alwaysacknowledge her when you walk into a room (touch her somehow, say somthing,etc) it's easy for us to feel ignored. we want to be your favorite, at least i and some of my girlfriends feel this way. always say good morning and goodnight. use pet names she likes. dont speak badly of her except to vent here, if you say it you think it, you dwell on it, it hurts you inside and you lose focus. you know her better than anyone, do what you know. and good luck to you, i bet you are a great dad.

been tryin it seems to be no hope. she even calls her mom tells her what a p.o.s. i am and what i say but wont tell what she says.i may sound like a 1st grader but it isnt fair.

im so sorry. my husband still hates me. i feel the situations you describe are similar to mine. I dont want to die, but daydream i never married. married 10 years 2 weeks ago, but so sad and lonely. he says somthing to make me feel like crap everyday, nothing is good enough. i married my bug strong hero, but he must've been killed and replaced by the man in my house. i dont know what either of us should do.im praying tonite, it cant hurt.

to:realywant2beagoodgirl...i realy dont have time to type what im kinda thinkin could be a possible reason, so check back for the next couple days ill write you. keep praying he will hear you i promise.

to: want2beagoodgirl... ya know i have no idea how your husban is...but there is one thing that most men are struggling with or are fully addicted to. something that any woman will fall 2nd place to no matter how hot or not hot a wife is, no matter love or no love. a very marrage intrusive problem in the u.s. is ***********. men watch as all their fantasies are fullfilled. and the false reality of grass is greener with her. but what most dont realise is there is no woman that will let that happen to them unless she wants to fulfill that craving for him or does it to keep him away from it and that may not even work any how. the women on the screen will do anything he wants with just with just a click. she never reject or complains. he can choose any hair color,size of assets,or what ever. not saying thats what he is doing but sounds possible. you can never compete with her unfortunately. is is shamefull so he proably wont admit to it. not too many will admit their beatin' it. confronting will likely be more problems than good. i dont know what to tell you to do sorry. i took a marrage class called love and respect. the morral of the story...without love a woman acts without respect. without respect a man acts without love. the cycle repeats its self over and over.my wife and i dont have it all together by any means! but this may help you. if you look into this try to get the dvds there is a book also. the movie fire proof is also a good movie too. kirk cameron is in it and i saw my marrage in this movie. it was an eye opener for me. showing me there was a real problem with me.you should realy see this movie and watch it with him.its just too hard to rember how to apply this in life every day when you have been in it so long. go to church. there is alot of support there. but dont go catholic the real thing isnt there.if you have a vinyard church there thats the best.get involved in a womans group.if he wont go to church with you go anyway. dont force church down his throat it will deepen the problem. hope this gives some insight and help to you. write me any time.

hello realyidoloveherithink, and thank you for your thoughts. your concern is relevant for one reason, i think I have my answer, but need to be patient for the results. the girl on the screen never complains or nags,etc. you are right about the endless cycle, i am currently trying to give him what he needs hoping o be the one to bite the bullet and break the cycle. i give him whatever fantasy he desires (i do not have perfect assets, but i'm working on it), i encourage him to 'take care" of himself when I'm not around, but i am guilty of being negative and impatient somtimes. i have noticed we are having more good days than bad, its a slow turnaround. i suppose i need to work on myself more before i can expect him to change some things. it's hard when you want the attention and affection so badly, you forget to apply the rules in daily life. i will look into the materials you have suggested. you're a good man charlie brown, and happy holidays if i don't write sooner :)

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Another thing about my lousy stinking wife is that she farts all the damn time - I tell you it's disgusting!! For her, that's sex - how sad is my pathetic life???? She's also a pathological liar and wear an adult diaper and ****** in it all the time. Sex is out of the question unless I'm so horny I can't handle it anymore. And even then, I can only screw the ***** after she's had a bath - and she still smells bad! So if you think you've got it bad, I'll trade places with you any day!! This sorry *** ***** actually brags about the stench of her farts! On top of that she complains about everything under the sun. I daydream about suicide and murder. One day (and it couldn't happen soon enough) she'll be gone and I can actually have a decent life again!! This ***** stoops to new lows all the time. Where is O.J. Simpson when you need him??!! Can anybody top my sorry *** sh*thole marriage??!

