I hate myself now. I'm disappointed in myself. I can't even recognize who I am. Like I have no dream, less motivation and have no love for my lovely God and ignore all the rules He made that i used to obey. What's that?! I used to be a big dreamer, do everything passionately, and love my God before everything. I want the old me. I wanna live the rest of my life like that. I wanna learn and study until the end of my life, I wanna do something for my society and my religion, I wanna be a pious girl who will just be a pious wife who will bear a significant number of pious and intelligent children. And the most important thing is to worship my Lord. That's what I want. How can I forget about it, about my dreams or goals or purposes or whatever they are. How can I?