Yeah, Me Too.

You don't have to be young to be stupid.  Although I was young and for the times did something really goofy.  I was 17 and by that time, in this day and age a girl would know the score.  Well, your's truly didn't.  I went out with a college sophomore.  I was dumber, well, than dumb. I really knew nothing.  Well, I liked kissing.  So the results, of which I will not bore you, or perhaps I shall, are as one can conclude. I was the disgrace of Dumbville.  I screamed and fought all the way, but II GOT THE BLAME.  He went about telling everyone I was an easy lay.  Easy lay, my ***, I hurt so badly that I took two aspirin.   At that time that's all we had.  I, afterward, tried to kill myself because of the derision of my school.  People hated me and derided me and ostrazized me to the point I had no friends. I have none today and I am 60 years old.  What kills me is the fact that that was the year of and summer of love.  Everyone in California were happy to be having sex.  I only learned that later.  We were SLOW, if you haven't figured that out by now.  I did not want to have sex, so by today's standards, I was raped.  Well, that was a damned awful time in my life.  Eleventh and twelfth years to finish.  Somehow I did it.  Went to collage.  So, let me tell you that killing one's self over a man is like killing yourself over a bee-sting.  They come and they go.  Most men are trash.  I learned a lot during those days.  I now cannot have an orgasem.  Never have, except in my sleep.  I am married.  We have no sex and it does not bother me. Hubby had heart surgery and there that went.  I love him and he is my friend.  That's all we need.  Yes, sometimes I do desire sex, but cut that off quickly. Cheating would do no good-I would hate myself more. No man is worth dying for.  Keep your head above water until you're a little older and you will see what I mean.  Most men are scum, trash, and damned liars. 
Barbara726 Barbara726
56-60, F
1 Response Aug 19, 2010

Don't blame yourself for the younger days issues.They happens because we were young.I am sorry about your husband's surgery that leads to no sex.I have the same issue.I cannot have sex 5 yrs ago since my adrenal gland stopped working.My soulmate who is 12 yrs younger than me is a wonderful and ubderstanding man.He never make my life miserable because of this instead he is so consoling.I am the one that felt guilty.But we are very much in love and intimate.