How To Love Yourself If You Cannot Let You

I am so in the edge that I just cannot handle it anymore. I have been like this from starting school and now when I am 27 years old - I am so tired. I have tried to **** myself but I don't have the courage to do it - i hate it but I am so week. I really hate myself, but by some reason I cannot let help myself. I have read many books and visited many doctors and nothing. I think that is because I don't let to help myself. Every day I cry and begging that I would not wake tomorrow. I am so so tired. I just cannot anymore. And truth is that all my hope has gone. I know that I will never find the reason, why I cannot love myself. I have tried many things but nothing has not helped, because the only thing why I want to love myself is beacuse maybe then others would start loving myself. And I think because of that I have not succeeded, beacuse the reason is wrong. I hate myself so much that I would like to just run against the wall. And as I have felt it for 20 years I know, that I will never beacome the person I am. I am just so tired...
katriin katriin
Jul 25, 2010