Fat 21 Year Old Virgin Who Just Wans To Find A Trye Love In Life

I am fat 21 years old and a virgin. I always prided myself in being a virgin, but now it mostly arises from my insecurities. My flat butt, my pig nose, the scars on my face, hirsutism, etc.

I don't really have any friends either because I push people away or they just don't want to be around me. I can be be very negative at points. I recently got a facebook and I think this have furthered my hate of myself. I realize how many few friends I really have.

I am so desperate and hatelful towards myself that I go to BBW cha trooms and give random men pictures of me just to hear them compliment me. And then I help them get off by touching myself or talking dirty to them, even though deep inside I am disgusted with myself for doing it. Sometimes when I am done, I shiver, because I feel like such a *****.

When I go to parties with friends I am so insecure about my flat butt that I don't dance with boys. And I wear makeup to hide the hideous scars on my face and chest. I used to be so beautiful. Many boys wanted to date me. But now the only males who want to have anything to do with me are creepy older males who only want me for sex.

I hate being fat and insecure, and not having any real person to love me for me, and not some random internet *****. I had lost 40 lbs before, but I gained 20 of it back when I came home from college.
MakeItGetBetter MakeItGetBetter
18-21
2 Responses Aug 6, 2010

There maybe so many boys who want to date you.......... You don't need to feel bad about yourself. Love yourself you will see so many people will love you back. Almost all my Facebook friends are BBW or FA and they're all sincere.I'm almost 25 and still a virgin I don't feel bad about myself i'm lookin for a BBW to share my life with.

you don't need to treat yourself this way. you deserve better.i don't know the reason for your self hate but please give yourself a chance. who said you're not nice and beautiful person the way you are. you don't need others to feel ok. we just need to accept who we are within our selfs. please don't do things that you don't like. that only will make you hate yourself more. you can say no! not only to the people but to yourself too. when something inside you whispers you negative thoughts and push you do things you hate,say no! control your thoughts. accept only the truth-you're worthy. God loves you the way you are.<br />
take care.