Not Easy To Change That...

What I have to do is learn how to accept that I'm not perfect.  Accept that I've been banged up mentally pretty badly. Accept that I'm older now, that I will have bad days, that I will hurt..   That I will be depressed. that there are times I'll hurt so badly I'll need to sob in a fetal position.  Accept that I was broken in ways that cannot all be repaired.  Accept that my pain is legitimate and has to be felt to the end. Accept that the wrongs done to me were as bad as the devastation that comes roaring out of my heart like an Antarctic winter blizzard.

Accept that I may not get everything done as I should.  Accept that the best I can do...may not be so great, so excellent. Accept my health is wobbly.  Accept that I'm going to write it down or forget it. Accept that I'm going to screw up, make mistakes, insert my foot in my mouth, make an *** of myself. Accept that what I do often is my best. Accept what I do is what I do.

Accept that people make me fearful and love them anyway. Accept that my paintings are never going to be as good as I wish, or probably make me money.  Accept that I'm going to get my heart broken many times.  Accept that **** happens, and that does not mean it's my fault. Accept that I'm old and parts of me are really giving up and going with gravity.  Accept my health problems are likey to never go away-both the old ones and the ones recently acquired. Accept that I'm going to be late on oil changes, lazy, keep losing the same 5 pounds over and over in order to maintain my weight loss.

Accept all of myself.

If one does a "celtic cross" tarot spread, the top card of the column indicates that which the reader has to work with and can use.

I am what I can work with and use.  I may not always like it.  I have to learn to be at peace with it.
Not easy.