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Cannot Leave.......

 I've been married for a long time. So long I don't even want to think about it. My eldest son is 23, so I guess it would be a little over 25 years of pure hell.

From the day we got married there was trouble. My friends saw this before my wife and I got married. She treated me like dirt in front of them a week before our wedding. The best man asked, "Are you sure you want to go through with this?" What am to do? 200 guests from both sides of the family are coming and plans have been made. I thought things would get better, but they progressively got worse. We have three children ranging in age from 18 to 23. They are probably the only positive things that have come out of this marriage.

Why not divorce her? Who can afford to? The minute I win the lottery, she gets half of it and it's over. 

I really, really, really, hate her. If she were to be hanging on the edge of a cliff and nobody was looking, I would step on her fingers and grind it, and hold it there until I had my say, then let go. With a big, big smile on my face, no doubt. 

Hell, if I get caught and I go to prison, it wouldn't be so bad. 

My wife doesn't work. Never had the whole time we were married. I accepted that because I know how important having a mom at home is for the kids. In fact, she was actually good with the kids, so I put up with the verbal abuse. She often put me down in front of the kids. I freaked at first and fought back, but as years went by, I got tired of the fighting. I just stopped. Sex? Yeah, right. You wouldn't sleep with the devil, would you?

I wish my wife would find another man. Sick her on some other poor sap.

Nagging is expected. All husbands get that, but the disrespect I get from her is what really irks me. Yeah, I'm hurt by it and I deal with it quietly. I have my hobbies and I have my job. One day, I'll snap, I guess.

 I' so glad I have the opportunity to rant on here.............

givenup1 givenup1 51-55, M 7 Responses Oct 29, 2009

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Oh my god, for a moment I thought this was an old post from my boyfriend. He has 2 older daughters though from a prevous relationship. The ex is such a *****...treated my man like dirt too. I will punch her in the face if she is ever in my sight. I swear it....lol. gosh Im sorry for ranting in here...I would leave her and find a woman that would love and appreciate you :))

You should be able to leave an unwanted marriage. if your spouse disrespects<br />
you in front of your kids or abuses you, walk away. after many years it gets old. <br />
pay child support so you can still see your kids. breakaway so<br />
you can enjoys the rest of your life. find your self worth. <br />
don't live a miserable life. peace be upon you

I know what you are saying brother. Divorce is ugly, it's their final revenge. No one protects the men. We work ourselves to the point we have brittle veins and sick hearts and they get to sit and get manipeds and complain, waiting for us to die to cash in on the life's savings. <br />
Hang in there ...

yeah, I wish some sap would take my wife too... I guess no one is as stupid as me...

Givenup, I feel your pain. And you have raised the kids and you can now move on. Will she get half - sure. Given where you live, will you pay alimony - maybe. <br />
<br />
Freedom, happiness, respect - these are priceless. And guess what, there is someone, probably many someones out there who would jump at the chance to give you the happiness and respect you deserve while living in that one bedroom apartment eating spam and bologna. <br />
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I will tell you that you need some time and help to get your thoughts together before you decide what you should do. Also - read shrink4men.wordpress.com. The behavior you are describing is perfectly outlined here. Read this and then you can decide if this is the type of relationship you are in Then make some decisiions.

I guess the question I have for you is how much do you need to be happy again. Do you need a 3 or 4 bedroom house or will a 1 bedroom apartment do? Do you need a fancy new car or will a old running one do? Go talk to a lawyer, your kids are older so you shouldn't have child support. The courts will split your stuff 50/50 and I wouldn't expect the courts to give her more then half your salary. Happiness vs. money I will take happiness everyday.

Usually if the wife has not worked during the marriage and divorce comes down, some courts will order the man to pay alimony for 2-5 years, and tell her that is her time to get educated because at the end of that time she is on her OWN and expected to be a working contributing human to society and not a leech on her husband for eternity. Check with your lawyer and see.

Thanks for sharing mate. Sorry that this is the way it is. If nothing else, let's hope your testimony helps to save other naive or in denial men. They need to understand that this is the rule, the norm; not the exception.<br />
<br />
Take care of yourself, buddy.