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My Wife Is Making Me Sick

I have been with my wife for 15 years now. We got married pretty young. We have a 14 yeard old autistic daugher and an 8 year old son.

Around our 10th aniversay we got divorce and a year later we decided to give it another try. On my part mainly for the kids. Today I'm upset and dissapointed at the same things I was 5 years ago. Basically I do pretty much everything.

My wife works and refuses to contribute with the expenses of the home. She does a little grocery every now and then but not sufficient. She doesn't even

pay for her car insurance, I have to do that. She doesn't take care of the kids the way she should specially our daughter. I'm so tired of having to do

everything from  doing the  laundry to helping the kids with homework every night. The house is always a mess, because she refuses to clean unless I take the lead and she ends up doing very little mainly her closet and her bathroom. she doesn't cook either. The kids eat dinner every day at my parents.

I forgot to mentioned tha the main reason why we got divorce 5 years ago was because she was cheating on me.  I left the house then and took my autistic dauther because she couldn't handle her. I leaved in my parents house with my dauther for a year before we gat back together.

Today I find my self feeling the same way I felt 5 years ago. I don't think she is cheating on me now, but you never know.

I know that if we end our relationg ship I will take my dauther, but I'm afraid what will become of my son with her.

We are currently going to marriage counseling, but that is not working out. I need make some changes in my life and stop feeling the way that I feel.

Havana2010 Havana2010 36-40 7 Responses Apr 11, 2010

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I hope things are different for you now. If not i suggest you cut her off finacially emotionally whatever. My missus used to do the same. Work non stop and not contribute. I had enough one day cut off all my financial contributions and dumped the kids unaanounced at her work for her to look after for a change.<br />
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That quickly got her attention. In your position considering she was cheating you should of left straight away.

My mom lives off my dad the way your wife does, and won't contribute to anything. I told him a million times - "Don't pay for her stuff : insurance, cable,etc. If her car breaks, don't run out fixing it. She's got $ - let her call a tow truck & rent a car. May be then she'll appreciate you." I love both of my parents, but I hate to see one of them being taken advantage of.<br />
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Super is right - how would it make a difference if she didn't come home at nights? I understand about your son, though. If she wants to have nothing to do with the kids, she probably won't mind you spending lots of time with him.<br />
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May be you could insist on a trial separation. She might be scared into changing her ways, if she's going to have to pay all of her living expenses. A better option for her would be to pay for half of them, instead of everything. Hire a cleaning lady with the money you'll get from her.<br />
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Or separate & get apartments next door, but don't get divorced, so you don' t have to pay alimony.

my wife dont take showers

Dude, my wife is no different, she dont clean, don't cook or help with anything. I dont understand one thing, if she is not contributing to anything, i.e. to kids' education, their upbringing, washing and cleaning, what difference will it make if she is not there for you or for them? You wont feel a thing doing all this by yourself when she is no more because you have to do it anyway. I'd say don't pay a penny for her and make her do all the help, if she refuses, get rid of her.

Dude, my wife is no different, she dont clean, don't cook or help with anything. I dont understand one thing, if she is not contributing to anything, i.e. to kids' education, their upbringing, washing and cleaning, what difference will it make if she is not there for you or for them? You wont feel a thing doing all this by yourself when she is no more because you have to do it anyway. I'd say don't pay a penny for her and make her do all the help, if she refuses, get rid of her.

If what you're saying is true, and I am not calling you a liar - just saying - then you should really stop paying her car insurance. If the arrangement you have is that you're supposed to pay for almost everything, then why gripe about it here? Probably, because it's NOT the arrangement you have. Sooooo, stop paying. When she wants to drive, she'll find her way to pay for it. What DOES she spend her money on?<br />
Peace to you!!