The Pain Ends When I End

I cant help the way i feel.Wanting to kill myself is like breathing for me.It goes on all day and night.Currently we live in a household of six were my mom is the only one who works.She has contracted an illness that may one day incapacitate her from walking im deafly scared cause theres nothing i can do to ease her pain. Im scared of being alone. Im mentally ill and have done and at least once come close to completing suicide.
A couple days i cut a long rope to hang myself.Not to do it right now but if i needed to to sometime do it in the future.The future to me isnt bright and happy its scary and miserable.I cant live like this.Apart of me is still scared to die but a bigger part of me hopes the next time it works.
An Ep User An EP User
Jan 20, 2013