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A Selfless,unworthy Being

Of all the things I've done in my life, nothing has hurt the one I love so much. I was with my ex boyfriend for a good 3-5 months, and while we were a couple, life was great. We were totally in love <3 We went on dates, hung out with friends, did the usual boyfriend girlfriend stuff. But, there was a problem: I wasn't always open to him about things in my life. I figured it wouldn't be a bother, but apparently it bothered him that I couldn't be 100% honest and open to him. That's not all...I would mock him in a playful way, and sometimes it went a bit too far. He's the type of guy whose feelings get hurt easily, so it didn't occur to me after what I said to him. Everything was going well on Sunday, the 20th of March. But on Monday, after a little harmful joke about sexual acts, I took it the wrong way and ignored for the rest of the day. He texted me later that night, and I didn't feel like replying. That Tuesday, I had to stay at community college a few hours extra to makeup an exam, and since I didn't bring my phone, I didn't receive the break up text till later that evening. I tried to text him back, but he didn't respond. On Thursday the 24th, I decided to text him cause I just couldn't deal with how the break up ended. We've got things straightened out, but just the way I've been treating him without realizing it, I feel like I never deserved a great human being like him. I love him with all my heart, and nothing's going to change that. I blame myself for the all wrong I've done. If it weren't for me, we'd still be together...and it's hard finising this up. I just...I don't know if I'll ever find another great guy like him in my lifetime.

To Jimmy, my one and only true love.
I love you.
takethispain takethispain 18-21, F Mar 26, 2011

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