I Hate The Person I Am.

I hate so many things but when It comes down to it the thing I hate the most is me. As a kid I was always socially awkward, nobody really talked to me and just thought of me as that weird quiet girl. I somehow made friends but I can't keep them, its like they have an expiration date on them, the longest I've kept a friend was three years. I feel like a horrible person but I get sick of people fast, and its not long before I want to kick them to the curb and never talk to them again. I only keep people around because its better then being alone,I hate that about myself. I hate that I'm so awkward, always afraid of what people will think if I say this or do that when I know deep down they don't give a **** what I do. I feel so vain always caring so much what others think but I can't help it. I hate that I never really cared about my grades or anything in school and now I'll probably end up a nothing because of it. Now I have a job but I'm horrible at it I wouldn't be surprised if they fire me. I used to get mad at people for saying that I would end up living in my parents basement for the rest of my life but now I'm starting to think they were right. What I hate most of all is that I'm sitting here feeling sorry for myself, when some peoples problems seem so big mine seem so stupid. Why should I be here moping around? my life could be much worse, but here I am all woe is me. I despise myself, I feel like I have no purpose, like I will bring no good to the world. I wish I wasn't born because then I wouldn't have to deal with myself.
chilichunga chilichunga
18-21, F
Jul 15, 2010