no. no one can top that.you must have realy sinned bad somewhere. i also daydream about suicide. a ***** wife realy makes death inviting. no crap. ive got kids i wana be here for and dont want them to think i killed myself. ive even talked to my wife about making it look like an accident at work. im a garbage man theres many ways to pull it off. crash get hit by a speeding car (that ones real easy). i cant say any thing to her with out it turning into "are you being mean?" realy today we were talking about our kids being home schooled. my son is and is home school material. my daughter just now 4 is too social and out going to be stuck at home for 18 years. (didnt even tell her all that tho) so she says she dosent even think she wants our girl in public school. i said i might have to resist you on that one. that ***** turns to me and says are you being mean? what!!! wtf is that!? mean wtf was mean about that? seriously i go thru this mind minipulating bs all the f n time. so she gets these kinda little pis you off stabs in and goes un noticed by the kids. well i blow the f up and there for look like a p.o.s. to the kids and miss cherub f n mom is now happy, more sht to go tell her friends. dude this goes on all the time. it freakin sucks. i am invaluable to her happyness. we get into a heated conversation,i go up stairs to chill.just like mom allways said to do escape and calm down right. well she will come up and nag and carry on,ill tell her just leave me alone for a bit actually beg her. but the good wife she is she is like a crow standing on your chest pecking your eyes out while your hands are bound by morals and law.if a man talked to me that way we all know what we would do, call him a dumb as and walk away. cant do it life with her id total hell. just like others i cant afford to leave.its winter and too cold to be homeless. we have a seperate bulding i slept in one nite still too cold out and my job requires good sleep.sleeping on an air matress in 20 degree or lower commin up soon cant do it. i have a heat lamp it might work. i told her i was gona ax myself and leave a note to tell the world she was the reason,she thought it ''was mean'' o of course it was truth be known goodness forbid. ya know i even been buying roses doing dishes laundry leavin love notes just like she recomended bich is still a bag. i walk on egg shells all the time.i never know when i might step on a land mine and the next 3 days will be shot,or untill i come to her and say i was tottaly wrong. and when i do that she just lights up and were good again,but when she says something humped up there is nothing wrong with it. she never says sorry because she realy thinks whatever she does or says is either ok or justfied. she says there is no room foe sarcasm in our relationship. but she will poke fun at me anytime. which would be fine except if i say anything to her no matter how light it is hell to pay. sex bare minimum to get bye. im trying to master the art of not asking but when things are good i put my guard down and get some booty sometimes its wonderfull even but when crap rolls south then i regret it. i tell her i love her then i blow up after being pesterd for so long i cant take it any more or just accused of being mean or mad when im not and there is no reason to call me that then she says how can you tell me you love me after all the mean things you say.wtf im just trying to be an adult say im sorry and own up to my reaction. judgement and accusation is my life. bich hates me i guess.ya know this all started one nite when i told her i wasnt going to argue with her anymore im calming down. she turnedon me like a dog. she said"so your gona LET me be the bad guy" i say yep. bich. i realy am pisdoff right now and am glad she isnt here. that woman has turned into the most selfish person i know so much selfish pride and too fng blind to see how she is destroying her kids lives. i used to have a good woman. wish i could see her again. i miss her. been married 12 yrs.14 years together 2 kids beautiful home and a fd up relationship. that makes my life suck and desire death. sold all my hi caliber guns.true story. was just afraid in the heat of the moment i would get one and just blow my head off.

p.s. i realy do love my wife.shes just so dang self centerd and sensitive.and mean and. beautifull but really really mean and selfish. blind. how i realy miss the woman i once knew. you would have been jealous. i was the biggest nerd in school but i wound up with the best. where the fk is she now.

My story is a little different, my husband hates me and i don't know why! i tried to be a helpmate to him but he refused to let me.he thinks i treat him like a child but he treats me like I'm his mother. i tried to have a home that was something to be proud of and he treated it like his dumping ground.he said that i don't respect him but he didn't respect any thing i tried to do for our family.I paid all the bills in our home on time with both our money,and all he ever did was bounce checks,$75 to $100 a month,But when i say something like a wife would, you hate me! The husband takes up with old girl friends and talks about me to them about our business instead of talking about whats bothering him to me and he wonders why his marriage is not what he wants. why does my husband hate me, i never knew

You a woman and therefore, by default, you are also a liar and and you are welcome to get the **** on OUR site *****!!!!!

Geez. How familiar does most of that content sound?? Maybe all of us who can't afford to leave could buy a house central to all our locations and just each take a bedroom to ourselves and share the kitchen? billy's advice (??) sounds like I'm almost there - at the clicking point where I can't take it anymore either and will just leave. FUGK HER!

Can totally relate, man! My wife leaves her underwear full of fecal material right on the floor in the bathroom for me to find in the morning! Hate her disgusting guts!!

I can't afford to leave my wife either. I wish I could. So for now I just try and not talk to her as much as possible. My wife is really annoying too with the giving unsolicited advice. She treats me like a kid too. I hate my marriage just about as much as you do.

Being in the wrong marriage is hell on earth, man! My wife starts fights every single day - I hate her crummy guts!!

yeah, I know about being stuck. Can't afford to leave myself. If I could I'd go and just buy a house for myself. So, like you, I stay. I just try to get lost in a book or work or my kid and try not to think about the hell around me.

I can certainly relate to you, bro! Got the same exact situation here - life sucks big time!! Hate her lousy anti-sex guts!!!

Testimony after testimony, yet we continue to lie to the next generation of men and push them toward the same misery.

you can always tell when someone gives advise that has never been there themselfs. One poor guy wrote that he'd never see another women again, cause the way his wife treated him and some one advised that altho he was now gay that he could yata yata yata..he mised the point, which was that his present wife was so rotten he wanted to go live on a desert island . It is very difficult to think of just giving up on someone that you loved. The day will come and you won't take any more bullshit, and it will click. Then you will find a way to leave.