I Don't Like Who I Am
Posted October 9th, 2011 at 5:55PM
Secondly, I have absolutely terrible social skills. All of my friends are drifting away because we're all at college. I've been in college almost a month now and haven't made any friends. I feel like I am going to be alone for a long time, possibly forever. I just feel as if I won't make any friends and I'll never find somebody who I can talk to. Most of all, I just hate myself for being such a horrible person. I'm so selfish and I can't help it. I always think of things in terms of me but I can't help it. It's so frustrating to know I have this problem but being able to do nothing about it. The worst thing is that it drives the people I love away from me. Deep down I think I am a good person but all of this lying and being selfish just makes me feel like such a horrible person. Like I don't deserve to be loved. I just want my girlfriend to tell me she loves me and will help me but without her, finding help seems pointless. I just need somebody who understands. I find it so hard to explain myself sometimes and I feel like I confuse myself when I try to explain my thought process in telling lies. Somebody please help me :(
Luke
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Luke, you are okay. You are young and this is a very vulnerable age. Life will get easier and better. Now, it's great that you see some things about yourself that you want to change. Man! This is great! Do you know how many people out there in their 40's don't see where they need to change and they don't GROW? Massive! These are the people who usually get divorced in mid-life. But you are seeing your areas needed to be addressed and willing to change them. So how do you do it? Counseling. Go get counseling. Also the lying can be very impulsive and your mouth speaks when your brain thinks but hasn't fully thought something out. Try to bite your tongue and wait those 3 seconds before answering a question. Or if you say something that isn't completely true,,,, just say, "Wait! Let me revise that. I said that completely wrong." Fear can trigger this anxiety and you into answering too quickly. Work on that... Remember take 3 seconds to respond verbally.
Also you can go to NA - Narcotics Anonymous, which is for addicts,,,, not just drugs, but also lying, stealing, overeating, gambling, sex, bulimia, anything that one is addicted to. NA is FREE counseling. Go, meet some friends. Get involved. Please go to at least 3 meetings before deciding if you like it or not. And ask for help during the meeting. Open up, say I have a lying problem (all the people there will relate). Say you need social skills. They will give you pointers and conmend you when you are doing great!
Here's your answer. Now go and get some help!
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