Everything In The Open.

Sitting here feeling like life just isn’t good. Reading something that’s putting every feeling I’ve locked up out into the open. My hurt hearts so much I can’t breathe. Everything feels fake. There are good things in my life but I’m still hoping this is a dream, I’ll wake up and everything would be fine. But that isn’t reality, this is. The pain is real, the memories, everything is real and I can’t stand it. I want to know what life is like if i let go, of the anger or the inability to forgive him.

I act strong, like it doesn’t bother me, well I’m sorry but I’m not okay and i never will be. The betrayal was too much for my child like mind, everything changed. Every smile is fake, my laugh isn’t mines, my heart isn’t really there. I can’t seem to find the little girl who never smiled if she didn’t want to, I want her back. Why did he have to take her away? I have to find her because I’m sure she’s crying in a corner or living life like a hollow shell. She needs to cry and scream and ask the question i know she’s wondering, “Why?” I can’t answer the question but I’ll listen until she has nothing else to say. Sometimes I wake up at night and see her standing next to me crying, blink and she’s gone. It scares me to think she’s still crying alone.

How can i find her?

skipbeat skipbeat
22-25, F
1 Response Aug 11, 2010

The acting strong is so much easier than letting in the hurt sometimes! It would scary to really<br />
feel all that pain!! I am sorry for whatever happened to you that has left you empty! Your words touched me and you are a very good writer!!!