Not Easy To Change That...

What I have to do is learn how to accept that I'm not perfect.  Accept that I've been banged up mentally pretty badly. Accept that I'm older now, that I will have bad days, that I will hurt..   That I will be depressed. that there are times I'll hurt so badly I'll need to sob in a fetal position.  Accept that I was broken in ways that cannot all be repaired.  Accept that my pain is legitimate and has to be felt to the end. Accept that the wrongs done to me were as bad as the devastation that comes roaring out of my heart like an Antarctic winter blizzard.

Accept that I may not get everything done as I should.  Accept that the best I can do...may not be so great, so excellent. Accept my health is wobbly.  Accept that I'm going to write it down or forget it. Accept that I'm going to screw up, make mistakes, insert my foot in my mouth, make an *** of myself. Accept that what I do often is my best. Accept what I do is what I do.

Accept that people make me fearful and love them anyway. Accept that my paintings are never going to be as good as I wish, or probably make me money.  Accept that I'm going to get my heart broken many times.  Accept that **** happens, and that does not mean it's my fault. Accept that I'm old and parts of me are really giving up and going with gravity.  Accept my health problems are likey to never go away-both the old ones and the ones recently acquired. Accept that I'm going to be late on oil changes, lazy, keep losing the same 5 pounds over and over in order to maintain my weight loss.

Accept all of myself.

If one does a "celtic cross" tarot spread, the top card of the column indicates that which the reader has to work with and can use.

I am what I can work with and use.  I may not always like it.  I have to learn to be at peace with it.
Not easy.
hylierandom hylierandom
6 Responses Jul 22, 2011

Accepting something is the only way to change it. ^_^

You can do it! You are surely one of the strong ones, I can read it between every word you write. But try to keep a bit of hope along with all this acceptance :) Some of the illnesses may go away once your body doesn't have to fight so much with the trauma stored inside, so just keep working with that, it will get better and easier. I know it's hard to keep the faith, but I hope you manage to. You deserve better.

yup....yup....yup....uh huh....check....check....nods.<br />
<br />
:) yeah. all that is stuff we work on every day. things will get better. if you work on them, they will get better. and i don't mean painting or oil changes. i mean your health, mental and physical (to some extent physical) errrrrr.....right. ok. so ummm...that's it. ok. bye now.<br />
<br />
shy folks in<br />
<br />

I enjoyed reading this. Inspirational.


hylierandom,<br />
Thank you for this, I also need to accept myself. None of us are perfect, even those that may appear that way. It is important to be kind to ourselves and not beat ourselves up every little thing. If we are always mad at ourselves we can't be improving. <br />
It's definitely not easy. <br />
You are a talented writer and you are obviously intelligent and creative. I am learning that things like timely oil changes are not what is important in this life but what you have in your heart is very important. Good luck with your journey and thank you for saying some things that help me with mine.

I feel perfect when I help someone.

I feel perfect when I help someone.

Helping other people does help me feel worth my oxygen.