I Wanna Feel Like A Kid Again.

I do look at myself in the mirror. But it's not that easy. When I'm with other people i get so nervous. I barely talk, only with my friends. I have social anxiety disorder. Its so uncomfortable. I hate it so much. I feel like i lost my voice. I also feel very fat. I am 5'1 and 120 pounds. I feel like a hippo. I am currently starving myself to have that dream figure. My right eye is smaller than my left one. I wear these ugly glasses because contacts are expensive. I am very anti social. There's nothing special about me. I like writing, but I'm so bad at it. Drawing is also what i suck at. I can't sing,dance, and model. I feel so ugly because I'm Asian. There's nothing to live for. I just wanna go back and have that care free spirit when i was kid. I was a very chubby kid when i was 3 . Haha i still remember how my grandmother use to over feed me sweets. That was when i didn't know what fat or ugly meant. That was the time when i could just talk like a normal person. Feeling like a kid again is my dream. I don't know how to anymore..
allivard allivard
22-25, F
Aug 20, 2011