I Hate My Wife More & More Each Day - Help
Im 31 years old & I hate my wife! It didnt use to be this way & I will explain. Well, we got married in 2006 & Had a great releationship from round June till the day after christmas. Then, she started leaving all the time. I took care of everything, bills, clothes, food, etc. but she always listened to her parents who dont like me because I have tattoos. Well, in 2008 we finnally split up, she left for a dope addict (not just saying that, I knew the guy) had a whole new life within 2 weeks!! We never spoke, & she shows back up to our old house in August asking if I would like to work things out. Im like, ok, ill try. I honestly did it because inside I really love her & wish she would change but I knew what would happen. So, she comes around a little bit "fishing" about what ive been doing & starts to ignore me. I tell her that this isnt fixing anything & would appreciate it if she was to just stop calling or texting me. She then starts making all these promises & I give her a chance. Well, put it this way, one week is pretty decent, the next, she doesnt even call. Now, I have had enough, no matter how hard I put my foot down, she thinks that she can come by when ever she pleases & im tired of it. I dont much like the cops & dont want them involved, but I dont know what else to do to get her to stay away. I mean, she ruins every holiday, ask me to goto wal-mart with her to get "stuff to fix up the house" (which sits in bags for weeks) & plays the nice role untill she thinks she has me again & ive just been thinking the whole time how she done me & never figured she would be bothering me anyway, so why wont she move on? she claims that I have always had her heart & she thought about me everyday, im like, you knew where I lived!
She ignores her daughter to work on her days off, same as me but she doesnt need the money (honestly).. get this, her daughter is 7 & she sits around me (her step-father) & talks about her mom, lol. "all she does is lie to me, she wont answer my phone calls, she sleeps all the time, etc." & I tell her, honey, she does the same to me.
I really think she needs some kind of help, im in no way perfect but I know how to & not to treat people. She thinks she is bipolar but every woman ive talked to for the last two years seems to think that they are.
How do you love someone & treat them like dirt everyday?
within the last month -
spent $479.86 at wal-mart on fr
spent $1321 on a new bathroom - (fixed the old one) new toliet, tub, everything. she hasnt even used it
halloween - brought her daughter at 8:49pm to go trick or treatin in the rain?!!
thanksgiving - I cooked all night & day - she showed up for almost 3 hours
So, here's another deal. like I said, we had a good releationship being married for around 6 months. She never "dresses up" for me, or anything.
I guess I should explain. June 29'th 2008 she left & we split up for good as I mentioned above. I had taken to much of her childish stuff. She hid her cellphone from me for over a year even though she knew I knew about it, lol, WTF? Even made me get her one on my plan. Thats what had helped ruin everything. Anyway, August 9'th 2009 she told a close personal friend of mine to tell me "hey", so I called her & asked if she wanted her stuff - (yes, she left EVERYTHING she owned) on her voice mail. She called back later that day & asked if she could stop by. When she gets here, I goto general talking, you know, like how you been, stuff like that. She then says, Ive came to try & fix everything that I ever done to you & would like to work to become a couple again. Well, I love her, so I figured id give her a chance. I didnt bother her, left her alone, some mornings I sent a good morning message, most of the time I waited on her. She started coming around full time again the day after her daughters birthday inwhich I got her a 110cc 4-wheeler, & said she wanted me to know how gratefull she was & without my help she wouldnt have been able to get her anything. Well, I know in my heart that she only comes around because her daughter loves me & has no father figure but I decide to give her a chance. She asks what are some things that she can fix.
I tell her the cell phone, atleast change the number. Stop running from all of her problems because in the long run it just makes them worse, actually be honest with me & try to enjoy & have a real family releationship.
This is where I need help. I love the woman to death but hate her with a passion if you know what I mean. She will be very good for about 3 days then the next 3-4 will either be "weird" or she will stay with her parents & ignore me. I dont know what to do. I have let her go several times but she always comes back & if she would atleast try to fix things & maybe make it like it used to be when we got married I wouldnt be typing this right now. Do I ignore her? Tell her to go on?
See, her parents never showed her any attention, its always been her sister (i know its wrong & not my fault) & since she had her daughter its her they pay attention to, not my wife. She wants them to love her so bad that she will do anything they say & I tell her - "well, your almost 27 & if they havent showed it by now, they arent going to, but you have your daughter & me to spread all the love you need". She agrees but every once in awhile, she runs back.
I am a VERY SIMPLE guy, 31 - 6'1 220, she is sorta simple 5'3 107 26 (27 in a week).
I could go on & on, but im so mad, im rambling & im sorry.. ill either respond to comments or edit this. will edit more later.