My name is James, I was physically abused as a child, I saw my mom abused, and as I got older I realized my coping mechanism was to shut down and remove everyone from my life. I joined the military at 20 and stayed in for 8 years, when I got out , I was diagnosed with PTSD , and S.A.D.S, well as days turn into weeks I've realized I have made extremely dumb disicions, I left my wife and my two young children, my ex wife won't let me see them because she feels I am not stable enough mentally. Everyday that passes seems like a knife wound to the gut. I've seen therapist , doctors , drug concelors and friends. No one has helped and I'm so sick of this content feeling of despair, I don't know what to do, I want to end it just so my kids could possible not see me like this. I have night terrors strong enough to shake me from my sleep and cause me to wake up screaming! I am a burden to my mom and don't even know what a full night sleep looks like. I drink to help mask my nightmares and wish that someone else would kill me, because I'm to ***** enough to do it myself
Nevah8ter Nevah8ter
2 Responses Jan 13, 2013

I hope you are finding some peace. I have been going through a really horrific period in my life. Some days are better than others. Look into the Emotional Freedom Technique and Emotion code by Bradley Nelson. It may help you release some of those negative emotions. I find it neutralizes the emotions attached to the traumatic experiences.

Sir I m with u nd I respect u every body makes a good or bad decision I also make bad decision the important thing is that to learn from this and make some good frnds and be happy try to be happy share and cry with some one who understand u nd I m always with u sir