How Did I Get This Way?

I have no friends. I just don't enjoy people's company like I used to. I am tall and lanky with the body of a twelve year-old even though I am fifteen. My clothes and hair **** me off because they are both ugly. So now I coward at home by myself so people don't have to see me.
My self-esteem has gone down so low in the past few months it is shocking. I hate my lazy father who for some reason doesn't give a damn about my brother and I unless it involves sports. He only calls my brother about his football and the only time he calls me is on holidays. The worst part is he didn't leave us he actually lives close to our house. So he has no damn excuse. Yet I see him two to four times a year.
To top it all off aside from the problems about my social life, my body image and my father. I am black, which means I have to deal with stupid stereotypes. I speak perfect english and I was almost on the honour role if I hadn't gotten a B in science and a C in gym. But when people look at me they think I am from Africa even though I was born in Canada, I love sports even though I nearly failed gym if it were for the health tests, I am a comedian and my dream is to be shaking my booty in a rap video.

Five years ago, if someone had told me this was how I was going to end up, I would have laughed in their face.
mentalsurgery mentalsurgery
18-21, F
1 Response Aug 13, 2010

I'm fifteen too, white and I have the worst self esteem. I hate my hair too and I have no fashion sense but I can't bring myself to care... Just know that you aren't alone.